Yank in London
occasional musings on politics, culture and life in general from an american in exile


"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

Tom Paine - Common Sense

"A republic, sir, if you can keep it."

Benjamin Franklin

"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"

Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong

31 January 2008
  Captain Codpiece is a genius
According to this story in The Hill this year's federal budget will only be 200 US dollars which should leave hundreds of billions of dollars in surplus.

What's that you say? The budget isn't $200. The White House is charging $200 to see the budget? Oh my. That's rather different indeed. Nevermind.

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  For those times when you need to Taser someone but just can't be asked to aim

Presenting the Taser shotgun; coming soon to a woefully under-trained police force near you.
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  So how's that oil price working for you?
If you are Royal Dutch Shell I would say that it is working very well indeed as the company announces annual profits 27,600,000,000 US dollars. Now that may seem like an awful lot of money to you and me but it only comes to 875 USD per second!

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  Will anyone who thinks this is a bad idea please raise your hand
The great state of West Virginia is considering starting gun classes in the public schools because not enough of their citizens are marching off into the woods to kill Bambi's mum. Now I recognise that if one is going to use weapons that adequate training in safety and care is absolutely essential but I'm not sure that public schools are the appropriate venue. This is especially true for a state that seems to have significant room for improvement as regards their public education system; perhaps if they added gun play as a core curriculum in the No Child Left Behind Act.

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  Quote of the day
"All of the restrooms are functioning. We were able to serve lunch."

I see that school cafeteria food hasn't improved in the past 30 years!

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  "How many times do we have to tell you! God is not your co-pilot."
In what must be considered a worrying development for air travellers the co-pilot of an Air Canada flight had to physically removed from the cockpit and restrained after he started to "ask for God" whilst the plane was at 30,000 feet on the way to Heathrow. Clearly it was entirely sensible for these measures to be taken in order to preserve and protect lives but for some reason we seem to lack this good sense when someone with control over nearly all the lives on the planet behaves in exactly the same manner. One wonders why.


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  McCain's pumped up campaign
I think we had all better keep a close eye on Sen. McCain's physique. If he starts to suddenly bulk up we had best send him off for a drugs' test. After all he seems to be cornering the performance enhanced endorsement market. First he garnered the recommendation of Philly's own Sylvester Stallone who has recently spoken highly of the use of human growth hormone. Now he has admitted steroid abuser California governor Arnie Schwarzenegger on his side. McCain may or may not win the Republican nomination and/or the presidency but he is sure to hit 40 or more homeruns this season!

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  13:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Paging Sam-I-Am
There is a chicken in Cuautitlán, Mexico that has taken to laying what are alleged to be green eggs. Now I know that I have partial deuteranopia but the eggs in the picture look bloody gray to me!

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  13:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  Progress report
How many billions of taxpayer dollars and how many American and Afghan lives have been spent to turn Afghanistan into what it has been all along - a failed state? Of course this failed state is run by fiercely free market, drug manufacturing war lords rather than nasty fundamentalist Muslims so I reckon that's a significant improvement, innit?

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  Schadenfreude alert
There is nothing more ridiculous than the sight of an enormous 4x4 (aka "Chelsea tractor") attempting to navigate its way through the streets of inner, or even outer, London. So "Red" Ken Livingstone has my whole-hearted support in his plans for £25 (50 USD) a day congestion charge on these extravagant behemoths.

Note to Americans: you will see that he is running on his record of "a popular left-wing, reforming administration that has pursued groundbreaking policies in major areas such as equalities, the congestion charge, aiding the less well-off with cheap transport [and] climate change". What are the chances of that happening in America anymore?

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  12:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  The curse of The Office
Whilst the British version of the popular TV series is clearly superior it is not so certain which of the two host cities is worse: Slough or Scranton. I'm probably one of a small and illustrious group who has been to both and I'd give it to Scranton by a nose; if only because one can so easily escape to London from Slough - where one goes from Scranton is less clear!

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  12:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  So where do I go now?
I have been a Kucinich supported since the early days and, after he dropped out of the race to fight off the challenge to his House seat, I have to reassess my position. I was leaning heavily to John Edwards but now he is gone too! I find both remaining candidates less than satisfactory. Hillary because she is too right wing and too beholden to corporate/insider interests. Obama because he is still too much of a cipher and even where his positions seem to be clear, like on healthcare, I find that we disagree.

I have only until next Tuesday to make up my mind as I will be voting in the Democrats Abroad primary.

Meanwhile here's Edwards's statement.

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30 January 2008
  The madman at Number One Observatory Circle
As you may have noticed I am not exactly "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney's biggest fan but I didn't consider him possibly psychotic until now. He keeps a piece of the house in which al Qaeda lead Abu Musab al Zarqawi was blown up on display in his house. I wonder if he keeps on the mantelpiece next to the photos of the grand kids. Truly touching, innit?

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  Rudy we hardly knew ye!
The incredibly flawed brilliant "bet it all on Florida - they love me down there" strategy of Rudy "Did I Mention 9/11? Did I? Hunh? Did I?" Giuliani has gone done in flames and he now looks set to back John McCain. I leave it to Mr. Giuliani's predecessor as the mayor of New York, Ed Koch, to put this in perspective. "The beast is dead" said the former mayor!

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  How can this be?
It has taken over seven years but I can clearly say that there is one issue with which I agree with Our Great Leader, Captain Codpiece. This Great Man thinks that restrictions on US food aid to the poor and the starving should be lifted so that food can be bought locally and considerable expense saved. As it is US food "aid" represent more in the way of back door subsidies for US farmers than they do in actual aid to those in need.

I am not sure why Captain Codpiece thinks this way but in this (extremely) isolated case he is right and the Democratic Congress that will oppose him is wrong.

Now I have to slip off and take some extra medication. I don't fell well at all.

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  The news from Florida
Hillary declares victory and marches on. Do you think her campaign understands the primary was just a "friendly" and that she didn't actually win anything (and that she had to cheat to manage that)?

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  "This is FISA. This is your life on FISA. Get it?"
A 30 second primer from US Senator Russ Feingold. (Why didn't he run for President?)

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  14:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  A cowardly act
It has been argued by many, generally unsuccessfully, that suicide bombing is the act of a coward. I think that one can make a more compelling argument that to torture someone is a cowardly act. After all, it is the imposition of physical and/or psychological suffering on a human being unable to resist or fight back. (It is certainly the act of a sadist.)

What I find truly reprehensible though is for the highest legal officer of the country that flatteringly likes to paint itself as the beacon of freedom and justice for the planet Earth to refuse to address the issue of torture full stop. What US Attorney General Michael Mukasey seems to have said is that water-boarding either is or is not torture, that it is a very hard question that is beyond his limited capacity and that he won't rule it and he won't rule it out.

By taken this craven and unprincipled stance Mr. Mukasey is actually doing is leaving the decision and responsibility up to American officers in the field, thereby exposing them to possible criminal liability. (Whilst the US has refused to sign up to the International Criminal Court unless it promises never to prosecute any American official there would still be exposure to criminal and/or civil liability in the country where the crime allegedly took place or in the country of citizenship of those so abused.) Mr. Mukasey would also seem to be developing a case for the defence of "plausible deniability" for himself, Captain Codpiece and "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney, amongst others, should any truly free country and democratic ever get their mitts on them.

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  And it's just a week away!
Don't worry. I've notified le Général of this important, if perhaps ill-fated, attempt to save the heathen French.

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  Where do I sign up?
According to US Representative Al Wynn (D - MD) there is a "vast...left-wing conspiracy" that is hard at work ensuring he does not get re-elected. Why was I not notified? Who is in charge of this? I would like to register a complaint!

Some experts, though, seem to think he won't get far with his complaint to the Federal Election Commission.

"Interestingly, and unlike most complaints filed with the Federal Election Commission, there's not a single provision of federal campaign finance law directly cited in the complaint," attorney Paul Ryan said. "Several of the allegations, in my view, make clear the complainant doesn't really have a clear understanding of what constitutes coordination under federal law."

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  In der Marine
Boys do need to let loose every now and then as the German Navy amply demonstrates here.

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  13:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why do I think that this will all come to nothing?
The American FBI is busy investigating a number of major financial players for fraud in the sub-prime lending crisis that is slowing enveloping the globe. Don't they understand that big business taking advantage of poor people is not fraud it is capitalism?

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  Why does Congress hate rowing?
I keep hearing accusations that the United States Congress is set to allow FISA to expire. Does this mean no Dad Vail in Philly this spring?

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  12:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  And to think I thought they were just being polite
I've lived in London for over 15 years now and, although my accent was never terribly strong, it has softened considerably over the years. Nonetheless I have not acquired a south London accent and it is fairly clear to most Brits, if not most Americans, that I am from North America. It is not uncommon for me to get the "are you Canadian?" question when meeting new people. I always thought it was because people were uncertain as to whether I am a Yank or a Canuck and, assuming that a Yank would less likely to be insulted by being mistaken for a Canuck than the reverse, that they were simply erring on the side of caution. I am no longer certain that that is the case.

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  12:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  Would you like ice with that?
It is a shame that global climate change is just a figment of the imaginations of those who wish to destroy America because if it were real it might go a long way towards explaining where Baffin Island's ice is going.

