Yank in London
occasional musings on politics, culture and life in general from an american in exile


"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

Tom Paine - Common Sense

"A republic, sir, if you can keep it."

Benjamin Franklin

"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"

Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong

31 January 2007
  Germany seeks arrest of CIA operatives
Anyone want to guess what the likelyhood is that the US will extradite these suspects to Germany if asked to do so?

Are there any numbers big enough?
  17:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  "War is Peace"
"Openness is censorship".

So saith PR hack Eric Dezenhall after he was hired by the Association of American Publishers to fight the moves towards "open access journals and public databases" for publication of scholarly works.

He suggested that the firms argue that, and I quote, "public access equals government censorship". It's really hard to argue with that!
  17:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why Johnny can't swim
George Bush is used to having grades that aren't so good. After all he did struggle at prep school and merely coasted his way through the Ivy League on his family's heritage so I reckon he won't be too shocked that the US has been given a C minus grade as regards its performance in protecting the ocean.

I say why should the oceans be treated better than the rest of the planet.

We must also admit that the student is getting better. The Joint Ocean Commission Initiative awarded a D plus to the US last year. Apparently when George hears someone talking about the seas he now knows that there might be more on their mind than "just a letter".
  17:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Forgive me father for I may, or may not, have sinned"

Reporters for the Italian magazine L'espresso have gone underground cleverly disguised as Catholics to unearth if Italian priests are toeing the Vatican line in the confessional.

Guess what! They aren't. Well most of the time anyway. According to an article in today's Guardian they come up short in a number of areas. Amongst the more controversial opinions expressed were:

Of course when the issue of abortion was raised by a reporter who said his future child would be born with Down's Syndrome - "I swear to God: if you do it, you'll be a murderer."

What has been the Vatican's reaction to this? Why what else would they do other than "accuse the magazine of profanity.

  17:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  BAE redux
Remember the inquiry into UK's Serious Fraud Office inquiry into allegations of corruption involved in the deal between the British arms merchant and Saudi Arabia for the sale of EuroFighter; the one that had to be called off after Tony and his Cronies started running around with handkerchiefs on their collective heads screaming "National Security! National Security!"?

Now Claire Short has revealed that the SFO has evidence that the sale of advanced radar systems to the government of Tanzania by the selfsame BAE was corrupt. They would like to see someone charged in that case but as yet, alas, no one has been.

I hope he enjoys his legacy, that Mr. Blair.
  16:58:00 0 comments links to this post
  The noose tightens
I wonder how Tony Blair feels about the Saddam Hussein execution now that the noose is tightening around the necks of his friends and therefore, by extension, himself. The police arrested New Labour fund raiser Lord Levy was arrested for a second time yesterday and was later released on bail. This raises the possibility, now perhaps a near certainty, that his Legacyship Tony Blair will be interviewed again, perhaps under caution. My oh my.
Will they hood him when they drag him out of Number 10?
  16:50:00 0 comments links to this post
30 January 2007
  He does go on...
Over at AlterNet Evan Derkacz asks "What Can Possibly Be in Bush's Head on Escalation?". Why did he find it necessary to add those last two words?

  17:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  We had best put a stop to this sharpish
How, I ask, will the magic, yet invisible, hand of the market be able to perform its miracles if we allow things like not-for-profit pharmacies in disadvantaged neighbourhoods to exist.

This is communism damn it and should not be tolerated in America!
  17:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  Republic President Bush apologises
He says that his dropping of the "-ic" suffix when he (attempted to) mention the Democratic Party in his State of the Union speech last weeks was due to his difficulties reading a teleprompter coupled with his inability to speak the English language. Either that or it was "an oversight" - however that might apply.
  16:37:00 0 comments links to this post
  I find this incredibly hard to believe
This is just fucking impossible. According to a survey by AC Nielsen 13% of Americans have never heard about or read about global warming. I'm sure however that they have caused some!

Note: this was an internet survey so these are people that should not be totally divorced from the world at large!
  16:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  One small step
Some good news in the court martial of US 1st Lt. Ehren Watada for his refusal to accept deployment to Iraq on the basis that the war was, and is, illegal. According to the Honolulu Advertiser the government has dropped two of the charges and will not enforce subpoenas issued to two journalists.

Lt. Watada's defence has already been denied the right to argue that the war is illegal previously and is likely to be convicted on some or all of the remaining counts.

We have to hope that subsequent appeals will exonerate him.
  16:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  The The Lord saves Washington DC (sort of)
In July of 2006 some Christian groups held a week long prayer vigil in the nation's capital. They asked the Lord that "the number of murders in Washington D.C. would drop dramatically over the next five months from the previous year". I found this a peculiarly specific but none the less laudable prayer request.

Well the results are now in and clearly my cynicism was unwarranted. According to a news release from the Christian Defense Coalition the Washington murder rate was down 27% in the last five months of 2006 as compared to the last five months of 2005. Halleluiah. Of course for the year as a whole there were only 3 fewer murders than the prior year. Q.E.D.

You what I wonder? Why didn't they pray to God for NO murders from that point forward or couldn't God do that? Why did they only pray for reduced murders for five months?

Of course there are other people, undoubtedly evil non believers or even Satanists, who think there might be other, more sensible reasons for the decline than a bunch of folks who spent a week in a tent on the Mall during the best of the summer weather. But don't you believe them!
  15:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  Colombia - enriching the rich
Colombia is supposedly an important American ally. It gets huge amounts of aid primarily in the military arena ostensibly to fight the flow of drugs to America and which is craved by Americans. Where the government forces have made inroads against the FARC guerrillas right wing paramilitaries have moved in and seized land, around 26,000 square miles, from local peasants and small farmers. Much of this land, to my complete surprise, is prized for either its oil or mineral deposits.

The American back government of President Uribe is said to be dissolving these militias but it unlikely that most of the legitimate landowners will even return to their land due to policies put in place by the Uribe government.

Will the US take the issue up with the Colombian government and force them strip these fascists of their ill-gotten gains?

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Alright. I'm back. I was just writhing about on the floor seized by fits of laughter.

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It is this sort of duplicity, or realpolitik if you are Henry Kissinger (and I do pity you if you are), that has been the hallmark of American foreign policy dating back well over a century, and which continues to ensure that we are distrusted or hated by most vulnerable people on the planet. Will it ever change? It is unlikely to go away completely but perhaps, with another President, it might cease to be one of the most notable of the faces we present to the world.
  15:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  American tragedy
More and more I find that I describe America to my European friends and acquaintances as a first world country and a third world country sharing the same real estate.

There is no doubt that there is much wealth in America and great opportunities are sometimes available. Unfortunately for many in America, due to circumstances beyond their control, they don't get to share in that wealth or have access to those opportunities. The gap continues to widen between the rich and the poor. As any remnants of the New Deal's or Great Society's "safety net" are swept away before by the prophets of the market the poor are getting poorer.

It is especially tragic when this affects the young as it does in a large numbers. What is even worse is that the plight of homelessness affecting a million young people annually.

A million.

America.

Wealthy.

God's country!
  14:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  Stop the enemies of Israel!
An internal report produced by the Israeli Foreign Ministry expressing concern over groups of former Israeli Defence Force soldiers, who are now opposed to the actions of the IDF in the (illegally) occupied territories, who are touring the United States and presenting their views to the American Jewish community. The Ministry views this with great concern. Heaven forbid that their largest supporters should ever hear a viewpoint other than their own. Speaking of the so-called "refuseniks" the reports states:

"The willingness of Jewish communities in the United States to host these organizations, and even sponsor them, is unfortunate. This is a phenomenon that must not be ignored."

The report goes on the urge action against the ex-soldiers saying "their negative effect on Israel’s image must be stopped". I'm sure that the Israeli government would never encourage the US to refuse visas to any refuseniks and should it occur it is for other, completely justifiable reasons which must, of course, be kept secret.
  14:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  Pharma-lie-aculs
According to the BBC GlaxoSmithKline, the largest British drugs firm which also has a significant presence back in the old home town of Philadelphia, withheld evidence from regulators relating to teen suicide during the approval process for its anti-depressant Seroxat. The BBC reported their findings on the programme Panorama. Their evidence included statements from former employees and emails which showed that the company was aware that there was little or no evidence that the drug was effective for use in the adolescent population but continued to promote it for use.

GSK, as could be expected, denies the charges.
  14:38:00 1 comments links to this post
  And to think I missed it!
Yesterday was Milton Friedman Day. I'd best note this in my diary for next year!
  14:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  "M" word confusion
Is a "miscalculation" anything at all like a "mistake"? According to Admiral William Fallon, the new head of US military operations in Iraq, the American military miscalculated the abilities and resolve of the Iraqi insurgents. In a letter submitted to the Senate Armed Service Committee he said:

"Securing the stability of the country has been more difficult than anticipated. Our ability to correctly assess the political, economic and security situation in Iraq has been lacking."

So he is, at least in my interpretation, saying "we're shit and we know we are".

At least I remain enormously amused at the idea of an admiral at the helm of things in a nation that is largely desert. At least it proves that Bush is unafraid to try out something new. Will he spend his weekends, in full dress uniform, piloting a naval launch up and down the Euphrates in search of a fleet to inspect?
  13:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  Wikiprecedent
Remember the furore that the right wing kicked up when one of the US Supreme Court Justices, I think it may have been Justice Kennedy, suggested that the court should, in some cases, take into account legal rulings elsewhere such as Europe. Of course the ignore the fact that English Common Law has an almost equal bearing to the Constitution as the basis for American Law, a fact which probably explains why the founders didn't believe it was necessary to include an explicit right to habeaus corpus petitions in the Constitution as it was already a bedrock of Common Law. This also confused the US Attorney General as he demonstrated last week.

So how will they feel about US judges increases use of citations from Wikipedia in their opinions? I wait with bated breath.
  12:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Rent-a-tans kill!
If you are Caucasian you're not meant to have brown skin in the winter time and if you are Scottish you are not meant to have brown skin at all, so stay away from the bloody sun beds already. It is no bloody good for you. Are you listening?
  12:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bigotry on the Moskva
Amazing as it may seem the United States does not have a monopoly on right wing religious bigots, especially the homophobic ones. The mayor of Moscow, Yury Luzhkov, has banned a gay rights parade in the city and referred to it as Satanic. In so doing he has gained the full support of the Russian Orthodox Church. Archpriest Vsevolod Chaplin, a spokesman for the church, said:

"I believe that in the 21st century people will realize the malignancy of perversions opposing the family in its natural form as bestowed by God."

A nice refreshing 21st century attitude don't you think?
  11:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  Leave my feet alone!
Britain is to launch the world's first national criminal footprint database next month in which shoe prints from crime scenes up and down the country will be available and compared. What a brave advance for British criminology!

Does anyone really think this will help that much? How long to people hang on to shoes? What if Imelda Marcos is a suspect? How will they be able to get through her entire wardrobe?

I wonder how much we are spending on this.
  11:49:00 0 comments links to this post
29 January 2007
  In the (slightly smaller) House that Bush Built
Down in Florida, long an enclave of Bushiness and dubious electioneering, we now find that their system for controlling the issuance of conceal carry permits for firearms might new a wee bit of a rethink.
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  Will someone please tell Blair he's not on Mastermind?
Blair says he's not leaving until he finishes what he started.

Reports that a loud cry of pain followed by a single gunshot were heard from number 11 could not be confirmed at this time.
  13:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  Joined at the approval rating
Tony Blair - 26% - an all time low.

George Bush - 30% - an all time low.

"At times they even talk alike —
You can lose your mind"

  12:58:00 0 comments links to this post
  Do you see what I see?
I am certain that coppers will not waste their time, and considerable public resources, searching for school girls not wearing any knickers should the government install x-ray security cameras on Britain's High Streets.
  12:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  One word makes all the difference
A British government study has found that young Muslims "more religious and political than their parents. This will undoubtedly be met with trepidation in parts of America.

However if you changed "Muslims" to "Christians" (or even "Jew") I would expect it to be met with joy from the same quarters. Hmmm.
  12:16:00 0 comments links to this post
  If I had ever drunk this before I would probably know just what to do
Australia remains mired in a drought that has lasted for of years. Their Prime Minister, the incredibly annoying John Howard, continues to toe the Bush line on climate change. Now Australian states are having to act over the shortage of potable drinking water. Queensland has become the first to admit that it will have to begin using water from sewage waste to augment the supply of fresh water. I'm sure it is perfectly safe and that the government would never lie to the people over something as basic as this. Right?
  11:55:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Your uterus belongs to the nation!"
The Japanese Minister of Health, Hakuo Yanagisawa, appears to be considering a career in American politics with his statement at the weekend that described women as "birth giving machines".

He has apologised but not, as yet, been sacked.
  11:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  A sea change in Ulster
It is sometimes hard to appreciate just how far the Northern Irish peace process has come but ten years ago I am sure that few could have imagined that it would reach a point where Sinn Féin would vote to participate in the province's policing and justice processes. As is to be expected the ever intransigent Unionists greeted the announcement with scorn. I can just hear Ian Paisley chanting, in his dulcet tones, "no surrender to the IRA". By the way it took talking to American financied terrorists (or are they freedom fighters if they are Christian) to get this far.

I hope the progress continues. After all the Rev. Paisley can't live forever.

I say this as a victim of the 1996 bomb at South Quay which almost scuttled the peace process for good.
  11:37:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Not to mention that I specifically asked for a cell with a view"
Two men spend eighteen years in prison for a crime they did not commit. They are abused whilst in prison for being child murderers. This is what happened in the case of the two men convicted of the murder of newsboy Carl Bridgewater. When they were finally exonerated and released they sought compensation from the government for wrongful imprisonment and won.

Then the government has the temerity to deduct 25% of the amount awarded for loss of earnings to pay for their room and board in prison because of the costs they avoided living the high life at the state's expense.

I don't know, maybe they just have bad karma, but I hope they win. In actual fact, the amount they were awarded, even without the deduction, seems woefully inadequate for their ordeal.
  11:17:00 0 comments links to this post
28 January 2007
  Caution, wrist slap coming
The Bush administration has been forced to admit, and will report to Congress, that Israel may have violated the conditions of arms deals with the US when it used US-made cluster bombs in Lebanon.

