Murder Inc - "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney style

Investigative reporter extraordinaire, Sy Hersh, tells us that former US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney was running a hit squad out of his office. One can only hope that if America won't prosecute this scum bag, and lock him away for the rest of his (un)natural life, that he will eventually make the mistake of leaving the country and a true democracy will do it for us!

Ex-VP lauds effeciency of Obama administration

Former VP "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney is effusive in his praise of the new Democratic administration as he claims that in a mere 15 days they have endangered all Americans and made it almost certain that Islamofacistragheadbrownpeople (and possibly Democrats) will attack America with a chaotic mix of nuclear weapons, anthrax and box cutters.

What a cunt. Now if he would only disappear quietly into the slime from which he emerged, eh.

Exploding wing nut heads alert

I plan to sit back and watch as America's right-wing-nut community goes berserk over the completely accurate comments by UN special rapporteur on torture, Manfred Nowak, that US must investigate and prosecute George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld et al for crimes against humanity.

The United States has ratified the UN convention on torture which places an obligation of states to prosecute violations and the US Constitution defines ratified treaties as the highest law of the land.

A seranade for "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney

It seems that the evil one behind the throne has no regrets. Nonetheless I would think he probably should avoid holidaying in Spain in his retirement. They take a hard view on war criminals there.

And so in memory of "I'm a Big" Dick I give you the Sparrow.

It will almost certainly come to nothing...

...but for the moment the indictment of "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney and Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales in Texas allows a man to dream. I mean who wouldn't pay to see those two in chains!

In the news

Apparently the heart of US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney has started beating and he's been admitted to hospital to sort it out before he returns to his coffin an undisclosed location.

The irony never, ever stops!

"I'm a Big" Dick Cheney is visiting Georgia (not the one with the Waffle Museum) where he has accused Russia of being a bully. I guess, as a member in good standing of the undead, he can't actually see his reflection in a mirror, can he?

I hope you didn't miss this

Albert Stanley, appointed to run KBR by none other than current US Vice President (and non-hockey mom) "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney whilst Cheney was running Halliburton, has pleaded guilty to paying millions in bribes to win contracts for KBR. Fortunately, with influential friends in the White House the bribes are no longer necessary and the contracts just keep pouring in!

Well that's relief

Despite an approval rating in the neighbourhood of 0.00002% US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney will deliver a triumphant farewell speech at the Republican National Convention. Rumours that delegates will be required to arrive at the hall twelve hours before the speech, to remain barefoot and be tied to their chairs during the speech cannot be confirmed at this time.

Why I think that we should give up on impeachment...

...and, assuming that the allegations in Ron Suskind's new book are true, concentrate on getting Captain Codpiece, "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney and associated evil minions tried and convicted for war crimes and crimes against humanity. Do we need clearer evidence that this lot did exactly what most of those tried at Nuremberg were convicted of, waging an illegal war of aggression.

In which I personally support the troops...

...now that they've told "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney to go fuck off after his security demands including locking a bunch of injured war veterans with prosthetic limbs, who curiously include zero members of the "our priorities are elsewhere" Cheney clan, in a room for two hours before His Heartless Eminence arrived and prevented them from leaving before he finished speaking.

Well done lads!

From the department of "not exactly news"

How can you tell that US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney is lying?

His lips are moving; again.

How did Kucinich miss this one?

Not one of his 35 counts of impeachment mention the fact that Captain Codpiece is little more than an appeaser in a codpiece! Brace yourself for the righteous and justified right wing outrage (not to mention a good talking to from "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney)!

From the department of not exactly news

Bush lied and so did Cheney.

"Stop it Dick, you're killing me here!"

US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney tries stand up. Fails. Offends West Virginians and incest lovers everywhere!

"Business is booming" say "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney...

...as he visits the Philadelphia company that printed those rebate cheques that are going to save the American economy (but only if you buy a flat screen TV with them and whatever you do don't just use them to pay the mortgage).

The incredible vanishing Vice President

First US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney and his team told us that he wasn't part of the Executive Branch of government because he was President of the Senate, making him a member of the Legislative Branch (and therefore not subject to an Executive Order on classified information) and now his lawyer tells us that the Legislative Branch has no authority over him either! Perhaps this means that he doesn't actually exist and that it has all been, like that season of Dallas just a horrible dream!

Torture by committee

Over the past few days we have learned, thanks to an ABC News investigation, that a group of highly placed Bush administration officials, including US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney, approved the torture of terrorist suspects. (Note: they will claim that what they approved didn't amount to torture but it id.) Not only did they approve it; they directed it with an almost pornographic attention to detail. Despite what he now know many questions remain including:

• Will they ever have to face "justice"?
• Just exactly who was it that violated omertà?
• And, of course, why did they talk about torture in the White House?

More from the Countdown crew.

Damn the Inquirer!

I got over-excited when I saw this headline, "State clamps down on Cheyney", in the Inquirer. My first thought was that Governor Rendell had issued an arrest warrant for US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney, and the paper had mispelled his name, only to find that the story was about the finances of Cheney University outside of West Chester and not about the Evil Overlord. Damnm damn, damn!

How do I loathe thee - let me count the ways

When asked about the milestone of the 4,000th American death in Iraq the sub-human slime that is US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney essentially replies: well they volunteered. Crooks and Liars has the video, if you can stomach it? He also has the unmitigated gall and the hubris to say, and I quote, "the president carries the biggest burden".

How dare he? How fucking dare he? He, who demonstrated his lack of courage and patriotism through his priorities being elsewhere all throughout his five Vietnam era draft deferments, has neither the right nor the perspective to make such an offensive and incorrect statement. I am certain that the families of each and every one of the dead 4,000, irrespective of they attitude to the ware itself, will agree with me. Captain Codpiece does not bear the burden; "I'm a Big" Dick does not bear the burden; these families do!