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29 January 2008
  Losing the will to live
The bad news about global climate change continues to come; something new nearly everyday. So far I've been able to face up to the prospect of 10s of millions of refugees, killer droughts, freak weather and the threat of global hunger. But if there's going to be no coffee I am certain to lose the strength to go on; in the mornings anyway!

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  Could Gordon Ramsey be our next f***ing Prime Minister?
Well if Thailand can elect a celebrity chef as premier I don't see why we shouldn't as well.

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  Well if they put some bloody chemicals in it this probably wouldn't have happened
A Canadian firm by the name of My Organic Baby has had to recall some of its baby food after discovering it had gone bad. They, along with the Canadian government department responsible, did wait a bit though. They probably just wished to ensure that the food was indeed rancid after all!

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  17:43:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - (almost) all life is sacred edition
On this day in 1998 an abortion clinic in Birmingham AL was bombed killing a police officer. The bomb was planted by right-to-life-terrorist Eric Rudolph who was captured five years later after other bombings and is currently serving his (right-to-)life sentence.

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  I almost forget
It's Say-Goodbye-to-Rudy-Tuesday. He will barely be missed.

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  17:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  I'm all for government being efficient but...
..given that the US Internal Revenue Service has an annual budget in excess of 9 billion USD one would think that they wouldn't have to rely on Wikepedia for legal definitions that they are going to rely on in court.

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  17:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Across the great water things are a bit different
Whilst America's Federal Communications Commission thinks it is an appropriate use of its time and authority to fine TV stations about 1.5 million USD for a five second shot of a woman's buttocks, which it seems to think is either a sexual or an excretory organ, in the Netherlands they are having a discussion as to whether it is appropriate to screen Deep Throat on public television and the argument centres not on whether actual sex shown be shown on telly, silly question, but rather whether the film is a specific example of the sexual exploitation of women.

And people ask why I live in exile!

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  Lame duck limps out
I have nothing to say at the moment regarding Captain Codpiece's ultimate State of the Union Address, barring a coup d’état. I didn't watch it - I badly need my beauty sleep. I haven't read it as yet and am unsure I will have the strength to do so. Perhaps tomorrow. I doubt I missed anything of any import. I did see a snippet on the news and I cannot understand what this impotent, failure of a "leader" could have said to make anyone stand and applaud; other than "I quit" naturally.

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  16:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  Playing to the base
I suspect that he hoped that no one was looking; what with all of the excitement surrounding his final (Isn't the) State of the Union (Dire?) Address. Yesterday, Captain Codpiece's minions announced that they will open up an additional 3,000,000 acres (1.2 million hectares) of Alaskan wilderness to satisfy the voracious appetites of the country's logging interests. Well at least someone ended the day happy.

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  This is perfectly understandable
Today's Guardian carries a story that raises the question of whether the US Ambassador to the United Nations, Afghan born neocon Zalmay Khalilzad, secretly scuppered Paddy Ashdown's bid to become the new UN "super" envoy to the country. And if he did, so what? After all Lord Ashdown freely admits to being a Liberal Democrat!

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  Do not watch this clip unless you have 1.47 million USD handy!
The only reasonable reaction to the FCC's fines for the clip below (NSFW in America only) is "you've got to be fucking kidding me!". After all this is "indecent" but the government's war on American freedom and its war on the Iraqi people is not.

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  It was a bad year for some...
Lot's of Americans have lost their homes in the past year. Many have lost their savings or their jobs. Even more are financially strapped and trapped in a circle of unredeemable debt.

But if you work on Wall Street it was still a bloody good year and the bonuses keep on coming.

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  15:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why Captain Codpiece is a lot like me
He'd talk about sex than about God. I don't think that is going to impress Her much but it impresses me. I wonder if it impresses the Republican base.

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28 January 2008
  Today in infamy - "damn thing won't fit!" edition

Today is the fiftieth birthday of Legos.To celebrate go put something together with your kid, no matter how old he or she is.

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  Today in infamy
Twenty one years ago today the space shuttle Challenger blew up less than two minutes after launch killing all aboard.

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  How many McA-levels have you got?
"Only three. I got A-s in 'hiding the brown lettuce' and 'trans fat identification' but only a C in 'would you like fries with that'. I kept calling them chips.

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  Now how in the heck did this happen?
Iraq has formally signed up to the Kyoto Protocol. I can only assume that the Republic's Supreme Potentate His Imperial Highness Emperor George the Last will veto the measure!

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  Where did our humanity go?
How much longer will the world stand silently by as the state of Israel commits crimes against humanity against the 1.3 million residents of Gaza? Does Israel have such a stranglehold of guilt on the world's conscience that we allow the state to be immune from condemnation? Imagine if the situation were reversed. Arabs were occupying Jewish lands; the Jews were violently resisting and using terrorist tactics, as they did against British rule; and the Arabs react by shutting off supplies to a ghetto containing more than a million Jews. Would we still be silent and stand by and watch? I think not.

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  Does this count as white slavery?
Karren Brady took over as the MD of Birmingham City at the tender age of 23. Over the past 15 years she's made rather a good job of it and the team is on solid ground. However somewhere along the way she married a footballer, Paul Peschisolido, and she has sold him twice. That's just not on in my book.

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  13:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  I take back all the bad things I ever said about British Rail*
I have lived here long enough to constantly whinge about the state of the rail service; a service that I first thought was brilliant when I first moved here. I have subsequently experienced proper rail service in France, Germany, the Netherlands and even Italy. Despite the inadequacies that we have to live with every day I don't think British Rail has ever stranded a half a million passengers in one station!

*Note: British Rail hasn't existed for years but the term is still used to generically complain about the privatised chaos that is the "system" of railways left behind by Maggie.

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  12:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  I guess junkies just don't vote Republican
They would also seem to count less than the unborn foetuses the pre-born. The White House is opposed to the use of Narcan by drug users to save post-born human lives. I reckon that is what God wants.

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  12:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Meet the new judge, same as the old judge
In 2006 the New Labour government of Tony Blair brought in New rules intended to break the stranglehold that white male barristers, educated in public schools and Oxbridge, have on the high court. Since that time 10 high court judges have been appointed. All are male; all are barristers; six were educated in public schools.

There is one Australian though if that counts an oppressed minority. I guess it is good to see that there is at least one Australian in the country who isn't working in a pub. (I say that but I don't know what Justice Cranston does with his weekends!)

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  12:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Spinning around
Now why didn't I think of this? This essay describes how we can be certain that the Christian Bible is the word of God because She tells us so in the Christian Bible.

I am suddenly dizzy. I think I need to sit down!

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  11:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  Quote of the day

"They want to ban sex toys, but sell guns on every street corner. When was the last time anyone was murdered with a vibrating banana?"

A citizen of Alabama as quoted in an editorial in the Tuscaloosa News.

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  11:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I am Tom Cruise and I approve this threat message"
Author Ian Halperin, who infiltrated celebrity cult, Scientology, and told of it in a book has gone into hiding after receiving anonymous death threats in phone calls. I am sure it was just a prankster unrelated to the "church" and not Tom and Katie's au pair.

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27 January 2008
  What will we call them then?
After the water runs out will they be the They-Used-to-Be-Great-but-Now-They're-Barely-Lakes?

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  Today in infamy - special cut and run edition
On this day in 1973 the Paris Peace Accords ending the Vietnam War were signed by North Vietnam and a Republican American government.

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  15:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Dear Senator McCain
I am not not your friend and I wish that you would cease and desist suggesting otherwise in your public appearances.

Thank you in advance.

Sincerely,

Yank in London

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  15:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  "He did it!"

Republican spokesmodel Peggy Noonan, shown here demonstrating the length of an imaginary piece of string, turns on Captain Codpiece:
"George W. Bush destroyed the Republican Party, by which I mean he sundered it, broke its constituent pieces apart and set them against each other. He did this on spending, the size of government, war, the ability to prosecute war, immigration and other issues."

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  15:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - it snows in Oswiecim

On this date in 1945 the evil Soviets liberated the death camps at Auschwitz and Birkenau.

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  15:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  The market hath spoken
Who are we to argue with the omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent yet invisible of hand of the free market? Why should American health insurance companies be compelled to actually provide healthcare?

A reminder for Reaganites: there will be no rationing in America!

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  15:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  Paging Chicken Little
The spy is falling.

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  15:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Keeping the base happy
It looks as if Captain Codpiece, suddenly gone veto mad, will veto the temporary extension to the FISA act because it does not contain the provision he demands to protect the rights of the American people big telecoms companies. Not to hard to see what side he is really on if you still have doubts.

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  Oh dear!
If the Observer is to be believed the recent Captain Codpiece Legacy '08 Tour through the Middle East was an abject failure. They note that, even though Our Great Leader has nearly a year remaining in his reign term, the dissection of his legacy has already begun and, so far at least, the reviews are all negative.

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  15:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  I like to call them the Magdalenes
Meet the (ex)-hookers for Jesus; appropriately based in Las Vegas so there is no shortage of sinners available.

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26 January 2008
  Definitely NOT starring Robert Redford
"The Mitt Whisperer"





One has to admit that this guy is looking more and more like the true heir to Captain Codpiece; which is, I think, reason enough, not to elect him!

