Yank in London
occasional musings on politics, culture and life in general from an american in exile


"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

Tom Paine - Common Sense

"A republic, sir, if you can keep it."

Benjamin Franklin

"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"

Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong

31 July 2007
  A bad week for film directors
First Bergman and now Michelangelo Antonioni. R.I.P.
  13:15:00 2 comments links to this post
  Heh! Heh!
Agents of both the US Internal Revenue Service and the Federal Bureau of Investigation searched the house of Sen. Ted Stevens (R - AK) yesterday. It is not known at this time if any clogged tubes were found.
  13:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  Just kidding?
CNN has apparently come clean and revealed that their story about terrorist dry runs in the US was basically untrue. It seems that the story was just a dry run for CNN so that they will be able to cover the host of exaggerated and untrue "terrorists on our shores" stories that they will have to cover in the run up to next year's Presidential election as the remnants of the Bush administration pull out all of the stops to ensure that the Republican candidate wins.
  13:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  Britain to ban marriage!!!
Well, not exactly, but I thought it might get your attention. Actually it looks like the government is headed towards giving minimal financial rights to cohabitating couples and therefore all members of the government are headed for eternal damnation! I'll bet Captain Codpiece didn't know this was on the books or he never would have invited Gordo to his sleepover!
  13:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Sinister genetics
Scientists at Oxford University claim to have found the left handed gene which ensures that certain unfortunate human beings, such as myself, will be possessed by Satan and doomed to eternal damnation.
  12:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Imagine that!
Some folks don't seem to think that Jihad, The Musical is appropriate entertainment. I suspect that these same people don't approve of The Life of Brian either.
  12:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  News on the march
The US State Department tells us that press freedom is under attack in the Americas and that pariah states Cuba and Venezuela are leading the way and they cite Reporters sans frontières as their authority.

Let's do some research then shall we? RSF's most recent press freedom index does indeed list Cuba almost on the bottom at 165 and Venezuela fares little better at 115. Fair enough. Curiously however the State Department statement makes no mention of either the US's good friends Colombia and Mexico both of whom rank below Venezuela at 131 and 132 respectively. There is also no mention of the fact that the US doesn't exactly figure well in the rankings coming in at joint 53 along with Botswana, Croatia and Tonga and behind Mozambique, Macedonia and the Dominican Republic.
  12:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I have five A levels...
...Chemistry, French, Economics, Maths and Fruit Machines."

This should not be taken as a sign the British education is dumbing down but that rather it is becoming more inclusive. Trust me.
  12:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Despite record Phighting Phils greatest team of all time!
Here's the science!
  12:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  One for the conspiracy theorists!
Perhaps the Decider(TM) knew something was going to happen on 11 September 2001 and his choice of My Pet Goat tipped his hand. After all "each year, over 6000 people are traumatized by goats in the United States alone" and importantly that "if a child is traumatized by a goat before age five, he/she is five times more likely to become some form of social deviant".

Well it has made me think anyway!
  12:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  I forgot to think about this
Anti-abortion protesters who've never thought about what should happen to women who have abortions once these folks get their way and abortion is made illegal. A few of them seemed to have talked to God but they didn't talk to Her about this particular issue.

  12:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  R.I.P
Tom Snyder (and his eyebrows) - 1936 - 2007. He passed through Philly on his way to bigger things. In memory I present his 1981 interview with The Clash.

  12:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  First degree nimbyism
Out in the heart of the stockbroker belt they like to keep things quite and low key after the terrible stress they have to endure what with fighting over their six figure bonuses and the horrible commute up to London. So it is little wonder that the residents of Ashtead in Surrey are up in arms over plans to convert a six bedroom property on a private road in the village into a residence for the families of armed forces members who are undergoing treatment after amputations at a nearby military rehab centre. These people, as their correspondence to the local council indicates, are rightly concerned that their property values could suffer or that they will be victims of terrorism as rapid lunatics travel from Iraq and Afghanistan to finish off the families of those they have only wounded! To quote some of the letters:

"We pay a premium on our properties to live in as near a rural environment as we can to London, thus enjoying the peace and relative tranquillity that this brings with it, together with a communal sense of good neighbourliness. If No 36 were to be changed into a 'hostel' this would change completely with the constant comings and goings ... similar to a small hotel."

"[T]here is no provision for guarding the premises as there is with other military establishments or for protecting local people either from attack by terrorists, or by those taking revenge, who may themselves have lost family members ..."

I spit in your general direction!
  11:51:00 0 comments links to this post
  Do we have plans for you
The Republican Party continues to pursue the lowest common denominator as the national party is apparently salivating over the future of Hazelton PA's mayor, Lou Barletta even though the racist anti-immigrant housing ordinance he pushed through has been thrown out as unconstitutional by the courts. After all they've never met a nearly in the closet racist that they didn't like.
  11:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  Calling Roy Scheider
You presence is required in Cornwall as the Daily Mail tells of the terror that is gripping the English county as a second Great White Shark is allegedly sighted off shore.

There doesn't seem to be an Amity in Cornwall but there is an Amity Restaurant. I wonder if their trade is off all of a sudden.
  11:40:00 1 comments links to this post
  Aussies stand pat
If Dr. Mohammed Haneef thinks he is going to get an apology from the Australian government over his arrest and detainment for complicity in a British terror plot he has another thing coming. Not only that but the Australian government wants it to be known that they know that he knows that he is an evildoer. They let us know this by letting out some information allegedly uncovered during their investigation but then refused to provide additional details saying that to do so would involve "prejudicing or jeopardising further investigations".
  11:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Gone-zo watch (day 131)
One of these days (I hope) US Attorney General and Bush succubus Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales is going to realise that he is not going to be able to hang on to his job. He may even realise that it will be unseemly if he has to be carried screaming and kicking like a spoiled child from his office. He had better hurry up and realise those things or he may be carried screaming and kicking from his office.

(To be continued...)
  11:29:00 0 comments links to this post
30 July 2007
  Decider(TM) dissed by single bullet man
On his home turf nonetheless. You go Arlen!
  12:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Progress report
MISSION MOST DEFINITELY ACCOMPLISHED! Only one third of the Iraqi population is currently in desperate need of humanitarian aid. A job well done I'd say.
  11:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  Enough already!
Look - I am not a fan of Hillary Clinton. Not because she is woman but because she is far too right wing for me. However I do have a message to the right wing nuts who seem to think that her cleavage is an issue that should be seriously discussed and likened to steroid abuse. Cut the shit! OK?
  11:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  Whatever happened "leave no man behind"?
Perhaps the rule doesn't apply to Israeli soldiers who are having a kip.
  11:51:00 0 comments links to this post
  R.I.P
Igmar Bergman - 1918-2007

From his classic Seventh Seal


  11:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Fricking amazing
I'm not sure that Don Frick is the kind of guy I would want to hang around with on a hot, muggy Pennsylvania day. Not because I think there is anything wrong with Mr. Frick, I'm sure he is perfectly nice bloke, but because he has been struck by lightning for a second time. He is obviously a man of few words and the only quote from Mr. Frick is the dramatic understatement: "I'm lucky to be alive"!
  11:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  They hate us for our pigeons
The Federal Bureau of Investigation and a hazardous materials team were called into action in Washington DC yesterday after suspicions of a possible terrorist attack were raised as dozens of dead birds were found at various Metro stations. It turns out that the birds had indeed been poisoned; by a Metro subcontractor who had forgotten to clean up the corpses afterwards.
  11:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  I really am sorry but I can't follow your logic
America's ambassador to the (fictitious) United Nations, Zalmay Khalilzad, has accused the Saudis of interfering in Iraq and undermining the nascent government. The solution to this problem is clear to the Bushies, if not to me; sell the repressive country 20 billion USD worth of high tech weapons. WTF?
  11:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  This could work in America
British police have announced plans to give selected motorists roadside physicals in a move to crack down on stoned driving. Perhaps if this concept were introduced in the states it could be a small step towards introducing universal healthcare.

Perhaps I should ask Michael Moore.
  11:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Sit, Gordon, sit"
I wonder how that awkward first weekend together went for Gordon Brown and George Bush. How did they spend the evening? Did they watch a video together (no pretzels)? Did they go out in the twilight to "clear some brush" together. Do Gordon get invited into the Imperial Bathroom to view the Decider's Colgate? We'll probably never know.

We may not even want to know. I'm sure he slipped back to the cabin, got out the laptop and checked to see how many days were left!
  11:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  Gone-zo watch (day 130)
In a few hours US Attorney General and Bush succubus Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales will begin what is certain to be yet another difficult week. It is a good thing he has no recollection of any of his prior difficult weeks otherwise they surely would be starting to get to him. Well Gone-zo, since you have forgotten, before you head off to the office this morning to sack some insufficiently partisan Republican federal attorneys, you probably should know that there are some who are questioning your truthiness.

