Yank in London
"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"
Tom Paine - Common Sense
"A republic, sir, if you can keep it."
Benjamin Franklin
"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"
Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong
occasional musings on politics, culture and life in general from an american in exile
"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"
"A republic, sir, if you can keep it."
"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"
31 May 2008
"Oops, we didn't mean Malaysians are terrorists...
...we probably should have said brown people are terrorists". The Royal Marines are ever so sorry for any confusion caused.
Labels: british life, egwot
¶ 14:34:00 0 comments links to this post
1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President
Number 36: when you are as old as The Aged One the past, present and future all sort of merge into one. And if you think that the President of the United States ought to be capable of properly speaking American (forget English) well we've managed very well for the past seven years, haven't we?
¶ 14:19:00 0 comments
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"They started it! They invaded Poland!"
Briton David Barnish has been awarded £750 compensation over his family's disastrous holiday to Kos, which is, you should note, a Greek island. Apparently the Barnishs arrived at their hotel only to find it full of GERMANS. No matter what time they got up they would always find all of the sun loungers covered with towels and were forced to sit on the grass. How unfortunate for them. Of course this provides an excuse, as if one were needed, to share the funniest four minutes of TV comedy ever!
Labels: british life, europe
¶ 14:06:00 0 comments links to this post
Because 365 days of hate isn't enough
Let's make sure that "gay day" at Disney World can never happen again! According the David Caton of the Florida Family Association
"This is an event that is, on its face, very offensive because they're in there demonstrating their same-sex affection...It's a party on their part. Most of them hang out on Main Street; they hang out in the restaurants. They want to be seen."
And in any decent Christian country there should be no ho-mo-sexuals to be seen.
Labels: christian right wing, gays, religion
¶ 13:56:00 0 comments links to this post
Simply not good enough
Senator McCain's campaign advisers "Holy" Joe Lieberman and Lindsey "Am I Annoying or What?" Graham have resigned as policy advisers to those great patriots at Vets for Freedom. Unfortunately as they waited until after VfF launched their second attack ad on Senator Obama before resigning I think that this falls just a wee bit short of the McCain campaign policy that prohibits participation in "527 or other independent entity that makes public communications that support or oppose any presidential candidate". I can only assume that their resignations from the McCain campaign team are also forthcoming. (Hey! Come guys. Hurry up. I'm holding my breath here!)
Labels: holy joe, hypocrites, mccain
¶ 13:40:00 0 comments links to this post
Captain Codpiece - still just a Frat Twat*
Our Great Leader defends the dignity of the Presidency of the United States by chest bumping at the Air Force Academy graduation and some other stuff.
He's bound to grow up someday; I just won't live to see it.
*That rhymes in English!
He's bound to grow up someday; I just won't live to see it.
*That rhymes in English!
Labels: captain codpiece
¶ 13:32:00 0 comments links to this post
Could it be an election year?
Suddenly, and with little or now warning, we are winning the Eternal Global War on Terra. Well done everyone.
Nonetheless I reckon Americans should brace themselves for some solo Ernies and perhaps even an Elmo or two as the election draws near.
Nonetheless I reckon Americans should brace themselves for some solo Ernies and perhaps even an Elmo or two as the election draws near.
Labels: egwot, us politics
¶ 12:49:00 0 comments links to this post
1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President
Number 35: he has no honour. Now as I see General Petraeus has two, and only two, options. He must either publicly demand that The Aged One immediately remove his image from the campaign website AND explain how this could have happened without the General's permission or he must immediately resign his commission. Over to you General.
Labels: mccain, us military
¶ 12:35:00 0 comments links to this post
"As soon as the kangaroos arrive we'll be ready to start"
Authorities at the palatial Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Resort have had to dismiss judge Colonel Peter E. Brownback III from his role as the chief judge. Although no explanations were given for putting Col. Brownback on gardening leave it appears that amongst other things he was insisting that the prosecutors turn over evidence to the defence teams and that he was resisting the carefully worked out schedule that would see the first convictions verdicts come in time for the coronation of President John McCain in November!
As if we need evidence! These men are evil doers and we all know it. Why else would the US government be financing their six or seven year long holidays in Cuba?
Labels: egwot, gitmo, justice, us military
¶ 12:18:00 0 comments links to this post
1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President
Number 34: his ridiculous "League of Democracies (That I Approve Of)" is simply a non-starter. Who is going to decide who is a democracy? (John McCain?) Who is going to decide who gets in? (John McCain?) Would Pakistan qualify and Venezuela not? How about Thailand or Zimbabwe? (The Vatican's out for sure!)
Labels: mccain, world politics
¶ 12:01:00 1 comments links to this post
30 May 2008
Is your father an idiot?
Do you want to keep him that way?
Why not get him a (No) Answers in Genesis book bundle for Fathers' Day?
¶ 17:18:00 0 comments
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Why not get him a (No) Answers in Genesis book bundle for Fathers' Day?
BREAKING NEWS:
From the Daily Mail (sorry): "Stonehenge was burial ground for long-forgotten royal family"! Has anyone seen the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha's Windsors?
Labels: royal family
¶ 16:55:00 0 comments links to this post
Do not pass go, do not collect 200 Euros...
...go directly to Hell (or possibly a nunnery). That is the message that the (all male) Vatican has for any non-male (aka woman) who is consecrated as a priest. This is not especially good new for Sinead O'Connor.
Labels: religion, women's rights
¶ 16:48:00 1 comments links to this post
For starters he's never going to play for the All Blacks now, is he?
A local councillor from Paraparaumu-Raumati in New Zealand dressed up in Klu Klux Klan klobber to protest national hoodie day. I just hope he doesn't dress up as a Nazi you Yom Kippur.
¶ 16:24:00 0 comments
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Today in infamy - "dead man in Deptford" edition
On this day in 1593 playwright and poet Christopher Marlowe was stabbed to death in a pub at Deptford. This was back when Deptford was safer than it is today.
For those of you who haven't read Anthony Burgess's outstanding novel about the murder of Kit Marlowe, A Dead Man in Deptford
, I heartily reccommend it.
For those of you who haven't read Anthony Burgess's outstanding novel about the murder of Kit Marlowe, A Dead Man in Deptford
, I heartily reccommend it.Labels: british life, london, today in infamy
¶ 16:00:00 1 comments links to this post
Let the proselytising begin...
...or perhaps continue would be a better choice of words. A US Marine has been removed from duty after he was found to have been handing out coins with Biblical verses on them at a checkpoint in Falluja. Just in case anyone thinks this may have been an accident should know that the coins were inscribed in Arabic. The taxpayer funded campaign for converts marches on!
Labels: iraq, religion, us military
¶ 15:45:00 0 comments links to this post
You are the American State Department...
...you award Fulbright Scholarships to a number of students from the illegally occupied Gaza Strip to allow them to pursue advanced degrees in America. Said students are denied permission to leave the Gaza Strip by the illegal occupier as part of the illegal occupier's policy of collective punishment (in violation of international law).
- Do you inform the illegal occupier, who relies extensively on American support and finance, that this is unacceptable and force them to allow these undoubtedly deserving and intelligent young people to further their education?
or
- Do you cancel the scholarships?
If you took the first choice you've forgotten who is running the country!
Labels: amerika, education, israel, palestine
¶ 15:21:00 0 comments links to this post
Quote of the day
From an "assessment" of Scott McClellans' revelations by the White House's favourite gay escort and pseudo-reporter Jeff Gannon.
"McClellan could have resigned in protest or simply moved on with his dignity intact. Now he looks pathetic, vindictive and opportunistic. Not much of a legacy."
From an "assessment" of Scott McClellans' revelations by the White House's favourite gay escort and pseudo-reporter Jeff Gannon.
Labels: quote of the day, wingnuts
¶ 14:34:00 0 comments links to this post
Is it 2004 already?
Captain Codpiece's evil minions have finally got around to issuing a comprehensive assessment of the impact of global warming on the US and it ain't good news folks. Unsurprisingly the report was only issued, four years after it was due, after a court order forcing them to do so. Consistency is their hallmark.
¶ 14:16:00 0 comments
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Shorter Pat Buchanan
"Winston Churchill killed the Jews!" (I shit you not.) His premise, if one can call it that, is that World War II never would have happened, and the Jews would have "all survived", if only Churchill hadn't given a defense guarantee to Poland. What would have happened to Poland is not discussed.
(Transcript here.)
(Transcript here.)
Labels: wingnuts
¶ 13:48:00 0 comments links to this post
Calling all wing nuts
That illustrious periodical Scientific American brings you the science behind the ad hominem attack. I thought you should know!
¶ 13:37:00 0 comments
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How is this possible?
The head of the Bank of International Settlements has come out to say that the omniscient, omnipotent,omnipresent yet invisible hand of the market simply ignored the warning signs of the collapse in the US real estate market. Well, I ask you, what the hell is the point of being omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent, let alone invisible, if you're simply going to waste your talents?
Labels: omniscient invisible hand, us economy
¶ 13:19:00 0 comments links to this post
Is it "New" Labour or "No" Labour?
No one could accuse Gordon Brown's business secretary John Hutton of pandering to the Labour base, should such a thing still exist, in his recent talk to the Fabian Society. Perhaps it is time for a change, and a major one, at the top of the party.
Labels: british politics
¶ 13:08:00 0 comments links to this post
29 May 2008
Is our childrens principals learning?
Well they may be learning but might still come up short of learned. Charlesetta Deason was the head mistress of a charter school in Houston when she was asked if she would like to set up a similar institution in Qatar. Only one problem. She didn't know where Qatar was. A high school principal. What can I say?
Of course Ms. Deason's previous school was in Texas so that may explain the lower standards.
¶ 16:05:00 0 comments
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Of course Ms. Deason's previous school was in Texas so that may explain the lower standards.
Who left anorexic hagette Ann Coulter in charge?
"Invade their countries?" √
"Kill their leaders?" √
"Convert them to Christianity?" √
All's well on the hearts and minds front then.
"Kill their leaders?" √
"Convert them to Christianity?" √
All's well on the hearts and minds front then.
Labels: iraq, religion, us military
¶ 15:48:00 0 comments links to this post
Will there be pictures (or explanations of foot tapping codes)?
Soon to be ex-Senator Larry "Not Now and Never Has Been Gay but Is Willing to Consider It in the Future" Craig (R - ID) is go to write a tell (less than) all book. This should be good. I must remember to add it to my Xmas list!
Labels: hypocrites, republi-cons
¶ 15:44:00 0 comments links to this post
A question for both all five Presidential candidates
Are you going to ensure that the Pentagon audit office is fully funded so that it may carry out its charter? If not, why not? Please financially justify your response. (Hint: I guarantee that any additional funding will more than pay for itself!)
Labels: corruption, us military, us politics
¶ 15:38:00 0 comments links to this post
Damned liberal American media continues to shamefully ignore Middle Eastern Bible burnings!
Hundreds and hundreds of Christian Bibles have been blasphemously burned by radical Muslim Jewish students in Israel and the American press refuses to report on this gross violation of the Christian nature of the American state! When do we invade?
Labels: free speech, israel, religion
¶ 15:28:00 0 comments links to this post
Uh oh, God's gonna hate this!
The great Americans at Americans for Truth prove to us that the US media is "promoting atheism"! "How did they do this?" you ask. By reviewing the 2007 news coverage of ABC, CBS, NBC, Newsweek, Time, U.S. News and World Report an four programmes from National Public Radio. In all of this coverage they found one hundred and five (105!) stories that acknowledged the non-existence of God. Won't someone please think of the children!
¶ 14:48:00 0 comments
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Bush on blow
I must have missed this yesterday. One of the revelations in little Scotty's book is that apparently Captain Codpiece can't remember if he snorted coke at university.
"Heh. I snorted something. I thought it was coke but I was just a stupid rich kid. They probably ripped me off and I only did meth! Heh."
I must react to the drug different. I remember snorting coke it's the things I did afterwards that get fuzzy!
Labels: captain codpiece, drugs, schadenfreude
¶ 14:34:00 0 comments links to this post
R.I.P.
Utah Phillips - activist, musician, American hero - 1935 - 2008.
Labels: in memorium, music
¶ 14:20:00 0 comments links to this post
See John flee! Flee, John, flee!
Resplendently mustachioed former (temporary) US Ambassador to the UN and neo-con extraordinaire John Bolton escaped an attempt by writer and activist George Monbiot to arrest him for war crimes at the Hay Festival yesterday. The Guardian has pictures. I asked you lot to keep your fingers crossed and you failed me!
I may have more to say on this later.
I may have more to say on this later.
Labels: british politics, crimes against humanity, neocons
¶ 14:09:00 0 comments links to this post
One smallish step for mankind
Representatives of 109 countries have signed up to a comprehensive ban on cluster munitions. Included in the 109 nations is, somewhat surprisingly, the UK which has agreed to eliminate all of its cluster bombs and will also force the US to remove stockpiles from British soil. (I wonder if this covers Diego Garcia?)
The United States joined those beacons of freedom and peace China, Israel, Pakistan and Russia in refusing to even discuss the matter. India also did not attend the session or sign up to the agreement. The company one keeps says a lot about oneself I think.
The United States joined those beacons of freedom and peace China, Israel, Pakistan and Russia in refusing to even discuss the matter. India also did not attend the session or sign up to the agreement. The company one keeps says a lot about oneself I think.
Labels: cluster munitions
¶ 13:57:00 0 comments links to this post
White House hails bus Scott McClellan pushed Captain Codpiece under...
...and shoves the traitorous Scottie under it! The are so not happy. For instance thoroughly gruntled White House spokes model Dana Perino said that Mr McClellan
"is disgruntled about his experience at the White House...For those of us who fully supported him, before, during and after he was press secretary, we are puzzled. It is sad. This is not the Scott we knew."
Ms. Perino went on to say that Captain Codpiece was aware of the book but that he wouldn't be reading it, possibly because he still hasn't managed to get through his copy My Pet Goat II, an Xmas present.
Over on Faux News former Presidential aide turned professionalliar pundit Karl Rove stayed with the "not the Scottie I know" theme and also said that the quotes sounded like a "left wing blogger" because after all if you don't live in the Bush administrations anti-reality bubble then you must be evil. ("Left wing blogger" is White House code for "evil doer" by the way.) Mr. Rove went on to complain about the lowly wages he must be getting from the Faux Network as he said that he wouldn't be reading the book until "until somebody else buys it and gives me a copy". Come on Karl! The pay can't be that bad. The book's only £11.21 over here (and eligible for SuperSaver delivery!), it's bound to be cheaper over there. I'm sure you can afford it if you just cut back on the sweets. It's not as if you can't afford to lose a little weight. Just imagine how exciting it will be to have a chin of your own again! Here's Karl pontificating.
And here's some footage from MSNBC discussing the White House's anger managment problems. (I wonder what the word-he-can't-say-on-TV was.)
Over on Faux News former Presidential aide turned professional
(and eligible for SuperSaver delivery!), it's bound to be cheaper over there. I'm sure you can afford it if you just cut back on the sweets. It's not as if you can't afford to lose a little weight. Just imagine how exciting it will be to have a chin of your own again! Here's Karl pontificating.And here's some footage from MSNBC discussing the White House's anger managment problems. (I wonder what the word-he-can't-say-on-TV was.)
Labels: captain codpiece, republi-cons, schadenfreude
¶ 13:14:00 0 comments links to this post
Because it's your bloody job lady!
Crooks and Liars has a clip from one of those truly horrible Faux News shows in which the presenters decide to express their deeply not thought out positions that volunteer soldiers don't deserve the benefits that they will get from the new GI Bill (as opposed by Captain Codpiece and John McCain). The bit I find of most interest is when one of the MILF-like presenters of which the Faux Network is so fond, whose identify I don't know, proves totally incapable of pronouncing the word "vitriolic". We all like to have a bit of fun when a politician stumbles over a word or two, fifty in Captain Codpiece's case, but this woman pretends to be a professional broadcaster. Time she found a job that she is qualified for I should think.
Labels: faux news
¶ 12:18:00 0 comments links to this post
28 May 2008
Keep your fingers crossed
George Monbiot is going to attempt a citizen's arrest of John Bolton for crimes against humanity. I reckon he'd look good in an orange boiler suit, don't you? I'm also certain that the Syrians might have one or two questions they would like to ask him (and one or two ways to make him talk) after his extraordinary rendition.
Labels: british politics, crimes against humanity, neocons
¶ 16:04:00 0 comments links to this post
I know what you did this summer
The Asia Times is reporting that Captain Codpiece intends to attack Iran (illegally) by August. And "why not?" I must ask. After all all of the other wars are going so well.
Labels: captain codpiece, iran
¶ 15:59:00 0 comments links to this post
"Save the planet? Sure. Why not?...
...What the hell do you mean it's going to cost me?" The great spirit of American sacrifice for the greater good lives on. We are doomed, aren't we?
¶ 15:40:00 0 comments
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Didn't someone we all know and love used to be governor down there?
The (less and less) great state of Texas ranks 46th out of the 50 states in seeing to the health of its children and ranks last in insurance coverage for kids with 20% going uncovered. See? The market works!
Labels: amerika, health care, texas
¶ 15:25:00 0 comments links to this post
Mid-week madness
Fun with War Crimes - Episode 2 - "9/11 Changed Everything"
Labels: captain codpiece, egwot, humour
¶ 14:35:00 0 comments links to this post
Shorter Pat Buchanan
"Just thinking about the days when white men ruled the world gives me an enormous erection. Let's bring them back!"
Labels: wingnuts
¶ 14:25:00 0 comments links to this post
When they came for the cluster bombs I did nothing because I was not a cluster bomb
Kudos where kudos are due. Gordon Brown's government looks set to sign up to a total ban on cluster munitions leaving the US to hang out with its good mates Russia, China, Israel, India and Pakistan.
Labels: british politics, cluster munitions
¶ 14:15:00 0 comments links to this post
1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President
Number 33: if you ain't with 'im then you're agin him and boy is he with Captain Codpiece. He's voted with him 100% of the time this year.
Labels: captain codpiece, mccain
¶ 14:10:00 0 comments links to this post
"George! Look out! A bus!"
Today's Schadenfreude moment is brought to courtesy of Little Scottie McClellan, former spokes model at the White House, who has thrown Captain Codpiece under the proverbial bus. I may just have to read the book! Not that it will tell us anything we don't know already, (they lie, they violate the law, Captain Codpiece isn't much of a thinker) but to hear it from the lips of one of his chosen yet evil minions, whilst he is still in office, may be worth a few hours of my time.
! Not that it will tell us anything we don't know already, (they lie, they violate the law, Captain Codpiece isn't much of a thinker) but to hear it from the lips of one of his chosen yet evil minions, whilst he is still in office, may be worth a few hours of my time.Labels: captain codpiece, republi-cons, schadenfreude
¶ 13:46:00 0 comments links to this post
Just how toxic is Captain Codpiece?
His popularity is so low that even the Jamaican Prime Minister doesn't want to be seen with him!
Note: this is in no way intended to disparage Jamaica. I haven't been there for a very long time but I had two lovely holidays there when I was in my twenties involving sun, sex, beautiful food and perhaps some other stuff.
Note: this is in no way intended to disparage Jamaica. I haven't been there for a very long time but I had two lovely holidays there when I was in my twenties involving sun, sex, beautiful food and perhaps some other stuff.
Labels: captain codpiece
¶ 13:41:00 0 comments links to this post
Tasers save lives!
If you don't be believe me just as the Wall Street Journal which carries this story of a mentally ill man whose irregular heart beat was sorted out after he was Tasered by cops undoubtedly concerned for his well being.
They should start charging for this! (Sadly that pun is intentional.)
They should start charging for this! (Sadly that pun is intentional.)
Labels: tasering of the day
¶ 13:32:00 0 comments links to this post
Because there's no good reason why the owners should have a say
ExxonMobil wants to ban activism by shareholders because anyone who would put forward a motion on social issues bought the stock for illegitimate reasons rather than to get stinking rich by despoiling the planet.
Labels: big business, energy, environment
¶ 13:20:00 0 comments links to this post
American Jewish academic refused entry to Middle Eastern country for criticising government!
But since the academic is Norman Finkelstein and the Middle Eastern country is Israel there probably won't be a boycott or anything. Nonetheless I am sure that the State Department will protest in the strongest possible terms!
Labels: because Arabs are Semites too, free speech, israel
¶ 13:08:00 0 comments links to this post
"OK George I'll let you pass the hat...
Labels: captain codpiece, mccain
¶ 13:05:00 0 comments links to this post
27 May 2008
What's the French word for "pander"?
French President Nicholas Sarkosy, fast overtaking Captain Codpiece as to the percentage of the population of his country that thinks he is shite, is heading down the McCain/Clinton petrol tax holiday road. Not a good idea; in any language, in any country.
¶ 19:04:00 0 comments
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Germany to deny exclusively Jewish nature of the Holocaust...
...by raising a monument to victims of the Nazis who were ho-mo-sexuals! Now on to the communists and gypsies.
Labels: europe
¶ 18:46:00 0 comments links to this post
Good news for Gordo!
And God knows he needs it. If Barack Obama wins the election in November the British Prime Minister may no longer be required to drop his (or her) trousers and grab his (or her) ankles. Clearly this is yet another example of Senator Osama Obama demonstrating his unparalleled hatred for America.
Labels: obama, special relationship
¶ 18:23:00 0 comments links to this post
Why does the President need a "special" chopper?
Should any Presidential candidates read this blog looking for sage advice, and it is easy to see why they should, I think I have found a place we could start making some savings in the budget. For some reason it seems that the Presidential helicopter "Marine 1" (and there are many of them) is a type unto itself. The government is planning on spending $11,200,000,000 on developing a new version. That is more than the entire 2008 budget for Environmental "Protection" Agency.
As they used to say in the early days of the automobile: "Get a horse"!
As they used to say in the early days of the automobile: "Get a horse"!
Labels: us politics
¶ 18:10:00 0 comments links to this post
We are not alone!
It seems that the United States is not the only country where the government seems to take its marching orders from Big Pharma. It looks like Canada has the same problem. (Yes, before you ask, there is a similar, if smaller, problem in the UK as well.)
Labels: big business, drugs
¶ 17:55:00 0 comments links to this post
I have two questions
Who the fuck is Rachael Ray and when did she join the Popular Front for the Liberation of Paisley?
All this fuss is over an RJ (recipe jockey)?
All this fuss is over an RJ (recipe jockey)?
Labels: wingnuts
¶ 17:43:00 0 comments links to this post
Worrisome
The International Atomic Energy Agency, whose opinions I respect unlike those of the Captain Codpiece administration and the right wing talking heads, says that Iran has not been meeting its obligations to the agency re its nuclear energy programme especially as regards weapons research. I do not think it wise that Iran end up with nuclear weapons, although given Jimmy Carter's recent revelations (see post below) I can understand their motivation. In any case the last thing that Captain Codpiece and the steroid snorting neo-con mob need is anything to add any substance, however minor, to their case for attacking Iran.
Labels: iran, nuclear weapons
¶ 17:29:00 0 comments links to this post
A warning to Jimmy Carter
Now that you've blabbed about the size of Israel's double top secret nuclear arms cache I would be careful about returning to Israel anytime soon. You don't want to become another Mordecai Vanunu, do you?
Labels: israel, jimmy carter, nuclear weapons
¶ 17:22:00 0 comments links to this post
The real role of pure science
Clearly the billions and billions of US dollars, pounds, yen, rubles and yuan that have been spent on space research and exploration have not been wasted now that we will soon have space beer. Thank you Sapporo Breweries!
¶ 17:14:00 0 comments
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Would you like to know about science....
...yet you are intimidated by all the science-ey bits? Well you need worry no more. Now you can have your (traditional Christian) cake and eat it too* thanks to Exploring Creation with Zoology III which covers the exciting sixth day of creation!
*Not during Lent though!
¶ 17:08:00 0 comments
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*Not during Lent though!
26 May 2008
Dear Charlie Brooker
The answer to your troubling question is "no - they are". I hope that helps.
¶ 16:03:00 0 comments
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All your bank holiday news
Spring Bank Holiday? "√"
Cold? "√"
Windy? "√"
Pissing down rain? "√"
Cheese rolling? "√"
Cold? "√"
Windy? "√"
Pissing down rain? "√"
Cheese rolling? "√"
Labels: british life, weather
¶ 15:58:00 0 comments links to this post
It's been a busy week for the Virgin Mary
She's appeared in some bark in Texas and cured a 77 year old woman (who needs single payer health care?) and still had time to be part of a double act in a Wal-Mart bag in Iowa with her son Jesus.
Labels: