Maj. Gen. Stanley McChrystal of the US Army sent a memo to Gen. John Abizaid a week after the death in Afghanistan of former NFL star Pat Tillman altered Gen. Abizaid of the significant possibility that Tillman died as a result of friendly fire. He told the General that he "felt that it was essential that [Gen. Abizaid] received this information as soon as we detected it in order to preclude any unknowing statements by our country's leaders which might cause public embarrassment if the circumstances of Cpl. Tillman's death become public".

It was not until several weeks after the memo that Tillman's family was informed of what actually occurred. In the interim he was posthumously decorated for heroism.

Fortunately the White House has leapt into the fray and quickly clarified, via a spokesman, that despite the warning in the communication no one could remember informing the President of this and that the President himself cannot remember anything at all subsequent to an incident in Acapulco involving copious amounts tequila and "some sort of powdery substance" when he was in the Texas Air National Guard.

The American government doesn't have a plan for peak oil, a situation that will occur sometime in the next thirty years if it hasn't happened already, and the General Accounting Office thinks it ought to.

Of course, to go about planning for something that your owners , Big Oil if you're the Decider(TM), don't want the American people to think is a possibility, could prove a wee bit dicey.

Does the fact that the World Trade Organisation has now ruled that the American ban on off shore internet gambling is illegal mean that the executives of gambling firms, including one arrested just a few days ago in the Dominican Republic, get to go free?

After all the US makes the rules - it shouldn't have to follow them!

A Federal judge has ruled that Creekstone Farms Premium Beef of Kansas cannot be prevented by the government from testing all of its cattle for bovine spongiform encephalopathy (mad cow disease). The USDA currently performs all of the testing done in the American marketplace but only tests a relatively small sample after having reduced its testing by around 90% last year.

The government's pursuit of the case has obviously at the behest of large meat packing companies who are afraid that they will have to follow suit if Creekstone Farms begins advertising its meat as 100% tested and safe.

Isn't this just the "free" market at work?

I am sure it was just a procedural foul up that cause Bush&Co to illegally alter forest service rules that "expedited logging and energy exploration, weakened wildlife protection, and shut the public out of forest planning". Aren't you?

The American "surge" of troops into Iraq (aka escalation) is well and truly underway but it is not only the Yanks who are refocusing their efforts. It would appear that al Qaeda's powers in the occupied Arab country are growing as well.

Should we call it a draw then?

I have nothing per se against attempts currently afoot to restart the campaign for passage of the Equal Rights Amendment. However, given the recent state of affairs I would prefer, if we are going to spend political capital on amending the US Constitution, that we work to eliminate the electoral college system and move to a direct popular vote for President.

Just think. Had it been in place seven years ago. No Dubya. No Iraq. No lots of other things.

The Islamic Republic of Iran has admitted that it withheld information from the United Nations International Atomic Energy Agency, after confidential information had leaked from the IAEA, because it, quite sensibly in my opinion, feared an attack from either the United States or Israel. The IAEA is awaiting a response from Iran over its requests to install CCTV surveillance Iran’s nuclear enrichment plant in Natanz.

Over fifty years ago fourteen year old Emmett Till was murdered in Mississippi for whistling at a white woman. On Thursday officials final released the results of his autopsy. He had been shot in the head and his wrists, skull and legs were fractured. Two white men were charged with the crime but found innocent by an all white jury. Both men, now dead, subsequently confessed to the crime in an interview in 1956 with Look magazine.

Those who have forgotten, along with those who are too young, may think of this as a primer.

Two highly decorated members of the 101st Keyboarders, Jeff Emanuel and Victoria Coates, are doffing their pyjamas and heading off to Iraq. They tell us why.

I wait with bated breath for their triumphant despatches from the front although I wonder if they, like the troops, will have to provide their own Kevlar vests.

In what may be a first for the Bush administration the Decider(TM) has apologised over the treatment of wounded and recovering veterans of the "War on Terra".

Now that he has learned how there are lots of other things he should apologise for such as:

The bright lights of Sydney went dim last night as the city promoted Earth Hour to encourage residents of the Australian city to reduce their CO2 emissions and thereby reduce global warming. The Aussies have their work cut out for them as they come second, among major nations, in per capita CO2 emissions after the US and ahead of Canada where home heating is more of an issue.