And that will be the end of that.
  13:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  How many lives to ducks get?
The phrase "lucky duck" is truly meaningful for a certain migratory waterfowl in Florida. He (or she) was shot but cruel and inhumane hunter Dale Tadlock on the fifteenth of January. He took the creature home and stuck the carcass in the fridge undoubtedly meaning to pluck and clean it later. Some two days later his lovely wife, Pamela, opened said fridge only to find the bird still alive, albeit the worse for wear. She rushed the creature to the nearest veterinary surgery where the bird was treated with oxygen and CPR. Ten days on the bird has had surgery and, although still weak, is saidto be doing fine, according to the vet.

There is no word as to how Pamela's therapy is going nor on the current status of her relationship with the evil one, Dale. One can only assume had he found the bird alive in the fridge he just would have taken out of doors and shot it again.
  13:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  Fodder for the red tops
Tabloid editors up and down the country are undoubtedly squealing with glee at revelations in today's Independentthat, with British prisons full to bursting and the Home Secretary John Reid already being blasted for his penal polices, Mr. Reid is drawing up plans for a "offend now, serve later" system of waiting lists.

How long then before we are treated to a series of hysterical yet heartwarming articles about aged criminals living in dreary council flats who are afraid that they will expire before they are able to do their porridge?
  13:17:00 0 comments links to this post
  Silencing the truth
The British Foreign and Commonwealth Office is working furiously to prevent publication of a book written by Carne Ross, a former senior diplomat and member of the British mission to the UN. Mr. Ross's book, entitled Independent Diplomat, is said to include a number of revelations about the run up to the invasion of Iraq that will undoubtedly prove damaging to Prime Minister Blair and President Bush as well as their beloved legacies. A spokesman for the FCO was quoted as saying that publication of the book would risk "damaging the credibility and morale of the FCO and the relationship of confidence and trust within government".

Surely the government has done that already!

Mr. Ross's testimony before the Butler Commission, which was made public by the House of Commons Foreign Affairs Committee is to be found here and is well worth a read.
  13:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  Royal Philly
I see that my old hometown has given a warm and gracious welcome to Big Ears and Frumpy (aka the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall). I hope they had a grand time. Did they get to have any cheese steaks or Tastykakes?

The Prince is known for his green ambitions, even if he does fly a great deal, and that was apparently welcomed in the City of Brotherly Love but nonetheless buried in a British article about the visit I did find this lovely quote from a Philly area native, one Walt Kennie:

"You can drive small cars over there in Europe if you like. We're gonna keep driving the big ones. This is America. More is more."

Oh my. Do you reckon he might be Republican by any chance?
  12:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Cameron out Bushes Bush
We all remember that wildly (un)successful education initiative of Bush's first term known as "No Child Left Behind". Well in today's Observer Tory upstart and boyish leader David Cameron promises to go him one better by ensuring in the new warm, compassionate, caring Tory Britain that he dreams about no one at all will be left behind. What a noble ambition I say!

Unfortunately I think it is going to have to remain an ambition. The population is around 60 million but it is only 874 miles from Land's End to John O'Groat's. If we all line up in one row we will all only get about an inch. There is going to have to be several rows which, unfortunately for young David, will mean that someone will get left behind.
  12:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Kelly's last stand
My favourite minister, Communities Secretary Ruth Kelly, appears to be considering one last attempt to see to it that her beloved Catholics are allowed to continue to discriminate against gays via an exemption to the proposed legislation that would end such practices. Perhaps have this attempt fails she can resign and go to work for Opus Dei full time.
  12:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Good news for climate change deniers
There is an article in today's Observer with the headline "Experts split over climate danger to Antarctica" which I suppose debunks the UN report due out next week which is supposed to deny the decision of the Decider (TM) that doubt remains as to whether humanity is causing global warming.

Oh, wait. Never mind. Having now actually read the article I find that they are referring to "so called" experts which believe that the already harsh report doesn't go far enough, especially about Antarctica.

Sorry to have troubled you.
  12:30:00 0 comments links to this post
27 January 2007
  Are you listening (or just deciding) George?
He is a past master at telling the Bush administration things which they do not wish to hear, that they will not listen to and about which he will be correct so if the American President and his minions ignore the statement from former UN arms inspector Hans Blix that "the threat against the global environment and global warming are a greater threat than weapons of mass destruction" we should be excused for reminding the Americans that he, and not they, was right last time. OK?
  14:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Green air miles?
Is there anything more inane than getting into the 4x4, driving about half a mile to the local Tesco's only to purchase a half a dozen organic apples flown in from New Zealand or a bunch of asparagus, in the dead of winter, flown in from Chile?

Well the Soil Association agrees and as it is responsible for the regulation of the use of the term "organic" in the UK is considering a ban of its use on goods which have been air-freighted from around the world. Let's hope they go through with it.
Oh, whilst you are at it, you could walk to the supermarket, now couldn't you?
  14:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  The ethics of cheese
The US Food and Drug Administration is poised to approve the use of cloned livestock to produce meat and other products for the American marketplace. Their thinking has been critically influenced by scientists in the pay of the cloning industry and there has been little or no consideration of animal welfare or other ethical issues.

Questions are being raised as to whether the FDA has shifted from its responsibility to regulate to active promotion. Read the extract of the paper at the link, which has gone to the FDA, and think about contacting your Senator and / or Representative.
  11:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Wired for sound
I'm worried as to the potential impact on America's police forces should these caffiene laced doughnuts make their way onto the market. Each doughnut would have the equivalent caffeine to about two cups of coffee. So when Officer Jones pops into the local doughnut outlet in the middle of his shift for a couple of cream doughnuts and one of those huge 32-ounce coffees he will be getting the caffeine equal to about ten cups of coffee (not to mention the sugar and the transfats). Am I the only one who begins to freak out with that much stimulant in my bloodstream? Is this level of drug abuse conducive to the carrying of firearms? Perhaps coppers should be restricted to decaffienated only.

I know that the cops and doughnuts thing is a bit of a stereotype but when I used to live in King of Prussia I passed the Dunkin' Donuts at the intersection with Henderson Road at all hours of the day and right with great regularity. There were never less than two assorted police vehicles outside and there were often as many as five. (Does this save them money on insurance?)
  11:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  American hate
Guildford College is a small educational institution in Greensboro, North Carolina associated with the Religious Society of Friends. Is it possible to imagine a more incongruous place for a potential hate crime?

Just to show how deeply ingrained racist, especially anti-Arab and anti-Muslim, thinking is ingrained in our society today the College was the site of a savage attack on a small group of Palestinian students,allegedly by members of the school's (American) football team. The FBI is now involved and investigating the incident as a possible hate crime.

Sad really although knowing the traditions of the Quakers I am sure that the college community will find appropriate means to deal with it themselves and in a manner that heals rather than divides.
  11:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  The (not quite) greening of the President
In his State of the (dis)Union speech earlier this week George Bush made a few grudging "concessions" to enviromentalists and all of those concerned about human induced climate change. Basically he suggested that Americans should burn more corn and that the big American automakers would volunteer to make their cars more efficient. There were, of course, no suggestions that American (and Western European) citizens needed to address their profligate use of energy to drive a wasteful, consume-at-all-costs society.

With the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change due to release its report next week which will suggest that the situation is real, it is grave and that dire action is required to address the problem, if it is addressable at all, the American government is planning a counter attack. The planned US response sounds as if it was assembled by a group of stoned university students who were trying to kill the time between pizza deliveries. Alternatives provided to any sacrifice on the part of the American consumer include:
The Americans are also upset at the report's lack of emphasis on the upside of global warming such as the addition of beaches to Tennessee's tourist attractions, Xmas day barbeques in Duluth and Massachusetts orange juice.

The US comments on the IPCC document are to be found here (PDF).
  10:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  Conflict in the Irish Isles
Forget Ulster. The latest conflict to stir up the passions of the Irish is the battle between Inis Mor and Inis Oirr, both of the Aran Islands, to claim the right to be recognised as the real Craggy Island. Rumours that Peter Hain was on his inestimable way to mediate the dispute has encouraged the islanders to come up with their own novel solution. They are considering using an "All-Priests Five-a-Side Over-75s Indoor Challenge Football Match" to decide the matter with the winner getting to be Craggy Island for the year and the loser having to suffer the ignominy of being Rugged Island.

In the immortal words of Father Jack: "That would be an ecumenical matter!" so tell Peter Hain to just feck off then!
  10:26:00 0 comments links to this post
  "What can I do? She still won't eat!"
The Spanish Ministry of Health plans to invite over 8,000 normal women to take part in a project that will ensure that clothing shop mannequins will reflect reality. The woman will be subjected to body scans which will then be analysed to determine how dummies should be modified to reflect the average woman.

I am a bit worried though. They can't stuff the dummies full of food, they just vomit it all up, so are they just going to throw the old ones away. Are mannequins recyclable? If so, which bin do I put them in?
  10:18:00 0 comments links to this post
26 January 2007
  Brain damage key to giving up fags
No really. I'm not kidding. If I were a member of the Bush administration I could just ignore the scientists but I am not and therefore cannot. Here is the science.

So if you want to give up smoking. Spend this weekend killing some brain cells. I heartily recommend beer but feel free to use the tipple of your choice.
  16:50:00 0 comments links to this post
  How long is a piece of string?
String theory, that bizarre attempt to produce a "grand unified theory" in the realm of physics that would reconcile Einstein's Theory of Relativity with Quantum Mechanics, has any number of proponents around the world. Its basis, like much of physics is largely mathematical but it makes a number of predictions, amongst them the rather bizarre requirement for an additional eight or ten spatial dimensions. Nonetheless there are problems with the theory.

The most obvious is that virtually no one can understand it but the most critical is that there seems to be no way to prove or disprove it thereby making more like speculation than a workable scientific theory.

Now scientists at Carnegie Mellon University the University of California (San Diego) and The University of Texas at Austin have devised a test that should be capable of disproving at least part of string theory. I will not pretend to understand what the hell they are talking about but for those with interest an explanation is to be found here.
  16:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Get that lad an ASBO*, quick!
A four year old boy has a scream that is so horrible upon hearing it a flock of chickens in Jiangsu province in China stampeded causing the deaths of 443 of them. A court has ruled that his father, a delivery man, has to pay compensation. I'm just glad that I don't live next door!

*ASBO = Anti-social Behaviour Order for the uninitiated.
  15:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Molly coddling criminals
Corey Clagett of Moncks Corner, S.C was a member of group of who shot dead three unarmed people. After pleading guilty to charges of murder, attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder and conspiracy to obstruct justice he was sentenced to 18 years but could be out in 5 years. I await the chorus of indignation from the right!

Oh, did I forget to mention that Clagett was a US soldier and that the men that were killed were only Iraqis?
  15:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  They can have any colour they want as long as it's red!
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" (P.B. Shelley - Ozmandias)

Oh how the mighty have fallen. The American* car manufacture Ford has announced its largest ever annual loss, 12.7 billion USD or approximately 2,000 USD for every car and truck it sold. It also lost significant market share in the US.

*Note: don't tell anyone that they are American. A surprising percentage of people in the UK somehow think they are British!
  15:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  Just wait until the wingnuts hear about this!
Why does the US military hate America? Because we all know that anyone who doesn't hate France must hate America by default. Ergo the fact that the US military has given a 1.6 billion USD contract to Michelin, a French company, to provide tyres for all its vehicles over the next ten years, is surely indicative of their deep and abiding hatred of the United States. Quad erat demonstrandum.

Disarm them I say!
  14:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Omitting the omission
Several major media outlets, including the Washington Post and ABC's World News, thought it important enough to note that the Decider (TM) decided that it wasn't worth his while to mention the Hurricane Katrina recovery (non)effort or New Orleans in his state of the (dis)Union speech earlier in the week.

Christ, even USA Today managed to notice, albeit at the very end of the story.
  14:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Puppet Master
Is anyone surprised by the news out of the "Scooter"* Libby trial that Vice President Cheney was the evil genius behind the scenes manipulating everything?

I, for one, am not!

*Is "Scooter" any kind of name for a 56 year old man who is pretending to be a grown up?
  14:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Not git out there and kill me some Iranicrats!"
One would think that someone who has started at least two wars in the past six years, neither of which is going quite as planned (assuming that there was a plan), would probably not be all that eager to start another one. Well, if one were to think like that one would being underestimating the Decider (TM).

I have long expected, and I am certainly that alone in this, that Dubya is just itching for a fight with Iran. They have a new policy in Iraq, courtesy of a new administration decision, that allows, indeed encourages, the capture or killing of Irani operatives.

This coupled with the sending of an additional carrier task force to the Persian Gulf and the introduction of additional sanctions will considerably ratchet up the tension in the area.

Coming soon to a (war) theatre near you.
  12:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why is the murder of an ex-Russian spy like an arms merchant's bribes?
The investigation into the Litvineko murder by polonium poisoning has been proceeding apace and the police are nearly ready to charge one or two Russian businessmen with his killing. The chances of actually getting the individuals extradited from Russia to the UK are approximately nil however. I suppose, if Putin gets testy about it, Tony could just have the investigation quashed in the interests of "national security".

I think this reminds me of something.
  11:51:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Nebraska corn rush
I have some additional thoughts re the Decider's (TM) green conversion via the use of ethanol to save us all. Besides the previously noted* impact that the use of corn to produce fuel will have in a world which already struggles to produce sufficient food to feed all of its inhabitants there is that fact ethanol just isn't all that green. In a best case scenario ethanol produces only 13% less greenhouse gasses than petrol. However using current methods to produce the fuel from the grain, which involve coal fired heating to extract the sugar, the net impact is NIL, ZERO, NONE!

*Note: it seems that the grain prices are already rising therby affecting costs to both meat producers and consumer alike.
  11:37:00 0 comments links to this post
  Is this a surge or an augmentation?
The Bush administration is poised to get the printing presses at the Treasury fired up again as they plan to pour an additional 8 billion USD into Afghanistan. After all they've being pouring money into Iraq by the bucket load and that has turned out so well!

They also plan to send more troops but as there aren't to spare (see "Iraq surge") they will make up the difference by keeping the ones that are there already there longer.
  11:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  To my antipodean friends
Happy Australia Day. I trust you won't waste your day off by staying sober!

Now, as a prezzie for me, will you please ditch John Howard? Thanks very much indeed.
  11:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  Saint Tom the Divine
There are important things are brewing in the hallowed halls of Scientology. The "church" has discovered a new saviour in the "Chosen One". This divine and blessed being is currently on Earth in the form of none other than vertically challenged Hollywood giga-star Tom Cruise. He has been told by church big wigs that he is their Christ-like figure destined to go forth and convert the world. I have seen signs of this proselytising spirit already as there have been groups of the wacky, I mean holy, Scientologists on Bromley High Street recently offering their famous free stress test and selling sacred tracts by L. Ron Hubbard.