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  15:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  Iraq been berry, berry good to ExxonMobil
The oil giant and a former employer of mine, to my eternal shame, looks set to post the largest profit ever thanks to Captain Codpiece's excellent work to make the world safe for petro-chemical companies, Halliburton and Blackwater.

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  15:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  Did the members of the FCC fail high school health class?
Apparently they think that the human buttocks is either a sexual or excretory organ and on that basis plan to fine stations that aired an episode of "NYPD Blue" about one and a half million USD. The scene that is so offensive to these poor folks featured the "naked buttocks" of a woman. I'm off to do some research (please assist me if I come up to you on the street) but I'm almost certain that the buttocks is neither sexual (see "vagina" / "penis") or excretory (see "anus") and that in fact I don't think it is even an organ.

What must Americans think when they watch telly in other countries (or is this why they don't seem to leave the country?).

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  14:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - bad day the aborigines edition
On this date in 1788 Sydney Australia was first settled by several ship loads of largely Irish convicts. If they thought they had it bad they should have been native Australians for whom things got much worse, very quickly.

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  14:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!
If there is a God She does not give a flying fuck about (American) football, OK? If the voices in your head are telling you otherwise please consult a mental health professional post haste. Oh, and coaching highly paid, drug enhanced behemoths is not a "pulpit".

That is all.

(I do find it most amusing that this is reported by the Christian press who seem to think that She does care about (American) football.)

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  14:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why do the (remaining) polar bears hate America?
Those deep thinkers at the Heritage Society think that if polar bears are listed as endangered species, should the EPA ever get around to acting on this of course, it will harm the American economy (but keep Americans from getting their hands on the oil and natural gas in Alaska) and therefore the bears must die. One can only be impressed by their clear and concise thinking. I can only assume that they believe this would be legal under the "national security" provision of the Endangered Species Act because if there was ever a national security issue it is the right of Americans to have ridiculously cheap energy in order to support their profligate lifestyle (and to fill up the Hummers).

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  14:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  How safe are your data?
Not very if the Inland Revenue are to be believed. Ordinary citizens like me are allowed, even encouraged, to file their tax returns on line but the royal family, Members of Parliament and celebrities are prevented from doing so because of privacy concerns. Hmmm. I reckon its the postal system for me as well then!

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  14:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  Cop killers!
I wonder how the right wing American media, generally so fiercely condemnatory of any killing of law enforcement personnel, will treat this story of nine Afghan policemen* "accidentally" killed by US soldiers. Perhaps there are special rules for brown cops from a brown country.

*Clearly the civilian deaths must be ignored.

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  12:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  It couldn't happen to a nicer guy
If there was ever anyone who deserved to face Zimbabwean "justice", besides Robert Mugabe of course, it is all around bad guy Nicholas von Hoogstraten. A friend of mine who is a solicitor worked on his prosecution for the killing of business associate and I can assure you that Mr. von Hoogstraten is a piece of bad work indeed.

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  12:17:00 0 comments links to this post
  (Don't) look away now
When the Burmese dictatorship cracked down, once again, on its on population, killing and interring dissidents, the leaders of our western countries mumbled a few platitudes and our newspapers and broadcast media filed a few stories; then we "moved on".

The junta hasn't and the repression and human rights violations continue. I though you should know.

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  12:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  If I had ever been here before
It is a case of déjà vu all over again as Iraqi forces are preparing for the grandmother of all battles that will certainly end the insurgency once and for all, or at least until after the State of the Union speech. Iraqi forces have also made good progress toward wiping out a messianic Shi'a cult, this is not a real religion like Mormonism or Scientology, in the south of the country.

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  11:55:00 0 comments links to this post
  Going postal - Canuck-style
Pay attention now. This is why guns kill people. If this gentleman in an Edmonton shopping centre had been armed with an assault rifle rather than a hockey stick people would be dead. Yes he did injure people, some probably badly, but no one is dead.

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  11:43:00 0 comments links to this post
  This is not, as yet, an edorsement!
John Edwards has a droll new ad.

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  11:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  God's diet
Because the Lord, should She in fact exist, has nothing better to do with Her time than tell the obese when to eat. Because the "faithful" are there to be preyed up.

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  11:37:00 0 comments links to this post
25 January 2008
  Anyone know any good John Gibson jokes?
We are going to need to have a great deal of material saved up for when the Faux News bigot with the injection molded hair dies. We wouldn't want to pass up an opportunity for a feeble and ill-timed joke, now would we?

If anyone Faux News had an moral fibre he would have been sacked by now but that is a terribly big ask for them.

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  16:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  Farewell!
Well none of us expected Dennis Kucinich to win the Democratic nomination but I would have liked to see him stay on and try and keep some discussion of real issues occurring. However he has to call it a day and concentrate on retaining his House seat; a task that has grown more difficult as he has been targeted by corporate interests and their right wing brown shirts.

Thanks Dennis! My endorsement remains as there is no one else in the race in whom I can genuinely believe.

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  15:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why does Captain Codpiece hate the brave men and women in uniform?
Any budget that he sends to Congress that does not even attempt to fund the current (illegal) wars should be treated as dead on arrival and returned post haste. Otherwise they legislative branch would not be fulfilling their divine obligation to provide total and unequivocal support for our brave fighting persons in a time of War!

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  15:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  McCain presidency assured!
The aged one has received the critical and much sought after endorsement of confessed drug smuggler and former Philadelphia Sylvester Stallone. With Mr. Stallone, whose new Rambo installment is truly family friendly, at his side no one will worry about Senator McCain's cojones.

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  15:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  This is either terribly ironic...
...or the case of the perfect man for the job. Paul "Is There Enough Spit in My Hair" Wolfowitz has been appointed head of the US Department of State's International Security Advisory Board whose role is primarily related to arms control. According to the New York Times article the Board used to provide "insight" to the Secretary of State, Conocoleezza Rice. I can only assume that this will be replaced with wild hallucination and fantasy.

In other ways Mr. Wolfowitz, who has spent much of the past few years being forced out of jobs for various improprieties, is perfect for this job. He can imagine the pariah state of his choice to be in posses ion of non-existent weapons of mass destruction. When said state is then found not to have any such weapons, after a messy and illegal invasion, he can then claim that this is only due to his extreme efforts as an "arms control" official. (No additional thought required.)

I can only assume that this position does not require Senate confirmation because, even with the current batch of inept and impotent Democrats in charge, there is no way that is going to happen.

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  15:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  An editorial note to the Anti-Defamation League
Dear sirs,

I would have thought you well educated enough to realise that it is inappropriate to use the term anti-Semitic to describe Arabs. As I am sure you are fully aware Arabs are, like Jews, a Semitic people and are therefore your brothers. A more appropriate term for what you seem to wish to communicate is "anti-Judaic" and I would recommend that you use it in the future.

I hope this was helpful.

Sincerely,

Yank in London

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  15:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Democracy at work

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  15:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  Philly hits the big time!
Philadelphia has always had a bit of an inferiority complex, undeserved in my opinion, especially as regards its bigger neighbour to the northeast. Well not after yesterday I should think. The City of Brotherly Love was blessed with an appearance by none other than mega-semi-pro internet porn starlet and walking talking advertisement for a 98% estate tax Paris Hilton who showed up at the local outlet mall to promote her new film.

(What? Film? For fucks sake!)

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  14:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Are we allowed to mention this?
Long term use of the birth control pill leads to a material reduction in the risk of contracting ovarian cancer. Is it OK to mention this to young women or will we just be encouraging them to go out and shag their socks off?

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  14:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  Not exactly news
The Italian government led by Romano Prodi has collapsed after losing a vote of confidence. Thus ends Sr. Prodi's year and half in office as head of the 61st Italian government since the end of World War II.

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  14:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Well he never said he was an art critic

Captain Codpiece's favourite painting is W.H.D. Koerner's "A Charge to Keep"; he even nicked the title for his premature autobiography. The only trouble with this is he apparently believes that it portrays a minister on horseback off to convert the heathens of the wild west when in fact it illustrates a horse thief fleeing a lynch mob; a fitting allegory for the Bush presidency I should think.

File this in that already over-stuffed folder: "things that George W. Bush believes to be true when in fact they are not".

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  14:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  They really do love freedom don't they?
Meghan O'Sullivan, a former assistant something or other in the Bush administration, has had to abruptly cancel a public speech at Indiana University after some members of the awkward squad insisted that it be a public speech. According to Ms. O'Sullivan (pictured below in case you've forgotten who she was and what she did): "it's a common practice for people who leave government not to give on-the-record interviews for a certain period after they leave government...I have spoken widely off-the-record and it has been respected".

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  13:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Wow - Jesus had one long body, didn't he?
At least if you think that this deformity inside a Colorado potato looks anything like Jesus he had one long body. Just thinking of all those spuds that I've eaten, which contained similar malformations that I failed to recognise as the son of God, makes me worry about where I am going to end up in the hereafter.

More mash anyone?

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  13:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  All in the family
Because she has done such a bang up job on her own daughters Lynn Spears is to have the honour of raising her grandchild, the progeny of pregnant 16 year old Jamie Lynne. The youngest Ms. Spears wants to concentrate on her career, like any normal 16 year old would.

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  12:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Happy Burns Night


Address To A Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn,
they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,
Are bent lyke drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
"Bethankit!" 'hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him ower his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a haggis!