There were no reports of anyone in Sydney switching off the air conditioning.

The murder rate in Philadelphia continues to creep upwards with the 99th or 100th of the young year. Of course, thanks to the NRA, none of these murders were committed by guns but only by people with guns. I find that such a relief and I will undoubtedly fear so much safer then next time I fly home as a result.

One of the foods that I love and initially found extremely difficult to find in Britain when I first moved here was sauerkraut. With the influx of Polish immigrants after they joined the EU it has thankfully become much easier to track down. Now American food giant Heinz is set to launch a new line of "superior" Polish treats in the UK under the brand name Pudliszki. Products that will be included in the range will be pork goulash (Yum!), stuffed cabbage in tomato sauce (Yum!) and beef tripe in broth (I'll give it a miss).

The Los Angeles Police Department is to equip their officers with new torches (flashlights) that are too small to be used to beat suspects while simultaneously brighter than those they are replacing.

Ah, isn't progress a beautiful thing. Now if they would just arm their officers with guns whose bullets are too small to injure anyone perhaps we might start getting somewhere.

...because then the fact that he was tortured by Americans shouldn't count. Right? I know that’s in the Bible somewhere.

A United Nations human rights expert, Philip Alston, the Special Rapporteur on extrajudicial, summary or arbitrary executions, has harshly criticised Iran, the Russian Federation, Bangladesh, Nigeria, Indonesia and the United States over their role in extra-judicial killings. He does seem to have overlooked Israel for some reason.

A propos of United States claims that such acts are part and parcel of the "War on Terra" Mr. Alston said:

This would all be extremely worrisome if no less of an expert than John Bolton were not around to remind us that the United Nations doesn't exists. Whew. That was a close one.

As things continue to fall apart in Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe's party, Zanu PF, has endorsed the 83 year-old autocrat as their candidate for another five year term in the 2008 "elections" for President. What is wrong with these people?

One could legitimately point out that, as a citizen of a country that has "elected" the Decider(TM) to its Presidency twice, I have little room for criticism.

I recently wrote a post about the absurdity surrounding the case of the so-called "mystery nun" whose recovery from Parkinson's disease is being used to propel the late pontiff, John Paul II, along the road to sainthood.

Well now we can reveal that the Catholic devotee in question is one Sister Marie-Simon-Pierre, a forty-five year old French nun from Aix-en-Provence. According to her (rather tall) tale she was diagnosed with Parkinson's in 2001 and had become unable to write legibly or drive and was in considerable pain. One night in 2005 she scrawled, illegibly, the name of the by then decease Pope on a peace of paper and woke up in the morning cured. She felt so much better the next day, after the late Pope had reached out from beyond the grave and cured her, that she assisted in a Caesarean section birth in a maternity ward. (Remind me not to end up in a hospital where they allow a nurse, who has been suffering from a serious and debilitating disease for over four years, to work in an operating theatre when she comes in one morning and says that she feels better!)

According to the rules laid down by the Church in order for this to qualify as a "miracle" a person's recovery must be "be sudden, complete and permanent - as well as inexplicable". Normally for something like cancer they have to wait ten years but it seems there is no such rule for Parkinson's. So let us assume that they make him a saint on the basis of this phenomenon what would happen if she relapses? Would he be demoted to ex-Saint? Does this get attributed to him just because she illegibly wrote down his name? What if she had written Osama bin-Laden, John Belushi or Satan? Would they have been credited with a "miracle" and been on their way to sainthood?

Does any part of this process make sense to anyone (who isn't a Catholic)?

Now if Peter Taylor wrote John Paul's name last night and Crystal Palace get promoted this year that would qualify as a miracle!

Once again proving that the United Kingdom will do anything to be like its Big Brother the United States the prison population in the UK has reached record levels with no sign of a downturn in sight and the authorities are scrambling to find enough places to put them all.

We still have quite a ways to go as the American incarceration rate is about six times higher than the British one. It will give Gordon something to aspire to once he gets to be in charge. If he gets to be in charge.

When Americans are taken hostage by a hostile foreign power the reaction of the British people is concern over the safety of the individuals in harm's way.

