Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

It certainly wasn't in the Alanis Morissette song but it certainly seems to be in real life. An assistant bank manager in Scotland has been jailed for a little over a year for stealing £31,000 from customer accounts. In today's environment this seems rather curious. Perhaps her real crime was stealing ONLY £31,000. Had she stolen £31,000,000 or better yet £31,000,000,000 she probably would have been made a Dame!

I guess that Carol Barclay will have to accept her fifteen minutes of fame coming from the fact that she will almost certainly be the only HBOS employee to be punished for stealing money from taxpayers.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Noted American evangelist Billy Graham defines Christianity as a cult! I quote:

"One characteristic of cults is that they strongly believe they alone are right in their beliefs and everyone else is wrong"

I find the fact that he then goes on, in the very same paragraph, to suggest that this seemingly does not apply to Christianity ("thus they reject the central truths of the Bible that Christians have held in common for almost 2,000 years and substitute their own beliefs for the clear teaching of Scripture") I assume to be untended but hilarious irony!

I'm not sure if this is an idicator of anything....

...but a book by that America hating American Rashid Khalidi is currently about 2450 places higher in the Amazon ranking of book sales than John McCain's Faith of My Fathers.

The irony never, ever stops!

"I'm a Big" Dick Cheney is visiting Georgia (not the one with the Waffle Museum) where he has accused Russia of being a bully. I guess, as a member in good standing of the undead, he can't actually see his reflection in a mirror, can he?

The sound you now hear...

...is the sound of my head banging against a brick wall (and - yes - it fucking hurts). The Iraq government has plans to reopen Abu Ghraib prison including a museum of the "crimes committed by the previous regime". There is no word as yet if the years 2003 - 2007 will be included as part of this magnificent exhibit.

It takes a lot to laugh...

...it takes a Bush to cry. Apparently unaware that he shot his own moral legs out from under him and his country sometime age Captain Codpiece accuses the Russians of "bullying and intimidation".

I think it's time for a drink!

Special Saturday unintentionally ironic headline of the day"

Courtesy of Ms. Maglalang: "Rush Limbaugh: 20 years of excellence in broadcasting"

Yes - he really did say this!

Congress should "be very careful about running up enormous costs for future generations of Americans" according to Captain Codpiece. Somehow this sage advice only seems to apply to climate change legislation and not to an illegal invasion of a sovereign, if unsavoury, nation nor to unaffordable tax cuts for the extremely wealthy at the expense of the poor and middle class.

He really is a first class wanker.

Two sides to every story

Captain Codpiece is confident that a Palestinian state will be defined during his reign term. He even went so far as to describe Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas as someone that "rejects the idea of using violence to achieve objectives, which distinguishes him from other people in the region". Captain Codpiece said this completely without any sense of irony.

Presidet Abbas's perspective on the situation is rather different as he said, and I paraphrase broadly: "we ain't goin' nowhere". He also forgot to describe the US President as a "man of peace", for obvious reasons.

Department of unintentional irony

Increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conoco-leezza Rice called Iraqi cleric Muqtada al-Sadr a coward yesterday for calling for war against the Iraqi government unless attacks against his followers cease from a safe haven in Iran. Said Ms. Rice: "I guess that's the message; his followers can go too their deaths and he's in Iran." Ms. Rice made this statement whilst cowering in the relative safety of the Green Zone in Baghdad before returning to Washington and leaving the American troops to their fate.

Mine eyes have seen the glory!

With no apparent sense of irony the White House greeted a message of peace (or "an awesome speech" according to some partially evolved simian) from the Pope with a rendition of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic". Nice, eh?

This should teach them to make decisions based on the information in Pentagon press releases!

Without a hint of irony the US Ambassador to Iraq, Ryan Crocker, has criticised the "planning" behind the Iraqi government offensive in Basra. Other, unnamed American officials suggest that the Iraqi government may have overestimated the preparedness of its army and underestimated the insurgents. One wonders where they get such silly ideas? Can you pick up Faux News in Baghdad?

"It's victory John but not as we know it!"

Yesterday MSNBC was forced to interrupt John McCain's declaration of victory in Iraq in order to cover the escalating violence in the country. Crooks and Liars has the video.

They should feel right at home

With no apparent sense of irony the US State Department is warning Americans planning on attending the Beijing Olympiad that they may be subject to surveillance. It is not entirely clear from the news release if the surveillance will be conducted by Chinese security or Blackwater under contract to the NSA.

Your tax dollars (not) at work

Congressional Republicans are working to force back into law the requirement that fully a third of all American aid funds for HIV/AIDS be devoted to ineffective abstinence only programmes that have been shown not to work. This would be tragic, rather than humorous, except for the fact that is Senator David "I Never Met a Hooker I Wouldn't Shag" Vitter of Louisiana who is taking the lead in the effort.

For reasons I do not understand Senator Vitter did not resign and was not forced to resign after admitting to availing himself of the services of prostitutes in Washington and back home in Louisiana. Perhaps ex-Governor Spitzer can explain.

Who says Americans have no sense of irony

Today's headline of the day: "Bush: Cheney to Press for Mideast Peace". Is this before or after he becomes one of the un-un-dead?

How droll

World renowned "Internet Evangelist" accuses Oprah Winfrey of pushing "spiritual crack" without an apparent trace of irony. God certainly has a sense of humour, hasn't She?

And damned right too!

The brave nation of Turkey has refused to submit to the calls of the cowardly cut and runners in the US administration and will not commit to timetable for its withdrawal from Iraq. After all we all know that setting a timetable for withdrawal means that the evil doers have won.

Hey, wait just one minute, the Turks are pulling out! The terrorists hiding behind the US military in non-existent Kurdistan have won!

"Take a memo to Secretary Gates"

Dear Secretary Gates,

Perhaps you were unaware that a "first in, first out" (FIFO) policy is generally considered best practice that the "last in, first out" (LIFO) policy that you seem to be recommending is generally reserved for situations where it is expedient to defer or understate profits; hardly the case here. (Refer to Generally Accepted Accounting Principles for further guidance.) You should therefore consider retracting your statement at the earliest opportunity.

Thanks for listening and good luck in your next job.

Sincerely,

Yank in London

Is this irony?

The United States Environmental "Protection" Agency has released a list of the country's 20 biggest polluters.

At number four - Envirosafe Service of Ohio for it's facility in Oregon Ohio.