I have so many questions I really don't know where to start.
  11:05:00 2 comments links to this post
25 January 2007
  Can the NHS rescue the Afghan economy?
Maybe it can if doctors get their way. The British Medical Association may recommend that Afghan opium be imported into the UK and used to make diamorphine, essentially pharmaceutical heroin, which is in short supply. This would help Afghan farmers get a fair price for their crop whilst ensuring that the drugs stay off of the illicit market.

Why am I getting a nearly irresistible desire to break a leg?

  16:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  A not so fond farewell...
...is due to E. Howard Hunt (1918-2007); Watergate criminal, CIA interventionist par excellence and all around bad guy.
  15:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why President Bush is not a member of the church of England*
Church of England Archbishop Emeritus and Nobel Peace Prize winner Desmond Tutu has told the World Social Forum in Nairobi that the "war on terror" cannot be won by force and injustice but only through the elimination of poverty, disease and ignorance.

"God weeps and says, 'Who will help me so we can have a different kind of world, one in which the rich know they have been given much so they can share and help others?'"

*Note: Tony Blair is believed to be a member but rumours are rife that he is leaving for a faith that is more accustomed to the use of force for religious purposes.
  15:43:00 0 comments links to this post
  Mother Nature fights back
Imagine you are Mother Earth. There are these annoying beings that have been living on your skin for millions of years - sort of like lice. For the last couple of hundred years they have been digging in well under you epidermis and carting away bits of your insides. You may have the patience of a saint but centuries of this treatment, coupled with drilling and blasting, you will probably reach the limits of your tolerance and eventually decide to fight back.

That is what appears to have happened recently in Indonesia where drilling for natural gas is now deemed to be the cause of a disastrous mud volcano on the island of Java that has been erupting since last year.

Well done madam. I emphasise with your plight.
  14:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  The good news out of Iraq
The situation in the country is "not hopeless" according to Lt. Gen. David H. Petraeus who is poised to be in charge.

That is all.
  12:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Komodo Mary

"They went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the lizard was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed.

Some of the eggs of a Komodo dragon at the Chester (UK) zoo, that has never mated or even mixed with male members of her species, have hatched. Mother (and father) and babies are doing fine after this clear example of a virgin birth.

The lizard is named Flora but I think that perhaps they should change it to Mary. The new name would be doubly inspired by the mother of the baby Jesus and the daughter of the Vice President of the US.

  12:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  No room at the inn
The Home Secretary John Reid has called on judges to jail only the most dangerous of convicted criminals due to the extreme population pressures on British prisons.

This policy will also have the added benefit of freeing up prison space for the use of politicians and their aides. Two birds, one stone.
  12:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  Collateral damage
The US has launched at least one other air strike into Somalia apparently killing no one of interest. No word is yet available as to how many disinterested parties might have been sacrificed in order that this bold strike against the evil doers could go forward.

US Defence Department spokesmen only said that the attack took place earlier this week. Do you reckon that, had they actually killed anyone of interest, there might have been an extra paragraph in the Decider's (TM) speech on Tuesday?

Nah. I'm just being cynical. This administration would never arrange the timing of anything for purely political purposes, right? In any case it’s not October.
  11:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Patience my arse. I'm gonna invade something."
President Bush displayed incredible arrogance in asking for patience on Iraq the other night in is State of the (dis)Union Address. If he and his minions had shown a little patience in 2003 and allowed the UN inspectors to do their job before deciding he needed to send none of his family to die whilst invading Iraq perhaps thousands of members of other American families and hundreds of members of families from other COW (Coalition of the Willing) countries, not to forget the hundreds of thousands of members of Iraqi families would still be alive. With a little patience hundreds of billions of dollars belonging to future American taxpayers would not have found their way into the coffers of Halliburton, Bechtel and other American corporations.

Bollocks to patience!
  11:16:00 0 comments links to this post
  Blair no show
There was a debate in Parliament yesterday on the situation in Iraq but the Prime Minister was much to busy hobnobbing with the glitterati of big business to both to attend.

This is either an admission of his growing irrelevance or an expression of his belief that he, and not Parliament, runs the country.
  11:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  Tae Robbie Burns
Address To A Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!
Happy Birthday!

More work found here.
  10:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  US s-u-r-g-e v British e-g-r-u-s
Cracks are appearing in the grand coalition of ex- and neo-colonial powers the United States of America and the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. (We really need a shorter name for this country.) The British plan to pull some of their 7,000 troops out of southern Iraq later this year and the Yanks are not well pleased.

The US ambassador to Iraq Zalmay Khalilzad said:

"We would like to coordinate and for us to have a joint plan, and we are talking about this. It is clear our preference would be 'the longer we stay together here the better'."

The failure of the British government to consider the impact of their foreign policy on the historic legacy of the Decider (TM) must certainly be condemned and certainly should be reversed!
  10:50:00 0 comments links to this post
  Just in time
Those of you who doubt the imperial, perhaps divine, powers of George the First, Emperor of the United States of America and Iraq, will probably argue that it is mere coincidence that today it is snowing in London for the second consecutive day. The snow began almost immediately after the Exalted One spoke about his plans to address climate change by feeding some corn to SUVs rather than people.

And George said let it be cool and it was cool and George saw that this was good. And there was great joy amongst the people and on the internets.

I would like to thank Mr. Bush for solving this problem with the same efficiency that he has used to address the problems in Iraq, Afghanistan and New Orleans.

Let us pray.
  10:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  A small victory
Poor Ruth Kelly, the British Communities Secretary and Member of Parliament for Opus Dea, must be down in the mouth today over the news that the cabinet has rejected her plans for special considerations in the proposed anti-discrimination laws that would have allowed the Catholic Church to continue to refuse to offer services, such as adoptions or accommodation, to gays. The same must be true of her mentor, the Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, who seems to be heading down the path to Catholicism himself.

I can only say: "too fucking bad" or perhaps the more considered words of Consitutional Affairs minister, Harriet Harman, might be more appropriate:
"You can't be a little bit against discrimination."
  10:38:00 0 comments links to this post
24 January 2007
  If your collar and cuffs don't match....
...don't worry! Try Betty Dye for the "hair down there".

How will anyone be able to determine who is and, more importantly, who is not a natural blonde anymore?
  17:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Karl did it!
I think I understand the defence’s strategy in the Libby perjury trial. Basically it is to jump up and down like a petulant five year old and shout "Rove did it! Rove did it!". Did I miss anything?
  17:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  Wrong! Wrong! Just plain wrong!
Today's been, and will continue to be, a hectic day and I shan't have an opportunity to comment properly on the Decider's great speech last night until tomorrow but I do want to touch one his call for the use of ethanol fuel from grass and grain to somehow resolve the carbon dioxide crisis without an American sacrifice. The only positive result that this is likely to have is the bounce that it has given to ethanol stocks.

The market, to which these "Christians" are so happily wed, is completely amoral. The market will say that if Americans can and will pay a higher price for grain to used to fill up an inefficient and unnecessary motor car than others can pay for food that they require to survive there is no question as to where the grain will go. It will go to the Americans.

In a world, with a rapidly growing population, that regularly produces less food than it requires every hectare of arable land diverted from the production of food to the production of fuel will mean more people will go hungry, that more children will grow up malnourished and more people will did of starvation or diseases related to hunger. There is no doubt that, not only is this morally wrong, it is unacceptable irrespective of neo-liberal globalise capitalists believe.

We must look elsewhere and we will need to sacrifice or all will suffer. What would Jesus do?
  17:16:00 0 comments links to this post
  Oops.
The British Director of Public Prosecutions, the country's chief prosecutor, Sir Ken Macdonald, has broken ranks with the great leaders, Bush and Blair, by declaring that there is no war on terror. His exact words were "the fight against terrorism on the streets of Britain is not a war". I guess he will be roughed up in the alleyway nearest to number 10 sometime soon.

He went on to say:

"We wouldn't get far in promoting a civilising culture of respect for rights amongst and between citizens if we set about undermining fair trials in the simple pursuit of greater numbers of inevitably less safe convictions. On the contrary, it is obvious that the process of winning convictions ought to be in keeping with a consensual rule of law and not detached from it. Otherwise we sacrifice fundamental values critical to the maintenance of the rule of law - upon which everything else depends."

Is anyone listening in America?
  17:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  A brief weather update
Yes. In case you were worried we did have a good 2 CM of snow here in SE London last night. How did the country respond you may ask.

Complete and utter fucking chaos. Thanks for asking!
  17:05:00 0 comments links to this post
23 January 2007
  How many parrots will fit into an Audi?
Five hundred apparently. I hope they hadn't learned to talk yet. Who could manage to get anywhere, let alone Kazakhstan, with five hundred back seat drivers?

Perhaps Sacha Baron Cohen can use this in Borat II: Kazakh Revenge.
  18:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  And throw away the key
Do you ever get the feeling that there are just some people who don't belong in the gene pool, who are doomed to be evolutionary dead ends?

Well that's how I feel about Teorry Henderson, a 23 year old father from Groveland FL who shot his four year old son with a BB gun to teach him a lesson.

"I made his take off his shirt and I shot him and two of three pellets came out. It was just wanted to punish him. I didn't want to whoop him."

See what I mean?
Mr. Henderson now faces thirty years in jail.
  17:43:00 0 comments links to this post
  Never again?
Will Yosef Lapid be vilified over his remarks about Israeli treatment of the Palestinians in the same way that Jimmy Carter has been vilified over his book?

Mr. Lapid is a holocaust survivor, an Israeli Jew and the head of Israel's largest holocaust memorial. In comments on Israeli radio he said that the treatment of the Palestinians reminded him of the anti-Semitism in Europe prior to WWII. Surely that is worse than just comparing the same treatment to apartheid, isn't it? He went on to say:

"It was not crematoria or pogroms that made our life in the diaspora bitter before they began to kill us, but persecution, harassment, stone-throwing, damage to livelihood, intimidation, spitting and scorn...I was afraid to go to school, because of the little anti-Semites who used to lay in ambush on the way and beat us up. How is that different from a Palestinian child in Hebron?"

After being angrily criticised by Israeli settlers he went even further saying:

"When we impose upon ourselves, and rightly so, the restriction of not comparing in any way or under any condition, the behavior of Jews to the behavior of Nazis, we forget that anti-Semitism only peaked in Auschwitz...It is unthinkable for the memory of Auschwitz to serve as cause to ignore the fact that there are Jews among us who behave today towards Palestinians just like German, Hungarian, Polish and other anti-Semites behaved towards Jews."

I wait for the backlash. Maybe I'll check Little Green (American) Footballs out later. After I've taken my anti-nausea medication of course!
  16:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  US a haven for criminals!
The US leads the world in spam output narrowly edging out China which dominates the malware rankings. Quite an accomplishment for such a law abiding nation wouldn’t you say? Can I charge the US government for wasting my time through lack enforcement of the law?
  16:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  I just can't believe this
Surely the American government wouldn't be stretching the truth (aka "lying" in everyday parlance) about when they claim that the Iranian government is arming Shiite militias in the Iraqi civil war. Right? They would never do that again in an effort to get us to sign up to military action. Would they?
  16:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  The EU to report on US and rendition
The final version of the European Parliament's report on CIA "extraordinary rendition" flights through the EU is due out in a week's time and there is still considerable disagreement amongst the parties. Right wing MEPs are resisting the use of the strong language from the preliminary report, issued last year, which accused member states of human rights violation and which recommended censure.

We will know the end result shortly.
  16:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  A mere snip at just under £2,500 per sq. ft.
An 11+ foot by 7+ foot former cleaner's cupboard in Chelsea has gone on the market at $170,000. It will cost another £30,000 or so to make it habitable. That is of course if you consider something the size of a prison cell to be habitable.

The estate agents listing the "property" are describing it as "tiny studio flat in a premier location" after "Bolthole in Belgravia" was rejected for violating the estate agents' code as it was too close to being true.
  16:16:00 0 comments links to this post
  More like Pandora's Box
President Bush's Press Secretary Tony Snow has been given a look at the State of the (dis)Union speech and he says that pick out the best bit is "like looking in a drawer full of diamonds".

I think he meant "blood diamonds".
  16:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  Am I a right to lifer?
The United Nations' World Food Programme is going to have to cut off food aid to around 700,000 Cambodians next month for the lack of around 10 million USD.

The US is currently spending 8.4 billion USD a month in Iraq. For those of you who are bad at maths it would take less than an hour's spend to continue to feed these people.

I believe that these people have a greater right to life than the Iraqi people have a right to death so why don't we just do it? Let everyone put down their guns for an hour and play football just like the Christmas truce in 1914. Someone will have to tell the Yanks that "football" = "soccer" so they don't try and pad up in all that heat!

  15:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  A Philly news update
A whole lot of numbers. That's how Marc Umile of Upper Darby laid claim to his particular fifteen minutes of fame. Unfortunately it took him three hours and forty minutes to recite the 12,887 decimal positions of π which is his claim to fame. Not only that but his only the North American record holder.

When asked why he did it he said:

"It seems like in the eastern part of the world, they really have their stuff together...I want to help us catch up."

That's what keeps America great. Hey - I only knew 3.14159!
  15:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I had a dream!"
Yes I did. It was very simple. I simply took this headline and replaced "Israeli" with "American".

I think it may have been a wet dream.
  15:16:00 0 comments links to this post
  Prince of Darkness upstages Bush...
...as he announces that the Decider (TM) will Decide to bomb Iran "if necessary".

Has anyone seen my sleeping tablets?
  15:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  How intentionally misleading is this headline?
Believers in Danger in Iraq

The release, from the ever reliable Christian Newswire, implies two things that are just not true.
1) That "believers" = "Christians" well Muslims are believers too. They even share the same God as Christians do whether either side wishes to admit that or not.
2) That only "believers" are in danger in Iraq. Bloody hell, don't they read the papers? Everyone; Muslims, Christians, Jews, Zoroastrians, Buddhists, Hindus, agnostics and atheists, is in danger in Iraq. There's a bloody war on.
Jesus!
  14:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  Not enough chicken in the sea
The World Wildlife Fund is warning that the stocks of tuna in the world's oceans and seas are seriously threatened due to over-fishing and mismanagement and will soon be commercially unviable unless drastic action is taken shortly. It’s time to say farewell to stock lunch of tuna mayonnaise on pita bread I guess.