When Britishers are taken hostage by a hostile foreign power the reaction of the American people is concern over petrol prices.

Cheers.

Just a note. What the fuck is so terrible about 4 USD for a US gallon anyway? Current British prices are around 90p per litre which works out to around 6.40 USD per US gallon. This is a more realistic price given the damage done by the internal combustion engine.

As of this morning US Attorney General and Bush succubus Antonio Gonzales still has a job. Despite his difficulties, what with loyal Bushies contradicting, under oath, what he had told the press, he looks set to survive the weekend. He continues to defend himself fiercely, after all who else will defend him, saying that he is only "fighting for the truth". He says he won't resign and as the Decider(TM) is probably off to his country estate in Texas to clear brush and hunt for Easter eggs he may have another fortnight or so.

Meanwhile in our who-gets-sacked-first competition, England football coach Steve "I've never really coached a winning team and it doesn't look like I'm going to start now" McClaren, would seem to be in serious trouble having been given the poisoned chalice of a vote of confidence from his boss at the FA. I reckon that it is time to start clearing out the office mate.

(To be continued...)

A high school in Kentucky has removed Beloved by Nobel prize winner Toni Morrisonbecause some folks think that a modicum of profanity and some references to bestiality outweigh its literary merits.

Bollocks!

There are lots of folks out there who think that there is nothing to worry about with the government collecting more and more personal information about you. After all you've got nothing to hide right?

Well think about this for a bit and then get back to me.

A special note for NRA members - they probably have all your credit card records so buy your guns with cash. Otherwise they'll know where to look when they come to take them away!

Today is the 27th anniversary of the murder of political activist Archbishop Oscar Romero in El Salvador. Archbishop Romero was a staunch advocate of human rights especially for the impoverished farmers and peasants of his country. He was murdered by members of the Salvadoran military; a military that was heavily financed by the United States at the time. The US could not have been unaware of, and possibly was complicit it, the pattern of oppression and abuse that the military was responsible for.

The head of the US Government's Health and Human Services Department Office of Population Affairs, Dr. Eric Keroack, has resigned suddenly after Medicaid officials from Massachusetts took action against him. It is not clear at this time what the nature of that action was. In his five month tenure at the Office Dr. Keroack was ostensibly responsible for ensuring that women had access to contraceptives and family planning. The problem was that he didn't believe in either so could hardly be considered as effective in that role.

Cosimo Cavallaro is an artist who has sculpted a 6-foot tall anatomically correct statue of Jesus (sans loincloth) in chocolate that is due to go on display in New York on Monday.

Needless to say the Catholics are less than pleased, although I'm not quite sure if it is the nudity or the confectionary that bothers them. I assume the Protestant community will remain quiet on this one as they have that slightly different version (more gravening, less remembering) of the 10 Commandments and one graven image is much the same as another.

Sometimes he is the Decider(TM) and sometimes he is the Proposer(TM). Now his Imperial Majesty Emperor George the First of America and all the Known World and Other Planets tries his hand at stand up and, trust me, it is a painful thing to watch. This is a man who is clearly not at all au fait with self-deprecating humour.

If you shop at TJMaxx in the states, or at its curiously named subsidiary TKMaxx in the UK and Ireland, you just might want to check your credit card statements carefully after the discounter admitted that it is likely that someone you don't know has got a hold of your credit card details after hacking into their data systems.

What if it proves impossible to find an unbiased jury to try José Padilla? What then? Petition the Supreme Court to allow him to be sent to Guantánamo Bay? "Unlawfully render" him to places unknown for torture and related abuse? Set him free?

What then indeed.

The Jewish Journal out of Los Angeles wonders if fiery Evangelical minister and seeker of the end of time the Rt. Rev. John Hagee is really the kind of friend that Israel and / or the Jewish community needs after his recent speech to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee. Following the "enemy of my enemy is my friend" logic many prominent Jewish Americans think that he is, hence his invitation to AIPAC but not everyone seems to agree. Especially since Hagee really only seems to desire the Jewish state as a battleground for Armageddon.

In related news Rapture Index opened up slightly higher at 160 in light trading. (Note: 160 is the southern boundary of the range that they hopefully describe as "fasten your seat belts" territory.)