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  12:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  God's show must go on
A priest at the Church of the White Madonna in Trento continued on with his mass after one of his parishioner had a heart attack and died during the service. The dead man was covered up and left at the back of the church. Said Father Peron:

"What could I have done?...The Holy Mass has to be celebrated. It is not right to make an exception for one individual."

I hope that the good Father switched to the Missa Requiem at the very least!

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  12:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  All immunity, all the time
The Bush administration has been busy pushing retroactive immunity from lawsuits, criminal prosecution is obviously off the table, for telecommunications companies who probably broke the law, and certainly violated the privacy and trust of their customers, by aiding and abetting the federal government in tapping phone call and email traffic without any warrant. The press has been giving this some coverage (more on this later).

However they are also insisting that the supposedly sovereign Iraqi "government" shield US contractors, think Blackwater & Halliburton, from Iraqi and one assumes international law.

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  12:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  I can only assume that this teenager is white (and probably Christian)...
...as, despite the fact that everyone seems to agree that intended to hijack and crash a passenger plane he is never described as either an (alleged) terrorist or an (alleged) evil doer.

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  12:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  This must have been one small cow

I don't know how else to explain how these thieves were able to get the bovine contraband into the back seat of a Proton Wira.

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  12:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  Oh dear
Senator Boxer (D - CA) bitch slaps the head of the EPA Stephen Johnson over his lack of cooperation and his attempt to conceal information from Congress related to "his" decision to deny California the authority to regulate tailpipe emissions despite the advice of his staff. (Watch until the end for the "tape" moment.)


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  12:07:00 0 comments links to this post
  Run, Jesus, run!
You can help elect Jesus as president, thereby ensuring that America retain its rightful place as the only truly Christian nation, by JesusIn2008.com. He needs your help!

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  11:58:00 0 comments links to this post
24 January 2008
  I wish they had called this something else
The Center for Public Integrity has decided to name their report on the hundreds of lies told to us by Captain Codpiece and his minions "The War Card". Somehow this makes be think of a school report card. Well anyone who takes home a report card as bad as this generally has to repeat the grade and I think that is the last thing we want!

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  15:50:00 0 comments links to this post
  What would you do with 720 million dollars a day?


(Brought to you by those traitorous peaceniks at the American Friends Service Committee.)

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  15:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today's assignment
The Philadelphia Jewish Voice has an Michael Weinstein, head of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation. Go read it.

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  15:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why just suspend the Constitution when you can abrogate it?
US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney wants eternal warrant-less wiretapping and spying to accompany the Eternal Global War on Terra. (He would also, like the Tin Woodman, wish to have a heart!)

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  14:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Attention Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi
I thought you might like to see what you could do should you ever wish to try. I hope you found this helpful and enlightening.

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  14:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  They obviously have never been in my flat!
Some people seem to think that we're running out of dirt. All kidding aside the loss of more and more top soil it going to make it difficult, if not impossible, to feed the nine billion people we're going to have in around forty years (not to mention growing what we need to keep America's Hummers humming with bio-fuel). Extreme weather, both too much and too little rain, is only going to exacerbate the problem.

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  14:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  Cheez Whiz off the menu at Rudy headquarters
It seems that Rudy "Did I Mention 9-11, Did I, Huh Did I?" Giuliani has lost the critical Joey Vento endorsement. I reckon this means he's lost the South Philly vote!

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  14:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  He has a gift
Captain Codpiece's ever so brief visit to Egypt during his recent Legacy 08 Tour has served to worsen relations between Washington and Cairo. Can someone help me? I can't think of anything that he has touched, at least recently, that hasn't turned into a complete pile of shite. Is there anything I've forgotten?

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  13:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Adieu à la Hain
Beleaguered deputy Labour leader Peter Hain has resigned his position as the case into the dodgy donations to his deputy leadership campaign is referred to the police. The eterna-tanned Mr. Hain has vowed to fight to clear the remnants of his good name.

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  13:50:00 0 comments links to this post
  God hates (actors that play) fags!
Breaking news: renowned Christian thinker Fred Phelps and his tribe plan to picket the funeral of actor Heath Ledger who died suddenly earlier this week.

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  13:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Was this the ulterior motive?
It seems that the state of Israel is claiming that it no longer wants to illegally occupy Gaza now that the blockaded Gazans, who were being collectively punished by Israel in violation of international law, have broken down the barrier between the strip and Egypt in order to buy food and fuel that was being illegally denied them by Israel. (I have noticed with some disgust that a number of right wing sites and even some newspapers, have sneeringly referred to this as the Gazans "going shopping" as if they were out to pick a pair of Ferragamo for that cocktail party on Saturday night.) If Israel decides to drop its responsibility as the occupying entity, a responsibility that they have never fully acknowledged, will the international community allow them to get away with it and if they do so will this eliminate Captain Codpiece's half-hearted call for a contiguous Palestinian state?

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  12:22:00 0 comments links to this post
23 January 2008
  Don't Americans get out of their cars for anything anymore?
I know I have been gone awhile, (I passed the 15 year mark a couple of years ago and I haven't actually been in the states since just before Captain Codpiece's first inauguration), but I don't recall any drive through chemists shops. Perhaps if you got out and walked a bit every now and then less medication might be required.

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  16:33:00 1 comments links to this post
  Must try harder!
Former Senator and B list actor Fred Thompson has dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. I wish I could say that he gave the "go old college try"; but I can't.

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  16:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  How could we have got it so wrong?
Noted child care & family expert (and walking, talking advertisement for a 99% inheritance tax) Paris Hilton tells us that Britney Spears is a "great mother". Thanks for that Paris. Should we require any additional input on this matter don't call us, we'll call you.

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  15:55:00 0 comments links to this post
  So where's the statistics?
A new study jointly released by the Center for Public Integrity and the Fund for Independence in Journalism catalogues over 900 lies and damned lies that spewed from the mouths of Captain Codpiece and his evil minions ("I'm a Big" Dick Cheney, Conocoleezza Rice, Donald "Unknowing the Knowns" Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Paul "Is There Spit in My Hair?" Wolfowitz, Ari Fleischer and Scott McClellan) in the run up to the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq. Some folks seem to think that the fact that all of these lies have been pointed out before somehow means that these statements are now true (or something like that) and even if not its Comrade Soros's fault.

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  15:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  When a language dies
89 year old Marie Smith Jones, who was the only known fluent speaker of Eyak has died in Anchorage. Her language goes with her.

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  15:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  This is a fucking misdemeanour?
Whatever happened to the Eternal Global War on Terra? Someone one suspects that if the man who had "accidentally" carried a gun through security at RR Airport in Washington had been named Muhamed al Rawani rather than Gregory Hinkle he would be enjoying the splendid facilities at Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Club rather than facing the misdemeanour that is, in Virgina at least, "possessing or transporting a firearm into an airline terminal".

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  14:59:00 1 comments links to this post
  Progress report (part II)
Never have so few spent so much to bring so little to so many. Disgraceful, isn't it?

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  12:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  What's a lap dog to do?
His Great Eminence, former British Prime Minister and continuing Captain Codpiece succubus, St. Tony Blair is facing fierce criticism from the side that doesn't count over his failure to confront the Israelis over their illegal occupation and crimes against humanity. One wonders why they expected more.

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  12:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  It should be interesting to see how this pans out
Jewish residents of illegally occupied land in Gush Etzion on the illegally occupied West Bank are suing Israel Electric Company for refusing to upgrade the illegal electric supply to their illegally occupied homes.

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  12:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Could this be the end of a beautiful friendship?
It seems that the Brits aren't all that keyed up about that family values thing, at least using the American definition. Over the past twenty years marriage has fallen out of favour; gays are OK; families are a hodge podge of step & half siblings.

As for God; She fell out of favour a long time ago. I wonder when the US will close its embassy (and whether they will settle their bill before they leave).

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  12:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Looking for an Arab saviour?
"Yanks Out - Dubai SOS". Why do Scousers hate America? Shouldn't we expect better from a European City of Culture?

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  12:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Storyteller
Today's Guardian features a brief interview with the 95 year old Studs Terkel. The following is first bit:

About 25 years ago, Studs Terkel was waiting for a number 146 bus alongside two well-groomed business types. "This was before the term yuppie was used," he explains. "But that was what they were. He was in Brooks Brothers and Gucci shoes and carrying the Wall Street Journal under his arm. She was a looker. I mean stunning - Bloomingdales and Neiman Marcus and carrying Vanity Fair."

Terkel, who is 95, has long been a Chicago icon, every bit as accessible and integral to the cultural life of the Windy City as Susan Sontag was to New York. He had shared the bus stop with this couple for several mornings but they had always failed to acknowledge him. "It hurts my ego," he quips. "But this morning the bus was late and I thought, this is my chance." The rest of the story is his.

"I say, 'Labour Day is coming up.' Well, it was the wrong thing to say. He looks toward me with a look of such contempt it's like Noel Coward has just spotted a bug on his collar. He says, 'We despise unions.' I thought, oooooh. The bus is still late. I've got a winner here. Suddenly I'm the ancient mariner and I fix him with my glittering eye. 'How many hours a day do you work?' I ask. He says, 'Eight.' 'How comes you don't work 18 hours a day like your great-great-grandfather did? You know why? Because four guys got hanged in Chicago in 1886 fighting for the eight-hour day ... For you.'

"Well, he was scared and nervous and the bus was still late. I've got this guy pinned up against the mailbox. He couldn't get away. 'How many days a week do you work?' I went on. Well, then the bus came and I never saw them again. But I think that every workday morning she was looking from the 15th floor of their apartment block to see if that mad man was still there."

America could have used a few dozen more of the likes of him.

The occasion of the interview is that Mr. Terkel has a new book out entitled Touch and Go.

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  12:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  Progress report
According to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees fully 20% of Iraqi refugees in Syria had experienced violence or torture in Iraq before fleeing the country. The torture will obviously have been at the hands of the evil doers because the US doesn't torture!

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  11:58:00 0 comments links to this post
22 January 2008
  What will they think of next?
Has this ever been done before? A ship crossing the Atlantic powered solely by a sail kite?

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  17:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Hardly unexpected
Over the past seven years if we have learned one thing it is that the Bush administration hasn't got a plan or strategy for anything (expect perhaps funnelling tax money to big business) so we should not be surprised to learn that they haven't got an IT strategy in the White House.

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  16:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  This is cool!
The British Library website has an online gallery of record players. For those of you too young to know what a record player is; ask your mum. I'm not going to explain it (again)!

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  16:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  Do cannon fodder really need a high school diploma?
Let's certainly hope not as the US military continues to get fewer and fewer high school graduates and fails to meet its own ridiculously low target of 90% graduates. Last year they only managed 71%. 71%!

Perhaps this explains why Captain Codpiece never (really) served; what will all those fancy degrees he has.

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  16:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Maybe they should carve Reagan's visage onto the face of this
Down in Florida there is a bit of a brouhaha over whether a company known as Waste Management should be allowed to extend the reach of Mt. Trashmore another 55 feet to 280 feet in height. The locals are resisting this effort because they believe the extra altitude will be an "eyesore and bring foul odors". Doesn't it do that already?

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  16:43:00 0 comments links to this post
  Hostage drama resolved sucessfully!
Jesus has been released unharmed! And the situation now seems to be a bit of a domestic rather being a case of wiener poop rage.

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  16:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Surely this must be bad science
Otherwise how can one explain God allowing this to happen given how much She hates ho-mo-sexuals!

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  16:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  I smell a veto coming
The UN Security Council is to meet in an emergency sessions to discuss the crime against humanity currently being committed by Israel re Gaza. I'm sure that Captain Codpiece won't let those UN weenies say anything bad about his (only?) friends.

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  16:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  Maybe it's the HGH*!
Rambo seems to be killing faster than ever before.

* The stuff certainly hasn't made him any taller. I'm not even sure he is 5'9". I've seen him and he is only ever so slightly taller than me.

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  16:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  War in West Chester?
The state of play of in the town outside of which I grew up.

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  16:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  Whatever happened to Myanmar?
Turns out nothing. We, or at least our fabulous "free" press, just seem to have lost interest.

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  15:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  I love the smell of rate cuts in the morning...
...it smells like panic. The US Federal Reserve Bank has cut the basis interest rate, on an emergency basis between regular meetings, not by 0.25%, not by 0.50% but by 0.75%. The market doesn't seem interested though as stocks take a dive (three twists in the tuck position - degree of difficulty 4.2).

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  15:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Your tax dollars at work
It seems the good senators from Kansas and Missouri, Messrs. Brownback and Bond have been using earmarks to send federal money, about 1 million USD last year, to a local church for what seems suspiciously like proselytising. And the wall came tumbling down.

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  15:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Pharm-a-loot
Kudos are owed to SMDC Health System, a business that runs hospitals and clinics in Minnesota. The company decided that having all of those pharmaceutical company freebies hanging about, reminding practitioners to use these branded medications and supplies, was a clear conflict of interest; so they removed them from their facilities. There were nearly 20,000 items that filled up 20 shopping trolleys. Rather a lot I think.

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  15:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  One has got to pick one's fights carefully
I think there will come a time that toymaker Ty Inc will regret its decision to refuse to recall lead tainted toys in Illinois by claiming that federal law takes precedent. I think all of those mums and dads out there might miss the significance of the legal nicety.

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  15:14:00 0 comments links to this post
  Well he's still a bum (at the bare minimum)

"How did Bush go from being an alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world?

- Oliver Stone explaining the plot line to his planned new film on George W. Bush (working title "The Trifecta Man")

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  15:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - special pre-born edition
On this day in 1973, a mere 35 years ago, the US Supreme Court announced its decision in Roe v Wade allowing women to control their own bodies.

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  12:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  Where do I collect?
Community's Secretary Hazel Blears has announced plans that could lead to council tax refunds if the services your council provides are rubbish. And let us face it; all councils provide rubbish services, do they not?

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  12:41:00 0 comments links to this post
21 January 2008
  "Fuck the planet there's money to be stolen made!"
The US is warning the EU that there will be no toleration of the mamby pamby excuse "climate change" as an excuse to create "barriers to trade".

That's that settled then.

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  16:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  Where, o where, are the strict constructionists now?
The Republican Party tells us that the authority for warrantless electronic surveillance is inherent in the Constitution. They don't actually mention where exactly, but it's there. No doubt about it!

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  15:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  And I think that Chuck Norris is too old to be making action/martial arts films*
Not that I think that Chuck Norris is wrong to say that John McCain is too old to be president.

*And too talentless to make anything else!

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  15:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  I am sure that this is all just a misunderstanding
I mean what reason could the FBI possibly have to lie about the existence of one silly little file just because it might contain evidence that the US government might be a source of nuclear secrets for those that the US government claims it doesn't wish to have nuclear secrets?

And all of this from a Murdoch newspaper as well!

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  15:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  What is God up to?
It is certain that She is up to something. It seems that bacteria are "evolving" faster than Big Pharma has the means, or perhaps the desire, to keep up.

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  14:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  Will we make it?
Captain Codpiece is, finally, in his last year. This assumes of course that he doesn't suspend what little is left of the Constitution and just refuse to leave office.

There is also the rather serious question as to whether his replacement will be a material improvement. Looking at the current field of "front runners" I would say that is not a dead cert.

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  13:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  I am dangerous
So says Peter Mullen in a comment piece in Friday's Times. He bemoans what he clearly considers to be the undue influence of secularists (e.g. me) on Britain and he says that we are more dangerous than terrorists. We do need to take this advice with a grain or two of salt given his position as the Chaplain to the money lenders in the temple stock exchange. (Why in God's name do they have a chaplain? Does he help them pray for insider knowledge?)

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  13:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  We cannot remain silent - this must end!
Normally I would, for obvious reasons, refrain from using the word "chutzpah" in a post about Israel. Nonetheless I can think of no better term to describe the actions of the Israeli government in committing crimes against humanity in the harsh light of day. And, so far, the rest of the world seems to be allowing them to get away with it. Admittedly the United Nations has criticised it in the mildest of terms and there have been some grumblings from the EU but the United States remains so silent that one wonders who the client state really is.

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  13:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - special Irish edition
On this date in 1919 the
Dáil Éireann
met for the first time in Dublin. The meeting ultimately led to the War of Independence that ultimately ended in the less than satisfactory partition of the Island between the 26 counties in the Republic and the 6 counties that remained in the UK.

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  13:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  Problems in Paxman's pants?
Who says investigative journalism is dead? The Beeb's news presenter Jeremy Paxman, after years of painstaking research has decided that there has been an unacceptable decline in the quality of Marks & Spencers men's smalls and he is going to do something about.

Jeremy, we who are about to don our pants salute you!

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  12:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  Personally I blame 24 hour drinking
Now that the pubs don't generally shut at 11 PM anymore the nation doesn't have the need to rush down the curry house after chucking out time to get in another hour's drinking time. Either that or we have just become effete softies.

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  12:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  From the City of Brotherly Love
So far I have been disappointed in the selection of headlines available relating to the reign of Philadelphia's new mayor Michael Nutter. However this letter, headed "A Rousing Defence of the 'Nutter Agenda'", gives me cause for hope.

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  12:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  Living the colonial dream
Whilst continuing to talk "peace" the Israeli government has allowed the number of illegal immigrants/colonists in the West Bank to grow by 5% in the past year. Clearly what the Palestinians need is to establish a chapter of the Minutemen and build a border fence to keep out these illegal aliens who are there to steal Palestinian jobs and land. (But they don't seem to want to clean the pools, mow the lawns or cook the meals for sub-sustenance wages.)

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  12:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Tom's bad week
Pity poor Tom Cruise; he's not been having the best of times lately has he? First there was the "we can do everything - cure anyone" video that the Church of Scientology doesn't want to see. Now the ever so talented young man is being compared to Reich Minister Dr. Joseph Goebbels. What must the lovely Katie think of all this?

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  12:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Two for the price of one
If you live in Little Rock today is not only Martin Luther King Jr Day it is also Robert E. Lee Day. Is the irony intentional or doesn't anyone in Arkansas notice? Perhaps someone should ask Mr. Huckabee about this.

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  12:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  Paging Captain Renault

The Israeli Ambassador to Canada is shocked, shocked I say to find Israel included as a state that uses torture in a Canadian diplomatic manual. Fortunately Canada has righted this grievous wrong after some (none too) gentle suggestions from their neighbour to the south.

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  11:50:00 0 comments links to this post
  What do you remember?
Yesterday's Observer featured a section that shared people's memories of 1968. Mine, at the advanced age of twelve, is of my radicalisation by the images from the Democratic convention in Chicago. Yes - I was a bit precocious.

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  11:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  When they came for the haggis I did nothing because I was not a haggis
Is this true? Is it really not possible to get proper haggis in the states? What do you eat on Burns night? Of course this post would not be complete without the bard's paen.
Address to a Haggis


Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect sconner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit:
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!
I suppose the tatties and neaps will be next!

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  11:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Remembering Martin
Not that long ago there was so much hope in America. Where has it gone?

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  10:22:00 0 comments links to this post
20 January 2008
  For your listening pleasure
Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band!

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  16:55:00 0 comments links to this post
  About bloody time!
Finally someone in a official capacity has referred to Israel's treatment of the Gaza strip, with its blockade and fuel restrictions, as what it truly is: illegal collective punishment. (I know he didn't use the word "illegal" but this is a UN guy. For one of them these are harsh words indeed.)

Perhaps the US might wish to introduce to a resolution into the Security Council ordering them to cease and desist!

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  16:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - Reagan dirty tricks edition
On this day in 1981 the Islamic Republic of Iran released 51 American hostages from custody after over a year. The release took place minutes after Ronald Reagan was sworn in as president. As we all know this was simply a fortuitous coincidence.

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  16:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  The ballad of Jesus and the weiner poopie
Just watch this. Mere words cannot do it justice. (Key quote: "we won't press charges if Jesus is unharmed"!)

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  16:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  In the true spirit of inclusiveness that is the Roman Catholic Church...
...the Society of Jesus (Jesuits) has named a white man as the new Black Pope. Anyone surprised?

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  16:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  Alright who has nicked Sweden's winter?
I am not saying that this is firm evidence of global climate change but vinterskivling mushrooms are already to be found in Sweden. In case no one has noted this is still the middle of January.

(And it's 15C in London today!)

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  16:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Canadian airbrushing
The Tory government in Ottawa has promised to rewrite a foreign service manual to remove the United States, and American client state Israel, from the list of states that engage in torture. There were some seriously twisted knickers in Washington off the revelation and one can only assume that Ottawa received some none too subtle suggestions as to what to do about. After all, friends don't let friends accuse friends of torture!

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  15:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - "don't even try and tell me this never happened" edition
On this date in 1942, SS second in command Reinhard Heydrich, hosted the Wannsee Conference to coordinate the planning of the Endlösung or "Final Solution" for the annihilation of the Jewish population in Germany and the occupied countries.

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  15:26:00 0 comments links to this post
  Enough to make right wing heads explode
One wonders which side your average American right winger will support in this case from Chesapeake VA in which an armed homeowner shot and killed an armed policeman who was breaking into his house, allegedly to exercise a search warrant. I wait with bated breath.

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  15:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  We give up
The US Environmental Protection Agency has decided not to develop a recovery plan for the jaguar. It would seem that they don't seem to think that there are enough of them to be worth saving or thoughts to that effect.

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  15:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  Republican disarray?
This complaint is not the only one I have seen from a disenchanted wing nut bemoaning the lack of choice, or perhaps more specifically "choicelessness", in the Republican field. I think they all should just stay home in that case and leave the decision to those who wish to participate.

And I still don't understand the fascination with B list actor and underachiever Fred Thompson. I thought Republicans loved the work ethic.

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  15:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  Nah, this system ain't broken!
Disgrace is the only word I can think of to describe the situation of Arielle Moye of Colombia SC. She had a heart transplant at the age of seven but now that she has turned nineteen she no longer qualifies for Medicaid and therefore has no means to afford the 3200 USD per month she needs just to pay for the anti-rejection drugs.

Should she die because of this one would think that the omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent invisible hand of the market will have some serious explaining to do.

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  15:00:00 0 comments links to this post
19 January 2008
  And now for something completely different
They'll all do love change!



I prefer notes myself.

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  15:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - "I'll take a large chips with that" edition
Fifty years ago today the opening salvos in the first Cod War between the UK and Iceland were fired (so to speak).

I think I know what I'll have for me tea tonight now.

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  15:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  Not bad for a heathen, eh?
You know the Bible 85%!
 

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes



I wonder what Bush would get?

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  15:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  Progress report
Because it has proved such a winner in Afghanistan the omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent and yet invisible hand of the free market has decided that Iraq is a good place to grow opium. I love the smell of opium in the morning, don't you?

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  14:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  Oh the hubris
How can anyone take seriously a proclamation from the Torturer-in-Chief, Captain Codpiece, that begins "we recognize that each life has inherent dignity and matchless value, and we reaffirm our steadfast determination to defend the weakest and most vulnerable members of our society"?

I'm just asking.

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  14:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Valentine's Day isn't that far off...
...if you're still trying to think of a present you could do worse than some eco-lingerie!

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  14:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  This is so 1950
The US Supreme Court has refused to hear a case brought by (my main man) Dennis Kucinich and the Democratic Party in Texas will be able to keep him off of the ballot because he refuses to sign a loyalty oath. Where is Major ______ de Coverley when we need him?

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  14:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  Isn't he too dark skinned for the part?
Johnny Depp wants to play Michael Jackson perhaps because he has long been searching for a part weirder than Edward Scissorhands.

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  13:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - corrupt Republican edition
One year ago today former Republican Congress Bob Ney of Ohio was sentenced to 2 and a half years in prison for his part in the Jack Abramoff scandal. Let us hope that there are many more to come!

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  12:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  His anti-Midas touch
Yesterday Captain Codpiece unveiled his curiously undefined economic stimulus package to defeat the impending recession. Shortly thereafter the Dow came tumbling down.

Cause - effect. Simple.

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  12:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why does Tom Ridge hate America?
The original Secretary of Homeland Security has stated, most unequivocally, that water boarding is torture. Over to you George. Parse away.

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  12:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Let me introduce to you, the one and only Ricky Flair"
I hope someone is keeping count of these. We have yet another reason to consider the prospect of a Mike Huckabee presidency truly frightening.

"I'd like to introduce you to my future Secretary of Defense and Secretary of Homeland Security, Chuck Norris and Ric Flair!"

His potential cabinet might be more entertaining than Captain Codpiece's but it will be no less frightening!

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  12:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  Is this ironic?
The Mt. Blanco Fossil Museum in the great state of Texas is a proponent of creationism and rejects evolution. In order to raise funds that will ensure the survival of this valuable non-scientific institution they are selling off a mastodon skull from their collection. I just don't understand why they are expecting to get so much for something that they clearly think is only a couple of hundred years old.

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  12:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  They were ready for this one
I am occasionally surprised by a death that I learn about via the obituary pages of the Guardian where the notice appears sometimes four to six weeks after the event. I don't know what criteria the editorial staff use but they were ready for Bobby Fischer.

They weren't ready for Dan Fogelberg.

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  12:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  I think it's because he didn't use chunky!
Little did I know that a simple jar of peanut butter was proof of the existence of God. I don't know about you but She never ceases to amaze me!

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  11:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  Your creeping theocracy
A federal court judge has ruled that the University of Wisconsin-Madison must fund a Roman Catholic campus group even though the group's activities include proselytising and worship.

The judge? Surprising he is not an appointee of Captain Codpiece but was appointed by that great legal scholar Ronald Reagan.

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  11:41:00 0 comments links to this post
  I love a woman in a (latex) uniform
Yet another middle aged male fantasy bites the dust as latex is banned at Johns Hopkins University Hospital. This wouldn't have happened with socialised medicine!

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  11:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Because white flour, saturated fats, refined sugar and E numbers are the key to a good education
A handful of spoilsports in Seminole County FL have forced the local schools to remove a McDonald's reward programme for "good" grades from the school's report cards. There's always one in the class, isn't there?

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  11:26:00 0 comments links to this post
18 January 2008
  It was bad enough just fighting them in the here and now...
...but I reckon if we have to fight them in the hereafter as well the Eternal Global War on Terra is well and truly lost. Actual headline: "Dead Terrorist was in Touch with Hizbullah".

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  16:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  "It depends on what the meaning of 'five years' is"
The Raw Story has managed to smuggle itself (or at least a representative of itself) into the White House press room, possibly disguised as a gay prostitute, but once it got there it doesn't seem that the White House liked its sole question very much. Not very hospitable of them, is it?

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  16:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Islamo-Republicans are coming!
Former US Representative Mark Siljander (R - MI) has been indicted for funding terrorist groups. During his time his Congress he was known as a born again Christian and his mates still think he is a holy person; he probably only did it for the money. Which makes it a perfectly OK and very Republican Party kind of thing to do.

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  16:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Little Ricky" is risen!
Taking a page from the book of my former junior Senator, Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum Republican presidential hopeful Mike "Holier Than Thou" Huckabee finds a link between bestiality and homosexuality. I hope it works as well for him as it did for "Little Ricky".

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  16:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Please don't ask the candidate any question he doesn't wish to answer!"
Factually challenged Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has a wee spot of bother with a reporter.

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  16:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  AT least I won't be lonely
It seems that lots of (self righteous) folks might be joining me in Hell.

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  16:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  Haven't they suffered enough?
The African Great Lakes country of Rwanda is still trying to rebuild itself following the genocidal civil war of the the 90's that saw roundabout a million deaths. Now they have St. Tony to contend with.

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  15:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Come to Zimbabwe where eveyone's a millionaire (and most people are terribly poor)!
The Bank of Zimbabwe is set to launch it's new 10 million Zimbabwean Dollar banknote. With one of these new notes and some change a Big Mac could be headed your way!

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  15:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  There I was just a walkin' down the street...
...singin' "doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo".

The next thing I know I've been impressed into jury duty.

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  15:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  Where's the condemnation?
As the state of Israel further tightens the noose around Gaza, an act of illegal collective punishment at best or possibly genocide in part, the silence from the world is deafening. How long will we continue to sit by and spectate at these anti-Semetic crimes against humanity!

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  15:17:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - special nation's capital edition
On this date in 1990 Washington DC mayor Marion Barry was arrested for possession of crack cocaine.

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  15:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  And grown men wept over their primi platti
Why are they trying to ruin my (culinary) life? A cull of Italian buffalo is going to lead to a worldwide shortage of mozzarella di bufala! Is this end of insalata tricolore as we know it?

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  14:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I repeat, we do not negotiate with the progeny of terrorists!"
Omar Osama bin Laden (I reckon you can work out the identity of his father without further clues) wants to do something to bring peace to the world. Who is next, I wonder, the Bush twins?

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  14:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  And only 681,102 minutes more than Nixon (or why Republicans can't do IT)!
Damn those incompetent IT folks. The White House seems to have "lost" 473 days of email archives during their critical lawbreaking period in 2003 - 2005. What a shame. I am sure that they are very sorry for their little mistake. Much of the missing data relates to communications from and to the offices of Captain Codpiece and "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney.

And don't even think about trying to blame the technical staff, OK?

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  14:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Take Lyrica! If you ignore the side effects it sometimes works for a condition that might possibly exist!
Mark Morford contemplates the strange and curious world of pharmaceuticals.

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  14:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Look at the size of his willy!"
Posh Spice waxes lyrical over the sight of her hubby in pants:

"I'm proud to see his penis 25ft tall...It's huge. It's enormous. Massive. If I looked like that I'd walk down the streets in my panties too."

I can only say how thankful I am that she doesn't look like that!

(Note to Americans: the headline as published in the Guardian is "Victoria Beckham and the 25ft penis". Don't you wish your newspapers would actually print that!)

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  12:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  Whatever you do don't call it a "ghetto"
Palestinian refugees in Lebanon have been reduced to living in conditions that are extremely similar to the slums of the nineteenth century.

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  12:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  Fat, white, racist, drug addled, impotent, hate-mongering fuck claims he isn't racist!
Rush Limbaugh claims that his repeated and heavily emphasised use of the words "spade" and "hoe" in a "satirical" hit piece on Barack Obama was in no way racists. I for one think that he is a fat, white, racist, drug addled, impotent, hate-mongering fuck and refuse to believe him.

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  12:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Because I ain't reading no book that ain't mostly pitchers"
Announcing the anti-jihad comic book. Too bad they missed Xmas! So rush out and buy it if you wish to avoid all intellectual stimulation.

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  12:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Boehner's hard on
It seems that the minority leader of the US House of Representatives John "It's Pronounced Bay-ner" Boehner (R - OH) has a few ideas as to what he will do the moment he's in charge. He'll get rid of the healthy food and put an end to the indulgences carbon offsets.

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  12:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  R.I.P.
He was one of the world's great chess players but not the planet's most stable human being. Bobby Fischer has died in Iceland at the age of 63.

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  11:50:00 1 comments links to this post
17 January 2008
  But the taps ARE open
Has Captain Codpiece let the cat out of the bag re OPEC's lack of additional capacity?

Remember you heard it hear first.

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  17:51:00 0 comments links to this post
  His really, really, really dark materials
  17:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  Another white guy in a suit for President!
I think we can all agree, conservatives and progressives alike, that the Class of 2008 (Dennis Kucinich excepted) is not the most outstanding field of presidential contenders that the US has ever seen. However I do not think that this should be used as an excuse to make things even worse.

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  17:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Take this job and shove (Minnesota Republican style)
US Representative Michele Bachmann (R - MN) thinks that it's great that her state is full of people who have to take two jobs to make ends meet.

"I am so proud to be from the state of Minnesota. We’re the workingest (sic) state in the country, and the reason why we are, we have more people that are working longer hours, we have people that are working two jobs."

The citizens of Minnesota could not be reached for comment!

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  17:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  It's those darn ho-mo-sexuals again!
Peter LaBarbera, who is the head of that great, patriotic organisation "Americans for (What the Voices in May Head Call) Truth has invented a new quasi-medical term: "Second-Hand Sodomy" whatever that is. I suspect no virgins are involved.

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  17:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  Because Bill-o O'Reilly is a man of honour...
...I believe that we should take him at his word. The bilious one doesn't think that there are any homeless US veterans out there but if there are any he has promised to ensure that they are no longer homeless. So, my friends in America, your task is, whether you chose to accept it or not, to find any and all homeless veterans that ARE out there and ensure that Mr. O'Reilly knows about them. After all he has promised, more or less, to give them all a home! And I sure that he will, as usual, be good to his word.

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  17:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  BBREAKING NEWS!
"Mubarak Lauds American Leader, Avoiding Record on Dissent"

Wait a second. I may have got this backwards! Ever so sorry.

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  17:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  From the Department of "Did Anyone Notice"
An actual headline from the International Herald Tribune: "Heathrow airport temporarily paralyzed after crash landing".

Well so long as it is only temporary!

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  17:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  Everything's bigger in Texas
Including the price the rest of the world pays for the state's profligate lifestyle.

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  16:55:00 0 comments links to this post
  Neither a grammarian nor a speller be!
The following is taken verbatim, including spelling, from a comment by someone who calls him or herself Blind_Mule over on Ms. Malkin's website. He or she is, I believe, attempting to discuss the intellectual inferiority of those who might be left of centre. Enjoy!

It’s obvious their is a stark difference if you talk to anyone on the left on just about any subject, their view’s of the world in general are scewed in some way. The left are not thinker’s they let their so called leader’s and MSM tell them what to think. Conservitive’s are thinker’s and don’t just take anyone’s word for anything, in my experience you will find differing view’s on just about any subject, Conservitive’s seem to want to find the truth about a subject that is supported by fact’s and don’t buy into the left’s or MSM “trust me I know what I’m talking about” montra. When I talk to liberal’s all I’ve ever heard is a regergitation of what the MSM or Liberal leader’s say, tow the party line should be their slogan. The Missouri slogan hold’s true for me and many other’s across this great state “THE SHOW ME STATE” in Politic’s you had better Show Me with action’s not word’s.

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  16:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  Getting uppity up north
It’s probably about time that the US finally invaded Canada and put an end to all of their socialist, Francophone nonsense once and for all. It was bad enough before but haven’t these crazed Canucks just gone and added the United States of America, the only beacon of liberty in an otherwise dark and autocratic world, to their torture watch list.

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  16:41:00 0 comments links to this post
  I wonder if it can be cured
According to researchers at the University of Utah (I wonder if the elders at LDS know they are working on this) bisexuality, at least in women, is a clear third sexual orientation and not a transitional stage. It makes one wonder why God went to the trouble to create THREE different sexual orientations only for Her to hate two of them. It kind of makes one wonder about the omnipotence thing!

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  16:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Michelle ♥’s Fred
I really cannot see what elements of the right wing "punditracy" find so fascinating about that over-grown under achiever Fred Thompson. Many of them seem to believe that, despite the fact that he is a politician, what he says is what he will do. It is to this that Ms. Maglalang succumbs.

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  16:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  In which I agree with Jonah Goldberg (if merely on a technicality)
I don't think his is a fascist* but I do think he is a fucking arsehole. (Yes. I realise that is an ad hominem attack.)

*And neither am I, I should add.

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  12:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  I think this deserves a big "well if you're so fucking good at it - you do it"!
US Defense Secretary Robert Gates has ruffled more than a few feathers amongst America's NATO allies but stating that the non-US forces in Afghanistan aren't up to the task of anti-insurgency. Curiously this is a criticism often levelled at American forces, especially by the British. I am certain that he will claim he was misquoted-out-of-context by evil America hating journos!

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  12:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Veto pen to stand by
Captain Codpiece is once again ready to veto an approaching mine safety bill apparently because the imposition of safety requirements for mines, timelines to achieve safety targets and fines for noncompliance would "place in jeopardy meaningful achievements and efforts currently under way" and "impose burdensome and unrealistic time requirements".

It's good to have friends in high places, innit?

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  12:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  Pity the poor (not very) persecuted Christians
Not very long ago Nadia Eweida lost her employment tribunal against British Airways. Ms. Eweida had contended that she was the victim of religious discrimination because BA prevented her from wearing a publicly visible crucifix and required her to work on Sundays and, shock-horror, perhaps even on the odd Xmas day. Now that the tribunal has released their findings perhaps all of those right wingers who jumped on her bandwagon might wish to reconsider (although I realise that they won't).