I guess our grand children will probably be eating tins of Tuna-free Dolphin.
  14:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Oi! Adrianne!"
It isn't often that the old home town, Philadelphia, gets a mention in the hallowed pages of the Guardian. When it does it has usually been either the murder rate or municipal corruption that gets a mention.

Today there is a story about Philly that features neither of those elements but I'm not sure if a story about Rocky and the Art Museum steps is any more flattering.
  14:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Happy Saint Ruth Day.
Tony Blair must be feeling a bit hard done by these days what with criticism from the OECD over the cancellation of the inquiry into the BAE bribe scandal and, of course, the Metropolitan Police's investigation into "Lolly for Lordships".

On particular he must be concerned about the pressures on those lesser beings around him such as his political advisor Ruth Turner who was rudely awakened by policemen very early the other morning and arrested. We should all do our part to ease Tony’s anguish and by extension Ms. Turner's as well. I can think of nothing that will do more to ease his burden at the moment that than contributing to the campaign to urge the Catholic Church to make Ms. Turner a saint post haste without waiting for her death, miracles or any other such nonsense. As the petition so rightly says:

"[S]he has never done anything wrong in her life, she is arguably more holy than John Paul II, who was known to leave the toilet seat up on occasion. Furthermore, if by her actions she has spared one of the faithful - Tony Blair (who is almost a Catholic) - from the strong arm of the law this is clearly a miracle in her favour."

So go there and sign on right now.

That means YOU!
  14:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I knew I should have let Jeb have this bloody job!"
How terrible it must be to be George W. Bush these days. He may be the King of the World and the Decider (TM) but it seems as if no one, but no one, likes him anymore. In advance of his State of the (dis)Union address tonight the (deceitfully Marxist) BBC has commissioned a worldwide poll on attitudes towards America and I doubt if he will like the results. Of course this assumes that his minions tell him about it as I doubt it will feature on Faux News.

Of the wide array of countries surveyed in only Kenya, Nigeria, the Philippines and the USA is the USA viewed as having a mainly positive influence on the world. Even in such staunch allies as the UK and Australia the public has a very dim view. In the UK 57% view the States as having a mainly negative influence v. 25% who view the US positively. In Australia it is 60% negative v. 29% positive.

On specific issues such as handling of the war in Iraq, the North Korean nuclear programme and the Israeli / Palestinian crisis the news in no better. On the topic of global warming even the US deserts him and in only Kenya, Nigeria and the Philippines do a majority either approve or strongly approve of his position.

He'd probably be last to be picked for a game of football as well. That's probably why he became a cheerleader.

The complete results (PDF) may be found here.
  13:51:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Now the Lord had prepared a great fish" (Jonah 1:17)
Just to let all you Bible doubters out there that the tale of Jonah and the great fish could really have occurred I give you this little story out of Australia. An abalone diver, Eric Nerhus, was partially swallowed, head first, by a Great White Shark off the southeast coast but managed to escape after pushing his abalone chisel into the fish. His injuries were rather amazingly limited to a broken nose and, rather obviously, bite marks.

The shark, which fled the scene, has not yet been commented as to whether "the Lord spake unto" him and, even if he believes that the Lord did so, whether he had been taking his medication at the time.
  13:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  US attacks Pakistan
Before his big speech tonight the Decider (TM) may have to make a little conciliatory phone call to his buddy The General in Pakistan. US forces attacked a Pakistani border post in the Shawal area of North Waziristan yesterday killing one Pakistani soldier and wounding at least two others. A coalition spokesman said "I cannot confirm or deny loss or injury of Pakistani military" but added that it "all happened inside Afghanistan". The government of Pakistan has lodged a "strong protest" with the American forces and insisting that they "take necessary steps to ensure that such incidents are not repeated in future".

Sorry General! They probably just thought they were shooting at Iran.
  13:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  Quashing free speech in Oz
If you are planning a trip on Qantas in the near future you might want to wear a jumper over any politically minded tee shirts at least until you take off. Allen Jasson, an Australian living in London, was barred from a Melbourne to London flight because he was wearing a "Bush is a terrorist" t-shirt and plans to sue the airline. The airline says that they refused to board Mr. Jasson because his shirt was "a security risk or an item likely to upset passengers".

I wonder if they would let you on with an "Osama is a terrorist" t-shirt or even an "I ♥ Bush" t-shirt? The later would certainly upset me (and most right thinking individuals).
  11:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  The so called Marxist media
It would appear that the damned American liberal media has drifted across the Atlantic if the editor of the Daily Mail is to be believed, ever a risky option. In fact, we are told by Paul Dacre, that it is not just liberalism that we have to fear but the terrifying spectre of "cultural Marxism" on our airwaves. Mr. Dacre used the occasion of the Hugh Cudlipp Lecture to accuse the BBC of "institutionally biased left-leaning views" along with its fellow members of what he calls the "subsidariat" the Times, Guardian and Independent. He tells us that these media outlets are "consumed by the kind of political correctness that is patronisingly contemptuous of what it describes as ordinary people" (aka Daily Mail readers.

I'm glad that he cleared that up. I am sure that he is proud that his publication is a stalwart line of resistance to this insidious trend.
  11:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Cracks appear amidst right to lifers
An influential Italian prelate, Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini, the former archbishop of Milano, has sparked controversy in Italy with his remarks that suggest that, in certain cases, removal of life support would not qualify as euthanasia. His remarks come as Dr. Piergiorgio Welby, a leading advocated of right to die legislation, has been refused a church funeral after his death last week following the removal of a respirator.

Given the track record of the current Pope I don't see a sea change in the Vatican's attitude coming anytime soon.
  11:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  R-E-S-P-E-C-T (sock it to me)
I can't tell whether this is an attempt to distract the press from their troubles, lolly-for-lordships & the suppression of the BAE investigation, or just another spectacularly bad idea. The British government has announced plans for, wait for it, "repect zones" in forty urban areas across the country. The initiative, funded to the tune of 6 million pounds, will include measures such as "parenting classes and family intervention projects” in areas blighted with high truancy, school exclusion and deprivation. These "no dissing" zones are to be launched in parts of Birmingham, Leeds, Liverpool and Manchester as well as Ipswich, Hastings or Norwich. To the relief of MPs there are no such zones planned for Westminster or indeed anywhere in London.

I imagine that even as we speak George Galloway is ensconced with his solicitors in a basement office somewhere in Bethnal Green planning to sue the government for tradmark infringement!
  11:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  Containers galore
The beaches of Devon are littered with debris from the Italian container ship MSC Napoli was grounded about a mile offshore last week. They are also crowded with modern day scavengers hoping to land a small fortune in booty. They may be disappointed as the goods will probably remain the property of the original owner and in any case they have to contact the police with the details of anything they remove. As is to be expected in this day and age items from the Napoli have already appeared on EBay.
  11:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  God's criminals
What is the world's worst city crime on a per capita basis? If you thought Detroit, Washington or Sao Paulo you would be ever so wrong because you would have overlooked the mean streets of Vatican City. And why is the Catholic state so dangerous? They're soft on crime (damn those Christians) as most offenders "go unpunished".

This just goes to show how wrong Ann Coulter was when she compared Baghdad to L.A.. She should have compared it to the Holy See and instead of the Crips and Bloods it should have been the Jesuits and the Benedictines!
  10:33:00 0 comments links to this post
22 January 2007
  Saints get whitewashed
Most of the British papers had a story at the weekend about the resurgent New Orleans Saints and their quest for a shot at the Super Bowl, now sadly ended. Each of these was accompanied by a shot of fans cheering in the renovated Super Dome during a match. It took me a while to figure out what was disturbing me about all of these pictures.

Virtually every fan shown was white. Was it just my imagination or didn't New Orleans used to have a population that was more than two thirds black?
  13:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Spot the accidental irony
George W. Bush declared yesterday to be National Sanctity of Life Day.

It was immediately preceded on Saturday by the third deadliest day for American soldiers in Iraq since the illegal invasion.

Good thing he doesn't read the papers and I'm sure that Faux News probably forgot to mention the Iraq thing.
  12:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Does anyone have a team sheet?
You see I had thought that the Pakistanis were amongst the good guys, what with them being run by Dubya's good buddy "The General" and all, so you can readily imagine my surprise at the suggestion that agents of their government just might be aiding and abetting the Taliban and wanting them to return to power in Afghanistan.

Mr. President I certainly hope you are going to touch on this sensitive topic in your upcoming speech as I am quite confused by all this. Please reassure me!
  12:26:00 0 comments links to this post
  It's a tough job
OK. Please form an orderly queue. We will being reviewing applications shortly.

News reaches us that the police in Sydney Australia have taken to hiring private dicks (sorry - I couldn't resist) to have sex with prostitutes in order to ferret out illegal brothels. As long as it is in the service of good I have no problems with this.

Ah. To serve and protect!
  11:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  More time, more money, more troops
That's all it will take to win in Afghanistan according to NATO commander General David Richards.

I thought we had already won in Afghanistan. Silly me.
  11:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  65 "augmented" in Baghdad
Two bombs were exploded in a predominately Shiite neighbourhood in Baghdad earlier today killing at least 65 and injuring over 100.

In the words of Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore:

"It smells like victory."

  11:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Stormy weather
The fourth report of the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is due to be released next week and according to a report in yesterday's Observer newspaper it sure ain't good news.
"Although the final wording of the report is still being worked on, the draft
indicates that scientists now have their clearest idea so far about future
climate changes, as well as about recent events. It points out that:

· 12 of the past 13 years were the warmest since records began;

· ocean temperatures have risen at least three kilometres beneath the surface;

· glaciers, snow cover and permafrost have decreased in both hemispheres;

· sea levels are rising at the rate of almost 2mm a year;

· cold days, nights and frost have become rarer while hot days, hot nights and
heatwaves have become more frequent.

And the cause is clear, say the authors: 'It is very likely that [man-made] greenhouse gas increases caused most of the average temperature increases since the mid-20th century,' says the report.

To date, these changes have caused global temperatures to rise by 0.6C. The most likely outcome of continuing rises in greenhouses gases will be to make the planet a further 3C hotter by 2100, although the report acknowledges that rises of 4.5C to 5C could be experienced. Ice-cap melting, rises in sea levels, flooding, cyclones and storms will be an inevitable consequence.

Past assessments by the IPCC have suggested such scenarios are 'likely' to occur this century. Its latest report, based on sophisticated computer models and more detailed observations of snow cover loss, sea level rises and the spread of deserts, is far more robust and confident. Now the panel writes of changes as 'extremely likely' and 'almost certain'.

And in a specific rebuff to sceptics who still argue natural variation in the Sun's output is the real cause of climate change, the panel says mankind's industrial emissions have had five times more effect on the climate than any fluctuations in solar radiation. We are the masters of our own destruction, in short."
In light of this whatever small concessions The Decider (TM) is likely to make in his State of the Empire speech are likely to be meaningless.

The first volume of the report is due to be released on 2 February and will be available here upon its release.
  11:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  Tony to fall on sword - Gordon elated
In related news rumours abound that Sir Tony (I'm just practicing for his retirement) will most likely resign should any of his aides be charged with crimes in the lolly-for-Lordships row currently gripping the nation.

In light of this I have a message for the Crown Prosecution Service. Just bloody get on with it will you?
  11:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  Government at war (with police)
The British government and the police are at odds over the arrest on Friday morning of the PM's political advisor Ruth Turner. Ministers and former ministers came out in force to make statements criticising the police's "theatrics" in arresting Ms. Turner at six AM. Apparently she likes a bit of a lie in and found the early hour most inconvenient.

In return Sir Chris Fox, former president of the Association of Chief Police Officers, said that New Labour heavyweights were "scheming to discredit a very important inquiry".

I don't recall any ministerial outrage over any of the mistaken and aggressive arrests of Asians as alleged terrorists in the wee hours of the morning. Perhaps the accusation of heavy handedness is only appropriate for the arrest of Anglo Saxons (i.e. "real English").
  11:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  Catholics to be more equal than others
I confess I have been hard on British Communities Secretary Ruth Kelly of late. I also confess I haven't been hard enough. Her brief allegedly includes tolerance and equality but she wants toexempt Catholic adoption agencies from requirements in new anti-discrimination legislation that would disallow these groups from excluding gays. I wonder if, should scientists eventually discover a gay gene if she will allow genetic testing so that Catholic couples don't have to adopt gay babies. In the interim perhaps she should just allow for any homosexual adopted to children to be returned to the agency once their perverse predilection manifests itself.

Did I forget mention that Ms. Kelly is a Catholic and reputedly a member of super secret reactionary Catholic group Opus Dei?

Did I also forget to mention that Ms. Kelly is supported by the Prime Minister in this?

Time for both of them to go I think.
  10:51:00 0 comments links to this post
20 January 2007
  Atlanta's lap dogs run amuck
If you in live in the Atlanta region you should be on the look out for a pack of undoubtedly vicious feral Shih Tzus that make life miserable for residents of a local condominium community.

Forgive me if I am wrong but aren't Shih Tzus the sort of thing one would expect to see under the arm of a fashionably dressed woman on the Paris Metro that looks like a rather posh dust mop?
  15:55:00 1 comments links to this post
  Perhaps they all did it
In a story reminiscent of Murder on the Orient Express the entire population of Fago, a small village in the Pyrenees region of Spain, is under suspicion following the execution style murder of the town's mayor.

I'm surprised this never happened to Marion Barry.
  15:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bush's nadir?
Can it be true? According to the White House's in house new service, Faux News, a greater percentage of Americans viewThe Decider(TM) unfavourably than view Dick Cheney unfavourably at 58% v 53%. It is surely hard to imagine. Bush's approval rating is slightly higher than his Satanic second in command at a soaring 38%.

Out in the real world if 58% of your bosses think you are doing a shit job don't you generally get sacked? Unless of course you live in one of those socialist European states where they coddle the workers at the expense of profits!
  14:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  What's good for Big Pharma is good for the country
Pharmaceutical companies have taken to paying off generic drug manufacturers to delay them producing lower cost equivalents to name brand drugs at the expiration of patents. Is this the way the market is supposed to work? It is certainly not in the interests of the consumer. Sen. Leahy (D - VT) wants to put a stop to it but I am sure that this will raise a chorus of complaint from the free marketeers of the right at this unnecessary government intrusion into the sanctity of the marketplace.