"Yes it is" says the Saudi monarch and staunch American ally King Abdullah.

"No it isn't" says the US state department, a loyal friend of the House of Saud and saviour of the Iraqi people.

"Yes it is" says the Iraq President and staunch American ally Jalal Talabani. Or does he? The previous link is from an Iraqi satellite TV station. Elsewhere in the Islamic world media in Iran, the United Arab Emirates and the Lebanon are all reporting that Talabani referred to the US presence as "an occupation" with "dire consequences". Outside of the Islamic world I can only find this reference in France and I don't suppose we are allowed to accept the word of "cheese eating surrender monkeys" as credible, are we?

In Britain I have been able to find no mention of President Talabani's remarks to the Arab League anywhere. Nothing in the Guardian, the Times or the Independent or on the Beeb. I couldn't bring myself to check the Torygraph or the tabloids.

CNN cites an Associated Press report that says that the Iraqi President "bristled at the comment" and used the term "occupation" only to note that it had "negative implications". I can no mention of the remarks on any of the other US news networks (although I couldn't bear to search Faux News) and can't find any reference in the New York Times, the Washington Post or the LA Times. You would think that such left wing bastions would be trumpeting the news from their front pages.

I guess I shall have to rely on someone who speaks Arabic to clarify.

One of the most common complaints that the British have about Americans is that they have "no sense of irony". I try and point to folks like Mark Twain and H. L. Mencken but they generally find that insufficient evidence. However if American's are not consciously ironic many find it impossible to live their lives without unconscious irony.

Let us take the case of Golden State Fence Company executives Melvin Kay Jr. and Michael McLaughlin. Their company, one of California's largest fence construction concerns, had worked on, amongst other projects, security fences on the US - Mexican border that were designed to prevent illegal immigrants from crossing over into the United States. Obviously the unintentional irony is that a large portion of their employees were illegal immigrants. The two aforementioned executives have now been sentenced to house arrest, over 1,000 hours of community service and probations for their part. The company has also been banned from government contracts and forced to make significant numbers of staff redundant, presumably the illegal ones.

Mining mega-giant Rio Tinto has run up against a wee problem in its plans to "develop" a huge mine in Western Australia. Scientists have discovered a number of previously unknown species of troglobite, a blind spider-like critter only seven millimetres long, on the site and local environmental authorities have rejected the plans for the iron mine fearing that the species would not survive. Rio Tinto will appeal with a spokesman saying

This leaves unsaid the obvious fact that if God had wanted this animals to survive She wouldn't have hid them so close to iron ore.

A UK resident and Iraqi citizen, Bisher al-Rawi, who has been held at the American run Guantánamo Bay Summer Camp and Leisure Facility for nearly five years without charge, is to be released. Why? Well it seems that he wasn't guilty of anything, despite being a known evil-doer, and that furthermore he had served the British government as a liason between MI5 and London based radical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada.

I'll bet he doesn't even get as much as a "sorry mate" or even a coveted Guantánamo Bay Summer Camp and Leisure Facility souvenir beach towel.

As of this morning US Attorney General and Bush succubus Antonio Gonzales still has a job but the question on everyone's lips is "what did Gone-zo know and when did he know it?" Clearly he is not long for this world but I am worried that if the Decider(TM) decides to sack him on Sunday none of us will believe him and will just suspect it is an elaborate April Fool.

Meanwhile things aren't looking good for the other contestant in the who-gets-sacked-first competition, England football coach Steve "I've never really coached a winning team and it doesn't look like I'm going to start now" McClaren, with the news that some of his players had to hide from supporters during the side's less than impressive first half performance against the feared Andorran national side in mid-week.

My money's still on McLaren!

(To be continued...)

As expected Israel has rejected the most recent Arab peace proposal which included recognition of the Jewish state inside of its original borders.

Just don't tell anyone, OK?

Republicans at the San Francisco State University aren't going to be disciplined by the University after they held a demonstration in which they walked on depictions of the flags of Hamas and Hezbollah. A student filed a grievance based on the fact that the flags contain the Arabic word "Allah". The President of the group is likely to be dishonourably drummed out of the 101st Keyboarders after he said:

Should the complaining student wish to retaliate I recommend that he or she hold a demonstration where they walk on pictures of Jesus and Ronald Regan.