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  12:05:00 0 comments links to this post
16 January 2008
  Scientology for idiots*
For those of you who couldn't understand what the talented Mr. Cruise was saying, and based on what I say this may include the talented Tom himself, here's a little primer.

* Or should that be "Scientology is for idiots"?

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  17:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - "I could really do with a cold beer" edition
On this day in 1916 the Eighteenth Amendment to the US Constitution came into effect banning the sale and consumption of alcohol. It was the beginning of thirteen years of darkness.

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  16:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  This put a smile on my face!
Al Franken's senatorial campaign has been endorsed by his 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Molin.

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  15:51:00 0 comments links to this post
  Inconvienent intelligence
Since it is obvious that Captain Codpiece and his evil minions have no intention of listening to any intelligence that disagrees with their preconceived notions couldn't the US save a really incredible amount of money and simple not bother to have any intelligence agencies? In place of the output from these hugely expensive and clearly worthless agencies Bush's lackies could just make it up. It's not as if they haven't being do that all along anyway.

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  15:43:00 0 comments links to this post
  He is dangerous (a slight reprise)
As noted yesterday Mike "Holier Than Thou" Huckabee wants a faith based Constitution. Crooks and Liars has the video.

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  15:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  Surely it is time for the fat, white, racist, drug addled, impotent, hate-mongering fuck to go!
Rush Limbaugh clearly thinks he is extremely droll with this undisguised racist abuse that he directs at Barack Obama. If "nappy headed ho-s" did it for Imus than this "spade" and "ho" riddled lame attempt at satire ought to do it for His Immenseness.

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  15:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  Keeping the world safe for democracy
Laws are for wimps and we all know that the members of the US Navy, despite some of the uniforms, are no wimps. Fortunately Captain Codpiece has arranged for them to be exempt from environmental laws that would have otherwise prevented them from killing whales and dolphins. Had he not done this exceedingly dangerous Islamo-fascist cetacean terrorists would be able to infiltrate the American coastline and destroy the God blessed American way of life.

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  15:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  La plus ça change, la plus c’est la même chose
I am afraid that I neglected to note that Andy Murray has proved himself qualified to bear up to the awesome responsibility of being the British number one male tennis player, a title so proudly carried for so long by Tim Henman, by losing in the first round at the Aussie Open!

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  14:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Strange stall fellows
I've always assumed that Senator Larry Craig ("Not Now and Never Has Been Gay" - ID) is a loyal and true member of the Republican Party and opposed to all of those dangerous Hard Left types at the New York Times, the National Education Association and most obviously the American Civil Liberties Union. I can only assume that he will decisively and swiftly reject any and all assistance from them in his brave effort to ensure that the width of one's stance remains protected under the First Amendment!

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  14:37:00 0 comments links to this post
  Hasn't he heard of Free Speech Zones?
Il Papa has had to call off a visit to the Sapienza Università di Roma because the students were less than pleased at His Infallibleness's remarks that suggested that he believed that Galileo Galilei had been treated properly by the church. The students at the university had planned to make him feel unwelcome.

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  14:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Tom Cruise for President!
Because the man can do anything! Just ask him! Of course he gets rather a bit of help from L. Ron.

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  14:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  101 reasons to be glad England didn't make Euro 2008 - number 8
Switzerland is facing an impending Sausage Crisis.

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  13:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  What am I bid for...
...an alleged image of Jesus "found" in a block of granite. Personally I can only see a pelvic girdle but then I am seriously deluded about most things.

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  12:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Well they were Mancs scum, weren't they?"
The English FA has decided not to have a minute of silence before England's upcoming friendly with Switzerland to honour "Busby's Babes" who were killed in the Munich air disaster because the partisan supporters of teams other than Man U can't be trusted to honour it. The match will fall on the 50th anniversary of the air crash.

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  12:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Mission accomplished!
The neo-con (wet) dream of using Iraq as an immense laboratory in which to construct a neo-liberal, "free" market economy has come a step closer as we find that the experiment has been successful in the realm of health care. Up to 75% of the country's trained medical personnel, (doctors, nurses and technicians), have exercised their freedoms to market their skills elsewhere leaving Iraq with a health care system that is approaching that of the United States, envy of the world!

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  12:07:00 0 comments links to this post
  Junkies pleads for just one more cheap fix
Captain Codpiece has used the occasion of his visit to that beacon of freedom in the Middle East, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, to respectfully request that OPEC pump more oil. Apparently Our Great Leader is concerned that the cost of filling up the family Hummer is getting to be too much for economically oppressed Americans and this will impact on his legacy. OPEC has so far refused, citing that they don't see any problems with current prices but there are real questions to be asked as to whether OPEC has the capacity to achieve any material increase in output. For some reason these questions don't seem to get asked outside of the energy community.

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  11:58:00 0 comments links to this post
  Funny, they never objected to CANDY packaged like cigarettes
British publisher Tank faces the threat of a law suit from the heavyweights at British American Tobacco over their series of classic books designed to look like cigarette packets. BAT is claiming that the resemblance to the Lucky Strike pack somehow diminishes the value of their brand. I guess smokers that might be capable of thought are considered dangerous.

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  11:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Please hold the projectile vomiting!
I certainly hope that this Guardian article that suggests that rumours about a norovirus epidemic in Britain this winter are a myth is true. I know one or two folks that have had this year's version and I certainly don't want to catch it. I will spare you the gory details but it is one of those viruses that, despite knowing it will only last a few days, during which one will consider death to be viable option.

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  11:41:00 0 comments links to this post
15 January 2008
  Headline of the day
"Las Vegas Strippers May Influence Global Nuclear-Waste Policy"

Well they can't do any worse than the buffoons running the US Department of Energy!

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  19:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  You are what you eat
The US Food and Drug Administration says that meat and dairy products from cloned animals are perfectly safe for you to eat.

In other news the employee canteen at FDA headquarters has adopted a new, all vegan menu!

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  19:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  I've got some catching up to do
According to that extremely impeachable journalistic source The Sun, (proprietor Rupert Murdoch), the average British bloke puts away 44,000 pints before his almost certainly premature death.

The paper's journalists are obviously very poor with their maths or they have a secret watering hole that I have yet to discover. They claim the cost of this to be about £24,000 or slightly more than 50p a pint! I think somewhere in the neighbourhood of £100,000 would be nearer the mark.

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  19:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  The "limbo duck" Presidency
How low can Captain Codpiece go? (And more importantly what can be done about the 32% who still think he's doing an acceptable job? Can we turn off the life support?)

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  19:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  Who says Republicans can't multi-task?
Colorado legislator Douglas Bruce can pray to (the one and only Christian) God and kick a photographer at the same time. On the morning of his swearing in nonetheless. Quite a guy.

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  19:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  "You started it. You mentioned the Dampfnudel!"

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  18:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  Jew free condos being built in Manhattan!
That's terrible, racist, anti-Semitic, unacceptable! The people behind this must be jailed, ostracised, imprisoned!

What's that you say? It's not Jew free condos in New York it's Jews only condos in Jerusalem. That's perfectly fine then.

Never mind.

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  18:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy - "what a waste of potential rum" edition
On this date in 1919 the Great Boston Molasses Disaster occured. Boston has never been the same.

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  18:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  This just in
According to Kemal Unakitan, the Turkish Foreign Minister the illegal US invasion of Iraq was about WMDs the flouting of Security Council Resolutions the freedom agenda oil

."The guy from miles away is invading Iraq claiming to put an end to the unfair system...But everyone knows they are after the oil. All the rest is just made up stories."

The White House has yet to comment on the comments but I expect commenting comments soon.

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  18:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  If only these things were banned somehow
The use of assault weapons in murders in South Florida, the Atlanta area and parts of Texas. In 2004 these murderous firearms, good only for killing humans, were used in only 4% of Miami murders; that has now risen to 24%. I wonder if anything might have happened in 2004 that could have affected this in anyway. (Note: most of these guns are purchased legally before being used in crime.)

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  18:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  Schadenfreude alert
In his new and important job as a New York Times commentator "Bloody" Bill Kristo 0 for 2. It's really hard to watch, innit?

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  18:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  How dare he!
Composer and pianist Daniel Barenboim is believed to become the first person to hold both Israeli and Palestinian passports; clearly a traitor to his race religion ethnicity!

Mr. Barenboim is also awarded bonus points for obliquely referring to Captain Codpiece as a "not-very-intelligent" person!

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  18:14:00 0 comments links to this post
  I love the smell of a Catalan* Socialist in the morning
I do! I really, really do!

What would the Republican Party's cologne smell like if they had one? Money? Crude oil? An airport men's room? Ronald Regan's unwashed pants?

*Note: for American (and others) never, ever refer to a Catalan as a Spaniard, OK? I've seen it happen and it usually isn't pretty.

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  18:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  He is dangerous
If you don't think the prospect of a Mike Huckabee presidency is anything to be worried about you might wish to think again. The man is dangerous indeed.

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  18:07:00 0 comments links to this post
14 January 2008
  The end of the world as we know it
According to a poll reported by extremely impeachable news source NewsMax Faux News is now the most trusted news source in America. Nearly 24% of those polled listed its Fauxness as the source that they trusted "most for accurate reporting".

And grown men wept.

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  13:36:00 0 comments