Joy in Mudville

The Philly Daily News wins a Pulitzer.



This probably will mean nothing when they get auctioned off later this month because journalism doesn't mean anything to genius of the market; only the ability to generate cash does.

If you're of certain age, like me, and...

...grew up around Philadelphia you will probably watch this video and think Horn & Hardart. And you would be right.

A day in mudless Mudville

They had some kind of part in Philadelphia yesterday. I couldn't make it (but I was at the first one!)

Attention Philadelphia

Won't someone please send me some photos from the parade? Please?

I was at the last one!

Live from Mudville!

Despite having to endure the longest match in World Series history, at some 50 hours and counting, the losingest team in professional sport history has managed to win the "World Championship" for only the second time, increasing their frequency of success to about once every 62.5 years.

I didn't stay up to watch it although I do have it recorded and will probably watch it this evening; after a few celebratory pints down the pub. However I did receive a frantic phone call somewhere around 2 AM this morning from the 6 1/2 year old grandnephew with the news. I wonder if his Mum ever got him to sleep last night.

In any case the win was followed by the traditional mildly homo-erotic scene of about 30 writhing men in uniform in a pile pile on the floor which can be seen at the end of the clip below.

Suddenly not everyone wants to be an Oscar Meyer weiner!

If only because the Philadelphia police have suddenly taken to blowing up hot dogs.

A letter to the City of Brotherly Love

Dear Phil-delph-yuns,

I spent most of the first 37 years of my life living in the Philadelphia area and I still have a great affection for the city. Perhaps the thing I have always loved about it is that, in opposition to New York, it always seemed human scale rather than gargantuan. So please don't ruin this by building a building a huge, fuck all building on Logan Square, OK?

That is all.

Kind regards,

Yank in London

Please pay attention

I am only going to say this once! Cheez Whiz is not cheese! American cheese is not cheese! If there was anything approaching a trade descriptions act in the US you couldn't call anything with either of these petrochemicals on it a cheese steak! Got it?

Oh fuck, now I really, really want a cheese steak (with provolone of course).

But is "treason" a high crime or misdemeanour?

Philly's own Will Bunch accuses Captain Codpiece of "political treason" for his ill-judged and offensive speech before the Knesset earlier in the week.

Today's mood

After last night's football hungover and grim. But nonetheless a good season and Crystal Palace really are the perfect side for someone whose sporting loyalties were forged in the unpleasant crucible that is Philadelphia. Palace so often offer great promise; Palace so often fail to deliver (and they're nicknamed the Eagles). Does any of this sound familiar at all to the denizens of the City of Brotherly Love?

"Business is booming" say "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney...

...as he visits the Philadelphia company that printed those rebate cheques that are going to save the American economy (but only if you buy a flat screen TV with them and whatever you do don't just use them to pay the mortgage).

Somewhere the ghost of Frank "I'm Gonna Make Attila the Hun Look Like a Faggot" Rizzo is smiling

Will Philly become the new LA now that a video of police officers beating and kicking three suspects has come to light?

As the city's Police Commission put it: it "does not look good".

In other excellent sporting news...

In case you missed the fact that Crystal Palace FC beat Burnley 5 - 0 this afternoon to take a place in the Premiership promotion playoffs (or don't care) it seems that at least one Philadelphia team is surprising the pundits as the Flyers make the Stanley Cup semi-finals by beating Les Habitants in five games. Well done lads!

Now I'm definitely off down the pub for a jar or ten.

Your Sunday Schadenfreude (Philly edition)

It seems that other city down the other end of the state is America's sootiest city. Snigger.

Kick off time!

Today's a big day for we loyal Crystal Palace FC supporters! It we win we're in the promotion playoff and even if we don't we can still make them if other results go our way.

Palace are the perfect team for a life long Philly fan. They offer promise. They fail to meet promise. Over and over and over again. Sound familiar Phlly fans?

Did Hillary do this?

She says she can fix anything! Well last night the Flyers managed to win the seventh game of their first round series in overtime down in Washington AND the Phillies win finally gets them above .500 which means that I can talk about them again! (I do miss hockey and baseball.)

"Man on Dog" Santorum waxes eloquent

For those of you who didn't know Little Ricky Santorum, my ex-Junior-Senator, has a column in the Philadelphia Inquirer. He devotes his current on to explaining what rabid right wingers like him should suck it up and support John McCain. His argument boils down to the following (and I quote): "He's not Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton".

He does have a gift doesn't he?

Hey, what about Americans' fundamental right to keep and bear faux arms?

I am sure that is only a matter of time before Philadelphia Councilwoman Donna Reed Miller hears from the National Rifle Association over her clearly unconstitutional plans to ban the sale of toy guns in Philly.

I have a tip for Ms. Miller; banning the real ones will probably be much more effective.

How not to be loved in Pittsburgh

Filming from Philadelphia Stephen Colbert adopts the Phillies, Flyers, Sixers and Eagles in order to condescend to Pennsylvanians apparently quite forgetting that there is another, albeit inferior, city in the state; not to mention the slightly superior record of their sporting clubs.

We wuz robbed!

Forbes Magazine has a feature that purports to rank America's most miserable sport cities and yet lists Atlanta as the most miserable with Philadelphia all the way down at number nine! How dare they! We invented miserable. My family has been suffering with the Phillies since the nineteenth century. My father wasn't allowed to go see the A's because they kept buying the Phillies best players. (He did manage to seek off without his father's knowledge to see Ty Cobb at the end of his career.)

Atlanta? Paw! The Phillies had five thousand losses before Atlanta had a bloody team!

This is a fix if I ever saw one!