  13:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  A convenient venue
Anti-environmentalists may be going to great lengths to prevent American schoolchildren from seeing Al Gore's film, An Inconvenient Truth, in schools but the have had less luck in Scotland. The Scottish Executive has announced that all schoolchildren in Scotland will see the film.
  12:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  There is no escaping activist judges
It is bad enough, despite six years of George Bush appointments to Federal judgeships in the US which have gone some way to resolve the problem, that America is littered with activist judges overstepping their bounds and trying to tell the executive branch that they can't do things that they really, really want to do. Now it seems that these judges have family members in Europe. The European Court of Human Rights has found Russia guilty of torture in the case of two Chechnyan brothers. According to the judgement:

"The applicants were indisputably kept in a permanent state of physical pain and anxiety owing to their uncertainty about their fate and to the level of violence to which they were subjected throughout the period of their detention...The Court considers that such treatment was intentionally inflicted on the applicants by agents of the State acting in the course of their duties with the aim of extracting from them a confession or information about the offences of which they were suspected."

Russian President Vladimir Putin has accused the court, quite rightly in my opinion, of being political.

Surely there must be somewhere safe from this judicial tyranny like Iraq, Burma , Zimbabwe or Fiji.
  11:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  Save the family - beat the kids!
California legislator Sally Lieber has suggested that the state should adopt a ban on spanking children. Rather ironically given their name, the Campaign for Children and Families thinks this is a bad idea. According to their President, Randy Thomasson, the legislation is "intrusive, unenforceable, and the most blatant violation of parental rights I’ve ever seen". He went on to say that "God gave children to parents" thereby suggesting that parents have been given divine carte blanche.

A note to Mr. Thomasson: should you ever come to the UK you will find that smacking is banned here and you could face arrest. I would also suggest that you never, in public at least, tell your child that you are "going to spank their fanny" especially if the child is question is female. The word "fanny" has a materially different connotation here and is not a cute way to refer to one's bottom. Should you use that phrase you are likely to have some serious explaining to do to the Old Bill.
  11:41:00 0 comments links to this post
  Terrorist enablers in the streets of Miami
Supporters of the confessed terrorist took to the streets of Miami yesterday to protest at his harsh treatment at the hands of the US government.

Is Sr. Posada detained at Guantánamo Bay or some secret American prison somewhere else on the planet?

No.

Has he been maltreated or possibly tortured by the American authorities?

No.

Is he likely to be detained indefinitely without charge or access to family and legal counsel?

No.

So why are these people so upset? They seem to feel that the man in question, who is wanted in two countries for the bombing of plane, with the loss of 73 innocent lives, and a hotel, is being unfairly treated by the Americans who have charged him with immigration offences but who will not extradite him to face the charges of terrorism.

Surely these supporters who openly support our enemies in the streets are under 24 hour surveillance and, when no on is looking, will be whisked away to parts unknown! Well, no they won't because the US government doesn't seem to think he is a terrorist. He used to a CIA operative and the 73 people who died in the plane he is likely responsible for having bombed weren't innocent. They were Cuban.

Life in the 21st century is very confusing.
  11:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  Justifying a father's loss
In this morning's Guardian there is a moving tribute from a British man, Bill Stewardson, to his son, Alex Green, who was killed recently in Iraq whilst serving in Basra.

I feel for Mr. Stewardson's loss. It is tragic to lose a child at any age in any circumstance. Alex was just 21 and the father of a 2 year old. In his article he speaks movingly about his son.

Yet no matter how much I sense Mr. Stewardson's pain I cannot subscribe to his argument that "if our troops pull out my son will have died in vain". Despite my opposition to the illegal invasion I do wonder if removing western troops from Iraq now is the right thing to do or just the politically expedient thing. There is a material risk that the violence will worsen, perhaps only briefly and that the country will descend into full on civil war. More innocent people will die. In a sense this mirrors Mr. Stewardson's argument but to suggest that staying on at this juncture is the only means to ensure that the loss of his son, and the loss of all the other sons and daughters, can be perceived to have value is, I am afraid, wrong on all counts.
  10:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Turner prize
The inquiry into illegal activities related to the gongs-for-loans scandal surrounding the New Labour government crept a step closer to the doorstep of Number 10 with the arrest at dawn yesterday of one of Tony Blair's top political advisers, Ruth Turner. Ms. Turner was arrested by the Metropolitan Police on charges of "suspicion of perverting the course of justice". She was later released without charge.

Does Tony fear the early morning knock on the door? I, for one, certainly hope so.
  10:34:00 0 comments links to this post
19 January 2007
  Crackers in Caracas
In general I have been a supporter of Hugo Chavez, especially in his battle over American interference (remember the coup?), but I think has gone too far now and someone, somehow needs to rein him in. His legislature has just granted him the authority, for the next 18 months at least, to rule by decree. Take a deep breath Hugo and try again, please.
  16:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Is that a fire in your pocket...
...or are you just glad to see me?"
  16:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  If George Bush read the papers
This story, about the eviction from his office of the Chief Justice of Fiji by the illegitimate government currently in power there, would certainly have given him a woody! How much would he, and his little adviser, AG Gonzales, love to do the same in America?

Well George, when you finish demolishing the rest of the Constitution, perhaps you will be allowed to do this too! At least as long as you ask Unca Dick nicely.
  16:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  US soldiers wanted by Spanish
Do the US and Spain have an extradition treaty? If so, what will happen if the Spanish government, not exactly the American's best friend at the moment, ask the US to exercise this international arrest warrant for three US soldiers for the murder of Spanish cameraman José Couso in Iraq? The US Army has already "cleared" the three accused of any wrong doing.
  16:17:00 0 comments links to this post
  A disarming proposal
Maybe the US really did get their man when Ban Ki-moon was appointed Secretary General of the United Nations but everything is not, as yet, going their way.

He had proposed that the Secretariat's Department of Disarmament Affairs be eliminated as a separate entity and that it be brought under the Department of Political Affairs, probably with an American in charge. He has had to backtrack on that proposal after angry protests from the Non-Aligned Movement.

Score one for the good guys.
  15:58:00 0 comments links to this post
  Not-real-Christians set to oppose President
The faux Christians at Faithful America seem to think that the Lord speaks to them rather than through our dear Leader. They have arrogantly decided that they are more qualified to present the State of the Union than the President and are busy preparing their own message. Their incredible hubris is reflected in this comment from one Barry Tepperman:

"Our national leaders seem not to understand that 'Thou shalt not kill' is not followed by an 'except'."

It is a good thing that we have a President who doesn't just have voices in his head, like these people, but rather the 100% authentic Voice of God (or VoG as I like to call it)!
  15:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  In memoriam
Given Art Buchwald's recent and unfortunate death I did a bit of internet trolling and came up with this little gem of a quote:

"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."

I couldn't put it better myself and I am sure that I've tried!
  14:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  War in space
Not so long ago the US government issued a revision to its space policy that sounded very much as if it were laying the groundwork for, at a minimum, American hegemony over space, or, in a worst case, total American military dominance outside of the Earth's atmosphere.

Now it would seem that they have an answer as to how at least one member of the world community feels about that as China has successfully destroyed a satellite using a ground based ballistic missile. The White House "expressed its concern".

Where next I wonder.
  14:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  The US & Iran - diplomacy or war
There are basically two ways to resolve international conflict. Nations can either engage with each other, talk through their differences and attempt to find some middle ground or they can engage in violent conflict.

Auntie is reporting that way back in 2003 Iran made a proposal to the United States that included a number of concessions, including most of what the US is currently asking for, in exchange for an end to hostilities.

The State Department was encouraged and thought it should be accepted but then Dick "the Evil One" Cheney caught wind of the plan and that was the end of that. Should the US end up at war with Iran will Mr. Cheney be able to look the parents of any of the dead soldiers in the eye and say that "it's worth it"? (Unfortunately the answer to that question is probably yes.)

What did the Iranians offer?
What did they want in return?
The news of this miss opportunity was broken by form State Department official Lawrence Wilkerson on Newsnight last night. He said that when the offer was communicated to the White House and into the VPs hands "the old mantra of 'We don't talk to evil'... reasserted itself."

I guess it is a good thing that Unca Dick doesn't talk to himself in that case.
  13:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Forbidden cappuccino
Starbucks has outlets selling overpriced, often not very good coffee, in paper cups nearly everywhere. At the moment there is even one inside the Forbidden City in Beijing. I say at the moment because there is now an internet campaign afoot and the caretakers of the former Imperial palaces appear to be giving it serious consideration.

Good on 'em I say!
  12:26:00 0 comments links to this post
  Not free, not fair, not trials, not justice
The US military has released its manual for judges who will hear the cases against American detainees at Guantánamo. It is not very promising if you have any belief at all in what used to be an American system that promised justice.

What does it allows, you ask.

According the chief defence council appointed by the Pentagon, Marine Col. Dwight Sullivan the rules "appeared carefully crafted to ensure that an accused can be convicted -- and possibly executed -- based on nothing but a coerced confession."

This is definitely not the America I signed up for!

  12:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  All BAE, all the time
I really cannot allow a day to go by without saying something about the relationship between arms manufacturer, aka merchant of death, BAE systems and the British government. Yesterday the government had its wrist slapped by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development over the cancellation of the probe by the Serious Fraud Office into allegations of the payment by BAE of multi-million pound backhanders to Saudi princes in order to close a deal for the sale of EuroFighters to the Arab state.
  12:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Mahatma of Downing Street
Yesterday Chancellor of the Exchequer and Blair heir apparent Gordon Brown quite presumptively suggested that the great Indian leader Mohandas Gandhi would be his inspiration once that other son-of-a-bitch moves out and he gets to be Prime Minister.

I assume that this means that his foreign and domestic policies will be based on ahimsa, that school meals, in addition to being nutritious, will also be vegetarian and that he will take to wearing a dhoti made of cloth that he has spun and woven himself.

I, for one, am looking forward to this! Now if we could just make Tony go away.
  11:58:00 0 comments links to this post
  Racists uncovered in Big Brother house
Before you read any further I would like to make a disclaimer. I am not watching Celebrity Big Brother. However it is suddenly very hard to avoid after accusations of racist behaviour amongst the inmates. I haven’t seen any of this so what follows is what I have garnered from the press.

Shilpa Shetty, a Bollywood star and perhaps the only bona fide "celebrity" on the show, is one of the contestants and stories abound that she has been abused racially by fellow cast members Jade Goody, "famous" for having been on regular Big Brother, and Danielle Lloyd, "famous" for ever so briefly being Miss UK, she was stripped of her crown after it became known that she was shagging, er, dating, one of the contest's judges, footballer Teddy Sheringham.

Channel 4 has lost Carphone Warehouse as a programme sponsor and diplomatic relations between the UK and India have been adversely affected. The strangest twist comes from Channel 4 itself which had to clarify that when one segment of dialogue was bleeped out for transmission that the offending word was "cunt" and not "Paki". (Note to American readers the papers here managed to cover that bit of the story without resorting to "c**t".)

It has been reported elsewhere that Ms. Goody has received favourable comments on her website from members of both the British National Party and the American Nazi Party. For reasons of decorum and good taste I have chosen not to confirm this.

And, now for the good news; ratings are up!
  11:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  The problem with unions
Growing up in 60's-70's America my general experience with unions wasn't all the good. It was a time of massive corruption and rightward drift. Later, during the Reagan years, they would be more or less emasculated. My experience in Europe is rather different and I find them in general to be a force for good.

However they still have their problems. (WARNING TO MEN: you may want to stop reading this story now. Trust me.) The Doctor's union in Romania is protesting a £100,000 damage award that a surgeon will have to pay after losing his temper during an operation and cutting off the patient's genitalia. According to Vasile Astarastoae of the Romanian Doctors Union:

"Ciomu's case is a dangerous precedent for all Romanian doctors. In future doctors may have to think very carefully about what work they undertake."

Let’s face it. Thinking and surgery just don't mix.
  10:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Getting warmer
The other day I made an early and probably rash prediction that "surge" will be word of the year for 2007. I was being somewhat facetious but a headline in today's Guardian suggests that my foresight might have a leg to stand on after all. The story, about an unexpected rate of increase in carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere is headed "Surge in carbon levels raises fears of runaway warming".

All levity aside, scientists have been surprised to find that the levels of atmospheric CO2 is increasing much faster than predicted and that mankind might little or no time to address the problem. The research suggests that rising temperatures may be making oceans and forests less able to absorb the greenhouse gas with grave consequences.

So put the Hummer/SUV/MPV/big-ass-American-car in the garage permanently and get out their and walk. It might even be good for you. And if you're into that sort of thing praying mightn't be a bad idea either.
  10:36:00 0 comments links to this post
18 January 2007
  Look! Kitlers!
Soon to be banned in Germany no doubt - cats that look like der Führer.
  17:37:00 0 comments links to this post
  "If you hadn't lawyered up we'd be done with you by now"
Why have no trials taken place for any of the US detainees at Guantánamo? Well, obviously the man to ask is US Attorney General and facilitator-at-large Alberto Gonzales. He knows and he isn't afraid to tell us.
"A lot will depend on the courts and the legal challenges brought by detainees at Guantánamo...but we are trying as hard as we can to bring these individuals to justice."
If those evil doers hadn't gone out and got lawyers they would have been found guilty by now.
  17:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  Stop this man!
I think it's time for a boycott of Karl Kemp & Associates, antique dealers on New York's Madison Avenue. The owner is suing a group of four homeless people for 1 million USD in an effort to keep them away from his store.

The four named in the suit, "John Smith", "John Doe", "Bob Doe", and "Jane Doe", must be old enough but not posh enough to qualify to hang out about his shop.

What a shit!
  16:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  Rice speaks out of both side of mouth
US Secretary of State Condoleezza "Supertanker" Rice has criticised French plans to send an envoy to Iran to discuss the situations in Lebanon and Iraq. Speaking in Berlin she said that "I think we all need to stay focused on the fact that Iran is in violation of a Security Council resolution until it suspends its enrichment and reprocessing activities".

Hey. Didn't this woman just come from Israel where she spoke to Israeli government officials? Isn't it possible that there might be one or two Security Council resolutions that Israel might not be honouring as well?
  16:50:00 0 comments links to this post
  Stop press! UK minister speaks the truth!
He used to grate on my nerves but I find that Peter Hain, prospective candidate for the Labour Party deputy leadership, is now growing on me with his assertion that the Bush administration is the most right wing in living memory.

"It’s not only failed to provide a coherent international policy, it’s failed wherever it’s been tried, and it’s failed with the American electorate, who kicked it into touch last November. The problem for us as a government…was actually to maintain a working relationship with what was the most right-wing American administration, if not ever, then in living memory."

Yeah. I think I could grow to like him.
  16:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  God believes in climate change...George Bush says she's wrong!
I'm serious. God believes in climate change. It says so right here.

Does this mean that the voices in George Bush's head aren't God after all?
  16:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Farewell to a very funny man
American humourist and commentator, Art Buchwald, has finally succumbed at the age of 81. He shall be missed.
  16:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  A pattern of abuse
Alleged evildoers in the custody of the American government in Cuba and elsewhere, wherever that may be, are likely to be abused, in not tortured, by their jailers but the abuse of non-citizens doesn't seem to stop there. The Washington Post carries a story re a US government report about the abuse of illegal immigrants in detention centres and jails throughout the country. The Department of Homeland Security said that the report, which was months late, a problem DHS officials blamed on the scope of the inquiry being reduced (???), showed no pattern of mistreatment but critics called the report a whitewash which overlooked the most grievous ill treatment. Judy Rabinovitz, an ACLU lawyer said: "It took two years for them to come out with this? It's incredibly disappointing."
  16:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  George Bush - lean, green, killing machine

“As far as I’m concerned there has not been one innocent person executed since I’ve become governor” George W. Bush as quoted by the AP 21/6/2000

I confess I never shared his outrageous belief in his own, and his state's, infallibility. One wonders if ever he can think that now that a 12th innocent man has been exonerated by DNA evidence in Dallas County, TX. That's right; twelve in ONE county in a little over five years. Hard to imagine that 232 people that he was responsible for sending to their deaths were guilty isn't it?

  15:36:00 1 comments links to this post
  Crime organises the rubbish
A German "eco-mafia" is transporting hazardous waste from Germany into Hungary and dumping it there. The dumps that have been uncovered to date will have to be returned to Germany to be disposed of at the expense of the German state.

It reminds me of The Sopranos.
  14:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  The last boy scout
We're having a quite blustery day here in Sarf London. It is, in fact, rather windy all over Old Blighty today. How windy is it? I've seen two old ladies blown off their feet. Both of whom, I should add, I gallantly helped back to their feet and then assisted them in gathering up their shopping which had gone tumbling from their trolleys. Unfortunately in one case some egg met a grisly end and had to be left behind.

Now please excuse me whilst I go sit down and feel smug and generally good about myself.
  14:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  This is satire, right? Isn’t' it?
When he leaves office George W. Bush plans to open a think tank to promote “compassionate conservatism” (and possibly the death penalty). (Snicker, snicker, tee hee!)
  13:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  BAE save British lives...
...by bribing Saudi princes. That is sort of the argument made by British Attorney General Lord Goldsmith today when he suggested that British civilian and military lives were at "risk...if the case [against BAE Systems] had gone ahead". The comment was in response to a written question posed by Lib Dem leader Sir Menzies Campbell. However his response did not include the claim, put forward previously by the government, that MI5 and MI6 agree with the government's position on this as, well, they don't.
  12:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  Nominations now open for "Word of the Year" 2007
I know it is only slightly past the middle of January but I already have a favourite for 2007's "Word of the Year". It is going to have to be "surge". It now seems that the Americans want to "surge all over" (any sexual imagery in that phrase is purely coincidental). With fresh American troops already "surging" into Iraq the next likely candidate appears to be Afghanistan.

Whatever you do don't mention Iran. I did it once but I think I got away with it!
  12:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  Perhaps we can eat jellyfish and chips!
Cod stocks were in enough trouble already and it probably isn't helpful to them that climate change now also threatens them in the form of increased jellyfish numbers off British coasts. The jellyfish will compete for the same food sources as the fish larvae do and as they are bigger, nastier and uglier the baby fish don't stand a chance.
  12:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  Military court says Nazis were right!
A military judge has ruled that Army Lt. Ehren Watada cannot use, as part of his defense, arguments that the Iraq war is illegal and therefore he has an obligation to defy orders to deploy there. Lt. Watada is undergoing a court martial and faces up to six years in prison plus dishonourable discharge from the service. So if he cannot make the argument that his orders were illegal the court is in fact saying that he must follow orders under all circumstances. This would seem to make the Nuremberg Defense viable. Perhaps those pesky Nazis weren't guilty after all.
  12:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Did I really say that (out loud)?"
American deputy assistant Secretary of Defense Charles “Cully” Stimson is distancing himself from remarks that he himself made that suggested that US corporations should bring economic pressure to bear on law firms that have the audacity to represent any of the evildoers in US custody at Guantánamo. Mr. Stimson's position now seems to be it was just the voices in his head and, as he really doesn't think this way, he shouldn't have said it aloud.

I feel much better now. Don't you?
  11:41:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bush and Gonzales condemn ordinary Americans to death by terror!
Remember when the Bush administration's warrantless eavesdropping on American citizens was so important that it couldn't be dropped otherwise American's would die? So why has the US government changed its mind and now decided that getting a FISA warrant isn't a problem after all? Perhaps they just no longer give a shit about the American people.

Michelle Malkin, for one, is not at all pleased by the decision.
  11:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Maliki has a whinge
Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki has told a British newspaper that the sooner that the US provides appropriate equipment for Iraqi forces the sooner American troops can go home. Wouldn't it be inappropriate to provide adequate equipment to foreign troops before adequate equipment is available to American troops? Wouldn't it?
  11:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  It's getting late
Why does the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists hate America? Clearly by moving the time on the Doomsday Clock two minutes closer to midnight, it is now five symbolic minutes before the Rapture, they are enabling our enemies, those that truly hate honest American values.

Just to confuse the issue though the Rapture Index is down 2 in heavy trading.
  10:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  Condi ♥'s Faux News
"My Fox guys, I love every single one of them." So saith US Secretary of State Condeleezza Rice.
  10:51:00 0 comments links to this post
17 January 2007
  What the world needs now...
...is better and fiercer weapons. Trust me. We do.
  17:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Not likely.
The European Union has vowed to launch a campaign for a worldwide ban on the use of the death penalty. Not whilst GW is President you don't!
  17:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Quite a bag of tricks
The Bush administration knows it faces an uphill battle over the next two years with both houses of Congress outside of its control. The President himself has pledged to work in a spirit of bipartisanship with the Democrats. In keeping with this pledge he is busy forcing seven US attorneys to resign so he can fill their positions without having to go through the Senate confirmation process.

Let's hear it for the "spirit of bipartisanship"!
  17:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  At least they are consistent
The American Family Association who was foremost among those who were so offended by Janet Jackson's breast a few years ago is sticking to the football theme. They caught the Faux network focusing on a bad, bad word on a t-shirt in last week's NFC playoff games and they are rather upset. They only have a still from the match broadcast on their website but they do warn about the "Graphic Content".

I think we should help them out. Click here to send a complaint to the Federal Communications Commission over the network's craven sexual sensationalism.

I am Jeff Stringer, Eagles supporter and Fox hater, and I approve this message!
  17:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  How did he miss the Muslims with a broadside like this?
Meet Frank D. Hargrove Sr, a Republican member of the Virginia House of Delegates. He dserves our praise. He has managed to anger both the black and Jewish communities with one just one statement. He is quoted as having likened an apology, by the state of Virginia, for slavery to asking the Jews to apologise for killing Jesus. He also apparently told a fellow member of the assembly, who happens to be Jewish, that his "skin was a little too thin".

He is obviously quite a guy and I think I shall have him as my hero for the balance of the day.
  16:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  The gays did it!
I am sure that the rabid right wing of American politics will agree with me that with current statistics now proving that traditional marriage is in ruins we must lay the blame for all of this at the feet of the Gay Lobby. More than half of American women are now without a spouse. There is no word as to whether they are happy or not now but I did hear something about a fish and a bicycle!
  16:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  Everything sounds better in French
Yesterday I wrote about the trials and tribulations of Silvio Berlusconi who has had some, but fortunately not all, of the charges against him dropped because of a law on the statute of limitations that was brought in under his stewardship of the Italian state.

Today we find that the French may have it right and that Jacques Chirac, currently immune from prosecution as the French head of state, could face prosecution after he leaves office because of a law that was brought in by his government.

I prefer the French way myself.
  16:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I...just...can't...let...go"
I think I am beginning to understand how Gordon Brown must feel. We've all had the odd house guest who has overstayed their welcome. Whatever the deal may (or may not) have been that the Chancellor and Tony Blair made over dinner that night all those years ago it certainly is time for the PM to move on. He just can't seem to face up to it now saying that he doesn't intend to clear out of Downing Street until after the European Union summit in June. After that I am sure he will be tied up with the attack on Iran and then something else and then something else and then something else ad nauseum.
  16:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  The pinnacle of British corruption
No matter how much Tony Blair wishes them to the scandals surrounding BAE Systems and their sales techniques will just not go away. Senior executives, including the current CEO, have been named as suspects by the Serious Fraud Office.

It is important that we should be careful not to overlook the fact that, in additional to their suspect business practices, the product that they sell is, well, basically death.
  16:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  "The Greatest" turns 65
And he was the greatest. Happy Birthday to Muhammad Ali. I hope it is not his last!
  16:05:00 0 comments links to this post
16 January 2007
  This is news?
British gap year travellers go to Australia and drink and do drugs. They probably shag a bit too, smoke cigarettes and get sun burnt. Yawn.
  17:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  One shag and your out
A ruling by a court in Michigan means that anyone committing adultery in the state could be charged with "first degree criminal sexual conduct" (whatever that is supposed to be) which can lead, if convicted, to life in prison.

Why not? It makes at least as much sense as sending someone away forever for stealing bed sheets under the three strikes laws.
  17:19:00 1 comments links to this post
  If Blair won't do it let's hope that somebody will
The BAE scandal just won't go away for Tony Blair. This morning came news (see pot below) that MI6 was refuting his suggestion that an inquiry into alleged bribery, that implicated Saudi princes among others, related to the deal to sell EuroFighters to Saudi Arabia had to be cancelled in the interests of national security. Now comes word that the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development will press the government to explain the cancellation of the probe. The UK is a signatory to the OECD anti-bribery convention and therefore will be put in an uncomfortable position.

I shall sit back and enjoy the spectacle!
  17:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  No one expected the Serbs and the Croats
Tennis hooligans. Who would have thought it possible? A bunch of clean cut, middle class folk on a day out at the tennis would seem rather unlikely to start beating the shit out of each other but perhaps we were wrong.
  17:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  Peace in her time or on her schedule or not at all
US Secretary of State blows her own horn by hailing planned tripartite discussions between the Americans, Israelis and the Palestinians as the most significant in six years. Hmmm. Six years. Why haven't there been any other serious discussions for six years?

Because the Bush administration has been in power for six long, horrible, destructive, bloody years! That's why.
  16:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Death by penmanship
Before you select your next GP you might want to ask your preferred candidate for a handwriting sample. Time magazine reports that over 7,000 Americans die each year due to mistakes with medication or other treatment due to their doctors’ poor penmanship.

With the US spending more per capita on healthcare than any other country, despite a materiel percentage of the population having little or no access, why the hell are any prescriptions still handwritten. Here in Old Blighty with our nasty, socialist National Health Service all of the prescriptions are printed by computer on a handy little form.

Get your act together will you?
  16:43:00 0 comments links to this post
  The freedom agenda rides into the sunset
The Bush administration: they were for democracy before they were against it! This NY Times article states that the US has apparently decided that stability is the current priority over freedom and Ms. Rice isn't mentioning democracy or human rights or anything truly contentious during her current visit to Egypt. I wonder if slavery will come up because that is how they built the pyramids!

Excuse me for shouting but IF YOU'D THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU BLOODY INVADED IRAQ THERE MIGHT BE A TOUCH OF FUCKING STABILITY NOW YOU STUPID TWATS!

That has made me feel much better indeed.
  15:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  He's in
Senator Barrack Obama has tipped his hand as regards plans to run for President in two years time.

Personally I'm not sure he is either ready or the right candidate but as any candidate I would wholeheartedly support has about a zero percent chance of winning I'm probably not the best person to ask.

In the meantime Faux News will undoubtedly keep referring to him as Osama, by accident of course, and slandering him in other ways, ever so subtly of course.
  15:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  More proof that Americans have no sense of irony
From a press release from the Institute on Religion and Democracy:

"IRD joins the President and Gateways to Better Education which is leading a national campaign to raise awareness about Religious Freedom Day. Gateways helps public schools teach Judeo-Christian history, thought, and values." (Emphasis mine.)

Via the ever useful Christian Newswire!
  14:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  But is it art?
Brian Haw spent most of the past six year protesting the situation in Iraq in Parliament Square. The government even passed a law, the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act, specifically targeting his protest. SOCAPA made all protests within one kilometre of the Palace of Westminster illegal unless they had prior permission. The application of the law to Mr. Haw was first ruled out by the courts but then later reinstated. He still remains there with a dramatically reduced supply of placards and banners.

Now artist Mark Wallinger has recreated much of Mr. Haws display in an exhibition at Tate Britain, most of which happens to lie within the Westminster exclusion zone, entitled "State Britain. Mr. Haw was at the opening and is quoted as having said "they've done me proud".

There is no word as to whether the old Bill consider the exhibition a protest in itself which has no prior police permission and therefore it is unknown if they will raid it and cart off the placards once again.


  14:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Orange Revolution fades to black
The powers of Ukrainian President Viktor Yushchenko have been severely reduced after the Parliament overrode his veto of a bill that shifts power from the President to the Prime Minister. Mr. Yushchenko has been engaged in a power struggle with his on again, off again ally Yulia Timoshenko. Ms. Timoshenko and her party have again turned against Yushchenko and she is known to harbour her own Presidential ambitions.
  14:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  I've had too much, the boozer bus
The Irish are worried about the effect on rural life of actually enforcing drink drive limits so Éamon Ó'Cuív, the government's minister for community, rural and Gaeltacht affairs, has proposed late night bus routes, undoubtedly focusing on pubs, as the answer to the problem. Why don't they just do what Americans do and drive anyway? After all public transport is for the poor or the failed. Just ask Maggie Thatcher. Whatever happens I am sure it will make for an interesting and entertaining ride home!
  13:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Looking out for number one
Former Italian Prime Minister and medial mogul Silvio Berlusconi and British lawyer David Mills, estranged husband of New Labour minister Tessa Jowell, are on trail in Italy for fraud, embezzlement, false accounting and receipt of stolen goods. Yesterday a number of the charges that the two were facing were dropped by prosecutors.

"Why" you may ask. Because of a change to the law on the statute of limitations brought in whilst Mr. Berlusconi was in power. Sweet. Isn't he one of Dubya's buddies?
  13:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bienvenue vers le Royaume-Uni républicain de la France, la Grande-Bretagne et L'Irlande du Nord
Ok. This is just too weird to contemplate. In the year of my birth, 1956, France and the UK had serious discussions about merging with the Queen becoming the French head of state. There is no doubt that the world would be substantively different today but when I try and imagine how my head just hurts.

I don't think George Bush would have liked it though and if the new country hadn't gone along with the war in Iraq I am sure there would have a campaign to eliminate English and boost FreedomSpeak as the new official language (or perhaps Spanish!).
  13:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  BAE can run but it can't hide
They are paid to know things like this. It's their job. So why is MI6, the super secret British intelligence service, telling us that an investigation into alleged kickbacks in the BAE deal to sell Saudi Arabia EuroFighters posed no threat to national security. This supposed threat was ostensibly the reason that the SFO inquiry into the deal was abruptly cancelled by the government as the Saudis were said to be threatening to call a halt to intelligence cooperation if the inquiry went forward.

Tony wouldn't be lying to us (again), would he? I am offering 5 - 1 on that he ends up on the BAE board.
  13:16:00 0 comments links to this post
15 January 2007
  This made me chuckle
The Tobacco Asia Expo is slated for this week in Hong Kong but there's one teeny, tiny little problem. Hong Kong went smokeless at the beginning of the year. Oh my.
  15:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  If only....
...the United Methodists did excommunication!

George W. would be looking for a new church! Well maybe he would if something as silly as a starting an ILLEGAL WAR would be considered reasonable cause.
  15:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why is the Iraq surge like a software implementation?
Well sit back, relax and let me tell you!

It would be a gross oversimplification to say that there are only two ways to manage a software design and implementation project but humour me for the moment. I have years of experience in the industry in the US, Europe and the Far East so I do know whereof I speak.

Method 1: a team consisting of management and / or IT only, or at least predominately so, decides what will be done, by whom and when. These projects generally, but I admit not always, end in abject failure.

Method 2: a team consisting of operational management, operation users and IT staff of all levels performs the business analysis, scopes the task, enlists design, coding and implementation teams of volunteers and jointly manages the project. The end users are considered owners of the project and make the ultimate decisions. These projects have a higher probability of success and user satisfaction. Given that we are talking about IT here the failure rate is still rather high.

It would seem Bush&co have opted for method 1 for the surge project and guess what, the end users, the Iraqis, aren't well pleased with a project mapped out in Washington without a great deal of their input.

I mean whose fucking country is it anyway? Oh yeah, I forgot, it's ExxonMobilShellBPFinaTotalLukol's country.
  15:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  Surge to victory! (But slowly.)
I have a question. How long does a "surge" usually last? I would have thought that it was sudden and relatively short-lived. US General George Casey doesn't necessarily agree with me.
  14:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Sticks and stones may break my bones but does the C-word offend me?
I am fairly certain that you won't be seeing Auntie's planned I Love the C-word documentary coming to American television screens anytime soon. Maybe it'll be shown in Canada and you can slip across the border, remembering to take your passport of course, to watch it.
  14:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Life Jim but not as we know it"
European scientists have found a new life form in the Arctic Ocean. The organisms, christened picobiliphytes, are plant-like, fluorescent and very, very small. Team member Dr. Connie Lovejoy said that "the divergence of this group from known organisms is as great as the difference between land plants and animals".

Whether they will survive global warming is open to question.
  13:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Maybe we need to switch to GPS"
The so-called "Roadmap for Peace" seems to have been torn up and blown out the window by Israel's announcement of plans for expansion of their illegal settlement activity on the West Bank. That the timing was such that the news came during a visit to Israel by US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is clearly an expression of their confidence that there will be no resistance from the Bush administration no matter how outrageous their provocation. Ms. Rice is still smiling.
  13:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  It depends on what the meaning of "IF" is
The fact the Rupert Murdoch's Newscorp scrapped plans to publish OJ Simpson's "hypothetical" account of the murder of his ex-wife, entitled If I Did It, has cheated us all of a glimpse into the scary recesses of his mind.

Now Newsweek magazine lets us in on some of what was to be in it including a chapter that certainly appears to be a confession to the crime but which Mr. Simpson unbelievingly claims is fictional.

I think it fits like a glove.
  13:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  The must miss tour
80's / 90's rubbish pop act Wet Wet Wet are planning to reunite and tour the country. I am absolutely certain I will be able to find something better to do even if it is only setting my bollocks on fire.
  13:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  He'll be watching you
Britain must surely already fall very low on the privacy rankings. CCTV everywhere. Plans for ID cards. Now the Right Honourable Tony Blair wants to create a centralised government database to allow sharing of private information across departments.

From an IT perspective is it the right thing to do? Possibly. From a privacy and human rights perspective it the right thing to do, especially given the government's recent record with massive IT projects (think NHS). Almost certainly not!
  13:17:00 0 comments links to this post
  There was a crooked company...
BAE Systems just can't seem to get out of the news these days. First it was the cancellation of the probe, citing "national security", into its multi-billion pound deal with the Saudi's for EuroFighters. Then news got out that the Serious Fraud Office was investigating claims of bribery in another multi-billion pound deal with South Africa. Now comes word that the SFO is also investigating allegations of a 12 million USD payment to a middleman, that represented 30% of the value of the entire contract, in a deal to sell Tanzania a sophisticated military radar system it almost certainly didn't require.

Tony Blair's influence also looms large in all of these deals. What's the betting he ends up on the BAE board after his "retirement"?
  13:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  n.b. - Don't forget to kneel
Emperor George the Last is acting more monarchical everyday. He made his "historic" speech on Wednesday and the reaction from both the public and the political class has generally been scornful. Nonetheless he is certain that he, and only he, knows what is best and plans to surge ever upwards regardless and no one, and he does mean no one, can stop him.

I pity those who will have to die in support of this twisted vision.
  12:50:00 0 comments links to this post
  Douglas Adams as prophet. Scary, eh?
If scientists are truly working, using cloning and genetic modification, to create docile cloned livestock that won't suffer overly great angst over their impending execution can the "Dish of the Day" be far behind?
  11:58:00 0 comments links to this post
14 January 2007
  If you have a kid with special needs who needs an education - get rich
Why do I feel such a compunction to pick on New Labour homophobe and minister Ruth Kelly? Frankly I don't know but it is clear that I do.

Hence my enjoyment of a story from the Times this morning that points out that during her single full year of tenure at the Department of Education she was responsible for elimination of over 2,600 special needs school places. Fortunately for her son she just happened to have 15,000 pounds sitting in the cupboard gathering dust and could therefore afford to pull him out of state school and send him trundling off to private boarding school.

It's the New Labour way.
  14:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  Screwing the Palestinians
Is the US trying to coerce the Palestinians into accepting a "temporary" state inside of "temporary" borders? If they aren't why did the Palestinian President find it necessary yesterday to tell the US Secretary of State, in public, that such a proposal is unacceptable. It is obvious that this so called solution is simply a transparent attempt to solidify the current state of affairs and would rapidly become a fait accompli.
  13:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bush on the road to Kyoto?
Is George Bush going to make history in his state of the union speech later this month by throwing Tony Blair a bone and announce that he has seen the light on climate change?

Somehow I doubt it unless he decides to highlight the good things about climate change.

Maybe I'm wrong. We'll see.

  13:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Pity the poor noveau riche of the future
It's alright for the City wide boys today. They can get their year end bonus that is equal to several middle class salaries and use it to buy that home away from home in the Alps. But their unfortuante successors, in twenty years time or so, will be horribly disappointed after shelling out big bucks for a chalet in Gstaad, strapping the skies onto the Merc, installing the girlfriend and her new breasts in the front seat wrapped in fur only to arrive and find that there's no fucking snow.

It is clear that we need to take drastic action in order to save the world for the jet setters of tomorrow.
  13:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Look - I never would have given you the job if I knew you were actually going to do it!"
Sir Alistair Graham is the UK's parliamentary ethics watchdog and his contract comes up for renewal in April shortly before we wave bye-bye to Tony B. The trouble is he has made a habit of making trouble for government ministers and it looks like, in what may prove to be the Prime Minister's final act of disdain for the electorate, his contract is unlikely to be renewed. The best quote from the article:

"The threat to Graham comes as Gordon Brown is drawing up secret plans to restore public trust in politics."

I guess if he told us about these plans he would have to kill us!
  13:02:00 0 comments links to this post
13 January 2007
  A politcal scandal to dream about
I would pay big money (this is meant figuratively as I haven’t actually got big money) if the soap opera currently being played out on the Czech political scene were transplanted to America (or even Britain for that matter). Mirek Topolánek, 50, is estranged from his wife of over twenty five years, Pavla Topolánková and is living with his 39 year old mistress and co-worker who is also pregnant.

I can hear you already. What’s the big deal? While this does not represent the kind of terminal challenge to “traditional marriage” that two blokes holding hands does it does become a bit more significant when you notice that Mr. Topolánek is the Czech Prime Minister. For some reason Ms. Topolánková is encouraging members of parliament to defeat the Prime Minister’s party in a vote of confidence next week. Hell hath no fury as they say.

But imagine it folks; a bitter and abandoned Laura Bush, with the twins in tow no doubt, making the rounds of the chat shows and the morning soft news programmes, whilst in the background there are photos of the President and his mistress, let’s say, Ann Coulter, for example. (This assumes Ms. Coulter is indeed a woman of course. I’ve always been suspicious of that Adam’s apple.) Mr. Bush would yearn for those halcyon days when his approval rating was a lofty 30%.
  16:07:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Going my way big boy?"
Should any of you happen to be in Mississauga, Ontario at the moment and are planning on driving a good distance south west in the near future would you please give Nathalie Karvonen a ring at the Toronto Wildlife Center? She has a cuddly black and white animal that needs returning to California and that is unable to fly. It would be preferable if you were anosmiac and didn't drive a high value late model car as the critter in question is a skunk.
  15:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  How binge drinking can end global warming
The process is simple. One goes down the pub and drinks vast quantities of beer, preferably real ale. One's body, assuming one's liver and kidneys are still functioning, turns the beer into intoxication, body fat, belches and urine.

Then, presto chango, with the able assistance of some scientists, one turns the urine into electricity. Problem solved!

There do seem to be one or two little details that need to be worked out but I am extremely optimistic. So, in the interest of science, for the rest of the day I may be found in my local.
  14:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Secretary Rice clairvoyant
US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has stirred up the Iraqi Kurds by stating that the, as yet unwritten, Iraqi oil regulations does not give the Kurds sovereignty over the oil in their reason.

How the US official has such great insight into the future legislation of an independent country is not, as yet, explained. I wonder if she can pick horses too.
  14:46:00 1 comments links to this post
  "I told you not to prosecute OUR criminals damn it"
President Bush has asked for the resignation of San Diego US Attorney Carole Lam. The reasons for the sacking are unclear but she had focused on corruption and white collar crime. One of he "victims" was Republican Congressman Randall "Duke" Cunningham. The firing of a US Prosecutor for reasons other than misconduct in office is virtually unheard of.

Whatever the reason is I am certain it is not politically motivated in any way.
  14:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Pentagon threatens law firms over detainees
Charles D. Stimson is the American deputy assistant secretary of defense for detainee affairs at the Pentagon and in an interview on Wednesday he castigated top US law firms for having the temerity to represent US detainees at Guantánamo Bay and called on their corporate clients to boycott the firms.

This is just appalling and there is no doubt that he should be sacked post haste which means, of course, that he is likely to be promoted. There is absolutely no place in what is supposed to be an open and free society, purportedly based on the rule of law, for a government official to suggest that lawyers should make decisions on whom they will represent based on governmental pressure nor for that pressure to be applied to third parties by the government to ensure that it demands are followed.

How far will this administration go in asserting its extra-Constitutional authority? How far will the American public allow it to go?
  14:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  The company one keeps
What do Somalia and the United States have in common? If you discount the "war on Terra", the US wants to fight it and it wants to fight it there, the only other thing that comes to mind is that they are the only two United Nations members to have the dubious distinction of not having ratified the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

We only hang with the best and brightest!
  13:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  Just don't tell Jeff Wayne!
Scientists believe they have found an explanation as to why I am small and green. I, along with the rest of you, may have started out on Mars.

The theory, which is still very controversial, suggests that life started on Mars billions of years ago and then was transferred to Earth by meteorites. Experiments conducted by a team that included staff from Britain's Open University have found that lichen, bacterial and cyanobacteria appear to be capable of surviving the force of impact.

Should more evidence point to this as a likely theory I wonder how the creationists will deal with this. Oh yeah, they'll just ignore it like all other evidence, won't they?
  11:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  New fronts, new wars, new disasters
Will Somalia become the new Afghanistan (at least without opium)? Some people think so. I am not so sure but there is certainly a material risk of it happening as the "War on Terra" descends into, at best, a version of Whack-a-Mole and, at worst, farce.

Meanwhile back in Blighty the lame duck Prime Minister is urging his successor to ensure that Britain stays on the team by spending lots of money on defence allowing the country to continue to fight above its weight on the global scene.
  11:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  We are the NRA and we approve this plan!
As soon as gray wolves come off of the endangered species list in the US the governor of Idaho has a cunning plan of what to do with them: Kill 'em!

I never said it was a good plan.
  11:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Yo! Which one's the quaterback?"
Poor Everton. They will always be the second choice club in Liverpool by a long shot. Now they have the ignominy of being visited by a second tier film "star" in the form of Sylvester Stallone. The aged "star" of Rocky whatever-number-he's-up-to-now is planning to see the match with Reading (a hint for Mr. Stallone - Reading isn't in Pennsylvania) this afternoon. I wonder if, when they told him they were going to a football match, he imagined huge men dressed in Kevlar uniforms.

Now if Philadelphia is really lucky they can get someone to sneak the statue of Rocky away from the Art Museum, where it definitely does not belong, and ship it off to Goodison. I'm sure the Scousers would love it.
  10:46:00 0 comments links to this post
12 January 2007
  Are your kids fat? Best call a solicitor
I am not sure how this story about two brothers who have been convicted of animal cruelty for allowing their dog to get scary-fat relates to Britain's child obesity epidemic but there must be one.