Chris Murray has not been flavour of the month in Downing Street for some time. He was the former UK Ambassador to Uzbekistan until he was recalled after criticising the human rights record of the regime there.

Now he is claiming that the so-called proof that the British government has claimed it has that the fifteen sailors were in Iraqi waters when they were seized by Iran is based on a few wee falsehoods. So it is much like the rationale for the illegal US invasion of Iraq then.

In an attempt to strangle state's rights (so I am sure that all loyal conservative Republicans will be with me on this) the chemical industry is fighting a provision in a supplemental spending bill that would allow individual states to set higher standards than the Federal government as regards security at chemical plants. In a statement I completely fail to understand Jack Gerard, president of the American Chemistry Council, tells us that

As far as I can tell he is saying that tighter security at chemical plants, but only in selected states, would make the country less secure. You have to admit that this is daring reasoning.

By the way the chemical industry is confident that they will get their way.

...and the Christians aren't happy. The Swiss entry in the competition DJ Bobo will perform a song called "Vampires Are Alive". According to Thomas Feuz of the Federal Democratic Union:

Thomas, of course it's bad. It's entered in Eurovision for fuck's sake. Have you ever watched the programme?

Note for Americans: if you have never seen the Eurovision Song contest I urge you to make an effort to do so. It is simultaneously some of the absolutely worst television you will ever see and yet it is oddly hypnotic. Maybe it's the drugs.

Not to mention the fritessaus. Yum!

It is with a sad heart that I tell you that "Swift Boat Veterans Against the Truth" financier, Sam Fox, has withdrawn his name from consideration for the US Ambassadorship to het Koninkrijk België / la Royaume de Belgique. Too bad. As he is a mate of the Decider's I am certain he knows no Dutch and hardly a word of French anyway.

If it isn't now it should be one soon as more and more states pick up the National Rifle Association's advice and pass laws that prevent business owners from banning guns from their premises. Of course I believe in most of these cases you will find that the legislatures themselves are exempted. It looks as Florida will be next. Frankly I'm surprised that they didn't pass one already. Their law does have an extra twist in that also prevents employers from barring porn from their car parks.

So if you want to have a wank in the car on the way home and then shoot someone because of your guilt over your onanistic addiction you'll be all set.

A 29 year old woman from Shrewsbury (pronounced Shrowsbury for the Yanks) has appeared in a magistrate's court accused of bigamy. Suzanne Mitchell married Caroline Beddowes last February but it believed that she is still married to a man at the time.

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. In all good faith she probably believed, greedy bitch that she must be, that she was entitled to one of each.

A significant number of students, faculty and administrations at that known revolutionary hot bed Brigham Young University in Utah are extremely displeased that the anti-Christ himself, US Vice President "I'm a Big Dick" Cheney is going to be the featured speaker at this year's graduation ceremonies.

According to the story in Provo's Daily Herald at this point the University has "no plans to eliminate Cheney as a part of the graduation ceremonies". That will undoubtedly come as a great relief to the Veep's Secret Service detail.

The number of homeless people in New Orleans is now double the level it was before Hurricane Katrina and the number of available shelter places is dramatically lower. On any given night around 12,000 people are living on the streets including families with young children as well as people in their seventies and eighties.

Hey George. It sounds like time for another fly over or maybe even a photo op. What do you think?

The World Food Programme has announced that it planning on stopping distributing food aid to 70,000 people in Djibouti due to a lack of supplies. It needs 6 million USD in order to be able to continue the operation until the end of the year and 1 million USD immediately to prevent them having to shut the programme down. It takes the US about 10 minutes to spend 1 million USD in Iraq destroying people's lives. Wouldn't this be a better use of the funds?

A freedom of information request shows that the Chief Scientific Adviser to the British Ministry of Defence warned government officials against criticising the Lancet study of Iraqi civilian casualties that estimated that over 650,000 lives had been lost as a result of the illegal American led invasion and occupation. He described the methodology that the study used as "close to best practice" and said that the "study design is robust." A statistician at the Department of International Development also said that the method used in the survey was "tried and tested" and, if anything, could lead to an underestimate of the number of deaths.

Over to you Tony.

