Yank in London
occasional musings on politics, culture and life in general from an american in exile


"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

Tom Paine - Common Sense

"A republic, sir, if you can keep it."

Benjamin Franklin

"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"

Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong

31 October 2007
  Have a laugh...
...with Peter Cook

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  It's like watching yeast
Oil now at 94 USD a barrel.

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  Does he have photos of Captain Codpiece doing something untoward to His Pet Goat?
It seems that the US government is once again pushing Ahmad Chalabi to assume a critical role in the (democratic???) government of Iraq.

Note to the Americans: the etymology of the word "democracy" shows that it comes from the Greek word demos (δημος), meaning "people" and the Greek word kratos (κρατος), meaning "power". Therefore who have no support amongst the δημος, such as Mr. Chalabi, get to have no κρατος in a democracy. Got it?

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  Justice done
Roy Pearson Jr., the complete tosspot of a Washington DC judge who sued a local dry cleaner for 54 million USD after they lost a pair of his trousers (and lost!) is now unemployed.

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  Please just make it stop!
Next week sees the publication of the first, but certainly not the last, book about the disappearance of four year-old Madeline McCann. After all it is nearly six months since she disappeared in Portugal.

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  Climate change ruining Australian economy

Drizabone has had to lay off of half of its staff because there isn't enough rain anymore to make it worthwhile to buy a raincoat, even a really good one!

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  Britain to reform abortion law?
To make it simpler and less stressful to get an abortion?

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  Become a Republican - they've got a really big closet!
Here we go again. What the hell is it with these guys anyway?

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  I heartily agree (and have been doing so since 2000)
Dennis Kucinich yet again creeps ahead in the eagerly fought battle over Yank in London's Democratic primary vote by questioning Captain Codpiece's mental stability.

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  Where can I get a ticket?
If you happen to be anywhere near Cullman Alabama you might get a change to see the Ku Klux Klan protesting the Ku Klux Klan which is, one has to admit, a sight one doesn't see everyday.

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  Happy Halloween - you're under arrest!
Tomorrow should see the local jails of Florida overflowing with six year-olds dressed up as Batman as police are reminding the state's citizens that it is illegal to wear a mask in public.

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  Today in necrophilia and just in time for Halloween...
...comes this touching story out of New Jersey (where else?) wherein one Anthony Merino has been arrested and lost his job to boot for allegedly engaging in non-consensual sex with the corpse of a 92 year old woman in a hospital morgue. Mr. Merino is currently being examined by doctors.

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  Clearly what we need is more stops with more and better searches
Because, despite making 44,543 stops under the Terrorism Act in 2005/2006, Britain only managed 105 arrests related to these stops and none of these were for terrorism offences. We are just not trying hard enough now are we. I would imagine if we stopped and search ever single Britain at least 4 times a day we would eventually manage to arrest someone, somewhere for terrorism and that would be an unequivocal success!

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  Eat less - skip Micky D's - live longer
In what can only be deemed bad news for a huge swathe of America's (and to a lesser extent Britain's) population we learn that body fat is linked to at least six different types of cancer. One of the key recommendations in the report from the American Institute for Cancer Research and the World Cancer Research Fund, in addition to the obvious "lose some bloody weight", is that red meat consumption be kept below 18 ounces (510 grams) per week.

The entire and entirely depressing report, all 500+ pages of it, can be found here.

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  Maybe routine but certainly not torture
Sri Lanka's Human Rights Minister Mahinda Samarasinghe has dismissed comments by a special rapporteur on torture for the UN Human Rights Council, Manfred Nowak that said that the government was routinely using torture against suspected members of the Tamil Tigers.

An unnamed source in the Sri Lankan government said off of the record that "we've got the CIA manual right here and according to their rules none of this is torture".

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  Get the redactors ready!
The US National Aeronautics and Space Administration may soon release data from its studies that indicate safety as regards air travel in America is much worse than previously thought. The Agency had been withholding the information from Congress for fear that it "would upset air travelers and hurt airline profits". (Emphasis mine.)

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  In praise of Warren Buffet
America's second richest man knows there is something wrong when he is paying the lowest tax rate amongst all of his office employees, including the cleaner, without even fiddling or resulting to shelters. He thinks that he, and those of his fellow Americans who are also stinking rich, should pay higher taxes.

I am sure that most of his peers amongst the obscenely wealthy heartily agree.

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  What do you know!
I think that this study from the University of Granada succinctly explains the hiring policy of the Bush Administration.

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  Prince Harry's bird trouble
This has not been a banner week for the royal family. First the gay-sex-drugs-and-rock-and-roll blackmail case concerning a royal who cannot be named and now Prince Harry has been questioned by the Old Bill over the illegal shooting of two hen harriers on or near the royal family's Sandringham estate. Prince Harry and a friend just happened to be out shooting at the time. Both of the young men deny any knowledge of the incident which is a crime punishable by up to six month's porridge.

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  The state of America's health
The American Medical Association has released a study on the ever consolidating American health insurance industry and how the resulting lack of competition has meant bigger profits for insurers but higher premiums and poorer care for the insured. Whatever solution America ultimately settles on for universal health care, and there will one day be universal health care in America, must not be based on private insurers who add only cost and not value to the nation's health. If they are including the "solution" will ultimately collapse of its own weight.

The entire study (PDF) is to be found here.

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  R.I.P.
Dina Rabinovitch - 1963 - 2007. Ms. Rabinovitch was a columnist with the Guardian who had been writing a series of moving, ever so human columns about her battle with terminal breast cancer and its effects on her and her family.

Her columns may be found here and have also been collected in a book, Take Off Your Party Dress: When Life's Too Busy for Breast Cancer.

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  Let's recap
I think Jon Stewart is worried that his show always seems to take a break at the wrong time.

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  Why does Meir Sheetrit want to destroy Israel?
Israel's Interior Minister is calling for changes to the country's immigration laws so that Jews emigrating there would have to "swear allegiance to the country and pass a language test to ensure their knowledge of Hebrew is sufficient" before they could become citizens! An oath of allegiance? A language test? I eagerly await the roar of outrage from the American Christian right over such patently absurd citizenship requirements!

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  Running out of time
The are only 446 days left in the reign His Imperial Majesty Emperor George the Last of the United States and the Known Universe (God be praised) so Air Force is working overtime to get ready for Captain Codpiece's thoughtful gift for his successor, the long awaited air strikes on Iran.

Note to Gordon Brown: Diego Garcia is British Sovereign Territory and you can tell him that he cannot use the airbase for such an illegal act. No really. You can!

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  And this time they're angry!
Buddhist monks have returned to the streets of Myanmar/Burma to protest the military regime. We need to put pressure on our governments to ensure that the maxim diplomatic effort is made to force this brutal junta to step down and allow for a transition to a democratic government. (Note to Captain Codpiece: there is oil in Burma!)

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  I really shouldn't be telling you this...
...because of where I live but there are folks in America who are naming the British royal allegedly involved in this week's "blackmail a royal over gay sex and drugs" plot. I think that that is all I should say other than to note that if Queen Liz and eleven other very specific people were involved in a tragic air crash the man allegedly at the centre of this alleged blackmail would be king.

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  In which I prove I am not Clear Channel
By actually allowing you listen to something from Springsteen's new album. I reckon I can classify this as yet another reason I am glad that I fled the country.


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  I am, apparenently, a Hitler appeaser
At least that is Norman Podoretz's opinion and I am unqualified to argue.

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  Do want the good news or the bad news?
The bad news is that glaciers in the west of Canada are at a 7,000 year low.

The good news is they found some 7,000 year old tree stumps that they had been looking for.

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  "I swear there was a tank just here!"
The British Army is testing a prototype of an invisible tank. No word if "M" was on hand for trial.

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  Today in infamy (but only if you're Catholic)
Four hundred and ninety years ago today Martin Luther nailed his ninety five theses to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg.

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  Soon long gone

Today's soon to be extinct primate is the Gorilla gorilla diehli from Nigeria and the Cameroon, aka the Cross River gorilla.

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  Enjoy your holiday...


Happy Halloween! (Unless you are an evangelical Christian in which case you should just pretend it isn't happening!)
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30 October 2007
  Sweet Blackwater deal
America's ABC News has got its hands on a copy of the immunity deal given to the Blackwater USA mercenaries.

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  Coming soon to an Ebay near you!
A Virgin Mary on the rock. I'm not sure why she's wearing a necktie though.

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  Today in infamy
Forty six years ago today the Soviet Union exploded Tsar Bomba, the first hydrogen bomb with a yield of 50 megatons.

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  Most children left behind
As of 2006 the public schools in most southern US states had a majority of poor pupils. In 2000 only 4 states had such a majority. Yet another brilliant success story for Captain Codpiece and his minions.

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  The rent comes due
The United States hasn't paid any rent to the Japanese government on its embassy in Tokyo for a decade and the Japanese government has indicated that it would like to see a cheque at some point.

Note to Uncle Sam: whilst you are in a paying mood can we have the not inconsiderable sum that you owe London for the congestion charge? The Olympics bill is already playing havoc with my council tax!

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  My kind of surgery
"Scalpel"

"Yes Doctor"

"Suction"

"Yes Doctor"

"Retractor"

"Yes Doctor"

"Chili Sauce"

"What Doctor?"

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  Surf's up on the Tigris
The largest dam in Iraq, on the Tigris River north of Mosul, is at risk of imminent collapse and its failure could lead to the deaths of 500,000 innocent Iraqis (or 500,000 terrorists and evildoers if the White House gets to spin the story first). Should the dam fail catastrophically a flood wave as high as 20 metres could carry as far as Mosul, home to 1.7 million. The US Army Corps of Engineers has warned the American armed forces to move equipment and troops away from the Tigris flood plain near Mosul and has also reported that "little or no progress had been made to shore up the Mosul Dam since the May warning, largely because a $27-million project funded by the U.S. has been plagued by mismanagement and possible fraud".

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  Sox victory means that week long fan's dream finally comes true
When I congratulated the Boston Red Sox the other day for their swift World Series victory, and probable permanent burial of the curse of the Bambino, I forgot to mention how ecstatic this must have made Rudy Giuliani, Republican presidential candidate and career flip-flopper whose conversion from Yankees fan to Red Sox fan was completed just in the nick of time!

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  Progress report
Iraqi police discovered twenty decapitated corpses in north Baghdad yesterday.

In case any right wingers read this I do not want to be accused of ignoring the fact that this means that some Iraqi policemen actually showed up for work yesterday. Satisfied?

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  End of an era?
The glory days of petrol must surely be over if the German government is seriously considering speed limits for the autobahn. I am sure that Jeremy Clarkson is beside himself!

And yes this story does give me an opportunity, that I simply cannot resist, to titillate you musically with Kraftwerk.

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  How to get sacked successfully
Stan O'Neal, the (now former) head of Wall Street Bank Merrill Lynch has resigned (or "retired") after the company admitted it is exposed to somewhere between 7 and 12 billion USD in losses related to mortgage problems in the US. The good news for Mr. O'Neal and family is that he stands to "earn" nearly 160 million USD just for going away.

I have got to get me one of these jobs.

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  A brief detour down the high road
The Attorney General of Israel, Menachem Mazouz, has, temporarily at least, put a halt to the illegal plans to cut off fuel supplies to the Gaza Strip. I expect word of Mr. Mazouz's sacking quite soon.

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  Does America really want a President who can't do his maths?
Other than the one we have at the moment (who we don't really want). Well if we don't it is probably best not to vote for Rudy. I provide this information as a public service for those of you who have not as yet selected your "I won't be voting for Rudy Giuliani because" reason.

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  Planning a holiday in the states?
Now would probably be a good time to go.

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  "For God's sake don't flush!"
Officials in Germany were concerned after there were reports that each and every member of the Bundeswehr was using ten toilet rolls a day. With typical Teutonic efficiency a crack team investigated this shameful wastage only to find that the figure was actually ten SHEETS a day. A figure that amply shows the greenness of the German people. Sheryl Crow was said to be much relieved upon hearing of the revised figures.

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  Headline of the day
"Dog Shoots Down Hunter In Freak Accident".

The story provides no further explanation as to what "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney's spirit guide was doing in Poweshiek County Iowa.

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  Thanks but no thanks
The US Congress is trying to give the country's Consumer Product Safety Commission to take on a significantly increased budged, hire more staff (now that they've finally managed to get rid of most what they had) and try to do a better job of protecting American consumers but acting Commissioner Nancy Nord is having none of that and has quite unequivocally told Congress to keep the money. Ms. Nord's reticence is not surprising from someone who has worked only on one side of the corporate - consumer dialectic. (Guess which side! Go on!)

After all if the CPSC worked harder and found more toys full of lead what would be left to give to America's darling (and not at all overweight) children this Xmas! We should just leave product safety in the hands of those who know best - the business owners and their actuaries who can make appropriate, market driven decisions based on the trade offs between the cost of settling lawsuits and lost sales/higher costs.

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  When cows attack
A Sussex police inspector is finally out of hospital after recovering from wounds inflicted when he was attacked by about 50 (not) mad cows whilst enjoying the English countryside. So if you're planning a walk on the South Downs you should be on your highest bovine alert!

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  Value for money?
We'll never know what we are getting for the 43.5 billion USD the American government is spending on "intelligence" this year. All we can do is cross our fingers and hope against hope that they spend at least some of it wisely.

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  What they (accidentally) didn't tell you just might hurt you
It seems that when the White House edited the Congressional testimony of Centers for Disease Control Chief Julie Gerberding "for clarity" it is because they were shocked (shocked!) to find some clarity in it and that obviously had to be expunged!

What did they leave out?
Other than that I don't believe that they cut anything of substance.
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  "I'm a Big" Dick's bad news
That exclusive "hunt" club where US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney went "hunting" not very wild animals at the weekend has a 3 foot by 5 foot Confederate flag on display. Oh Dick, Dick, Dick. Did you really think no one would notice or, now that you have nearly completed your work on the Imperial presidency, do you simply not care?

And, pray tell, was the reaction of the Clove Valley Gun and Rod Club when asked for comment? Threaten the reporter in question with arrest.

For once I think Reverend Al doesn't go far enough. I think a demand that Cheney resign immediately is the only possible recompense for this "error". It is absolutely impossible for "I'm a Big" Dick or his team to be unaware of this ornamentation. There will have been Secret Service and Cheney staff advance teams crawling all over the venue for days, if not weeks, in advance.

Please Mr. Cheney. Just go now!

The goods news out of New York state is that this time, as far as I am aware, no human beings were shot by the Vice President either accidentally or with full intent.

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  War drums winning?
It is a truism of the political world that if you say something, anything, enough times it becomes the truth. That strategy seems to be working for the resilient and marginally insane neocons who continue to push, push, push for a strike on Iran; 52% of Americans support a strike against Iran. 53% expect someting to happen whilst Bush and his minions are still in charge. I am not in the first 52% but I think I am probably in the later 53%.

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  Above AND beyond the law
It appears that Blackwater not only has immunity in Iraqi law, kindly given to them when an American imperial potentate was running the country, but the the US State Department has taken steps to immunise them from US prosecution as well.

It's a better deal than even Scooter managed.

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  Roman slum lord to evict 4,000
Well the Vatican has to find the money to pick up the tab for the perversions of those pederast priest somehow. I reckon real estate speculation is as good a way as any. So if some people suffer in the here and now they will be rewarded in heaven no doubt!

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  Soon long gone

Today's adorable photo of a soon to be extinct primate is the Madagascan silky sifaka (aka Propithecus candidus).

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29 October 2007
  The failure of American democracy and justice
I really never believed I would see the day when a recent American cabinet secretary would have to flee the jurisdiction of a mature democracy in fear that he would be arrested for crimes against humanity.

It makes me sad. It really does.

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  "Perhaps you didn't understand me when I said that you HAD TO go!"
For reasons unknown US State Department staffers aren't queuing up for secondment to that lovely, palatial new embassy on the banks of the Euphrates and the State Department might be forced to order diplomats to go. Is this a milestone?

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  Can Christianity be cured?
These folks seem to think it can. As they are experts (or perhaps ex-experts might be more appropriat) I find I must agree with them!

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  Twisted American knickers
To the considerable outrage of the Americans the Yemeni authorities have released Jamal al-Badawi, one of the leaders of the bombing of the USS Cole that resulted in the deaths of 17 US sailors. Al-Badawi, who had previously escaped from prison after being convicted in the bombing, turned himself in and then was released after pledging his loyalty to the government and promising to give up terrorism. The US State Department expressed their displeasure and said that "he was convicted in Yemeni courts and has been indicted in the Southern District of New York".

I know that those who are not deep thinkers and might try to compare these actions to the release of known terrorist Luis Posada Carilles by American authorities and the refusal to extradite Sr. Posada to either Venezuela or Cuba where he is wanted on charges of organising the bombing of Cubana Flight 455 in 1976. The plane blew up over the Carribean and all 73 aboard died.

Well I can tell you that there is no similarity at all between these two cases. One is a bad, Muslim evildoer who attacked lovely Americans and the other is a good, Catholic choir boy who attacked evil communists! Unfortunately I can't shed any more light on this or I would have to kill you.

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  What's the matter with America?
Watch and learn!

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  Britain receives expert advice on terrorism
The British government is guilty of ignoring terrorism warnings leading up to the 7 July attacks according to Saudi King Abdullah. King Abdullah is something of an expert on ignoring terrorist warnings and activity so I think we should take him at his word.

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  Recall the ambassador!
The US Department of Homeland Security expertly detained a British cabinet minister, presumably on suspicion of terrorism, at Dulles airport in Washington DC yesterday.

In defence of the DHS Shahid Malik is brown AND Muslim AND had been running around the nation's capitol talking about acts of terrorism. He had been meeting with senior staff at the [drumroll] DHS! This is the second time Mr. Malik has been detained at US airports something that doesn't seem to happen to other, whiter cabinet ministers. Who says they aren't profiling passengers? Are they telling porkies again?

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