According to this story in The Hill this year's federal budget will only be 200 US dollars which should leave hundreds of billions of dollars in surplus.

What's that you say? The budget isn't $200. The White House is charging $200 to see the budget? Oh my. That's rather different indeed. Nevermind.

Presenting the Taser shotgun; coming soon to a woefully under-trained police force near you.

If you are Royal Dutch Shell I would say that it is working very well indeed as the company announces annual profits 27,600,000,000 US dollars. Now that may seem like an awful lot of money to you and me but it only comes to 875 USD per second!

The great state of West Virginia is considering starting gun classes in the public schools because not enough of their citizens are marching off into the woods to kill Bambi's mum. Now I recognise that if one is going to use weapons that adequate training in safety and care is absolutely essential but I'm not sure that public schools are the appropriate venue. This is especially true for a state that seems to have significant room for improvement as regards their public education system; perhaps if they added gun play as a core curriculum in the No Child Left Behind Act.

In what must be considered a worrying development for air travellers the co-pilot of an Air Canada flight had to physically removed from the cockpit and restrained after he started to "ask for God" whilst the plane was at 30,000 feet on the way to Heathrow. Clearly it was entirely sensible for these measures to be taken in order to preserve and protect lives but for some reason we seem to lack this good sense when someone with control over nearly all the lives on the planet behaves in exactly the same manner. One wonders why.

I think we had all better keep a close eye on Sen. McCain's physique. If he starts to suddenly bulk up we had best send him off for a drugs' test. After all he seems to be cornering the performance enhanced endorsement market. First he garnered the recommendation of Philly's own Sylvester Stallone who has recently spoken highly of the use of human growth hormone. Now he has admitted steroid abuser California governor Arnie Schwarzenegger on his side. McCain may or may not win the Republican nomination and/or the presidency but he is sure to hit 40 or more homeruns this season!

There is a chicken in Cuautitlán, Mexico that has taken to laying what are alleged to be green eggs. Now I know that I have partial deuteranopia but the eggs in the picture look bloody gray to me!

How many billions of taxpayer dollars and how many American and Afghan lives have been spent to turn Afghanistan into what it has been all along - a failed state? Of course this failed state is run by fiercely free market, drug manufacturing war lords rather than nasty fundamentalist Muslims so I reckon that's a significant improvement, innit?

There is nothing more ridiculous than the sight of an enormous 4x4 (aka "Chelsea tractor") attempting to navigate its way through the streets of inner, or even outer, London. So "Red" Ken Livingstone has my whole-hearted support in his plans for £25 (50 USD) a day congestion charge on these extravagant behemoths.

Note to Americans: you will see that he is running on his record of "a popular left-wing, reforming administration that has pursued groundbreaking policies in major areas such as equalities, the congestion charge, aiding the less well-off with cheap transport [and] climate change". What are the chances of that happening in America anymore?

Whilst the British version of the popular TV series is clearly superior it is not so certain which of the two host cities is worse: Slough or Scranton. I'm probably one of a small and illustrious group who has been to both and I'd give it to Scranton by a nose; if only because one can so easily escape to London from Slough - where one goes from Scranton is less clear!

I have been a Kucinich supported since the early days and, after he dropped out of the race to fight off the challenge to his House seat, I have to reassess my position. I was leaning heavily to John Edwards but now he is gone too! I find both remaining candidates less than satisfactory. Hillary because she is too right wing and too beholden to corporate/insider interests. Obama because he is still too much of a cipher and even where his positions seem to be clear, like on healthcare, I find that we disagree.

I have only until next Tuesday to make up my mind as I will be voting in the Democrats Abroad primary.

Meanwhile here's Edwards's statement.

As you may have noticed I am not exactly "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney's biggest fan but I didn't consider him possibly psychotic until now. He keeps a piece of the house in which al Qaeda lead Abu Musab al Zarqawi was blown up on display in his house. I wonder if he keeps on the mantelpiece next to the photos of the grand kids. Truly touching, innit?

The incredibly flawed brilliant "bet it all on Florida - they love me down there" strategy of Rudy "Did I Mention 9/11? Did I? Hunh? Did I?" Giuliani has gone done in flames and he now looks set to back John McCain. I leave it to Mr. Giuliani's predecessor as the mayor of New York, Ed Koch, to put this in perspective. "The beast is dead" said the former mayor!

It has taken over seven years but I can clearly say that there is one issue with which I agree with Our Great Leader, Captain Codpiece. This Great Man thinks that restrictions on US food aid to the poor and the starving should be lifted so that food can be bought locally and considerable expense saved. As it is US food "aid" represent more in the way of back door subsidies for US farmers than they do in actual aid to those in need.

I am not sure why Captain Codpiece thinks this way but in this (extremely) isolated case he is right and the Democratic Congress that will oppose him is wrong.

Now I have to slip off and take some extra medication. I don't fell well at all.

Hillary declares victory and marches on. Do you think her campaign understands the primary was just a "friendly" and that she didn't actually win anything (and that she had to cheat to manage that)?

It has been argued by many, generally unsuccessfully, that suicide bombing is the act of a coward. I think that one can make a more compelling argument that to torture someone is a cowardly act. After all, it is the imposition of physical and/or psychological suffering on a human being unable to resist or fight back. (It is certainly the act of a sadist.)

What I find truly reprehensible though is for the highest legal officer of the country that flatteringly likes to paint itself as the beacon of freedom and justice for the planet Earth to refuse to address the issue of torture full stop. What US Attorney General Michael Mukasey seems to have said is that water-boarding either is or is not torture, that it is a very hard question that is beyond his limited capacity and that he won't rule it and he won't rule it out.

By taken this craven and unprincipled stance Mr. Mukasey is actually doing is leaving the decision and responsibility up to American officers in the field, thereby exposing them to possible criminal liability. (Whilst the US has refused to sign up to the International Criminal Court unless it promises never to prosecute any American official there would still be exposure to criminal and/or civil liability in the country where the crime allegedly took place or in the country of citizenship of those so abused.) Mr. Mukasey would also seem to be developing a case for the defence of "plausible deniability" for himself, Captain Codpiece and "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney, amongst others, should any truly free country and democratic ever get their mitts on them.

Don't worry. I've notified le Général of this important, if perhaps ill-fated, attempt to save the heathen French.

According to US Representative Al Wynn (D - MD) there is a "vast...left-wing conspiracy" that is hard at work ensuring he does not get re-elected. Why was I not notified? Who is in charge of this? I would like to register a complaint!

Some experts, though, seem to think he won't get far with his complaint to the Federal Election Commission.

The American FBI is busy investigating a number of major financial players for fraud in the sub-prime lending crisis that is slowing enveloping the globe. Don't they understand that big business taking advantage of poor people is not fraud it is capitalism?

I keep hearing accusations that the United States Congress is set to allow FISA to expire. Does this mean no Dad Vail in Philly this spring?

I've lived in London for over 15 years now and, although my accent was never terribly strong, it has softened considerably over the years. Nonetheless I have not acquired a south London accent and it is fairly clear to most Brits, if not most Americans, that I am from North America. It is not uncommon for me to get the "are you Canadian?" question when meeting new people. I always thought it was because people were uncertain as to whether I am a Yank or a Canuck and, assuming that a Yank would less likely to be insulted by being mistaken for a Canuck than the reverse, that they were simply erring on the side of caution. I am no longer certain that that is the case.

It is a shame that global climate change is just a figment of the imaginations of those who wish to destroy America because if it were real it might go a long way towards explaining where Baffin Island's ice is going.

The bad news about global climate change continues to come; something new nearly everyday. So far I've been able to face up to the prospect of 10s of millions of refugees, killer droughts, freak weather and the threat of global hunger. But if there's going to be no coffee I am certain to lose the strength to go on; in the mornings anyway!

Well if Thailand can elect a celebrity chef as premier I don't see why we shouldn't as well.

A Canadian firm by the name of My Organic Baby has had to recall some of its baby food after discovering it had gone bad. They, along with the Canadian government department responsible, did wait a bit though. They probably just wished to ensure that the food was indeed rancid after all!

On this day in 1998 an abortion clinic in Birmingham AL was bombed killing a police officer. The bomb was planted by right-to-life-terrorist Eric Rudolph who was captured five years later after other bombings and is currently serving his (right-to-)life sentence.

..given that the US Internal Revenue Service has an annual budget in excess of 9 billion USD one would think that they wouldn't have to rely on Wikepedia for legal definitions that they are going to rely on in court.

Whilst America's Federal Communications Commission thinks it is an appropriate use of its time and authority to fine TV stations about 1.5 million USD for a five second shot of a woman's buttocks, which it seems to think is either a sexual or an excretory organ, in the Netherlands they are having a discussion as to whether it is appropriate to screen Deep Throat on public television and the argument centres not on whether actual sex shown be shown on telly, silly question, but rather whether the film is a specific example of the sexual exploitation of women.

And people ask why I live in exile!

I have nothing to say at the moment regarding Captain Codpiece's ultimate State of the Union Address, barring a coup d’état. I didn't watch it - I badly need my beauty sleep. I haven't read it as yet and am unsure I will have the strength to do so. Perhaps tomorrow. I doubt I missed anything of any import. I did see a snippet on the news and I cannot understand what this impotent, failure of a "leader" could have said to make anyone stand and applaud; other than "I quit" naturally.

I suspect that he hoped that no one was looking; what with all of the excitement surrounding his final (Isn't the) State of the Union (Dire?) Address. Yesterday, Captain Codpiece's minions announced that they will open up an additional 3,000,000 acres (1.2 million hectares) of Alaskan wilderness to satisfy the voracious appetites of the country's logging interests. Well at least someone ended the day happy.

Today's Guardian carries a story that raises the question of whether the US Ambassador to the United Nations, Afghan born neocon Zalmay Khalilzad, secretly scuppered Paddy Ashdown's bid to become the new UN "super" envoy to the country. And if he did, so what? After all Lord Ashdown freely admits to being a Liberal Democrat!

The only reasonable reaction to the FCC's fines for the clip below (NSFW in America only) is "you've got to be fucking kidding me!". After all this is "indecent" but the government's war on American freedom and its war on the Iraqi people is not.

Lot's of Americans have lost their homes in the past year. Many have lost their savings or their jobs. Even more are financially strapped and trapped in a circle of unredeemable debt.

But if you work on Wall Street it was still a bloody good year and the bonuses keep on coming.

He'd talk about sex than about God. I don't think that is going to impress Her much but it impresses me. I wonder if it impresses the Republican base.

Today is the fiftieth birthday of Legos.To celebrate go put something together with your kid, no matter how old he or she is.

Twenty one years ago today the space shuttle Challenger blew up less than two minutes after launch killing all aboard.

"Only three. I got A-s in 'hiding the brown lettuce' and 'trans fat identification' but only a C in 'would you like fries with that'. I kept calling them chips.

Iraq has formally signed up to the Kyoto Protocol. I can only assume that the Republic's Supreme Potentate His Imperial Highness Emperor George the Last will veto the measure!

How much longer will the world stand silently by as the state of Israel commits crimes against humanity against the 1.3 million residents of Gaza? Does Israel have such a stranglehold of guilt on the world's conscience that we allow the state to be immune from condemnation? Imagine if the situation were reversed. Arabs were occupying Jewish lands; the Jews were violently resisting and using terrorist tactics, as they did against British rule; and the Arabs react by shutting off supplies to a ghetto containing more than a million Jews. Would we still be silent and stand by and watch? I think not.

Karren Brady took over as the MD of Birmingham City at the tender age of 23. Over the past 15 years she's made rather a good job of it and the team is on solid ground. However somewhere along the way she married a footballer, Paul Peschisolido, and she has sold him twice. That's just not on in my book.

I have lived here long enough to constantly whinge about the state of the rail service; a service that I first thought was brilliant when I first moved here. I have subsequently experienced proper rail service in France, Germany, the Netherlands and even Italy. Despite the inadequacies that we have to live with every day I don't think British Rail has ever stranded a half a million passengers in one station!

*Note: British Rail hasn't existed for years but the term is still used to generically complain about the privatised chaos that is the "system" of railways left behind by Maggie.

They would also seem to count less than the unborn foetuses the pre-born. The White House is opposed to the use of Narcan by drug users to save post-born human lives. I reckon that is what God wants.

In 2006 the New Labour government of Tony Blair brought in New rules intended to break the stranglehold that white male barristers, educated in public schools and Oxbridge, have on the high court. Since that time 10 high court judges have been appointed. All are male; all are barristers; six were educated in public schools.

There is one Australian though if that counts an oppressed minority. I guess it is good to see that there is at least one Australian in the country who isn't working in a pub. (I say that but I don't know what Justice Cranston does with his weekends!)

Now why didn't I think of this? This essay describes how we can be certain that the Christian Bible is the word of God because She tells us so in the Christian Bible.

I am suddenly dizzy. I think I need to sit down!

Author Ian Halperin, who infiltrated celebrity cult, Scientology, and told of it in a book has gone into hiding after receiving anonymous death threats in phone calls. I am sure it was just a prankster unrelated to the "church" and not Tom and Katie's au pair.

After the water runs out will they be the They-Used-to-Be-Great-but-Now-They're-Barely-Lakes?

On this day in 1973 the Paris Peace Accords ending the Vietnam War were signed by North Vietnam and a Republican American government.

I am not not your friend and I wish that you would cease and desist suggesting otherwise in your public appearances.

Thank you in advance.

Sincerely,

Yank in London

Republican spokesmodel Peggy Noonan, shown here demonstrating the length of an imaginary piece of string, turns on Captain Codpiece:

"George W. Bush destroyed the Republican Party, by which I mean he sundered it, broke its constituent pieces apart and set them against each other. He did this on spending, the size of government, war, the ability to prosecute war, immigration and other issues."

On this date in 1945 the evil Soviets liberated the death camps at Auschwitz and Birkenau.

Who are we to argue with the omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent yet invisible of hand of the free market? Why should American health insurance companies be compelled to actually provide healthcare?

A reminder for Reaganites: there will be no rationing in America!

It looks as if Captain Codpiece, suddenly gone veto mad, will veto the temporary extension to the FISA act because it does not contain the provision he demands to protect the rights of the American people big telecoms companies. Not to hard to see what side he is really on if you still have doubts.

If the Observer is to be believed the recent Captain Codpiece Legacy '08 Tour through the Middle East was an abject failure. They note that, even though Our Great Leader has nearly a year remaining in his reign term, the dissection of his legacy has already begun and, so far at least, the reviews are all negative.

Meet the (ex)-hookers for Jesus; appropriately based in Las Vegas so there is no shortage of sinners available.

The oil giant and a former employer of mine, to my eternal shame, looks set to post the largest profit ever thanks to Captain Codpiece's excellent work to make the world safe for petro-chemical companies, Halliburton and Blackwater.

Apparently they think that the human buttocks is either a sexual or excretory organ and on that basis plan to fine stations that aired an episode of "NYPD Blue" about one and a half million USD. The scene that is so offensive to these poor folks featured the "naked buttocks" of a woman. I'm off to do some research (please assist me if I come up to you on the street) but I'm almost certain that the buttocks is neither sexual (see "vagina" / "penis") or excretory (see "anus") and that in fact I don't think it is even an organ.

What must Americans think when they watch telly in other countries (or is this why they don't seem to leave the country?).