Fresh faced Tory leader David "Where is my parting today?" Cameron has to suffer the embarrassment of taking down his GREEN wind turbine from his home in North Kensington after the local council pointed out to him that it breached planning regulations because he had attached it to the wrong side of the chimney.

This is why DIY is a bad idea. It's always best just to hire a professional straight away.

Iran's Foreign Minister, Manouchehr Mottaki, says that he doubts that the US would "dare attack Iran". That is all well and good. However if he is basing this argument on the assumption that the United States is run by a sane and rational human being I think we have a problem.

I know that it is illegal for me, as an American citizen, to smoke Cuban cigars or to drink Cuban rum, but is it within legal boundaries for me to agree with Fidel Castro. Because I do.

If we allow neo-liberal, "free" market Capitalism to have its way then, as I have said already, when it comes down to a choice between your Hummer and a hungry child your Hummer wins. And the child? Don't worry your pretty, little head about it because the market knows all.

Is there any doubt in the mind of anyone , who is not directly associated with Bush&Co, that the United States is violating international law at Guantánamo Bay?

So what the hell do we do about it? Impeachment of the Decider(TM) is one possible step but, in my mind at least, it is not sufficient. He must be made to pay a higher price for these criminal acts and there are others (e.g. Rumsfeld, Gonzales) who share the culpability as well. What recourse do we have?

You are seated comfortably in 37A, a window seat, trying to kill the time on your flight to Auckland, when, suddenly, flaming space debris goes shooting by your window.

Do you scream? Is there a sick girl on board? Where's Charlton Heston?

How then to explain that the plans to make the late Pope a saint of some sort hinge on testimony that he somehow cured a French nun of Parkinson's after he was dead? How do we know this?

One night before going to bed she wrote his name in an illegible script asking for mercy and the next morning her penmanship had improved considerably.

Give me a break. I don't like to scoff at other people's beliefs but this is just downright silly. If you want to make him a bloody saint then make him a bloody saint but don't make shit up to try and justify it.

A creationist museum outside of Cincinnati Ohio seems to be evolving even before it opens. Shouldn't the pseudo-scientific institution have come into being fully formed like everything else around it?

The Ulster Defence Association, a Protestant terrorist group in Northern Ireland, have purged their paramilitary brigadier and his political adviser in South East Antrim. For reasons I have never been able to understand there has not been the same pressures on the so-called "Loyalist" paramilitaries to disarm and come in from the cold as there has been on the Republican side.

I wonder what the Christian right position will be on the abduction of a Pakistani woman, suspected of running a brothel in Islamabad, by fundamentalist Muslim women. After all the young women are saving the residents of the capital city from the pleasures of pleasure. They should be all for it, right?

A cul-de-sac in Bozeman MT has found itself inundated with tumbleweeds and had to use snow plows to dig themselves out.

Stories that the Minutemen were sending several dozen heavily armed vigilantes to Bozeman in order to search the thistles for undocumented aliens and other terrorists cannot be confirmed at this time.

Important information about tumbleweeds can be found here.

Authorities in Kent County MI (USA) have misplaced about 15 million US gallons (12 million Imperial gallons) of partially treated sewage. They can't find it anywhere.

Maybe some sniffer dogs could help?

Argentina has said that it will cancel an agreement with Britain over gas and oil exploration in the waters surrounding the Falklands/Malvinas because

Perhaps this will give Tony a chance to go out in a blaze of glory by pretending to be "Milk Snatcher" Thatcher and send the Navy off for Falklands War II. (It would probably be renamed Malvinas War I should the Argentines win.)

The tension surrounding the capture of fifteen British sailors by Iran in the Persian Gulf continues to ratchet upwards after the captives were paraded on television. Iranian is demanding that Britain admit that the boats were in Iranian waters when they were taken. Britain refuses to do so and claims that they can prove the opposite.

In the meantime oil companies are smiling as oil prices head northwards again and the American Navy thought it would stir the pot a bit as it engages in exercises nearby. 300 Spartans have also been spotted gathering in a pass on the Greek mainland.

I have a bad feeling about this.

The UN is recommending mass circumcision of men in the battle to fight AIDS after studies in Africa indicated that circumcised males are 60% less likely to contract HIV than those who are not.

Now for the humour: