Yank in London
occasional musings on politics, culture and life in general from an american in exile
"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"
Tom Paine - Common Sense
"A republic, sir, if you can keep it."
Benjamin Franklin
"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"
Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong
Just say no to extra-planetary emigration
I wouldn't normally be so arrogant as to disagree with someone as intelligent as Stephen Hawking. However I think he is completely wrong
about this. We shouldn't be allowed to go off and fuck with other planets until we've learned to take care of the one we've got. Just any other other ten year old!
"I just can't concentrate with them pointing at me like that. Let's send out for some muesli."
J. Everett of Auckland, N.Z. is an angry man. An important business meeting of his was disrupted after his clients
got distracted by the surgically enhanced breasts of a woman on a nearby billboard. The advertisement was for muesli breakfast bars. The New Zealand Advertising Standards Board agreed saying
"people should not be portrayed in a manner which uses sexual appeal simply to draw attention to an unrelated product".
So I assume that enlarged bazooms would have been acceptable had the ad been for brassieres or breast implants.
The world is getting too weird for satire
If I had
read this somewhere other than
The Onion I could have been sucked into believing it was true.
I'm more than "24 hours from Tulsa"...
...and
I'm glad!
"If I had ever been here before..."
I've never thought of déjà vu a purely a visual thing and as I never bothered to find out what causes it I didn't know that scientists had agreed that it was related to delays in data flows to the brain from one eye as opposed to another.
Now they are
not so sure. A blind man studied by researchers at Leeds University apparently experiences déjà vu with his other senses such as smell. Akira O’Connor, one of the researchers says
"It is the first time this has been reported in scientific literature"
But does it seem like the first time...
I haven't thought about this for a long time
I've lived in Europe for almost fourteen years now. When I first moved here it took some time to get used to the bank notes which are different sizes for different denominations.
When I would comment on it my friends would ask me "what do blind people do in America". My usual answer, after some reflection, was that "I guess they get fucked"!
Now one of
those damned activist judges has ruled that government has to do something about it. Not a moment too soon in my estimation.
Driving whilst legless
Douglas Bader would be proud of
this man. 80 MPH in a Vectra is impressive even if you've got both legs.
It's only rock & roll but I like it
Coming soon to a city near you!
I've never really thought of the Bush family fixer, James Baker, as a rock star but it seems that he may have aspirations in that direction. It appears that Iraq Study Group members are so pleased with their studio work that they are planning a
triumphant American tour to celebrate.
The question on everyone's mind is whether they will opt for small intimate venues, mid-sized indoor arenas or have monster blow outs in outdoor stadia.
"Hey. Has anybody seen Yuri?"
Everyone loves a fire drill don't they? It's always on a day that it is pissing down with rain and then you have to trudge off to find your designated meeting point where some unfortunate office junior has to try and work out if you are all there.
Two questions about
this particular exercise:
1.) Where do they meet?
2.) Who do they call if someone's missing?
Maybe this guy can find Osama
It would certainly be an embarrassment to the US security services. But then what isn't these days?
Just say it ain't so
Lebanese citizens, who obviously haven't been following the Bush/Blair position on Iraq, are concerned that their country may be
slipping back into a civil war.
Had they been paying attention to the
Ruler of all He Surveys and
his minion they would know that if you simply refuse to ignore the existence of a thing it just goes away...
It ain't figure skating folks
But ice hockey now has a reason to be in the sights of those who would protect us from those insidious gay folks and their damned icky agenda. Bob Knight of the Christian Media Center is upset that the NHL have given their
stamp of approval to a film tentatively called
Breakfast with Scott about a gay ex-professional ice hockey player.
You would think that Christians would be more worried about
the violence. I guess not.
Apparently Mr. Knight’s suggestion that the script be rewritten so that the story would be about an ex-gay professional ice hockey player was rejected by the producers.
Nutters for Bush
Suddenly I seem to understand everything. Just go
read this. All will be revealed!
Now if we can just figure out how to get all Bush voters onto anti-psychotics perhaps things will begin to improve!
"Won't you be my neighbour?"
George W. Bush seems to be having a bit of trouble making friends of late. The latest incident occured when he tried to make small talk with newly elected Democrat, James Webb of Virginia. Bush tried to schmooze Webb by asking him about his son. Webb basically told him
to fuck off.
Come on George. Republicans didn't want to be seen with you before the election. What made you think that Democrats would want hang out with you afterward?
Helping the helpless!
Dear sirs,
Even as far away as Britain I have heard of your courageous campaign to save Wal-Mart shoppers from the insidious influence of those unrepentant sinners whose sexual preference isn't Biblically approved. I was however when I stumbled on the attached document. It appears that those who do not yet realise that they ought to be ex-gays have rated the American retail sector by how friendly each business is to those with their repugnant tastes.
It turns out that your focus on Wal-Mart may be misplaced. Their ratings, and let's face it that until they give up their life style choice and embrace Jesus they are in the best position to know, suggest that Wal-Mart is not among the most gay-friendly business out there.
They trail behind Best Buy, Sears / KMart, Walgreens, Borders, Whole Foods, Costco, Staples, Home Depot, Target and the entire Supervalu chain. (I don't understand why they didn't rate Ikea - perhaps that is just a given!)
So I think that you should get out there and start boycotting these other friends of Satan. Operation Save Best Buy! Operation Save Borders!
By the way you should also throw all of your weight behind the good people at Meijer Supercenters. They have a gay-friendly rating of zero. You can't get more Christian than that.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Note: before you go assuming that I am some evil British pooftah you should know that I am the proud bearer of a 100% heterosexual American passport!
Florida election fraud killing dolphins
Dolphins are dying mysteriously in
Florida bays and scientists are puzzled as to the cause.
Given that they are highly intelligent and sensitive creatures I think I have an answer. After the recent
failures of
democracy in the "Sunshine State" perhaps they are just embarrassed to be there and are losing the will to live.
To think she used to be such a lovely girl
Why is Ann Coulter now so full of hate? Her
latest column (not for the faint of heart) fumes at American airport security for its lack of racial profiling of Arabs. The most recent incident that seems to have upset her regards the six Muslim imams who were removed from a US Airways flight for well, praying and being Muslim. Amongst other things she no-so-subtly refers to all Muslims as liars.
However I did have some sympathy for her and for the lovely passengers on the flight that refused to fly with these obviously evil men after she tells us that witnesses said the men "appeared to be either Islamic fanatics or U.S. Army chaplains on leave from Guantanamo". I'm sure that I wouldn't want to fly with a chaplain from Guantánamo either.
She also informs us that "the only reason Americans feel guilty about 'racial profiling' against blacks is because of the history of discrimination against blacks in this country". Perhaps, Ann, most of us simply feel that racial, ethnic or religious profiling is simply the wrong thing to do.
Perhaps she needs an anger management course. If she gathers up all her friends such as Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly maybe they can get a group discount!
Oh, and Ann, here's a fashion tip for you; never wear white before after Labor Day and never wear black cocktail dresses before noon!
Better music through chemistry
Scientists believe that they have uncovered the secret of the unexcelled sound produced by the string instruments made by Antonio Stradivari in Cremona over 300 years ago.
It seems that he
treated the wood with wormwood.
Artemisia absinthium is also the main ingredient of
traditional Absinthe. Could there be a connection?
American martyr passes unnoticed
Nearly a month ago Malachi Ritscher burned himself to death in public in Chicago
as a protest against the Iraq war. His message was barely noticed getting nearly as much coverage as a traffic report as a political act.
Searches of American newspapers yield the following results:
NY Times - 1 hit (yesterday)
Washington Post - 5 hits (all yesterday)
LA Times - no hits
Chicago Tribune - 3 hits
Chicago Sun-Times - 1 hits
We should not let his death be in vain.
Requiscat in Pace.
The end of the affair
You know how it goes. First one member of a relationship starts to worry that the other party
doesn't have their heart in it.
Then the second member, offended by the first party's lack of trust,
shows up late to dinner.
In an attempt at reconciliation party one says that party two is
"just the one for me" but party two fails to reciprocate.
It's all going to end in tears isn't it? I don't think that I can stand the pathos and melodrama. I think I'll just see what's on
The Discovery Channel.
Colombian corruption
George Bush is fast loses his circle of friends in Latin America as more and more countries counter the right wing trend and elect a mixture of progressive, reformist and indigenous governments.
Now one of his staunchest Latin American allies, Alvaro Uribe of Colombia, is under pressure as links between legislators and a member of the government and right wing paramilitary groups
have become public.
I'm sure GW will continue to support his good buddy and continue to pour hundreds of millions of dollars in military aid into the country
to the detriment of all.
Rose coloured genes
Mankind is searching for
the "cancer gene". There is disagreement over the existence of
a "gay gene". There may or may not be
a "genius gene".
I think it is time that some scientists took samples from US President George Bush and British PM Tony Blair and went looking for the "delusion gene". There must be a hereditary factor that predisposes these Western "leaders" to be unable to see what is staring them in the face.
Yesterday we had the President pulling the al-Qaeda genie out of the bottle again to point the finger at the terrorist group for being responsible for all of the
problem in Iraq.
He was followed by the British prime minister telling us that NATO forces are
winning in Afghanistan.
I expect to here about progress soon!
All roads lead to Moscow
Now British investigators have found traces of Polonium on
two British Airways jets that have been used on the London-Moscow run. British - Russian relations
are in jeopardy after minister Peter Hain criticised the Russian government's "huge attacks on liberty".
Undoubtedly there will be much more to follow.
The heat (will soon be) on
I am not a climate expert but I am certain
that this is not good news!
Elizabeth de la Varga…
...
welcome to the no fly list!
"I am shocked, shocked I say!"
Mexico’s new president Felipe Calderon is packing his cabinet
with his mates and cronies. Reminds me of someone but for the life of me I can’t think who?
Doctor? Schmoctor. Who needs it?
Revisionist history
US Major General William Caldwell said yesterday that there was not a civil war in Iraq at this time
"because the government is still functioning".
This should please American scholastic publishing companies who will now have to replace all of those high school history books that suggest, with no basis at all, that the United States had a civil war in the nineteenth century.
Forget Bull Run (I & II). Forget Appomattox Court House. Forget Antietam. Forget Gettysburg (and Lincoln's address). Forget Sherman's march to the sea. None of that actually occurred.
"Welcome to the My Pet Goat wing
Stories abound that the G.W. Bush Presidential Library will end up in
Dallas, Texas and that is may cost in the neighbourhood of 500 million USD or roughly 250 million USD for each book that he has read to completion.
Rumours that the institution will be a replica of a one room school house so as not to dwarf the book collection can not be confirmed at this time!
Same story - different spin
Stay away from Stare Kiejkuty
If someone offers to send you on a holiday to Poland and the flight is to Szymany airport or the hotel is in Stare Kiejkuty my advice is that you oughtn't take them up on the offer.
The
European parliament's investigation into "extraordinary rendition" is complete and several governments, including the British government, have been found to be complicit. Over 1200 rendition flights passed through European airports.
I will now hold my breath until charges are filed.
Millions for kebab shop owner - Eurofighters for the Saudis
So BAE
may have cheated a bit in order to get a contract for the Eurofighter from Saudi Arabia. So what.
Everyone will end up happy. The Saudi Princes, and good friends of the Bush family, will end up will millions of pounds of much deserved and undoubtedly much needed cash.
Wafic Said doesn't have to go pack to flogging kebabs to drunk Londoners on a Saturday night.
Think of the jobs!
"Yankee go home!"
That seems to be the general thrust of the message communicated by Iran's supreme leader Ali Khamenei to Iraqi President Jalal Talabani during
discussions in Tehran.
I wonder how Talabani will translate that for GW.
"Did you invite him? I know I didn't invite him!"
Do you think that the attendees at a First Amendment awards dinner in Vermont looked up at the speaker's table and wondered just what the fuck Newt Gingrich was doing there?
Well if they didn't wonder before he spoke they certainly
wondered afterwards!
Obviously they don't believe in the REAL god
How else can one explain the fact that the Religious Society of Friends (aka the Quakers) have been nominated for an award as the
most gay friendly organisation in the UK. Readers of the
Pink Paper will vote for the award winner over the next month or so.
Go Quakers!
I wonder
Do you think either Bush or Blair now lie awake at night, unable to sleep, wonder "what have I done" and just weep?
Asbestos - good and good for you
At least so the US Occupational Health and Safety Administration (OSHA)
would like you to believe.
The department issued, after six year's work, advice warning automotive workers that asbestos in brakes could be harmful to their health. Three weeks later a former OSHA executive, now working for the auto industry, called for the warnings to be removed but the scientist responsible would not. He was then threatened with suspension if he did not remove the warning. He still did not.
OSHA now wants the health advisory to include reports, unsurprisingly funded by the auto industry, which says that asbestos is cool.
How blatantly in servitude to big business are they willing to be?
God's little acre
So exactly what is a
Christian Real Estate network anyway? Do they sell only to Christians? Buy only from Christians? Discounts only for Christians? What?
Someone should investigate.
Iraq pantomine
Iraq is in the throes of what may be the
worst civil war in half a century. To quote one scholar "there's a consensus...I certainly don't know anyone who argues otherwise at this point."
Well he may not
but I do!
"Oh yes it is!"
"Oh no it isn't!"
The war in Iraq is a failure
We knew that. However Richard Haas opines in
an article in the November/December issue of
Foreign Affairs that it may be a failure in a way that many of us did not anticipate. He suggests that as a direct result of the Iraq war the period of unrivalled American in the Middle East is coming to an end and, although the US will still be the strongest single influence, US hegemony will increasingly be challenged by other states such as China, Russia and, disturbingly, Iran. He also argues that Israeli power is declining and that a viable peace process for the region will not exist in the foreseeable future.
Sad but important reading.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Results of the EU investigation of claims that CIA illegally flew suspects from European airports to secret prisons around the world is
is due to be released at a press conference in Brussels tomorrow afternoon (CET).
The findings, expected to say that the US kidnapped suspects and flew them out of Europe with the full knowledge and complicity of some EU governments, are unlikely to make pleasant reading for the Bush administration or those governments involved.
Details when available.
Join burglars against pornography
News from the great white north that a burglar in the town of Red Deer, Alberta rang police during a break in after finding
a considerable stash of child pornography on the victim's computer. Over 13,000 pornographic images were found on the computer of one William Mitchell, now in custody.
Dennis Prager asks....
28 November - "America, Not Keith Ellison, decides what book a congressman takes his oath on" - Mr. Prager is very angry that new Muslim congressman, Keith Ellison (D MN), is planning to take his oath of office with his hand on a Koran. "He should not be allowed to do so -- not because of any American hostility to the Koran, but because the act undermines American civilization." I wonder how he would feel to find out that should I ever be elected I plan to take my oath with my hand on The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
.
21 November - Why I smoke (cigars) - Mr. Prager is somewhat angry that "anti-smoking" zealots are offended by his cigar smoking, which is neither dangerous nor addictive. "There is no issue of addiction regarding cigars or pipes. I have been smoking both since I was 15 years old, and could stop tomorrow if I wanted to." Right.
14 November - The smugness of the war's opponents - Mr. Prager is very angry that opponents of the Iraq war, who are wrong, are occasionally nearly as smug as he is himself.
7 November - Is a gay who opposes same-sex marriage a hypocrite? - Mr. Prager is angry that someone outed a major Christian leader and opponent of gay marriage as an "alleged" gay. "As defined by every dictionary I consulted, Haggard is not a hypocrite."
31 October - Note to angry Republicans: Stay angry, but vote Republican - in what is a disappointment as a Halloween themed column Mr. Prager is angry at Republicans for being angry at Republican lawmakers who are lying assholes. He accuses them of succumbing to their emotions. "One of the great realizations one comes to as the years pass is how small a role reason plays in most people's decisions."
24 October - A vote for Patty Wetterling can hurt children - Mr. Prager is angry at Patty Wetterling, a then candidate for Congress in Minnesota, because he says that she made have told some untruths (Shock! Horror!) in a campaign ad and therefore America's children are in danger. Frankly I couldn't quite follow the argument.
I think that's enough research. I don't think I could take any more.
My conclusions:
Mr. Prager is very, very angry
Ergo Mr. Prager is an atheist and, by extension, guilty of attempting to deceive honest, God fearing folk into believing that he is an honest Christian.
I'm happy we've cleared that up!
WMD found in Mayfair!
American invasion of London's West End imminent! Bush vows to crush rogue state. Blair vows never to surrender.
It could just be a white Xmas
If only thanks to resourceful and market conscious pharmaceutical exporters in Colombia. The Colombia police arrested two men who were
moulding Father Xmas figures out of the white stuff. They also confiscated "festive cups, place mats and other Christmas decorations" made out of a cocaine based resin.
Not to worry. I'm sure some got through!
US Supreme Court v climate change
I can only imagine
how this will turn out.
I wonder if the bookies will take a bet on 5-4 for the automakers.
The design delusion
Yesterday's
Guardian article on the increasing use of "Intelligent Design" materials within the science curriculum of British schools causes a
torrent of letters today. Most of which prove that advocates of this so-called "scientific theory" understand neither science nor the scientific method. A few samples:
The undeniable fact that Darwin's theory has never been proved is not generally addressed because the theory has been given the status of holy writ. - Alick Bartholomew - Bath
To put Darwinism beyond the reach of criticism is, it seems to me, the worst type of fundamentalism - John Ratcliffe - Ripon, North Yorkshire
Where is the evidence that teaching intelligent design or even creationism in schools, alongside Darwinian theory, does any damage at all? Arguing from evidence is surely important in any scientific discussion; why abandon it here? - John Hallett - Nottingham
Berlusconi has a heart!
And it appears to have attacked him. Is it just a coincidence that the sudden attack happened just a day before
his trial on charges of tax fraud was do to open? The trial has now been adjourned.
It's a fucking shame. It really is.
News comes to us from America that CBS and Fox have both filed suits contesting the FCC's current regime regulating
the use of language and portrayals of sex on broadcast television. Both suits hinge on First Amendment free speech arguments.
The FCC responded that both networks are out of touch with America thereby implying that the FCC is somehow in touch with America. You figure it out.
They also said, specifically in relation to the Fox action,
“By continuing to argue that it is okay to say the F-word and the S-word on television whenever it wants, Hollywood is demonstrating once again how out of touch it is with the American people.”
Done and dusted I'd say.
If "Fox" is the F-word what is the S-word?
Bad news for Al Gore
As part of its hundred birthday celebration the Environment Agency has asked campaigners to name the hundred top eco-warriors of all time.
The Guardian publishes the list today.
The former US Vice President (and elected non-President) does come in at a respectable number nine. However that means that he is two positions behind the heir to the British throne, Prince Chuck.
At number one, and deservedly so, is Rachael Carson whose
trail blazing book, Silent Spring
effectively launched the environmental cause.
Who'll get custody of the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man?
The
Torygraph ran a poll at the weekend that shows that the
majority of British voters want some sort of devolution or split up of the "United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland". A higher percentage of English than Scottish voters want Scotland to get its independence.
We'll need a new name, a new flag, a new a national anthem.
Ideally if this is to occur it should be done all at once with the UK breaking up into four nations and ditching the German royal family all at the same time. (Hey look it's going to happen. Can you imagine living in the realm of King Chuck the First?) Otherwise it will go on forever and cost a fortune in new flags and passports.
Imagine that Scotland gets its independence first and monarchy is retained by the balance of the country. The issues that the newly independent Scotland will face will be easy enough to resolve; they've already got a flag, the country will be the Republic of Scotland, Hadrian's Wall will be rebuilt (this time by the Scots) and all they will have to do is pick a national anthem.
For what is left of the UK the problems will be more difficult.
"The Slightly-Less-United-Than-Before Kingdom of Less Than Great Britain and Northern Ireland" is a bit of tongue twister.
The What's-Left-of-the-Union Flag (it should only be called the "Union Jack" if it is on a ship) without the St. Andrew's Cross will be a little lacklustre.
We can keep the anthem if we keep the Queen. No one likes it anyway.
At least the national football teams are already sorted but if Wales becomes independent we'll have to break up the England and Wales Cricket Board. (Are there any Welsh players in the side anyway?)
At least the confusion over nationality in the UK will be sorted out for once and for all. At the moment if you ask a UK citizen what nationality they are they are most likely to reply "English", "Scottish", "Welsh" or "Irish". About the only folks who describe themselves as British are the Northern Irish Protestants and citizens of Asian or Afro-Caribbean descent.
As I type* this....
....I can barely see the monitor as I am sitting in a reclined position at 135◦ as newly recommended by people who know these things in order to
avoid back pain.
So all of you who have been sitting ramrod straight all your lives because that's what Mum told you to do kick back and relax!
(*Note: should we still call it typing? When was the last time you used a typewriter? Of couse we still call using a phone "dialing" and floppy discs haven't been floppy in ages.)
Fast forward
Dateline Oslo 28 November 2010
A spokesman for the Norwegian Nobel Committee which is responsible for naming the annual Nobel Peace Prize has announced that the prize is to be permanently retired. The annual gong has not been awarded since 2006 and the unnamed spokesman said that the committee had agreed, after long deliberation and in consultation with the Storting, that there was "no longer any point in even looking for anyone remotely deserving". The monies set aside for the prize are to be used for one big Xmas piss up for the committee members and their families after which they shall retire to specially prepared bunkers near the Arctic Circle where they will quietly await end days.
In other news the
Rapture Index has reached a new all time high of 217, 8 below the maximum.
Auntie gets poached
The BBC is in turmoil today after the news that its chairman,
Michael Grade, has resigned and is due to take up the helm at ITV. The timing is particularly bad in that it comes due the negotiation over the increase of the annual TV license fee.
I'm sure that the Beeb will survive this latest setback but given its current state of affairs I am less sure about ITV, at least in its present configuration.
They used to call it plagarism
I guess if you're Winston Churchill then it is downgraded to
"borrowing".
More like two civil wars and one something else
King Abdullah of Jordan warns the world that by the beginning of next year there could be
three civil wars in the Middle East but then he's counting Iraq as a civil war and we have been reasonably informed by the British, American and Australian governments that that is not what it is. (They've yet to actually explain exactly what state Iraq is in at the moment.)
In addition to Lebanon he counts the Israeli - Palestinian conflict as a civil war when we all know that it is a 100% justified internal security operation.
I mean he just lives there. We shouldn't expect him to know more than a clutch of pundits smug and warm, er, I meant SNUG and warm, in a Washington studio!
"Peace on Earth, goodwill towards men" (void where prohibited by by-laws)
If you're a hippie with a peace symbol on your rucksack or Cindy Sheehan you would do well to avoid Pagosa Springs, Colorado this Xmas season. Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association has sacked all five members of the association’s architectural control committee after they unanimously refused to compel a resident to
remove a wreath in the shape of a peace sign. He is now threatening to fine the woman twenty five dollars a day until she complies.
In the spirit of the season I would like to wish you Merry Xmas anyway Bob!
My country needs me (apparently)
Just for fun I went and took the CIA's personality quiz. They think I am an Innovative Pioneer! I think they want me to sign up.
Do you reckon they'll come looking for me? Do you think they know where I am? Hey, who's that at the door?
We interrupt this post for some light music. Yank in London should resume shortly.
I was pretty clever when I was young
However it is quite possble that I wasn't
this clever.
Designed in Washington - assembled in Iraq
Before the American invasion Iraq wasn't capable of or interested in exporting Islamic revolution. However the Iraq insurgency is
not dependent on funding from outside the country and may, in fact, have surplus funds that could be used to support terrorist groups outside of the country. At least that is what the US government thinks and wishes to keep secret.
I wonder what the state secret is here. Perhaps it is that the war isn't going quite as well as they wish us to believe.
War breaks out all over
Islamists in Somalia and the Ethiopian government are close to clashing
in what will likely become a regional war in East Africa. The Ethiopian President has now said that he will not seek Western approval before attacking the paramilitary forces in the neighbouring country.
Good. Just in time for Xmas then.
Too late for Milo
In
Joseph Heller's Catch-22
Milo Minderbender is the enterprising mess officer who is making a killing in the black market until he corners the Egyptian cotton market. Unfortunately there is a glut of cotton and he becomes desperate to find a way to unload the stuff. He tries, unsuccessfully, to cover it in cotton and feed it to his men.
Now researchers from Texas A&M University believe that they have developed a genetic engineering technique that
would make the toxic seeds edible by humans thereby creating a potentially large new food source.
This is what genetic engineering should be used for not for making corn that allows farmers to dump more herbicide into the soil!
Rice safe! America saved!
In a move sure to shock no one Bayer's genetically engineered rice crop, LL601, has received
USDA approval.
This is good news for everyone who has been eating it for an unknown period and now know that they are 100% safe. Bayer had not originally sought approval for the rice after a limited trial but got expedited approval after it was found to be in general rice stocks after experimental controls obviously failed. The company is facing a number of law suits. Good luck!
By the way the long grain rice sold in my local Sainsbury’s now comes from Uruguay rather than America!
It's probably just because they're loud...
...that the AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) has booked Rod Stewart, Elton John and Earth, Wind & Fire
to play at their annual convention.
It is certainly not because anyone of my generation or near my generation is old enough to be a member.
Don't forget to bring extra batteries for your hearing aids!
When freedom isn't free
The government is planning to proceed with measures to
significantly alter the Freedom of Information Act without the public consultation which was promised to Parliament by a government minister. The plans as currently conceived would make it simpler for the government to reject requests on the grounds of expense.
The act is only two years old. So much for open government. We didn't really believe them, did we?
...and on the eighth day God made DVDs
Once again we find the UK stumbling down a path forged by the US. A number of British schools are using teaching materials that promote
"intelligent design" in their science curriculum. The government has already stated that these materials, provided to the schools by the optimistically named
Truth in Science organisation, are inappropriate for use. The DVDs are sourced from the US and features members of the Discovery Institute of Seattle.
This is clearly not going to help the PM in trying to boost his legacy through his new found
love of science.
Clearly Richard Dawkins
has his work cut out for him.
The thirty nine shots
Thirty nine shots. Ten seconds. That's all it took for the NY Police to
kill an unarmed man on Saturday. The dead man, twenty three year old Sean Bell, was due to be married later in the day. What can one say?
I just wonder who will save marriage from the New York police....
Harbouring terrorists
In the execution of the "war on terra" both Britain and the US have threatened so-called rogue states that harbour terrorists with dire consequences.
I can't wait to see the retaliation they will take upon themselves for
harbouring Salah Abdallah "Gosh" the head of the Sudanese secret police who is accused of being complicit in the murder of 300,000 of his countrymen and Osama bin Laden's former best buddy.
Mr. Abdallah has spent time in the US at Langley as recently as last year and in Britain where he has come for medical treatment twice in the past nine months on official visas. The UN has included Mr. Abdallah as one of seventeen Sudanese officials on whom sanctions should be imposed.
Will Tony bid farewell in disgrace?
Could Tony Blair lose his seat in Parliament over Honourgate (aka loans-for-peerages)? There are those who believe that the answer is yes. Under a law that, ironically, the Blair government brought in itself, he would
be required to resign his seat if he was found not to have told the truth to or withheld information from the party treasurer about the financing arrangements.
It's just too sweet to contemplate, isn't it? So much for the historic legacy!
Not so different from the old boss
Meet the newly nominated candidate for the position of US Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates. It's a good thing that he's to run the War Department because he is not exactly
a man of peace nor does he seem to have much of a knowledge of or respect for international law.
When he was at the CIA in the 1980s he advocated "dealing" with the Sandinista government in Nicaragua in a four point plan that entailed:
US air strikes "to destroy a considerable portion of Nicaragua's military build-up".
Warning Cuba and the USSR that the US would not allow further weapons deliveries to the Nicaraguan government.
Tougher economic sanctions including a naval blockade
Switching diplomatic recognition from the legitimately elected government to the rag tag band of right wingers and oligarchs that comprised the so-called "contra".
It is good to see that we are likely to be pursuing a new and independent course in Iraq then.
Hey! I'm normal!
I have long considered myself horribly absent minded and spend many an hour searching through my small flat for keys, money, wallet, phone, book et cetera et cetera. My method for finding this lost items, which are never to be found in the same place twice, is seemingly random and often ineffective.
Science has leapt to my aid by acknowledging that
this is a perfectly normal human behaviour known as the "Levy flight". I am no different than a memeber of the Ju/'hoansi tribe searching for mongongo nuts!
That's made me feel much better!
Now where have I put my cup of tea?
The plot thickens
I hope none of you had lunch or drinks in any of the places frequented by the late Russian ex-spy Alexander Litvinenko at the beginning of the month. If you think you did I suggest that
you ring the authorities.
What is clear so far is that Mr. Litvinenko was
poisoned with a fairly rare and incredibly toxic radioactive isotope known as polonium 210. The ingestion of even a tiny amount of this substance leads to almost certain death.
What is unclear is who killed him and why. Suspects include:
Mr. Litvinenko himself although his motivation is unclear unless the death were accidental.
Russian security forces under the direction of President Vladimir Putin
Russian security forces loyal to but not under the direction of Putin
Russian opposition forces, inside or outside the security services, who wish to damage Putin by implicating him in this crime
Will we ever know? Probably not with absolute certainty. (Can we say we know who killed Jack or Bobby Kennedy with absolute certainty?)
India reverts to type
We, in the West, have begun to think of India as an emerging progressive society with dramatically improved education and a force in the economic world. We generally conveniently forget that much of the country still has an awfully long way to go.
This story of a fifteen year old woman of the Dalit (untouchable) caste who was raped and insisted on a case being opened against her attacker. The problems were that a) she was a Dalit and b) he accused attacker was from an upper caste. She said that the man had threatened to kill her unless she dropped the case.
Last week a man broke into her home at night, doused her in kerosene and burned her alive. Her upper caste neighbours refused to take her to hospital and she subsequently died of her injuries.
In India as a whole there has been no outrage over and little coverage of her killing.
So, if you are so inclined, remember Asha Katiya in your prayers.
US meddling aids the enemy!
The interference of US anti-terror forces in August that triggered a series of arrests in Britain before the security services were prepared to act led to the
escape of at least one terrorist cell. The US forced Pakistani forces to arrest a UK citizen over the objections of the British government and forced the hand of the UK authorities.
Yet another victory in the "war on terra".
Lunatic batters down the asylum gates
Northern Irish politics has always had more than its fair share of lunatics and madmen but I have to congratulate the loyalist lunatic, Michael Stone, for his
absurd attempt on Friday to derail the current attempts to restate the devolved government. Anyone that can make Ian Paisley appear normal is a true genius!
It would seem that even his
former friends at the UDA (Ulster Defence Association) thought he was dangerously unsettled and sent out four hit squads to prevent him from getting to Stormont. Showing their true ineptness they failed and only the unarmed security guards prevented him from bombing Gerry Adams and others.
Interesting a current Google news search for
"michael stone" returns 1,060 hits, a search for
"michael stone" + paramilitary returns 395 hits whilst a search for
"michael stone" + terrorist returns only 10 and one for
"michael stone" + terror only returns 6.
In contrast
"gerry adams" + terrorist gets 252 hits.
BA and the cross
British Airways has
apparently caved under pressure from the CofE over the row with an employee who was suspended over violations of the airline's uniform code. Nadia Eweida remains under suspension for wearing a visible crucifix on a chain. Current BA policy forbids the wearing of personal jewellery that is visible. Ms. Eweida openly wore the Christian symbol and refused to remove it and was subsequently suspended.
Ms. Eweida denies making that she is making a political statement whilst ironically making the political statement that
"Jesus has to be glorified. I am not politically motivated or minded, I just follow the Biblical truth."
BA has announced that it would review its policy and allow the wearing of small religious symbols as lapel badges an offer that the woman
has seemingly rejected.
One wonders how open this new policy will be. Will they allow the wearing of Wican symbols for instance or the peace symbol if one's religious or philosophical beliefs demand pacifism. Meanwhile I am sure that the wing nuts are congratulating themselves about their victory over evil and Godless Mammon.
Crisis! What crisis?
I just noticed that the
Reuter AlertNet homepage has a neat little feature. Under "Emergencies" there is a little menu box from which you can select from one hundred and two global crises; everything from "Aceh peace" to "Zimbabwe hunger". There is even one I was completely unaware of
Chikungunya . It is it turns out a mosquito borne virus).
102. That's depressing and I'm sure they've missed a few as well.
Object to this!
You're in the Army or, as in this case, the Marines.
You have an epiphany and you realise that you cannot continue to serve without violating your own philosophical and / or religious principles so you apply for conscientious objector status.
You are "interviewed by a military chaplain, examined by a psychiatrist, and questioned by a hearing officer who recommended C.O. status and immediate separation".
Ergo
the Marines deploy you to Iraq.
I hope he lives to tell and, even more importantly, isn't required to kill whilst the government is fighting in court what their representatives have said that they should do.
Peace on Earth, goodwill towards men (but not Swedish women)
A nineteen year old Swedish woman, Tove Johansson, who was working with the International Solidarity Movement in Hebron was
badly beaten by Jewish extremists whilst escorting Palestinian children home from school on 18 November. The Israeli Defense Force, which was in the area at the time, did not intervene. Ms. Johansson is still in hospital with a broken cheekbone.
The Swedish government
has complained to the Israeli government about the lack of a proper investigation.
Fortunately David Wilder, who is a spokesman for the (illegal) Jewish community of Hebron, has written
an open letter to the Swedish ambassador which explains everything. Allow me to summarise Mr. Wilder's seven key points as follows:
1.) We are non-violent to the best of our ability.
2.) There have been foreign organisations in Hebron for over a year and we haven't been very violent towards them.
3.) If this incident actually happened it mush have been outside agitators - not us!
4.) Ms. Johansson and her fellow provocateurs were asked to leave the area before the incident occurred (if it occurred) and they didn't. Also it was the Sabbath and Ms. Johansson et al were taking pictures and if they hadn't the incident which may or may not have occurred would not have occurred.
5.) Jews didn't kill Jesus and they didn't say so either.
6.) After the beating, which may or may not have occurred Ms. Johansson was given first aid.
7.) If anyone actually beat Ms. Johansson they were obviously and cruelly provoked by "ultra-extremist anti-Israel and anti-Jewish organizations". We cannot justify unnecessary violence so if there was violence and we have to justify it then it was by definition justified. If the Swedish Foreign Ministry would only make their provocative, anti-Jewish citizens leave then any acts of violence that might or might not take place in the future won't take place because the victims would not be available for violence to happen to them.
Shalom.
Cleanliness is next to dead
A man in Fort Worth, Texas (why is it always Texas?) got upset with a fellow patron in a bar who refused to wash his hands after taking a pee. So he hid in the car park, waited until the bloke came out
and stabbed him. Three times. With an eight inch knife.
The man obviously takes his ablutions seriously.
First the good news
Israeli expert says that President Bush has no credibility and
can't launch a military attack on Iran.
Now the bad news - since when has Bush listened to experts?
(Oh - the expert also says that Israel could go it alone.)
So long as they don't try sneaking into America
The International Organization for Migrations, a UN group, says that
1,000 Iraqis a day are being driven from their homes by the internecine warfare enveloping their country. The total is over a quarter of a million since February of this year.
Should they get to America I am sure that they will be treated fairly and not determined to be economic migrants. Right?
Shorter Charles Krauthammer
"Americans can't be anti-Semitic. Only Europeans and Muslims can."
The spirit of bipartisanship
Perhaps for the next two years in the US we can expect at least a modicum of oversight from the new Congress. At least there are
hopeful signs.
Get your veto out!
Faced with the prospect of two years of a hostile Congress I can say with reasonable assurance that Dubya will use his veto a great deal more often than the once he has managed so far.
It seems that the
pharmacutecal companies already have a candidate in mind. Glad to see they are keeping an open mind and waiting until any legislation is actually written.
When London makes a tougher mayor - nature makes a tougher pigeon
Maybe it because of Ken Livingstone's war against
the pigeons that haunt Trafalgar Square but I think the birds are, in general, getting tougher. It's not as if they were exactly wimps to begin with.
I just saw one eating the mortar out of an old brick wall. Really!
Two steps back
Russia, hardly a bastion of woman's rights to begin with, is preparing to slide further backwards with proposed legislation that
ban a married woman from getting an abortion unless she has the her husband's consent.
One more reason to stay single I reckon.
Trident the soon to be lost opportunity
The British nuclear “deterrent” is based around the Trident missile which is nearing the end of its useful life. The government has promised an open debate on the replacement but the cabinet is swiftly moving into
an entrenched position that will call for a submarine based replacement costing in the neighbourhood of twenty five billions pounds or more.
Twenty five billion pounds is a significant amount of money to spend on a weapons system; one that will not function as a deterrent to rogue states or terrorist groups, one that must never be used; one which Britain (along with Russia, France, China and the US) has an obligation to do away with under the non-proliferation treaty.
What better example could Britain make to the world at large as to how to make the world safer than to resign its charter membership in the nuclear club? There will be considerable benefit to the taxpayer as well.
Unfortunately it would appear to be an opportunity that will be spurned.
Murdoch et fils
Today’s
Guardian features
a profile of James Murdoch, son of Rupert and chairman of Britain’s BSkyB.
It’s headline, “He's an immensely likeable person and that does seem slightly counter to what you'd expect”, is a quote from an unattributed colleague. The underlying message in the quote is, of course, that his is Dad is a (not so) little shit. Hardly news but interesting.
Another victim of man?
The Yangtze baiji, not to be confused with an
onion bhaji, is (or was) a fresh water dolphin that lives in the Yangtze River and its tributaries and numbers amongst the oldest fresh water mammals. Unfortunately it may already
be extinct. The effects of massive pollution, brutal fishing techniques (dynamite and electrocution amongst them) and the basic push of mankind into its habitat may have proved too much. Scientists are scouring the river in search of extant specimens but it has been two years since any have been seen in the wild.
Here's hoping.
You can find out more at
baiji.org.
Just a problem in execution
The noble neocon experiment that is today's Iraq isn't
going so well at the moment. Not to worry.
The neocons speak with but one voice.
"Our idea was brilliant. Bush is to blame."
Something about rats and sinking ships lingers in the dark recesses of my mind.
Making the homeless even more homeless in sunny California
I hereby suspend my opposition to the death penalty. I am now in favour of it as a punishment for the
heartless and witless Fresno officials who approved these raids before some liberal, activist judge stopped them!
How to ruin a serviceman's or servicewoman's Thanksgiving
Make her or him talk to
the President.
Unfortunately the story doesn't tell us what percentage hung up on him.
My secret plan to retain The Ashes
Draw, draw and draw again.
Also pray for rain; lots and lots of rain!
It's not Thanksgiving everywhere
145 dead in Iraq.
7 dead in Gaza.
Botched hostage rescue in Nigeria -
British worker dead.
Darfur is crumbling.
Dick Cheney hasn't had a heart attack
in Baghdad or anywhere else.
In my name and in yours
As long as this goes on we are all responsible.
(via
COA News)
This looks like fun. It's a shame I'm so far from Salt Lake City.
I have a new hero and he's an Aussie as well.
Meet John Safran.
Ouch (II)
I can't begin to imagine how
this monk's penis managed to get from Thailand to
South Africa on its own! It's like
Incredible Journey
except with body parts!
Not-so-strange bedfellows
A day in the life of lethal force
A ninety two year old woman lives alone in a house in Atlanta.
As is the woman's
God given right the woman owns a pistol.
The police try to break down her door to execute a search warrant for drugs.
Woman (who probably doesn't hear all that well) shoots five cops.
Cops shoot woman.
Ninety two year old woman isn't going to make ninety three.
Guns don't kill people. Search warrants do.
Macaca's revenge
Planning a trip to Washington DC for a quiet stroll along the Mall, perhaps to enjoy the cherry blossoms come springtime? If soon to be ex-Senator George "Macaca" Allen gets his way in his final days you shouldn't forget to
pack your heat! Shortly after going down to defeat in the midterm elections he introduced legislation that would allow the carrying of concealed weapons in National Parks. The legislation makes no distinction between wilderness and urban areas. (In my mind the distinction is unnecessary as you shouldn't be able to carry them anywhere!) You will even be able to carry them in
Whiskeytown which doesn't strike me as wise.
This early Xmas present has warmed the cockles of
gun nuts everywhere!
For a list of places where you may soon be able to stuff a rod in your pants
look here.
A day in life of "non-lethal" force
A seventeen year old mentally disturbed man walks down a street carrying a Bible and calling out to Jesus.
Police shoot man with Taser gun (twice).
Man dies.
Jesus weeps.
Giving thanks
Today is Thanksgiving (a fact which I had forgotten until I logged on this morning). We don't get much sense of it here. It is frankly a holiday about which I have long held misgivings as it celebrates, in its way, what is effectively the beginning of a two or three century long campaign of genocide.
Apparently some
schoolteachers in America share my ambivalence and are trying to be a bit more sensitive to the other side. I eagerly await the chorus of right wing disdain, scorn and outrage.
I didn't have to
wait very long.
Try not to eat too much!
Don't forget to say your prayers
Unless you are booked on
US Airways. Oh, and you are Muslim. One of the members of the groups barred from the flight for "flying whilst Asian" was (I assume he has cancelled his membership as of now) even a member of their frequent flyer programme and had been upgraded to first class.
They sure know how to treat repeat customers.
"The President can bomb anybody he likes" (or actually who he doesn't like)
Signalling what could be the advent of a new and humble American president it appears that George Bush has begun to plan ahead. More and more intelligence analysts now believe that he
plans to bomb Iran next year.
How does he sleep at night? Hell, how
do I sleep at night?
Ouch.....
I'm absent minded. I'm constantly roaming about the flat looking for keys, money, book, paper etc.
Nonetheless I have never
mislaid my willy!
Appropriate uses of EU veto power
So many EU countries tend to waste their veto power in the European Union on silly things like defence, immigration and foreign policy.
It is good to see that the Czechs, even though relatively new to the EU, understand that the veto should not be wasted and should be reserved for the truly important things in life such as ensuring that
beer tax doesn't go up!
Crises in Congo - Congo has nuclear plant
The Democratic Republic of Congo is a country that is teetering on the edge of a return to its long, bloody civil war. The newly elected president, Joseph Kabila, has delivered an ultimatum to UN peacekeeping forces that they have
forty eight hours to remove the forces of his rival, Jean-Pierre Bemba, out of Kinshasa or he would order the army to do so.
In light of these events don't you think that we should be a little more than worried
about this?
"I'm going to the loo. Will you watch my handbag for ten minutes?"
One would think that if one were the child of a President of the United States of America who, no matter where one goes, is surrounded by agents from the Secret Service that one would not have to worry about one's handbag.
One would
be wrong.
Reports that young Bush, who was not identified as either Jemma or not-Jemma, was missing a favourite fake ID, several airplane bottles of vodka, several condoms and
a pet rabbit have yet to be confirmed.
Green zone now too dangerous
It would seem that even the so-called massively defended "Green Zone" in Baghdad has become too dangerous for such an important personage as
the worst president ever. Mr. Bush wants to meet with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki next week but must have decided that al-Maliki's place was too much of a dump so he's meeting him in
Amman, Jordan instead.
(Note for those of you at home: Amman used to be known as
Philadelphia!)
Am I becoming a Tory....
...or is David Cameron becoming me? There's no doubt there are lots of things on which do not now, and probably never will, agree.
However yesterday Mr. Cameron was on form, in my opinion at least. First he called the government out over its
inaction on the Darfur crisis and then he quite rightly accused the government of
playing politics with security.
I wonder how I will look in blue.
Father may I have "something for the weekend"?
Is it to late to buy
Durex? Yesterday they announced a significant increase in sales on the strength of their new sex toy product line and now today it seems that the Vatican may soon
change its stance on condom use.
There are many who will undoubtedly interpret this as a sign of liberalisation in the Roman Catholic Church but I am sure that it is just enlightened self interest. After all this will help to protect priests from picking up STDs from altar boys and therefore reduce the church's medical costs.
Surprisingly, as of 11AM they are done slightly on the day. Let me call my broker.
Is this a timetable I see before me?
In a move sure to upset their American friends HM Government, in the form of Foreign Secretary Margaret Beckett, has said that it is likely the British troops will turn over control of the south of the country to the Iraqis
by spring.
Just to make sure that she wasn't misinterpreted she specifically said that this was neither cutting and running or an announcement of a timetable for a withdrawal but rather were "just some words coming out of my mouth".
I wonder if she had a call from Jim Baker.
Note to the Americans
If you plan on starting a war in, say, five years times don't count on
the British military for backup.
Heh, heh, heh!
This probably won't go over well in the Hassidic community.
Has anyone seen the Halfoat family?
As a kid I certainly romanticised the life of the Native American (then known as Indians) picturing a life of complete and utter freedom on the open plain.
Boy was I wrong and it didn't take me long to realise it either. The life of a Native American, then and now, wasn't something to aspire to.
But guess what? It
still sucks!
NASA scientist calls for Exxon boycott
At least that’s the way I read the quote from Dr. James Hansen in
this article. Dr. Hansen was awarded the WWFs top conservation award. While working for NASA he was one of the first to identify and highlight the potential causes of and risks of global warming. He featured prominently in An Inconvenient Truth.
He criticises the “scientists” in the employ of ExxonMobil and also the companies adverts including one that crows:
"They call it pollution, we call it life"
He goes on to say that
"It is time to stop patronising that company."
NASA scientist calls for Exxon boycott
At least that’s the way I read the quote from Dr. James Hansen in
this article. Dr. Hansen was awarded the WWFs top conservation award. While working for NASA he was one of the first to identify and highlight the potential causes of and risks of global warming. He featured prominently in An Inconvenient Truth.
He criticises the “scientists” in the employ of ExxonMobil and also the companies adverts including one that crows:
"They call it pollution, we call it life"
He goes on to say that
"It is time to stop patronising that company."
I'm afraid to look...
...so I wish someone else would check on Ebay to see if there's a purloined copy of the now pulled OJ book on sale there yet.
Sex sells
I knew I should have invested
in Durex. I mean the business could only go up, right?
It's a good thing he doesn't have a Muslim name
Because if he did I'm sure he'd have been whisked off to parts unknown ages ago. I'm talking about Thiago (Thiago? that doesn't sound very American to me) Olson, a Michigan teenager.
Since he's "clean cut", white, probably middle class and on the cross country team at high school the US Department of Homeland Security doesn't seem to be bothered that he is
creating nuclear fusion in his basement.
I think it's wrong that Iran, which is a large country, isn't allowed fission and this spotty adolescent is getting away with fusion.
In praise of....
...the older chimpette.
Researchers have discovered that male chimpanzees prefer an
older, fuller figured female as a mate.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Don’t forget that Friday is “Save Wal-Mart from the Pooftahs” Day
I know you’d probably rather go shopping or play golf or just head down to the corner tavern for a couple of brewskies but sometimes you just have to think of the greater good and forget what you want to do.
So this Friday, Black Friday,
do something for your country. Go stand in front of your local Wal-Mart and heckle anyone who looks even remotely camp (if male) or tough (if female). This may be your last chance to save marriage from the forces of darkness!
Should they stay or should they go?
100% of Israeli settlements on the West Bank and in East Jerusalem are illegal in the eyes of international law. We all knew that didn’t we?
Now for the new news. 39% of Israeli settlements on the West Bank are on land that is
legally owned by Palestinians. Do two illegalities make a legality?
I think not. I say “evict ‘em”.
“So why exactly did you leave the Navy son?”
“They said I
wasn’t racist enough sir.”
Matthew 5:9
I can see it now. Early December 2008. While Laura is working with the removers to pack up the Bush family china and both of George's books for the move back to Crawford the soon-to-be-ex-President is sitting in the Oval office watching the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony from Oslo. He is a bitter man. After all he has done to, er, for world peace he has been passed over and his blood pressure rises as he sees Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Bashar al-Assad step forward to accept the award.
They were chosen after their
November 2006 summit with the then bitterly divided Iraqi government led to the end of the civil war and insurgency in Iraq. The normalisation of
relations between Iraq and Syria was soon followed by the establishment of a free trade zone encompassing first of all of the middle east (including Israel and Palestine) and subsequently Africa, many former Soviet Republics, the Indian subcontinent, Malaysia, Indonesia and nearly all of Africa. (It should be obvious that this bloc also controls a great deal of the world's oil supply!) Peace broke out all over. (The combined Isaeli / Palestinean football side is waiting for approval from UEFA and FIFA to enter the upcoming World and European cup competitions!)
George is going home a bitter man and the is no legacy for Laura to pack.
If I published it
Rupert Murdoch gets lots of opportunities to eat his words but rarely avails himself of them. So we should take a moment and truly savour his
his decision to neither air the OJ Simpson how-I-would-have-killed-her TV extravaganza or to publish the supporting do-it-yourself manual.
It is a shame really because
Roxanne and some others were launching a campaign to browbeat the publisher, Judith Regan, into donating the proceeds to abused women. Let's not waste their effort. We can still email her and inform her, as if she doesn't know deep down, what an idiot she was in the first place.
"I'll be in the garden shed darling. I'm just knocking a submarine together."
There are lots of creative ways to smuggle drugs. You can swallow little balloons full of them, you can hide them in shipping containers, you can tunnel under the border or you can
build yourself a submarine.
I can assure you that I will never want money bad enough to attempt any journey in a submarine that I, or indeed anyone I know, was responsible for constructing.
Bad news for Mark Foley
(Has there been any good news for the poor man lately?) In Franco Zeffirelli's soon to be released autobiography he relates how he was
molested by a priest when he was at school but in his words homosexual experiences at a young age
"are not always bad for boys. I don't think they make you homosexual. Sexual choice is made for you early on in life anyway - if you like girls, you like girls."
I guess you just didn't like girls then Mark. Of course Zeffirelli is gay himself.
Bad news for Mark Foley
(Has there been any good news for the poor man lately?) In Franco Zeffirelli's soon to be released autobiography he relates how he was
molested by a priest when he was at school but in his words homosexual experiences at a young age
"are not always bad for boys. I don't think they make you homosexual. Sexual choice is made for you early on in life anyway - if you like girls, you like girls."
I guess you just didn't like girls then Mark. Of course Zeffirelli is gay himself.
Going David Blaine one better!
Authorities at a South African prison have learned that just because an inmate has asked for a jar of Vaseline it doesn't necessarily mean that
he's taken a fancy to the geezer in the top bunk.
Nonetheless the escape sounds pretty impressive. He was shackled, he broke two bullet proof windows and squeezed out between bars after lubing himself up. This was a guy who seriously did not like confinement!
You go big. You go long and I'll hit one of you behind the Mazda.
There are signs that George Bush is already shying away from the Baker option. Perhaps last week's
Newsweek "Father Knows Best"
cover story about the President relying on Dad and Dad's mates having to bail him out again had something to do with it.
Yesterday the
Washington Post reported details of a new Pentagon strategy document that seems to offer a confusing
plethora of options. Sounding a bit like the quarterback in a game of street (American) football there are three primary approaches on offer:
"Go big" - send more American troops to Iraq until they outnumber the native Iraqis and Halliburton has built more McDonalds, Burger Kings and Pizza Huts than there are halal butcher shops.
"Go long" - send some American troops home but those that remain stay longer thereby justifying the expense of building those
not-so-temporary military bases.
"Go home - your dinner's almost ready" - aka "cut and run" - fuck off out of there and now - the option seemingly preferred by the majority of Americans and is therefore likely to be ignored by their leaders.
Just plain Scilly
This must surely be the only football league in Britain without promotion or demotion. The Isles of Scilly, pop. 2000, are home to the country's
smallest football league. The league has just two teams which play thirteen matches a year and also have two cup competitions. One has to ask why as both sides make the final of both competitions every year!
Of course, in the tradition of great amateur leagues everywhere, they do retire for a few pints and general camaraderie afterwards.
All hail Ryan Howard!
I may have lived in Britain for fourteen years and developed a taste for football (played with the feet!) and cricket but I still miss baseball. Today brings glad tidings.
It's been a long time (twenty years) since the Phillies had an MVP but from what little I've seen of him
Ryan Howard richly deserves the award. In that time I have gotten married, gotten divorced and emigrated to another country.
I sincerely hope that this bodes well for the future and maybe, just maybe, they can perhaps build a team around him. The power is excellent but it is the batting average that proves to me, at least, that is the real thing. As a third generation Phillies supporter if there are one or two things I have learned it is patience and a healthy dose of fatalism.
Time will tell of course but I remain unrealistically optimistic.
Shag for peace!
As someone who has long advocated radical means to achieve peace in this troubled world I am willing to go to almost any extreme if I feel it will advance the cause even a little.
You should not, therefore, be surprised that I am even willing to go so far as
to have sex (to orgasm!).
Veteran activists Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffel want to coordinate a "global orgasm for peace" on 22 December. (I'm a bit dubious about this as it is nigh on impossible to get two people to come at the same time let alone millions.)
In any case you can found out more at their surprisingly safe-for-work website
www.globalorgasm.org.
No one should get nervous or anxious about this. If you’re a bit rusty and out of shape you still have over a month to practice. Novices welcome! Remember it's for the good of mankind!
What Harriet Harmen said to the deputy US Ambassador (an imaginary monologue)
"We don't like it you kill our soldiers. Please stop. Oh, and you couldn't possibly send a couple of your chaps round to have a word with our coroner, could you? He's getting quite testy because they never show up. It would make Tony look frightfully bad if something doesn't happen and when Tony looks bad then you're boss's boss's boss looks bad.
"Do you fancy some tea? I have a lovely Darjeeling you know.
"And before you go old chap Ken would like to know when you're going to
settle your account re the congestion charge. He says he can't leave it open forever. He takes Visa, MasterCard and Maestro but not American Express or Diner's Club."
Who would Jesus torture?
Why do Presbyterians want the
terrorists to win? Two separate groups from that denomination plan to host a conference next year to call on the American government to ensure that all of their prisoners are treated fairly and humanely. To quote the Reverend Carol Wickersham, one of the conference organisers, "as people of faith and patriots we must say no to torture".
So whose side is God on anyway?
Good news for science
The British Department of Education and Skills has announced that
creationism can have no place in the teaching of science. Full stop. End of discussion.
Charles Darwin will be well pleased.
Climate talks end in failure
U.S. largely to blame. Quelle surprise!
Last week's climate talks in Nairobi ended in no real movement on any issues and the US position continues to be the biggest, if not the only, stumbling block. In order to demonstrate the spirit of openness and compromise that the American team brought to the talks I quote from Paula Dobriansky, head of the US delegation:"
The president is very committed to the policy and strategy which he has set forth...there are absolutely no plans to change current policy towards emissions"
I'm sure someone, somewhere has calculated the tonnes of CO2 emissions that were wasted just in air travel for delegates in order to accomplish absolutely nothing.
A lottery no one will want to win
I have mixed emotions about Charles Rangel's call for a
reinstatement of the military draft. Although too young for Vietnam I trained and acted as a draft counsellor for several years, helping those so inclined find legitimate (and illegitimate) means to avoid induction. I never registered myself even though they'd stopped drafting by the time I turned eighteen. Fortunately I was pardoned for this transgression by Jimmy Carter.
I do think that the risk that their own children might have to serve in future wars will temper the enthusiasm of many in the electorate. It might have kept us out of Iraq. John Kerry's failed attempt at humour notwithstanding it is disproportionately the economically disadvantaged that make up the bulk of the "volunteer" army. No matter what we do the truly favourite sons will find a way to avoid service.
I do think however that from a strictly political perspective it is the wrong issue at the wrong time for the Democrats. There are many other priorities that need addressing and there is no doubt that the move would prove unpopular. However, like most American males I do wonder what the
Bobbsey Twins would look like in uniform.
It's not as if they are Real Americans or anything
Once the whole continent belonged to their people but over three hundred years a campaign that occupied the border between genocide and ethnic cleansing decimated their population and removed them from their historic lands.
Fortunately when all was said and done Native Americans at least had the US Federal government to look out for them.
MARY AND BILLY BOY HOLIDAY bought their one-room house from a medicine man in 1967. They gave him $50, a sheep and a canvas tent.
For the most part, they were happy with the purchase. Their Navajo hogan was situated well, between a desert mesa and the trading-post road. The eight-sided dwelling proved stout and snug, with walls of stone and wood, and a green-shingle roof.
The single drawback was the bare dirt underfoot. So three years after moving in, the Holidays jumped at the chance to get a real floor. A federally funded program would pay for installation if they bought the materials. The Holidays couldn't afford to, but the contractor, a friend of theirs, had an idea.
He would use sand and crushed rock that had washed down from an old uranium mine in the mesa, one of hundreds throughout the Navajo reservation that once supplied the nation's nuclear weapons program. The waste material wouldn't cost a cent. "He said it made good concrete," Mary Holiday recalled.
As promised, the 6-inch slab was so smooth that the Holidays could lay their mattresses directly on it and enjoy a good night's sleep.
They didn't know their fine new floor was radioactive.
Fifty years ago, cancer rates on the reservation were so low that a medical journal published an article titled "Cancer immunity in the Navajo."
Back then, the contamination of the tribal homeland was just beginning. Mining companies were digging into one of the world's richest uranium deposits, in a reservation spanning parts of Arizona, New Mexico and Utah.
From 1944 to 1986, 3.9 million tons of uranium ore were chiselled and blasted from the mountains and plains. The mines provided uranium for the Manhattan Project, the top-secret effort to develop an atomic bomb, and for the weapons stockpile built up during the arms race with the Soviet Union.
READ THE REST....
At least they can say they sacrificed their health and their lives so the United States could make more and better bombs!
How many Indonesians does it take to guard a Bush?
18,000.
Feeling safer yet?
Department of unintended irony
Reports are filtering in that several Faux network affiliates in the US are refusing to air the thoughtful documentary If I Did It which documents O.J. Simpson's innocence in the murder of his wife.
Why is he innocent?
He would have murdered her and her companion differently!
Why are the Faux affiliates refusing to air it?
Essentially because it is bad taste!
I have nothing to add.
Where is James Bond when you really need him?
He certainly wasn't in a sushi bar in Piccadilly earlier this month when
a former KGB officer, Alexander Litvinenko, who has been critical of Vladimir Putin was poisoned. Mr. Litvinenko is said to have a 50/50 chance of survival. Hospital tests have shown that he ingested thallium.
The Kremlin's response to suggestions that there might be official Russian involvement in the poisoning, as Mr. Litvinenko was investigating the murder of Anna Politkovskaya, is
"Rubbish".
One for the conspiracy theorists
Tonight
Newsnight on BBC2 will air a segment about an investigation into the assassination of Robert Kennedy. The writer of the piece believes that he may have uncovered evidence that
the CIA did it. Allow me to be sceptical.
Right-to-not-treat
There are many possible positions that one can take on euthanasia and the right to die. Irrespective of whether I agree with them or not most of them are well reasoned and rooted in a consistent philosophy.
I think most people will agree with me that
this ruling by a (damn activist) judge goes too far. Not only has the request by the patient's family to remove a ventilator and feeding tubes been denied but the judge has mandated treatment of the patient with a "miracle" drug. The 53 year old woman, who has been in a persistent vegetative state for over three years, is to be given zolpidem which has had some success in "waking up" severely brain damaged patients. Even if the woman regains consciousness she will most likely suffer from severe mental and physical disabilities.
Time to update the living will everyone.
Rendition claims another victim
This time it is not some unfortunate who is kidnapped in the middle of the night, manacled, flown to parts unknown and "questioned". It appears that Nicolo Pollari, the head of Italian military intelligence,
has been sacked. He has been under investigation for his part in the kidnapping of an Egyptian cleric, Osama Mustafa Hassan, by the CIA in 2003.
A small step but in the right direction. Now all we need is some progress
by the Germans in pursuit of war crimes charges against Rumsfeld.
In praise of Art Buchwald
Until I
read this yesterday I didn't realise he was back to writing. Well done Art! I hope I am as resilient as you someday.
From axis of evil to princes of peace in one simple quagmire
An article in yesterday's
Independent explores the rehabilitation of Syria and Iraq in Bush & Blair's desperate attempt to salvage something out of the "disaster" (Blair's own word even though he denies meaning it) that is now Iraq. Time will tell of course and Syria, a secular state with a more pragmatic leader, is more likely to be able to take advantage of the proffered "get out of gaol free" card than Iran which has more complicated internal politics, being partially democratised.
I eagerly await the visit of President Ahmadinejad to Camp David for a weekend of bonding with the Bush family. Perhaps while George is barbequing halal chicken on the grill and they are sharing a six pack of alcohol free beer they will sing a rousing version of
Throw the Jew Down the Well!
You can lead a firm to water
Forty years ago the British government made a deal with the, then public, water companies that allows them to extract virtually unlimited amounts of water from British with no compensation to owners, aka the British people. With many areas of Britain now suffering from prolonged drought the government is looking to restrict the water that the privatised companies may take.
How are the water companies reacting to this? They are
to seek hundreds of millions of pounds in compensation. Based on the agreement with the government they are allowed to seek compensation if they have to develop alternative sources.
So how much compensation should they get for something that they do not pay for and then are allowed to charge the real owners for? According to an article in yesterday's
Independent they are going to "demand £2m for each million litres they are banned from taking". Even those who are not good at maths should be able to work out that comes to two pounds a litre. For that they can just go down to Tesco’s and we can all take our baths in Perrier!
Enjoying the simple pleasures of life
Such as, when spell checking my previous post and Microsoft told me that "wingnuts" wasn't a valid spelling, I had the opportunity to press the "Ignore All" button!
It's a festival of fuck
Mary Whitehouse is spinning in her grave and I am sure many American wingnuts have got their knickers in a twist over last week's release of
Fuck: A Fuckumentary.
Coming soon to a cinema near you. (Unless you live in the red bit of America in which case buy it on DVD but have them send to you in a plain, brown wrapper.)
Happy anniversary
It is the 25th anniversary of the
Science Photo Library which is a repository of incredible images from the world of science. Go have a browse about and see what you find!
Don't forget - pee carefully
I'm taking my football and going home!
A petulant Dan Gillerman, Israel's ambassador to the UN,
walked out of the UN General Assembly during a session which passed a resolution critical of Israel's recent behaviour in Gaza and the West Bank. Outside the meeting chamber he held a press conference in which he branded the UN as a "farce" and a "circus". He later retracted additional remarks in which he accused the EU of stealing his dinner money and the Syrian ambassador of giving him a wedgie.
It may have taken three and a bit years...
...but it looks like
"Big" Dick Cheney" is finally right. Iraqis are greeting combatants with flowers. The problem is that it is not Americans and their assorted mercenaries that they are treating as liberators. It's
the other guys.
Oh dear.
What's wrong with Utah (and Idaho)?
It is clear that these two states will be at the bottom of my list should I ever decide to move back to the states (which is highly unlikely). They are the only two states, according to
Survey USA's 50 state tracking poll they are the only two states where GW Bush still has a higher than 50% approval rating. (Wyoming also gives the
Worst President Ever a net positive rating at 49% - 48%.)
What is wrong with these people and why do we let them own guns and vote?
Pittens! Kuppies! Free to good home
Ten Years After
One of the questions I have always hated in job interviews, and which is not so omnipresent over here, is the "where do you want to be in ten years time". In that vein I thought that a little idle speculation as to where some of the recent casualties in (and of) American politics might end up in 2016 might be warranted.
1) Randall "Duke" Cunningham - the former Republican Congressman from California was sentenced in 2006 to a little over eight years in prison after pleading guilty to a litany of charges relating to his overzealous attempts to enhance his income whilst in Congress. He was released in 2012 after serving over six years of his sentence during which he overcame prostate cancer. During his time in the federal pen he became the leader of a group of radical white extortionists and blackmailers know as the Laundry Boys. He had his inmate number, 94405-198, tattooed on his penis (in a very, very small font). After his release from prison he returned to the San Diego and he now works in a Chinese restaurant where he buses tables and is also responsible for
pricing the menu.
2) Jack Abramoff - the Republican lobbyist supremo turned supergrass managed to reduce his sentence for fraud and corruption of public officials to five years by ratting on anyone and everyone he had illicit dealings with. He
began serving his sentence in late 2006 and was released in 2010. His first post-prison business venture, a kosher deli in Dearborn MI, was a failure after, in his haste to get started, he neglected to do sufficient research beforehand and his choice of location, adjacent to the
Islamic Center of America proved to be unfortunate. He now works as a croupier in an Indian casino in Mississippi.
3) Mark Foley - shortly before the midterm elections in 2006 the then Republican Congressman was forced to resign his seat following revelations about sexually explicit emails and text messages he sent to male, teenage Congressional pages. Shortly after his resignation he announced that he had been sexual molested by a Roman Catholic priest as a teenager which caused him to become an alcoholic, a homosexual and a right wanker. He immediately checked into a rehab clinic where he remained until 2010. When he finally emerged from detox he entered a Christian programme which
exorcised him of his homosexuality. Now completely straight and dry he is the wrestling coach for St. Mark's Catholic School for Wayward Young Men in Key West.
4) Jim Ryun - following his defeat in 2006 the conservative member of Congress from Kansas broke with the Republican Party accusing them of becoming "wussy liberals". Putting an end to his political career he decided to return to the athletics arena and took up coaching. This lasted three years until the US Track and Field Federation decertified him after he refused to coach several promising young middle distance runners with Hispanic surnames unless they could provide written documentation that they were "really American". He now runs a toxic waste dump outside Topeka and is rumoured to be drinking heavily.
5) Richard Pombo - during his six terms in the House of Representatives this Republican from California was a fierce opponent of all things environmental and a global warming denier. He became a lobbyist for and advisor to a number of multinational petrochemical companies; a career that earned him a significant salary until 2011. That year he was converted to the environmental cause after his palatial beach house in Malibu was washed away by rising sea levels. In a cruel twist of irony he had had a hand in cancelling the federal insurance programme that would have reimbursed him for his loss. He is now a sustenance farmer and radical environmentalist living somewhere in Montana.
6) Curt Weldon - the long term Republican Congressman was believed to have one of the safest seats in the House representing the prosperous suburbs of Philadelphia. Shortly before the election news of an FBI investigation into assistance that he may have provided to his daughter's lobbying firm became public and he was suddenly unemployed. He offered his services to Boeing Corporation with whom he had always had a cosy relationship. They asked him what he could do for them now and since the response was "bloody little" they failed to offer him a position.
From this point forward his life spiralled downwards and out of control. As his own position worsened his daughter had to plead guilty to federal racketeering charges and was sentenced to prison. Left without family support Weldon took to the streets of his native Marcus Hook relying on handouts from the volunteer fire company for food. They allowed him to set up a small tent behind the fire house where he lived for two and half years. He eventually emigrated to Russia where he is now an errand boy for a Russian crime syndicate.
7) James Talent - his Senate career was brief (elected to complete four years of a term in 2002) but stormy. He took strong anti-abortion and anti-stem cell research positions. His failed attempt to win a full term was due, in part, to efforts by actor Michael J. Fox, a sufferer from Parkinson's disease, to unseat him. After leaving the Senate he returned to teaching law for a few years before contracting Parkinson's himself. He is now in a nursing home and his wife and children have become vocal advocates for foetal stem cell research.
8) Rick Santorum - he never got to be the senior Senator from Pennsylvania losing his job, as his did, in 2006. After a brief career and unsuccessful career as a lobbyist he was commercially idle for some time. However once gay marriage was mandated in all 50 states by a US Supreme Court decision in 2009 he reinvented himself as an internet entrepreneur. His innovative website,
Cani-date (TM), provided a meeting place for consenting adult male humans and dogs over the age of three. Here collie lovers would meet collies, sheepdog fanciers would meet sheepdogs and those who doted on daschunds would meet daschunds. As of 2016 he stands to net around 500 million USD from the sale of the site and the concept to MicrosoftGoogleMacintosh.
In a related story the suit filed against Santorum and his wife by their six children which asserted that "in twelve years of home schooling none of us learned a damn thing" has recently been settled out of court for a reported 500 million USD.
9) Ken Mehlman - the former Republican Party chairman left that post in 2007 after tiring of the rumours about his sexual preference that constantly swirled around him and dissatisfaction within the party over the 2006 election results which saw Democrats regain both house of Congress. To this day Mr. Mehlman has made no public statements as to his sexual preference. He currently runs an interior design business in Boca Raton with his business partner and roommate, the Brazilian born Reinaldo.
10) Donald Rumsfeld - sacked in 2006 from his post as the Secretary of Defence he went into semi-retirement before resurfacing as a professor of English literature and creative writing at
Bob Jones University. His annual four week summer seminar "Poetry and its Role in Government" draws bureaucrats and high ranking civil servants from distant and diverse countries such as Zimbabwe, Indonesia, Burma, China and Equatorial Guinea.
11) Condoleezza Rice - Ms. Rice stuck it out with President Bush through his difficult final years resisting all the while calls for her to stand for the Presidency in her place. After leaving office she held a news conference where she announced her intention to have a sex change operation and to undergo a course of steroid treatment in order to fulfil her dream of playing in the National Football League. Renamed Conrad he made his debut for the Washington Redskins in 2011 (at the advanced age of fifty seven) playing right end. Unfortunately his football career was cut short as he liked to play so far to the right of the team's formation that he was only very rarely on the field of play. He is now the piano coach for the Chicago Bears and lectures on the cold war.
12) Dick Cheney - as of this writing the former Vice President is now seventy-one years old and confined to a hospital bed where he survives thanks to an artificial heart whilst he awaits yet another heart transplant. Since leaving office in 2008 Mr. Cheney has had four unsuccessful transplants. In what his doctors consider a medical oddity they are fairly certain that the hearts had rejected him rather than the other way around. 1.4 million registered organ donors have now signed a petition at Dontgivemyhearttoadick.org which demands that, in the event of their untimely death, none of their organs may be utilised to prolong the life of Dick Cheney and therefore the suffering all humanity.
One of the hearts which rejected Cheney was saved and was subsequently transported to Havana where it now beats happily in the chest of El Presidente Fidel Castro now aged 90.
13) Saddam Hussein - (I'll bet you weren't expecting to see him still about!) The former ruler of Iraq was convicted of crimes against humanity in 2006 and sentenced to death. His victorious appeal had claimed that since he had so many look alikes in his employ that there was no way to know "beyond a reasonable doubt which one actually committed these dastardly acts". He was released in early 2007. During his time in custody he became a huge fan of Reverend Pat Robertson after becoming addicted to watching CBN on satellite TV. Reverend Robertson personally oversaw Saddam's conversion to Christianity and also performed his baptism. In 2010 Saddam emigrated to the US where he opened a lobbying and consulting firm. His high profile clients include Halliburton, GE's Electric Boat Division and ExxonMobileTexacoTotalBPShell. He divides his time between a residence in Fairfax VA and one in Virginia Beach where he resides whilst he tapes his weekly call-in show for CBN, "Ask Uncle Saddam".
14) Tony Blair - Blair's career fell into a swift and irreversible decline during the later years of the Bush administration. Finally leaving 10 Downing Street to a relieved Gordon Brown (and to the relief of the British public) in 2007 he found that he was so closely associated with President Bush that he was unable to make a living on the rubber chicken circuit. Cherie divorced him in 2009 and went back to the full time practice of law. She later returned to Downing Street as the second wife of David Cameron in 2010. Following the divorce a devastated Tony tried to make a go of it in the UK for a few years but eventually emigrated to India in 2013. He now works in a Mumbai call centre handling enquiries for NHS Direct. He says he is very happy and still smiles a lot.
15) George Walker Bush - I saved the best for last. The final two years of his administration were, even when compared to the first six years of his rule, an unmitigated disaster. During that time Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, South Africa, Brazil, Argentina, Mexico, Canada and the Vatican all achieved nuclear weapons status. The 2007 military coup in Iraq brought the Baath party back into power to the considerable relief of most Iraqis after the failed experiment in American imposed democracy. With Saddam Hussein acting as the party's senior statesman Iraq quickly shook off the American yoke and rebuilt herself. Unfortunately they refused, along with Saudi Arabia, Iran, Nigeria, Venezuela, Mexico and Russia, to sell any crude oil to the US or any American company or agent. By early 2008 gasoline prices in the US reached $15 a gallon and the economy collapsed. The Republican Party held its 2012 convention in
Jonestown, Guyana and it was sponsored by Kool-aid.
Following the end of his term he found that his father was no longer able or willing to sort out his problems so Bush 43 retired to his ranch (actually country estate) in Crawford where he quickly realised that clearing brush was not an economically viable occupation. He spent several difficult years unemployed and had to suffer the ignominy of Laura returning to work part time in the Crawford library. The library's only claim to fame is that it is the proud owner of both of the books that the ex-President had managed to finish;
My Pet Goat and
Thomas the Tank Engine.
Finally in 2014 he was released from this enforced idleness by the offer of a 5% share of the
Durham Bulls baseball team. Under his contract with the AAA team he now earns 15,000 USD a year for donning the Bull mascot uniform and performing in the stands and on the field during the seventh inning stretch. There were fears that he might return to drinking after team sponsor José Cuervo Tequila started a promotion whereby the bull could win a free litre of Cuervo Gold if he could name the leaders of three countries on the radio during batting practice. The sponsors quickly found out that on the rare occasions where he got the answers to the first two questions correct all they had to do to prevent him winning the booze was to ask him who the current leader of the USA was as the final question. As he invariably answered "George W. Bush" he managed, much to Laura's relief, to remain dry.
In a final, tragic note the twin Bush daughters were expecting their Dad to do for them what his Dad had done for him (i.e. make sure they never actually had to work for a living) quickly found out that he was unable to continue with this long lasting Bush family tradition. Jenna is now a waitress at a Hooters in Houston and Barbara works a till at the Wal-Mart in Durham.
See you in 2026!
Blame the victim
I suppose that if Charles Krauthammer sat on the jury in a rape trial he would be the one hold out arguing that "she was asking for it". I base that opinion on my reading of his
latest and patently absurd column in which he attests that the invasion of Iraq was the right thing to do, was well handled and all would have gone swimmingly if not for those pesky Iraqis. (He does however regret that we did not shoot looters, install a puppet government of exiles beholden to the US or assassinate Moqtada al-Sadr.
These ungrateful people continue to fail to appreciate the gift that the US had wrapped up and presented to them. In a spectacular bit of undisguised racism he asks "are the Arabs intrinsically incapable of democracy".
In drawing his conclusions he asks and answers his own question:
"Is this America's fault?
No."
Thank you Charles. I am grateful to you for removing the burden of the failure of the Iraq experiment from our shoulders.
Going Kafka one better
In the so called tribunals in which American prisoners are determined to be "enemy combatants" the prosecution often present no "witnesses at the hearings,...denied all detainee requests to examine classified evidence against them and all requests for defence witnesses not housed at Guantanamo Bay" according to a
report out of Seton Hall University.
Basing their findings on materials released under Freedom of Information Act requests
law professor Mark Denbeaux and Joshua Denbeaux also found that in 558 tribunals only 38 of the detainees were found not to be "enemy combatants", a 93% conviction rate. Any DA would be more that happy with that and all without any plea bargains!
Full report may be found
here.
US & allies search for abducted Westerners
Do you reckon that the "coalition of the willing" launches
a series of raids everytime an Iraqi or four is kidnapped or is this response reserved for white people only?
Happy (Iraq) hunting
Is
this man a relative of Dick Cheney?
War on Xmas!
Or perhaps it would be better to describe it as a war at Xmas. Once again proving that ordinary America understands the true meaning of Xmas, unlike that damn liberal media that does not,
violence and mayhem broke out across America as the limited supply of Sony Play Station 3s.
Merry Xmas everybody!
(Hey. I jost noticed that Microsoft's spell check doesn't flag "Xmas" as a mispelling. Someone better ring
John Gibson
straightaway.)
"I'm sorry madam this is a no frills flight and no one gets to eat!"
This story is just appalling. Why is it necessary for a woman to cloak herself in a blanket just to feed her child? If true a boycott of Delta Airlines is certainly called for.
(via
TikvahGirl)
Bush compares Iraq and Vietnam
"I was very careful not to come to Vietnam during your war, although it is very nice here now, and my daughters are very careful not to go to Iraq during my war!"
Blair says "Iraq a disaster"....
...Bush no longer taking his calls.
In an interview on a TV station, al-Jazzier whose sole purpose is to ensure that the enemy wins the "War on Terra" British Prime Minister Tony Blair has admitted that Iraq is
"pretty much of a disaster".
A Downing Street spin doctor attempted to explain the quote away with "I think that's just the way in which he answers questions". So, if that is not what he meant then he answers questions by not meaning what he says? Not much of defence really.
Elsewhere in the British government Margaret Hodge, the minister for trade and industry, was reported to have said that Iraq was Tony Blair's
"big mistake in foreign affairs" and criticised his "moral imperialism". She immediately followed this comments by saying "I hope this isn't being reported". Sorry Ms. Hodge!
Bush a Guardian reader
He probably skips the leader page but at a news conference in Vietnam GW Bush let slip that he occasionally
reads the Guardian. Careful George it's full of dangerous lefty ideas! Make sure you have had your coffee first.
He was probably just nervous with
Ho Chi Minh looking over his shoulder all the time!
I know she's Republican but I still feel sorry for this woman
Pity poor Shelley Sekula-Gibbs, the Republican who won a special election to fill the remaining days (less than 60) of Tom Delay's term.
First she has to replace Delay who, love him or loathe him (it is certainly the later with me), was a fairly dominant force in Washington.
Now she takes office only to find not only have all of his aides have resigned en masse but they have
scrubbed all the computer files as well. It sounds like they had an outside firm come in to do it properly. Well kiddie porn is just like blood; it's hard to get out!
Dr. Keroack may I have a condom? PLEASE!
Your task, should you accept it, is to select an appropriate candidate to run the American federal government’s family planning programme. The organisation he will be responsible for running manages over $275 million in annual funding that is to be used (according to its parent department) “to provide access to contraceptive supplies and information to all who want and need them with priority given to low-income persons."
Do you pick
1) a man who would appear to oppose the use and distribution of contraceptives
or
2) Someone who might be interested in doing the job that he is mandated to do?
If you think that GW opted for 2) you would, of course, be absolutely wrong.
Celibacy (after a fashion) remains the fashion
In a move sure to please Mel Gibson and family the pope has blocked and changes that could lead to allowing
Roman Catholic clergy to marry.
The message being "get what you can from the altar boys and leave the women alone"!
Headline from the Torygraph
Now this HAS to be irony
US military spending accounts for just under 50% of what the world in total "invests" in arms and troops. Therefore I have to choice that Secretary of State Rice was just having a chuckle when she said that she
was concerned about the levels of Chinese military spending. She said that "it sometimes seemed outsized for China's regional role".
What if China wishes to have more than a regional role? Is that an American decision to take? She may wish to be careful in her pronouncements. After call they could just call in the debt!
Old Glory to fly solo
I suppose
this means that the Columbus Day and St. Patrick's Day parades are off as well. (Shock! Horror! You don't think that they might be targeting a specific ethnic group do you?)
Since the town of Pahrump is home to the legal brothel closest to Las Vegas I hope that they thoroughly inspect the lingerie of their prostitutes to make sure that there are no bras emblazoned with the Union Jack or knickers coloured in rouge, blanc et bleu!
There are things one shouldn't mess with
This is one of them. Is there no one in their marketing division who remembers New Coke?
Some things are just sacred!
Help me!
Is
this irony?
I hope it is but fear that it isn't!
Emigrate to Israel oh children of Abraham...
...because you
have no future in America.
So saith the chairman of the Jewish Agency, Zeev Bielsky. And while you are at it stop assimilating into American culture and intermarrying. Don't worry. No one will criticise you for that; such criticism is reserved for Muslims.
If this is the quo what was the quid?
George W. Bush has given his imperial approval to the construction of a
Bush Center in Israel. The approval was given during a meeting between the outgoing US ambassador and Bush's deputy (as
Haaretz describes him) Dick Cheney.
Deputy Dick. It has quite a ring to it. Now if he would just don his black hat, dig his spurs into his trusty mount (or mount his rusty spurs) and ride off into the sunset I would be well pleased.
March of the penguins
They're cute! They're cuddly! They walk funny!
They can't be trusted
around America's children. Some parents in a small Illinois town want to ban the book
And Tango Makes Three
from the elementary school library because it tells the tale of two male penguins in a zoo who adopted a fertilised egg and raised the chick as their own.
Gotcha!
A recent email from the Republican National Committee to GOP Senators and Congressmen that suggests in the strongest possible terms that webcams be removed from computers in their offices in their homes is certainly and unequivocally unrelated to the sudden popularity of the website
CatchAPerv.com.
Bleep crime
It is bad enough that the American broadcast rules are so restrictive that it is impossible to see the average film without significant cuts of language irrespective of the time the film is shown. Violence, of course, suffers less.
Well these rules do not go far enough thinks Bill Johnson of the American Decency Association because they do not prohibit
"implied cursing" in advertisements. "Implied cursing" is, it seems, where certain words are "bleeped out" in adverts leading some to believe that they might be obscene.
"This degradation, this desensitization leads to an accommodation and causes an erosion of our ability to recognize the difference between what is pleasing to God and what is not pleasing" says Johnson.
I say f**k that!
My personal war on Xmas (part II)
Is it necessary that I be bombarded by Xmas carols every time I walk into a shop? Is it necessary for every supermarket to devote two full aisles to Xmas crackers and Xmas puddings? Shouldn't it be possible to find a street vendor from which to buy some nice juicy local apples who is not wearing a Santa hat?
Why I ask. Why?
On the plus side I am 100% behind the laudable campaign launched by the High Street lingerie and sex toy retailer
Ann Summers;
A Rabbit is for Life not Just for Christmas
Mullahs and pope agree
The Da Vinci Code must
be banned. The Christian right will be pleased that they have even done so for the right reason; because it is offensive to Christians.
The reasons for banning
Girl With a Pearl Earring and
As I Lay Dying are less clear but there can be no doubt as to the rationale behind banning Ebrahim Golestan's
The Cock. There is no mention of textbooks covering evolution but I have great faith in the Iranian authorities and I am certain that the fact they are not mentioned is merely an oversight on the part of the journalist.
Played for a fool?
Should allegations made about al-Qaida and Iraq prior to the US invasion by Omar Nasiri prove to be true we may finally have the real reason for the Iraq war.
Why did we invade Iraq? According to Mr. Nasiri
becaue al-Qaida wanted us too! Mr. Nasiri claims to have spent seven years working for European intelligence services as an agent inside bin Laden's network. He says that US forces captured an al-Qaida operative, Ibn Sheikh Al-Libi, and then turned him over to Egypt where he was tortured. During this interrogation he falsely "claimed that al-Qaeda were using Iraq as a training ground for terrorists". Nasiri confirmed that this was done specifically to plant the idea with Western security forces and lure the US into war.
If I had the money I would be Lord Yank of Beckenham by now
I think it is finally time that we officially dub the ongoing and blossoming scandal into Labour party financing and the awarding of peerages "Honourgate"0. It has gone without an official journalistic moniker for far too long and describing it as "cash for peerages" or "cash for honours" lacks snap and a -gate.
Now it appears that the case is
soon to be referred to the Crown Prosecution Service for possible charges. Yesterday the chief investigator, John Yates, revealed that the enquiry has uncovered much information that is not yet in the public domain despite significant leaks to the press. Tony Blair is expected to be interviewed by the police, under caution, before the end of January.
Well Tony think of it this way, thanks to Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon, no modern politician can be considered to have a true legacy unless they are associated with at least one, and preferably more, scandal ending in -gate.
Should the enquiry be wrapped up without any charges being made you can expect to see a run a Lordships in the January sales.
Technophobia
The White House hates science. They stifle science. They muzzle science.
All of which may explain why the
chief US official at the UN climate change talks has no more science education than I do.
Yes she is a Doctor. According to
her official government biography she has a bachelor's degree in International Politics and an M.A. and a Ph.D. in Soviet Affairs. All of which qualifies her to discuss climate science how?
Oh yes and she's a member of the Rotary Club.
Hunger in America Eliminated!
Unfortunately just the word - not the condition.
Yesterday there were hungry Americas.
Today the USDA has addressed that. The word
"hunger" is no longer used to describe people that are, well, hungry in the Department's annual report on American's access to food.
"Mark Nord, the lead author of the report, said 'hungry' is 'not a scientifically accurate term for the specific phenomenon being measured in the food security survey.' Nord, a USDA sociologist, said, 'We don't have a measure of that condition'.
Well hungry or "very food insecure" (VFI) there are still somewhere between 12 and 35 million of them in the good, old US of A which is a bloody disgrace.
Next - "horny" to be replaced by "very ***ually insecure" (V*I)!
Now speaking for the US government the ex-Israeli ambassador to the US.
"I have been privileged to know him well, he will not hesitate to go all the way if there is no choice."
Do you think he gets to vote in the US as well now?
Good news for Bush
Hah. Just kidding!
We all know that George W. Bush was so eager to visit Vietnam when he was younger that he used Daddy's influence to jump the queue so he could get into the Texas Air National Guard and be trained on obsolete aircraft which meant he had a 0% chance of being sent to South East Asia.
I therefore find it heart warming that he is
finally getting to go. Perhaps the Vietnamese could prepare for his visit by dusting his sheets with Agent Orange.
His trip to the ASEAN summit meeting will apparently include quite a lot of talk about "free" trade and very little about Democracy.
La vida dulce
Need a chain saw and don't want to pay?
Live in the tropics but long nonetheless for a cashmere jumper?
Think the prices of Game Boys and Playstations are too high?
Want a mountain bike?
Miss expensive Godiva chocolates?
Fancy a crabcake sandwich?
The answer to all of these modern dilemmas (and undoubtedly many more) would appear to be to become an anti-Castro Cuban and then
get the US government to foot the bill.
In the last decade the US has distributed over 70 million USD in Cuba to "encourage democracy" but a GAO study has found there to have been no oversight (a common theme of late) and most of the funds seem to have been wasted. USAID has responded by saying it is "taking issue" with some of the accusations (as yet unspecified) but that it would "seek to improve agency performance in managing, monitoring and evaluating this assistance".
Hmmm. I wonder if they can get
PS3s for Xmas!
Proof that Germans have no sense of humour
Even though we really require no additional proof today we have additional evidence that Germans don't have a sense of humour. Pope Benedict's private secretary, Georg Genswein (seemingly also of German extraction)
has criticised Italian television shows that regularly satirise the infallible one. In his words
"Satire is fine. But these things do not have any intellectual quality and offend men of the church. They are not acceptable."
Personally I think he should just lighten up. It's not as if he has God's ear or anything!
As yet we have no word from the "women of the church" as to whether they share the Pontiff's offence.
One has to draw the line somewhere
The Nuffield Council on Bioethics
has released a report that recommends that babies that are born extremely prematurely, before twenty three weeks of gestation should not be resuscitated, should be denied access to intensive care and should be allowed to die. The only exceptions should be "where parents strongly objected, even after being told of the very high risk of death or disability in these babies,
and doctors agreed to provide treatment". It should be noted that there are less than 300 of such babies born each year in Britain and only about 1% of these ever leave hospital.
The report, which has quasi-legal status, has already drawn some criticism in Britain and is sure to be greeted by waves of outrage from across the pond by those who which to draw the line just before ejaculation.
When I am 100
I'm not sure why the
New Scientist magazine picked the year 2056, quite possibly because it is fifty years from now, which is the year I will be 100 years of age should several (at least) medical miracles occur in the interim, for the year in which they would ask prominent scientists for
predicitions about the state of life on Earth.
There predictions include:
A limitless supply of spare organs
Hard evidence of the existence of aliens
An explanation of the big bang (which occurred either billions of years ago or around 6100 years ago depending on who you believe)
Interesting there doesn't seem to much mention of climate change - perhaps that is viewed as a foregone conclusion.
Push it good
I hear resonances of the "light at the end of tunnel" in the Bush administration's new Iraq policy, and therefore by default the British government's new Iraq policy. Plans for
a new and undoubtedly final push in Iraq, including increases in troop strength. Clearly the news of new troops being sent to the region had to wait until after the election. The new four point plan is as follows:
Increase US troop levels by up to 20,000 to secure Baghdad and allow redeployments elsewhere in Iraq
Focus on regional cooperation with international conference and/or direct diplomatic involvement of countries such as Kuwait and Saudi Arabia
Revive reconciliation process between Sunni, Shia and others
Increased resources from Congress to fund training and equipment of Iraqi security forces
This is clearly a signal from President Bush that he will refuse to give ground in the face of the election results and the expected advice from James Baker's "(Remedial) Iraq Study Group". (Perhaps he is just reacting, in the fashion of a petulant, spoiled child, to this past week's Newsweek cover story.)
The Guardian article I linked to above quotes a former administration, referring to Bush's isolation, as saying: ""He [Bush] is in a state of denial about Iraq. Nobody else is any more. But he is. But he knows he's got less than a year, maybe six months, to make it work. If it fails, I expect the withdrawal process to begin next fall."
I pity the every parent whose child has died in Iraq but I especially pity that those who will die in this final, desperate effort and will be remembered by
history as having died in an unsuccesful effort to save Bush Jr's. legacy.
Marine sentenced in Iraqi killing
US Marine John Jodka was sentenced yesterday to eighteen months for his part in the death of a disabled Iraqi civilian in Hamdania. He was sentenced to
eighteen months by a judge whose hands were tied by what he described as "very fortuitous pre-trial agreement". Pvt. Jodka could have faced charges of kidnap and murder but pleaded guilty to lesser charges and apologised.
I eagerly await the chorus of outrage from conservative commentators at yet one more example of the molly coddling of violent criminals.
Kofi kriticises US
How dare he? It is a good thing that he is to be unemployed shortly because I don't think we can take much more of this. Kofi Annan has had the temerity to criticise the realm of King George IV over its alleged
lack of leadership on global warming.
Doesn't Kofi know that George and his fiefdom are right and that the rest of the world is wrong? I certainly hope that the new Korean geezer is better informed!
Oh, and Kofi, George says
"Fuck off pissant"!
Activists judges to ask Bush nicely to obey the law
The President is above the law isn't he? I mean the current resident of the White House seems to think so. Therefore we shouldn't be surprised that the administration is two years overdue in producing a comprehensive report on global warming. The Global Change Research Act of 1990 requires the government to report to congress every four years on the impact of climate change. The Bush administration has yet to get around to it.
Now environmental groups have had the gall
sue the government to force them to deliver. How silly will they look with egg all over their face? I mean, since there is now such thing as global warming there is nothing to report! Ha!
Is George Bush on Tamiflu?
There are rumours on the internets (sic) that George W. has started drinking again. I think that there is a simpler explanation. As the President is undoubtedly the smartest and most important person in the world the government has been going to great lengths to protect him from bird flu.
Part of there precautionary measures up to now may have included dosing him with
Tamiflu!
Sex terrorism
I don't remember a ban on sex being the Patriot Act but then I couldn't get all the way through it without falling asleep so maybe it is in there. A man and woman from California are to
face federal charges after they alleged refused to stop "fooling around" on a flight from LA to Raleigh NC. The man was observed kissing the woman "near her breast" and had his face pressed against the woman's "lower body". They face charges of harassing a flight attendant.
I reckon the mile high club is closed for the duration then.
Why does Tony Blair hate America?
Sir David Frost has moved from the BBC to the English language version of al-Jazeera. We already knew that HE hated America after the disrespectful way he treated poor Tricky Dick all those years ago.
However that cannot explain why
Tony Blair is supporting our enemies by agreeing to be Sir David's first guest!
If this is stability chaos REALLY frightens me
"We in the Middle East have followed the American policy in Iraq for a long time, and we are very much impressed and encouraged by the stability which the great operation of America in Iraq brought to the Middle East. We pray and hope that this policy will be fully successful so that this stability which was created for all the moderate countries in the Middle East will continue."
May I have some of what he's smoking please?
I think £25 isn't enough
London Mayor "Red" Ken Livinstone plans on altering the congestion charge for driving in inner London so that larger, more polluting vehicles pay more. The
new tarrif would come into effect in 2010 or sooner and would mean that owners of large 4x4s would pay £25 (45-50 USD) per day to drive in inner London. I think that's not enough. It will hardly discourage anyone stupid enough to think that it is sensible to drive such a vehicle in town.
A Tory spokesman complained that the scheme is "punative". Well, duh, that's exactly the fucking point tosspot!
A question for conservatives, Bush supporters and other miscreants
What, exactly, do you believe to be human rights? Please tell me. Spell it out. For the purposes of this discussion a human right is one that
ALL MEN AND WOMEN on earth can expect to be applied to them.
The Bush administration is now arguing in a federal court in Virgina that, under current law, it can
hold immigrants arrested in the US "indefinitely on suspicion of terrorism and
may not challenge their imprisonment in civilian courts".
So if the US government believes you to be a terrorist you HAVE NO RIGHTS and that is it. Can this idea be squared with any philosophy that holds that there are certain rights that ALL humanity can expect and which cannot legitimately be voided?
I think not.
Department of unintentional irony
It is always counties whose populations consist almost entirely of immigrants (voluntary or otherwise) who seem to have the worst attitudes to immigration, especially those who might look a bit different). I am thinking of the US and Australia. This time we catch
an Aussie cricket supporter abusing English bowler Monty Panesar due to his ethnic origin.
According to an Australian journalist the fan shouted:
"Give us a wave Monty. You can't speak English you stupid Indian. I'll have to say it in Indian. What are you doing playing in the English side? You're not English."
I am sure the supporter, whoever he may be, has sufficient aboriginal blood to be eligible for the Australian side!
Now that Iraq is well on it's way....
....it's time to work out who should be invaded next to keep the "Freedom Agenda" alive. Yes - neocons - I can hear your chant of "Tehran! Tehran!" but I have a better idea. I think it is time that we put an end to two thousand years of tyranny, resistance to democracy, sexual discrimination and sexual abuse.
That's right. The Holy See (aka Vatican City) is my choice! First of all this really will be a slam dunk! Do you think that a bunch of priests in skirts could resist the greatest army on Earth? I think not.
These are my reasons:
They refuse to allow any woman to have a voice in their government.
They refuse to allow Jews, Muslims, Protestants, Sikhs, Hindus, Buddhists, Zoroastrians, animists or atheists to participate in their government or even to reside in their country.
Obviously they hate freedom!
After the successful invasion, when we will undoubtedly be greeted as liberators and feted in the streets we can let Halliburton repaint the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
At last the US beats China in something!
German NGO Germanwatch have released their 2007
Climate Change Performance Index. The good news is that the US edges out China. The bad news is that the US, the world's largest polluter, ranks 53rd of 56 nations surveyed. On the other hand the UK, I am proud to say, ranks second sandwiched between Sweden and Denmark. Malta and Germany round out the top 5 with, (surprise, surprise) Saudi Arabia bringing up the rear.
More information
here.
"To beat and spray"
What is it about the Los Angeles Police Department? It seems that anytime one of their officers gets anywhere near a video camera
the gloves come off so to speak. The latest videoed incident, now starring on YouTube, has led a watchdog to "call on the department to develop strict rules on when officers can use pepper spray on handcuffed suspects".
It is rumoured that the LAPD is countering with a suggestion that restrictions be put in place on the use of video cameras and mobile phones in the presence of a "peace" officer.
Protests ahead. Stay clear!
The American embassy in Jakarta has
warned Americans in the country that protests are expected during President Bush's visit and that they may turn violent. They suggest that Americans should therefore avoid the "protest areas" unless of course they wish to join in.
I wonder if a "protest area" is anything like a
"free speech zone".
No Iraqi left behind
In a move sure to warm the heart of
David Horowitz (should he be proved to have one) the Iraqi government has announced
the closure of all universities following the abduction of up to 150 staff and visitors from a Baghdad institute.
The Iraqi higher education minister ordered the closure and said that he was ""not ready to see more professors get killed". David Horowitz is undoubtedly unhappy with the minister's negativism and would be more than happy to provide him
with a list
. (NB - what ever you do do not buy that book!)
Have you ever wondered why small children seem to laugh when they see George Bush or Tony Blair on the telly?
I think that
this may go a long way towards explaining it. By the age of four children can generally work out what is real from what is unreal. Unfortunately America and the UK are run by men who can't manage to tell the difference despite being in their fifties!
10-4 good buddy
Jack Webb must be spinning in
his grave.
The Virginia State Police
have announced that they are to drop the use of the "10-" codes so beloved of CBers everywhere and resort to a more advanced communications method; American English. Basically it seems that no one understood what they were saying or hearing so perhaps it is a good thing. Some are blaming the change on the chaos that followed 11 September.
The terrorists have won!
"We are sorry madam but your husband died for an unrecognised faith. You may wish to bury him elsewhere."
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech..."
This seems like it ought to be an open and shut case to me but then GW has had six years to pack the federal benches with his kind of judge.
The widows of two American soldiers are suing the Veterans Department to force them to lift their ban on the pentacle, A Wiccan symbol, in Veterans cemeteries and memorials. While the department recognises crosses, stars of David as well as the symbols of many other minor religions such as Sufism Reoriented, Eckankar and Seicho-No-Ie it draws the line at Wiccanism, which many equate with devil worship. Even if it is devil worship the first amendment to the constitution would appear to be unequivocal to me.
The VA's current list of religious symbols that American soldiers are allowed to die for may be
found here. They even recognise humanists!
Masterpieces in the sewing room
I know I have
made fun our Queen previously for keeping a Caravaggio in her storage cupboard. But if you not actually worth hundreds of millions of pounds it might serve you to actually know what it is you
have hanging in the spare room.
An Oxfordshire woman who bought the pair of paintings in the sixties for a couple of hundred pounds has now discovered that they are actually missing works of the Renaissance painter Fra Angelico. They are estimated to be worth in the neighbourhood of one million pounds.
All I ever find in my spare room are
dust bunnies!
It's a great idea but I know I won't be able to get Haj week
How will they lure people to buy
timeshares in Mecca. An invite to a special session where you will get a free gas barbeque as long as you bring your wife and your chequebook? Will they extol the outstanding
view of the Kaaba? It is unlikely that they will be promoted as the perfect get away for a dirty weekend but you never know.
"It's the Palestinians, stupid"
PM Tony Blair used the occasion of his
annual foreign policy speech to point out the obvious; that there will be no peace in the mid-East without an equitable solution to the Israeli / Palestinian conflict. He now appears poised to repeat that message to the
Iraq Study Group*. Will young George listen?
* Call me crazy but might not it have been a better idea to have had an Iraq
Study Group convene before the invasion? I'm just asking.
When big business speaks,,,,
...we should listen. However, more often than not, mere mortals have difficulty understanding what these stars of the economic world actually mean. Fortunately I am ready, willing and able to translate.
When the CEO of British Airways
warns that green policies could harm the economy he actually is saying: "green policies
WILL HARM US".
Der Markt über alles
How do you spell h-u-b-r-i-s?
America is a country whose health system is in tatters. With the highest per capita spending in the world it also has the highest rate of citizens without access to basic healthcare. So should we be surprised that, shortly after a fairly considerable whipping at the polls, the White House sends a deputy health secretary to pressure the UK government to
introduce "free market" reforms that would allow US pharmaceutical companies unfettered access?
Alex Azar claims that the UK's process whereby NICE (National Institute for Clinical Excellence) makes decisions based on efficacy and cost as to what drugs and treatments the NHS will provide drives up the cost to UK taxpayers. Remember that that US per capita spending on health care is over twice as high as in the UK but that the UK provides free, universal access. Mr. Azar also wants to Britain to allow drug companies to market directly to consumers and not just to physicians. After all it
works so well in America.
Mr. Azar also wanted to offer government advice on the use of private insurance in conjunction with state provision.
On flip side of the coin we also learn today that drug companies are still
blocking access in poorer countries in spite of a resolution adopted by the WTO five years ago that allows countries to put public health above patent rights.
Mr. Anzar please just go home. You sound more like a commerce secretary than a health secretary anyway.
Welcome to cloud cuckoo land, Kentucky
The
Guardian has been privileged with a sneak preview of
The Creation Museum ("Prepare to Believe"), not far from Cincinnati in the Kentucky countryside. Due to open next year it promises to tell the literal truth of the creation story as found in the bible; plus some dinosaurs morphing into dragons. The "museum" is truly based on an extreme and bizarre world view and its creators seem to have answers for everything.
On the fossilised remains of humans and human ancestors:
"There are no such things. Humans are basically as you see them today. Those skeletons they've found, what's the word? ... they could have been deformed, diseased or something. I've seen people like that running round the streets of New York."
So if you live in Manhattan (or more likely the Bronx) keep on the look out for
Homo erectus, Homo habilis or more exotic specimens such as
Australopithecus anamensis and
Paranthropus robustus. They are most likely to be found driving a cab, hawking souvenirs or engaged in politics.
Curiously one of the men behind the museum has a PhD in Astrophysics. He says he got through university by answering questions "from my knowledge of the topic, not my beliefs". You would thing that an allegedly educated man would understand the none too subtle difference between the words
"know" and
"believe". I guess American education ain't what it used to be.
Under US pressure Vietnam releases terrorist
In order to get a trade bill passed with the US the Bush administration, under pressure from a Florida Republican Senator, has coerced the government of Vietnam into releasing a Florida resident
convicted of terrorism.
Why do Republicans want the terrorists to win?
Something for the new Senators to do forthwith
It may not seem like it ought to be the highest priority at the moment but the Protocol on Explosive Remnants of War has just
gone into effect now that it has been ratified by twenty signatory states. The US is not one of them but Bush has sent it to the Senate for ratification. They should do so.
The Protocol requires signatory parties to do the equivalent of
"pack it in - pack it out" when they go to war, i.e. clean up after themselves.
More information on the treaty may be had
here.
Test launches everywhere!
Why don't we get as upset
about these people as we do about North Korea and Iran?
Oh yeah - they're
club members. They probably know the secret handshake and everything!
"Please don't squeeze the ballots!"
You can say what you like about Diebold but you can't
do this with electronic votes!
Do you reckon
Mr. Whipple was of Polish extraction?
Because I'm a tourist you thick twat!
That is the appropriate answer to
this question.
Destroy a country, kill the people, ruin their river
At least we are consistent. We destroy everything in our path. It would seem that is has not been enough to kill tens (possibly hundreds) of thousands of Iraqi civilians and to completely botch the reconstruction of their infrastructure.
In order to complete the task it was necessary to also
so pollute the Tigris river that it is dying.
Thoroughness is an underrated skill.
Gotta git me one of these!
Should anyone be looking for the perfect Xmas gift for a certain American gentleman in South London they would do well to look no further
than this.
How cool is that?
Ossetia says "Yes" - the West says "No Way"
Does an ethnic group or a region have the right to succeed from the country of which it is a part and pursue a path of self determination? In the case of South Ossetia, a small region of the former Soviet Republic Georgia, the West's answer would appear to be "no". The population there has just
"overwhelmingly approved" a referendum on independence. However the west sent no observers to the vote and Western opposition appears implacable.
The secretary-general of NATO said "such actions serve no purpose other than to exacerbate tensions in the South Caucasus region", the Council of Europe referred to the referendum as "unnecessary, unhelpful and unfair" and the Organisation for Security and Cooperation in Europe deemed the vote "counterproductive".
I confess to knowing little (or possibly even less) about the political background here but my suspicions are that the Western positions are grounded more in the world of realpolitik than they are in the interests of the Ossetian people.
Just plain wrong!
Today the British government plans to deport a
young Ugandan lesbian whose asylum application was denied. She came to the UK two years ago after being threatened by her father, a Muslim, over her sexuality. During her asylum hearing a judge suggested that at the age of 17 she was too young to know her sexuality. Faridah Kenyini, who is now 20, has been in a stable relationship with a British woman for the past two years. Her partner has volunteered to have a civil marriage ceremony binding here to Ms. Kenyini and then travel to Uganda with her. They would then have to apply for a "fiancée" visa, which could of course be denied, to allow Ms. Kenyini to return with here partner.
Oh, and Faridah faces up to seven years imprisonment in Uganda due to her sexual preference. In a cruelly ironic twist the Ugandan law prohibiting homosexuality is apparently a holdover from the British colonial period.
Remembering
Yesterday was Remembrance Sunday and the
Independent had a special section about Iraq. Most of it focused on the soldiers who have been killed, wounded or otherwise damaged.
One story, entitled "The War of Words", tracing the differing positions of American & British members of government, politicians and commentators from the pre-war / early war days to now. I take the liberty of reproducing it in toto.
Tony Blair - British PM
Then (September 2002)
"What I believe the assessed intelligence has established beyond doubt is that Saddam has continued to produce chemical and biological weapons."
Now (July 2004)
"I have to accept that we have not found them and we may not find them. He [Saddam] may have removed or hidden or even destroyed those weapons."
George Bush US President
Then (May 2003)
"Major combat operations in Iraq have ended ... the United States and our allies have prevailed. And now our coalition is engaged in securing and reconstructing that country."
Now (October 2006)
"We cannot allow our dissatisfaction to turn into disillusionment about our purpose in this war."
Col. Tim Collins - Former British Battle Group Leader
Then (March 2003)
"We go to liberate, not to conquer. We will not fly our flags in their country. We are entering Iraq to free a people ... show respect for them."
Now (October 2006)
"Three years into the occupation, with no real improvement, it is time to admit failure ... British failure in Iraq may be seen by history as "ill-conceived and without enough effort."
Richard Perle - American neocon and the prince of darkness
Then (July 2002)
"Support for Saddam including within his military will collapse at the first whiff of gunpowder. It isn't going to be over in 24 hours, but it isn't going to be months either."
Now (November 2006)
"If I had ... seen where we are today ... I probably would have said, "Let's consider strategies for dealing with the thing that concerns us most, Saddam supplying WMD to terrorists."
Boris Johnson - Gaffe prone British Tory MP and former editor of The Spectator magazine
Then (March 2003)
"It will mean enforcement of the will of the UN ... to make the world a better place for the removal of Saddam Hussein and ... make the world better for the Iraqis he oppresses."
Now (November 2006)
"The thing was a disaster from the moment we invaded ... we need to understand why, why, why we were so mad as to attack without working out the consequences."
Jack Straw - former British Foreign Secretary
Then (March 2003)
"Iraqi lives saved by this military action will far exceed the number who, sadly, will be killed. It is a terrible calculation ... but one you have to make if there is to be a proper justification for military action."
Now (September 2006)
"The current situation is dire. I think many mistakes were made after the military action - there is no question about it - by the US administration."
Sir Jeremy Greenstock - former British ambassador to the UN
Then (August 2004)
"Mr Blair has 18 months to show that Iraq is a success. If Iraq in 2006 looks very little better than under Saddam, Then the whole thing was a waste of lives, money and effort."
Now (October 2006)
"There are only bad options for the coalition from now on ... I never thought we would have produced the kind of mess in the post-invasion phase that has now transpired."
Dick Cheney - US Vice President and veteran cardiac patient
Then (March 2003)
"From the standpoint of the Iraqi people, my belief is that we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators."
Now (October 2006)
"It's been a little over three years Now since we went into Iraq, so I don't think it's surprising that people are concerned ... It's still very, very difficult, very tough."
Gen. Tommy Franks - Commander of American invasion forces
Then (March 2003)
"There is no doubt that the regime ... has weapons of mass destruction ... those weapons will be identified, found, along with the people who have produced them and who guard them."
Now (December 2005)
"No one was more surprised than I that we didn't find them. I suspect that the President of the United States probably had the same reaction that I did."
Max Hastings - historian and columnist
Then (March 2003)
"Tony Blair has taken a brave decision, that the only hope of influencing American behaviour is to share in American actions."
Now (November 2006)
"President Bush's achievement has been to convert an almost impregnable American position in the world after 9/11 into a grievously damaged one today."
Geoff Hoon - form British Defence Secretary
Then (January 2003)
"Weapons of mass destruction have been a central pillar of Saddam's dictatorship since the 1980s. Iraq was found guilty 12 years ago. Yet they lied and lied again."
Now (January 2005)
"Following the conclusions of the comprehensive report ... the Iraq Survey Group is no longer conducting an active programme of field investigations into weapons of mass destruction."
Paul Wolfowitz - ex Deputy US Secretary of Defense
Then (December 2002)
"The goal is disarmament - the elimination of Iraq's [weapons] programmes... Disarming Saddam and fighting the war on terror are not merely related: the first is part of the second."
Now (June 2003)
"The truth is that for reasons that have a lot to do with the US government bureaucracy, we settled on the one issue that everyone could agree on, which was WMD as the core reason."Kenneth Adelman - American neocon and hawk
Then (August 2002)
"I will be blunt: demolishing Saddam's power and liberating Iraq militarily would be a cakewalk."
Now (October 2006)
"What I would have said: that Bush's arguments are right, but ... you have to put them in the drawer marked 'can't do' ... that's very different from 'let's go'. We're losing in Iraq."
Their own words damn them more than I ever could!
The end of the booze cruise may be in sight
If the UK government loses its case before the European Court of Justice you may no longer have to make the trek to Dover and hop across to France on the ferry to get cheap booze. The Court is expected to approve
an earlier ruling that British residents may buy French alcohol, via the internet, have it delivered and not be liable for UK duty. Neither Gordon Brown nor Stena Ferries will be well pleased.
Just a click then et voilà - crates of cheap, French plonk on your doorstep. Of course this does mean forgoing the two hour lunch in a French café which was really the reason to go in the first place. The booze was just an excuse.
UN (fails to) condemn Israel - US involved!
Is it possible that any Security Council resolution that is critical of Israel will ever again be acceptable to the United States or is Israel now the first state to become permanently immune from UN censure? Once again the US
vetoed a proposed resolution that would have called for Kofi Annan to takes states to address the current situation, including "the possible establishment of an international mechanism for the protection of the civilian populations".
The soon-to-be ex-Ambassador to the UN for the United States, John Bolton, said that
the resolution was "biased against Israel and politically motivated"
A wedge in the "special relationship"
British constitutional affairs minister Harriet Harman has harshly criticised the American government for its
continued refusal to supply witnesses to a coroner's inquest over British deaths in Iraq. She is quoted as saying:
"We have an expectation they should come, so the bereaved relatives of the deceased servicemen can actually ask questions of what happened.
"When they do not come that is not acceptable and we are prepared to say that is not acceptable.
"If our service people have died in Iraq the very least we can do is make sure there is a proper inquest, so their families can understand the truth of the situation of how their loved ones died."
An inquest held into the death of ITN newsman, Andrew Lloyd, at the hands of US forces has already returned a verdict of "unlawful killing" and refused to accept statements submitted by American personnel and asked for the as yet unnamed Marines to be extradited to the UK.
Ms. Harman plans to make representations to American officials but there is no word as to whether an official extradition request is likely to be forthcoming.
A moral statement that will draw a chorus of accusations of immorality
In a move that is sure to anger fundamentalists and evangelicals leaders of the Church of England have made a submission to a independent enquiry that violates the church's previously stated policy that "that life should be preserved at any cost" and says that in certain circumstances treatment on very premature or extremely ill infants may be withheld "knowing it will possibly, probably, or even certainly result in death".
I await the howls of indignation and the chorus of disapproval from across the great water!
Ethnic cleansing (II)
We know that climate change, left unabated, will inevitably lead to the
mass extinction of planet and animal species. We are probably less aware, at least I was, that climate change will also lead to the extinction of
human ethnic groups. African nomadic tribes are almost certain to the first to go but other groups living nomadic lives or dependent on sustenance farming will undoubtedly be affected in a similar fashion in due time.
One can make the argument, based on these facts, that the industrial world's inaction on climate change effectively represents an overt act of ethnic cleansing. Once again we must all face the fact that we will all have blood on our hands.
Ethnic cleansing (I)
What does it take before the world begins to refer to what is happening in Gaza as what it really is, ethnic cleansing? We now learn that Israeli military commanders knew that a change that they made to their rules of engagement would lead to an
increase in civilian deaths but went ahead anyway. What has actually occurred? An increase in civilian deaths and other casualties.
It is also clear that the economic stranglehold that Israel has imposed on the Gaza strip in particular, but all Palestinian territories as well, is meant to force emigration and death.
Their policies include a refusal to hand over tax receipts owed to the Palestinian authority effectively bankrupting the government, capricious closure of the borders preventing exports and imports as well as prohibiting Palestinians access to employment in Israel and a prevention of the fishing fleet from leaving Gaza harbour. The people are slowing starving and the anger is increasing. It is clear that this policy will not, indeed cannot, lead to the stated goals of ending the occasional rocket attacks on Israeli targets which include illegal settlements.
How subservient to American foriegn policy do we have to be?
Not that long ago there were serious calls in Parliament for an enquiry into the run up to and execution of the Iraq war. After fierce lobbying by government whips the measure was defeated.
This past Tuesday President Bush's Republicans took a serious spanking at the hands of American voters. So what is the reaction here in Old Blighty? Well young Tony gets on the phone to his mentor and boss to discuss
changes to their policy in Iraq. Once again I am sure that this is just coincidental and that this discussion had been stored away in their respective Crackberries for weeks in advance. Both of the "Dear Leaders" now plan to make submissions to James Baker's Iraq Study Group. As is fitting President Bush will make his statement first, a full day before his junior partner.
Something for the weekend sir?
You'd best not tell President Bush about the new, British government
promotional campaign to increase the use of condoms amongst the young. If he finds out Tony might be scratched off the White House Christmas card list.
Obviously by encouraging young Britons, both male and female, to make sure that they carry condoms on a night out it suggests that sex might actually acceptable and, well, fun! We cannot have this. Young women need to be encouraged to keep their legs crossed until at least after the "I do-s".
This is truly shameful behaviour from an American ally. I guess this means bad news for the Bush twins. The trip to London is surely off!
New math, old racism
I spotted
this news release from the World Conference on Families congratulating the American on their breeding prowess and felt compelled to reply. So I sent off the following:
Dear Larry,
I have a couple of questions related to your press release about the birth of the 300 millionth American.
1) Where and when did you learn math? First you proclaim that the American birth rate is right at the replacement level and then you state that "U.S. population growth isn’t an immigration-driven phenomenon". The replacement level birth rate is the birth rate that is required to maintain a stable population. If the US birth rate is at the replacement level then US population growth is absolutely immigration driven.
2) Was it absolutely necessary to note that "the fertility rate for white native-born women is 1.85"? First of all everyone is native born somewhere. I assume you refer to American born. Are you trying to subtly suggest to white women that their breeding rate is insufficient and they'd best catch up? Why don't you tell us the rate at which black, Hispanic, real Native American or Asian women are producing offspring? I am suspicious of a, potentially subconscious, racism here.
Just a note. Before you look at my email address and decide that a Brit has not business nosing about in American business you should know that I am a proud and patriotic American voter.
I eagerly await your response.
You're on drugs! No wait. Euros on drugs. (Sorry!)
It is entirely possible that I may have experimented with drugs at some point in my life. You might even consider it likely that I inhaled. During this obviously misspent period of my life I may also have stumbled onto crystal meth and, if so, I stumbled away just as quickly. I have often said meth is, bar none, the worst of the worst of the illegal drugs.
And now we find that it can
eat through your money in more ways than one.
Crystal meth. Just don't, OK? Don't! Trust me.
Pretzel logic
If Sweden violated the absolute ban on torture by allowing
the US to transfer an asylum seeker to Egypt after receiving assurances that he would not be tortured. Does that mean
A) that the US violated the absolute ban of torture by
TRANSFERING said asylum seeker to Egypt?
or
B) that the UK government’s stated policy to deport failed asylum seekers to states with dubious human rights records (does this include the US?) after
receiving assurances from the governments of these states that the deportees will not be tortured is also a violation of the absolute ban?
A Human Rights Watch Q&A document about "diplomatic assurances" about torture may be
found here.
A theorem
Elk are terrorists (not to mention piss heads)!
Climate change will affect,