If one can be prosecuted and convicted for allowing this to happen to a pet there must me some measures that can be taken against parents who do it to their kids. Right?
  17:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  Speak two languages - keep your wits about you
A Canadian study shows that lifelong bilingualism has the effect of delaying the onset of dementia by four years.

Good news for the Belgians, Canadians, Swiss and American Hispanics. Bad news for the English and most Americans.

Who is going to break this to the only English in America folks? Volunteers? Anyone?
  16:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  This would interest Ben Franklin
There is a gene which makes people more likely to go to bed and then to rise early and now scientists have found it!

Do you think that there is a gene that makes you want to stay up late and makes it impossible to get out of bed in the morning? If they haven't found that one yet they could do worse than taking samples from me.
  16:26:00 0 comments links to this post
  Don't ask, don't tell...
...and whatever you do don't get your kit off.

Air Force Staff Sergeant Michelle Manhart posed nude for Playboy Magazine and her pictures are in the current issue. As soon as the Air Force found out they stripped her (sorry couldn't resist) of her duties.

The married mother of two said "I didn't do anything wrong, so I didn't think it would be a major issue." Wrong again Michelle. Of course had you left your uniform on and then showed up at a political rally in support of, say, President Bush in violation of regulations, that probably would have been overlooked.

It's the naked thing they don't like. (Oh, and the gay thing as well!)
  16:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  Balancing the US budget gets harder
The US Internal Revenue Service is giving businesses preferential treatment by closing audits early on relatively generous terms according to staff at the tax authority.

Anyone surprised?
  16:07:00 0 comments links to this post
  The next thing you know they'll accept orders in Spanish!
The continued existence of civilisation in Texas, in a precarious state to begin with, now hangs in the balance after Pizza Patron a chain of eateries in the US Southwest announced that it would begin accepting Mexican Pesos in all of its outlets.

I think it is time for a law and I am certain that there are hordes of wingnuts who agree with me!
  15:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Listening to Privates on the ground
President Bush said he would listen to the Generals on the ground. Maybe he did listen to them but then he disregarded what they said.

Perhaps it would be a wise idea if he were to give a shot to listening to the Privates and NCOs on the ground (reg. reqd.) in Iraq, after all they are the ones who actually do the work and will have to carry out his hare-brained schemes. To quote one of them, one Spec. Daniel Caldwell of Montesano, WA:

"The general feeling among us is we're not really doing anything here. We clear one neighborhood, then another one fires up. It's an ongoing battle. It never ends."

  15:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Count the flaws
I think that Zbigniew Brzezinski must have written his OpEd piece in today's Washington Post, entitled "Five Flaws in the President's Plan", with one hand tied behind his back. I mean five is really just getting started isn't it?
  15:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  Who is in charge here?
The Iraqi government issues visas to Iranian government employees to work for in a liaison office in the north of the country. The US doesn't seem to give a damn, storms the office and takes the Iranis prisoner. The Iraqi government says that the Iranis were working with the full knowledge of the government and informs the US of this. The Iranis remain in US custody.
George really wants a new front to open up doesn't he?
  14:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  Luis Posada Carriles - America's kind of terrorist
Sometimes, in the world as it is today, one can be labelled a terrorist simply for fighting for freedom and self-determination in places like Palestine, Chechnya or Mexico.

Sometimes, even though you are accused of, and reputed to have admitted to, bombing planes and hotels you are still labelled a militant.

Why?

Note: Senor Posada has finally been charged with something in the US, albeit lying to immigration officials, but there remains no movement on requests for extradition to either Venezuela or Cuba to stand trial for acts of terror. Perhaps, if he is found guilty on the perjury charge they will inter him at Guantánamo.
  14:17:00 0 comments links to this post
  Spend it like Beckham
So David Beckham and his family are to emmigrate to America and see if they can get by in Los Angeles on £500,000 a week whilst spending the twilight of his career in the manner of George Best and Pele.

For those of you who don't know who Mr. Beckham is, and I assume that you are American if you don't, he is a football* player who used to be the captain of the England squad and who currently plays for Real Madrid. He is also married to Posh Spice (aka Victoria Beckham) and has had a film more or less dedicated to him.

Moving to the US means the end of his top flight career which has seen him win a number of trophies at Manchester United but not a lot in Spain where he is currently out of favour. (Sorry but the US pro league is roughly the equivalent of the first division in England, perhaps the bottom of the Championship. In baseball terms think double A.)

Of course moving to LA and probably settling somewhere in Beverley Hills will mean a lot to the Beckham family.
The good news for US here in Britain will be that the family will be over there!

*Note. He plays football, using his feet, which should not be confused with American football, where the feet are only used to keep the behemoths that play it from falling over. The American term for the game, soccer, is actually an English word and is an abbreviation of sorts for Association Football.)
  13:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Homesickness
Sometimes, living in Britain, I realise how much I am missing by no longer living in America. For instance, the United Kingdom can offer nothing to rival this illustrious event. How I wish I could go.

I mean look at the list of speakers signed up so far:
It's a veritable wankfest for the 101st Keyboarders!
  12:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  A very, very bad idea
I hear news from my old home town that Bush senior is to be made Chairman of the Board of the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia. If he is such an expert on the Constitution, which I sincerely doubt, his time would be better servered tutoring his son about the differences between an Emperor and a President.

Will Bunch weighs in on the matter.
  11:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Farewell Lilly
Alright. I admit it. I might have, in my preteen years, harboured some bizarre fantasies involving Lilly Munster. Who didn't?
I'm sorry to see her go.
  11:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Somalia strikes another failure
Will the fact that US air strikes were an abject failure in their purported aim to kill al Qaeda suspects Fazul Abdullah Mohammed, Abu Taha al-Sudan and Saleh Ali Saleh Nabhan get as much space in the American press as the strikes themselves? Probably not.

Will the suspect timing of the raids, less than forty eight hours before Bush's speech on Iraq and the "Global War on Terra" (G-Wart), be noted? Probably not.

Today's New York Times article merely notes that some very, very bad people were killed even though they were not the ones targeted. So "Mission Accomplished" then. (As far as I can tell this didn't make the front page - but a story about David Beckham's transfer to LA did.)
  11:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  Israel for the Jews (only)!
The rabid Israeli right has its knickers in a twist over the appointment of an Arab to a cabinet post in the coalition government for the first time. In a statement whose naked and unapologetic racism is staggering, Esterina Tartman, chairwoman of Israel Our Home, told Israel radio:

"I call on the prime minister not to approve this appointment ... in order to protect the state of Israel's interest as a Jewish and Zionist state."

Perhaps Jimmy Carter is right. I await with trepidation the foaming torrent of outrage and abuse from the Zionosphere.
  11:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  The minster's son and the public interest
I have bad news for Ruth Kelly. She is set to refer the Daily Mirror to the Press Complaints Commission over its story about her son's schooling. I have news for you Ms. Kelly. When the former Education Secretary, who is still part of the government, takes responsibility for her children's education, irrespective of the reason, out of the public sector and puts it into the hands of the private sector at a cost of £15,000 per annum she is saying that public sector education is not good enough for her children and therefore, by inference, for anyone else.

I'm sorry Ms. Kelly but this story is very much in the public interest. I am certain that the PCC will agree with me.
  10:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  The glass bead game
Someone is screwing around with the supply of a basic commodity to the UK. Batches of cannabis, apparently sprayed with tiny glass beads is appearing throughout the country. So this is probably a good time to switch to resin or give up, if that was one of your New Year's resolutions.
  10:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bush stands alone
I can only assume that President Bush isn't a supporter of Liverpool FC.

First of all I imagine that the great game of football isn't nearly macho enough for him. Secondly, given the reaction from both sides of the aisle to his Bold New Plan for Victory in the War on Terra, the club's theme song, You'll Never Walk Alone, would be too profoundly ironic for someone of his limited intellectual capacity.
  10:38:00 0 comments links to this post
11 January 2007
  Looking for leadership
Human Rights Watch publishes its annual world report today on the fifth anniversary of the American gulag. Given the seemingly inexorable slide of the United States away from the cause of, or belief in, human rights the organisation asks the European Union to fill the vacuum.

"Since the US can't provide credible leadership on human rights, European countries must pick up the slack."

I recognise that America has never been perfect on human rights, no country has, but did I ever think I would see the day when I would find the following in a report from a respected, international human rights organisation? I think not.

"The new US Congress must act now to remedy the worst abuses of the Bush administration. Without firm and principled congressional action, the loss of US leadership on human rights will likely persist." (Emphasis mine.)

Full report here.
  17:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  Extra! Extra! Islamoarachnids invade Vermont! Civilisation at stake!
What I want to know is just how did this dastardly, undoubtedly Muslim scorpion manage to get through security at O'Hare?
  17:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  "So where's all the craic then?"
Dublin apparently. Scientists in Ireland have been inspecting Irish Euro notes for traces of cocaine. When they find one that hasn't been in contact with the drug they promise to let us know.
  17:14:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bully kicks sand
Call me cynical but I think it just might be possible that American forces might well have wished to provoke an incident when they stormed the Iranian consulate in Irbil.

No. I guess I'm just being silly, right? Right?
  17:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  American schools just get wierder and wierder
A school district in Washington state has effectively banned the showing of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth at any school in the district by requiring that a "credible, legitimate opposing view...be presented". ExxonMobil said that it was impossible for them to bribe and / or coerce sufficient "scientists" to make this possible given the time allowed.

It seems that the decision was driven by the complaint of one (1) parent by them name of Frosty Hardison, a father of seven who believes that the Earth is 14,000 years old. He said:
"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher. The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is. ... The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."
Doesn't Mr. Hardison realise that Al was just saving all that for the sequel?

Curiously the introduction of this policy means that they will no longer be able to use any statements by the US (or any other) government in class and, in fact, all education will cease immediately. School board officials do view this as unfortunate but have discovered that it will have an extremely favourable impact on their finances.

Well done Frosty!
  16:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  Anyone any good at maths?
Does 21,500 minus 3,000 still count as a surge?
  15:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  It's a start...
...but it's not enough and it is certainly almost meaningless unless the US sets equal or more aggressive targets. The European Commission has called on all member states to reduce their carbon emissions to no more than 80% of what they were in 1990 by 2020.

It is meant to serve as an example for other countries, largely China, India and arch-offender the US, but will they take any notice?
  15:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Guns don't kill people...
...gun owners do!
  15:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  (Not) forgetting Darfur
If it sticks, and history suggests that it may not, the ceasefire agreed to yesterday in Darfur, Sudan will be welcome news indeed.
  15:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Dying for corporate interests?
A significant percentage of the American soldiers who have died or been seriously injured in Iraq, as well as those of other countries, have done so at the hands of rocket propelled grenades (RPGs). Israel has developed a system that would seem to offer soldiers protection against these weapons but the Army doesn't want to use it saying that it isn't combat ready and preferring to wait for its own system that is being developed at a cost of seventy million USD by Raytheon. Tests conducted by the Pentagon on the "Trophy" have indicated that it is more than 98% effective.

One wonders why, or doesn't wonder why, as the case may be.
  14:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Second thoughts
I just had another glance through the transcript of Bush's speech last night, thereby avoiding to actually hear his voice or see his face, and I see that there is something I missed at first glance. He talks about terror, terrorist and the "global war on terror" but he never defines what his strategy is in that regard nor does he tell us how will know if we have won or at least aren't losing.
  14:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  More on jaywalking
For those Brits, and other Europeans, unaware of the dangers of jaywalking (see post below) in America, Land of the Free, the BBC provides a handy guide to the seemingly innocuous offence.
  14:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Concerned about global warming?
Don't know where to start? Why not give this a shot? I come pretty close except for bananas!
  12:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  Just for laughs
I don't whether this book will end up a classic like The Joys of Yiddish but the video made me laugh.
  12:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why the NYFD should listen to John Prine
If they were more familiar with this song they would probably realise how silly this is.
  12:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  Five years on (continued)
To "celebrate" the fifth anniversary of America's gulag you can go here to be reminded of what we've already lost.
  12:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  For the bored and the boring
I give you Cheddarvision TV and remember real cheddar doesn't come from America!

Hey look, I said it was boring!
  12:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Defiance and delusion"
The headline on this morning's Guardian leader says it all really.

"In opting for a troop surge, Mr Bush has ignored the message of the mid-term elections, the Iraq Study Group, Congress, his own top generals and most world opinion . US generals have difficulty enough maintaining current levels of combat-ready troops and are not convinced that more troops will make any difference. Rather than listen to them, Mr Bush has turned to the right, to those who argue that honour and the America's national interests require fighting on. One senses that 'honour' is the more important of the two." (Emphasis mine.)

(OK. So I've already broken my promise not to write about Bush today. Sorry.)
  12:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  Jaywalking in Atlanta
Just don't do it. Not even (or perhaps especially) if you are a famous historian.

For my British readers jaywalking is crossing the street other than at an intersection or pedestrian crossing and, believe it or not, is considered an offence in most American states.
  11:58:00 0 comments links to this post
  Stop him before he sings again!
How annoying is Gary Glitter? Annoying enough that his prison mates have nominated him for early release from prison in Vietnam. They probably just couldn't stand to hear I'm the Leader of the Gang one more time in the shower.

The bad news is that he is likely to be forced to return to the UK upon his release.
  11:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Five years on
David Hicks is an Australian citizen (and an ex-British citzen - see below), aconvert to Islam and an inmate in US custody in Cuba. Is the case against him strong, as the head American military prosecutor* at Guantánamo Bay alleges or is it weak as his own lawyer suggests?

Does it really matter? He has been in custody for five years now and there still have been no charges brought against him. He has been more or les abandoned to his fate by the Australian government and PM John Howard. The courts in Britain forced the government here to grant him citizenship which they did, grudgingly, and then revoked it hours later. He says, via his lawyer, that he has been raped and tortured whilst in American custody.

Even if the American authorities charge him in six months time as they indicate they just might do if they get around to it what will be the result? It is hard to believe that they will allow him to be found innocent but even if found guilty of something what will happen if he is sentenced to less time than he has already served? Do they beam him back in time and let him out? Do they say "sorry mate" and invite him round for a barbie after he is released?

Whatever occurs even George Bush will be hard pressed to call it justice, even though he will.

*What does a Guantánamo prosecutor do exactly? Since they never seem to charge anyone does he spend his time