"I'm going to the loo. Will you watch my handbag for ten minutes?"

One would think that if one were the child of a President of the United States of America who, no matter where one goes, is surrounded by agents from the Secret Service that one would not have to worry about one's handbag.

One would be wrong.

Reports that young Bush, who was not identified as either Jemma or not-Jemma, was missing a favourite fake ID, several airplane bottles of vodka, several condoms and a pet rabbit have yet to be confirmed.