(To be continued...)
  11:07:00 0 comments links to this post
29 July 2007
  If the science will not come to the Decider(TM)...
...the science must go away. You gotta problem with that?
  13:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  Progress report
It is not even August and yet I can comfortably tell you that the "surge" has failed. We may as well pack up and head home in time to head down the shore for Labor Day. How do I know this? Well it was bad enough when all the forces of the (incredible shrinking) coalition of the willing were facing were Sunni insurgents, Shi'a insurgents, Shi'a fundamentalists, Baathists and Kurdish nationalist. We might have been able to be victorious over these forces but now that we are facing Iraqi football hooligans I'm afraid it is all over.
  13:51:00 0 comments links to this post
  The not-so-Union flag
For those of you who don't understand the complexities of nationality in the United Kingdom before I share this flag related news with you here is a little primer. The official name of the country is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland; at least that's what it says on the passports. However within the UK England, Scotland and Wales claim to be countries and they are indeed recognised, singly or in various combinations, by a number of international sports authorities. Each of them has their own flags that are sort of incorporated into the national flag. Northern Ireland just claims to be a bunch of counties that don't want to be part of Ireland.

So on to the flag related news. New PM Gordon Brown wants government buildings to fly the Union Flag* everyday and not just on the limited days that used to be the case. The trouble is that Scotland is run by the Scottish National Party, a party that wants Scotland to be a real country and not just for football, and they are opting out of the flag flying thing.

*Despite what you think the national flag is called the Union Flag and should only be called the Union Jack when it is on a ship. I hope you find this message informative.
  13:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Peace in their time
Increasing irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleeza Rice and some other guy named Gates are off to the Middle East to finally bring peace to the troubled region. They are also going to drop off a whole bunch of weapons; that should be of immense assistance to their efforts.
  13:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  Evangelical traitors in our midst
A group of thirty American evangelical leaders has sent a letter to the Decider(TM) that says that Jews don't have a divine right to possess all of Palestine. In retaliation John Hagee, an evangelist who doesn't share that opinion, has launched a preemptive strike on Jimmy Carter!
  13:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  Out, out damn Petraeus!
If Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki has his way the American commander in Iraq, General David Petraeus, won't be around to make present his September report card in November 2008.
  13:18:00 1 comments links to this post
  Get your wheelbarrows out
The economy of Zimbabwe is in deep trouble. Inflation is running somewhere between 5,000% and 10,000%; I think that is per annum but it could be per diem. But the country's ingenious, if evil, President Robert Mugabe has the answer. He has decided to print more money; that is if he can afford the ink.
  13:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  In which I trust The Sun
There is a Great White Shark prowling the waters off of Cornwall. The Sun has it all, including video. Just when you thought it was safe, if too fucking cold, to get back in the water.
  13:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  Edinburgh Festival update
Every year August brings the Edinburgh Festival and with it there is always a bit of controversy. This year we have "Jihad - The Musical". I kid you not.

Not coming to Broadway anytime soon.
  12:50:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I am not a Weeble!"
Fresh faced young Tory leader David Cameron is looking vulnerable as the polls show a "surge" of support for New Labour under Gordon Brown and he is under pressure from the restless and marginally insane right wing of his party. But he insists he will not "go on a wobble". Atta boy Davey!
  12:42:00 1 comments links to this post
  Where freedom isn't free
For any of you out there who think we (the US or UK) can even pretend anymore that we are on the side of goodness and light should read this article from today's Observer about the sad story of Bisher al-Rawi, a British resident and MI5 informer, who was kidnapped by the CIA with the complicity of MI5. He was first taken to a secret prison or "intensive interrogation centre" in Afghanistan where he was kept in cell that had no light 24 hours a day and which was unheated even though the temperatures were below 0 C. He eventually ended up holidaying in Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Resort before he was finally released, after more than four years in custody, without charge or compensation.
  12:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  Gone-zo watch (day 129)
US Attorney General and Bush succubus Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales has made it to another weekend still employed. In all seriousness this guy has got to go. There are only two possible explanations for his behaviour and "testimony" before Congress. He is either criminally incompetent simply criminal. However the loony Moonies at the Washington Times have weighed in with a third option; he was sandbagged!

(To be continued...)
  12:27:00 0 comments links to this post
28 July 2007
  Vote early, vote often
Tests in California have revealed (surprise! surprise!) that almost all electronic voting equipment is not secure and is vulnerable to hacking.

What's wrong with paper anyway?
  14:04:00 1 comments links to this post
  Shorter Pat Buchanan
America is so fucked.
  13:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  I may have been wrong...
...about tomorrow's headline. It now seems more likely that it will be "20 billion dollars! Yippee!" than "Saudis accuse US of telling lies about Iraq". I'm ever so sorry.
  13:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Because somebody doesn't like Sara Lee
More American food recalls this time Sara Lee bread containing metal fragments. Hey, it says "high fibre" right on the label. What's the problem?

Perhaps this might be a good time for a fast or a hunger strike.
  13:17:00 0 comments links to this post
  But is it supposed to be that colour?
Are Heinz's claims that eating lots of their Cream of Tomato Soup puts puts some sizzle in one's spunk based on sound science?

We report - you decide (not to care).
  13:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  Proof positive that climate change is happening in San Diego
The ice packs are melting. What do you say to that, eh?
  13:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  Faith based criticism
John J. DiIulio Jr. was the Decider's first director of the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives. In an opinion piece in the Philadelphia Inquirer he suggests that the President doesn't actually mean what he says!
  13:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  On the meaning of words
A Palestinian doctor who was released from Libyan custody along with a group of Bulgarian nurses is claiming that he was tortured by Gadafy's security forces. I hate to contradict Dr. al-Hazouz and whilst there was a time when Libya was a pariah state and such treatment would indeed have been torture now that the North African country is no longer a member of the "Axis of Evil" these methods are now known as "enhanced interrogation techniques". Any questions?
  12:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  Free trade is for other people
Brazil is celebrating a decision by the World Trade Organisation that American cotton subsidies are in violation of free trade rules. The US is unhappy with the ruling and are citing their interpretation of some of the fine print in an edition of Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations that only they seem to have access to.
  12:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  How pissed off would you be?
If your flight was held up for four fucking hours because a couple of Qatari Princesses didn't like their seats!

I don't know about you but I would be really, really, really fucking pissed off.
  12:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Standing by their man
The White House has leapt to the defence of Attorney General and succubus Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales after he spent a few lying hours on Capitol Hill the other day. I understand their argument to be as follows: if the Attorney General actually told to truth he would be obligated to order the execution of anyone who heard it to protect America from people who don't want him to be Attorney General.

Am I guilty of solecism or am I essentially correct?
  12:41:00 0 comments links to this post
  Texas Hold 'Em - Crawford style
"I'll see your Karl Rove and I'll raise you a Michael Moore."

And all this before the flop!
  12:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  Will the last employee of the McCain campaign...
...please remember to turn out the lights? Global warming and all that.
  12:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Did Bill-O tell a porky?
Bill O'Reilly was rude to a guest and shut off her mike, saying that he couldn't let her mislead his audience, after she said that there were abusive comments advocating violence on his website. Nothing new there. But will he admit his error? Not very likely I would think.

Remember people have to pay Bill-O five bucks a month for the privilege of threatening Hillary. Do they get a badge along with the privilege or is that extra?
  12:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why is this man not holidaying at the Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Resort?
A man who has confessed to plotting to plant a bomb at a public facility that would have seriously injured and probably killed many innocent people has been allowed to plead guilty to "attempted use of a destructive device". Charges of "use of weapons of mass destruction and the manufacture of explosive material" have been dropped. Why, you ask, is this man getting off so lightly? Well perhaps it is because Paul Ross Evans, who has two previous felony convictions (whatever happened to "three strikes and you're out"?), is white, Christian and was only planning on blowing up abortionists, so that's alright then. Do you suppose he would have received the same treatment if his name was Mohamed al-Tikriti and he was planning on blowing up a Republican rally?

A Google new search for various combinations of Paul-Ross-Evans-terror-terrorist-evildoer yielded exactly zero valid results!
  12:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  Most Iraqi children left behind
The United Nations is asking for donors to stump up 129 million USD to pay for the education of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi children who have fled the country with the families and no longer have access to education.

It is a real shame that Haliburton doesn't do the education thing because a 130 million USD no bid contract to provide these services would be a real "win-win" situation. I wonder how much Haliburton would charge for a school desk. 5K USD probably isn't high enough.
  12:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  When ex-friends let ex-friends drive drunk
Proving that she has not yet achieved the status of megastardom that is the right of her former bosom buddy Paris Hilton* reality TV superstarlet Nichole Richie only gets four days in jail for her DUI conviction. That's not enough time to wrangle an early release for the mental breakdown she is sure to undergo due to the incredible suffering her incarceration will cause.

* Note: a Google search for "paris hilton" megastar disturbingly yields "about" 93,100 hits!
  11:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  When the lights went out on Baghdad
If Assaman out of Iraq is to be believed half of Baghdad has been without power for the past 10 days. Not exactly ideal in the Iraqi summertime one would think. Of course it may explain why the US is no longer reporting on the provision of electricity in Baghdad.
  11:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Yeah man. Jerry used to clean his big, fat arse right here. You dig?"
Thoughtful shoppers will undoubtedly be thinking hard as to whether Jerry Garcia's bidet would make the perfect Xmas gift for the die hard Deadhead on their list before they register their bids.
  11:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Wingnuts ♥ Hillary
It seems that a host of white, male right wing pundits are suddenly queuing up to deposit some sort of stain on Hillary Clinton's little blue dress. Why could that be?

Perhaps it is because she is, by far, the most right wing of the Democratic candidates, and would be considered, despite Bill O'Reilly's characterisation of her as belonging to the "hard left", to be well right of centre everywhere but the US. I think that previously labelled her, in British terms, as being on the far right wing of New Labour, which puts her will right of centre, or a left wing Tory. I am glad that the pundits agree with me! (I think.)
  11:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Ballad of George and Gordo
New British Prime Minister is going to pay homage, I mean a visit, to Captain Codpiece this weekend at Camp David. Today's Guardian polls some people in the public arena and asks them what Gordon should say to Bush. My synopsis:
"Red" Ken Livingstone - Mayor of London: "Stop being such a prat!"

Clive Stafford-Smith - lawyer: "Have you ever heard of Martin Luther King Jr.?"

Martha Nussbaum - professor of law and ethics: "You've got daughters. Sort it out will you?"

Shami Chakrabarti - director of Liberty: "Which word in 'human rights' don't you understand?"

George Monbiot - environmentalist: "If your grandchildren live in a horrible word you do know it will be your fault don't you?"

Anne Weyman - Family Planning Association: "And on abortion...you're not listening to me are you?"
  11:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  The birthmark speaks
Former Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev had some harsh words to say about the "New World Order" that is little more than American hegemony.
"The Americans want so much to be the winners. The fact that they are sick with this illness, this winners' complex, is the main reason why everything in the world is so confused and so complicated," he said at a packed news conference.

Instead of ushering in an era of cooperation with the West, the USSR's collapse put the United States into an aggressive, empire-building mood, he said. Ultimately, that has led the United States to commit a string of "major strategic mistakes," he said.

"The idea of a new empire, of sole leadership, was born," Gorbachev said.

"Unilateral actions and wars followed," he added, saying that Washington "ignored the Security Council, international law and the will of their own people."
It's a good thing he doesn't know what he is talking about or we would be in big trouble.

At least we can all be secure in the knowledge that we have someone trustworthy, thoughtful and diplomatic at the helm of the American state.
  11:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today's headline
"US accuses Saudis of telling lies about Iraq"
Tomorrow's headline?

"Saudis accuse US of telling lies about Iraq"
  10:58:00 0 comments links to this post
  He's got Balls
Children's Minister Ed Balls is absolutely right when he says that every ASBO is a failure and so is every time a young adult leaves school without qualifications and every time the state has to imprison a young offender.

Good start Ed. Now let's see what you can do!
  10:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  And now for the weather
Just in case you are interested it is going to piss down on Old Blighty again this weekend. I continue to be thankful that I live on a hill.
  10:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Gordon - you know that's my job damn it!"
St. Tony Blair's successor as British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, is set to his own Mideast peace envoy even though St. Tony has already been given the job by his good buddy George. Could it be that Mr. Brown hasn't any faith in St. Tony? Perhaps? Just maybe?
  10:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Look Ma! I'm in charge"
For a few hours today US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney will undergo surgery to replace a flat battery in his pacemaker*. During this time Vice President I'm a Big Dick will turn over his responsibilities to the Decider(TM) and for a brief time George W. Bush will be running the country.

You have been warned.

*How doctors looked Mr. Cheney's alleged heart in order to install the device in the first place remains an unsolved mystery.
  10:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  Gone-zo watch (day 128)
US Attorney General and Bush succubus Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales got through his time before the Senate by lying his arse off. It is clear that the only one who stills loves Gone-zo is the Decider(TM). There must be pictures of someone doing something untoward with sheep involved.

Meanwhile former Republican administration justice department lawyers are the most recent to write Gone-zo off.

Gone-zo just go please. We are all bored with this!

(To be continued...)
  10:23:00 0 comments links to this post
27 July 2007
  For your Friday listening pleasure
The undisputed King of the Twelve String - Leo Kottke with "Pamela Brown". I once had a terrible crush on a Pamela Brown but that is another story. She married someone else.


  17:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Just because you're paranoid doesn't me everyone isn't out to get you
Just what is it with the Decider(TM) and crusades anyway?
  17:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Will Big Bird be packing heat?
The "family friendly" at America's National Rifle Association ("Nothing Says I Love You Like a Nickel Plated 9MM Automatic") are offering discount tickets to Sesame Place, an amusement park themed on Sesame Street, in exchange for donations.

You can register your disgust here.
  16:11:00