I think I need to pay more attention to American football!

I confess my interest in the old gridiron sport has faded considerably in the sixteen years I've lived here even though I realise that de Iggles are doing rather well this year, even if unexpectedly so.

However I must confess that the following headline has reinvigorated my interest:

"The New York Jets And The Flaming Lesbian Catfight"

It's all happening tonight, innit?

We have England v Belarus; Philadelphia v Los Angeles; and a doddering old man v an illegal immigrant, communistic Muslim. I just can't decide what to do but I think it starts (and probably ends) with a pint!

And the winner is [drumroll]

At least according to the patented Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table methodology Jamaica escaped with a fairly narrow victory over regional rivals the Bahamas, 14.6 points per million to 13.0 ppm. A late surge by Iceland, who won a silver medal in something, saw them leap from literally nowhere into third position on the final day with 9.87 ppm. Bahrain (6.96 ppm) and Norway (6.89 ppm) round out the top 5. Australia ended up in 7th; one position worse then their 6th place finish in the traditional table. Great Britain (whatever happened to Northern Ireland) finished in 21st place on 2.44 ppm. The US managed to struggle up to 44th position on 1.09 ppm and hosts China ended up in a disappointing 64th position. Bringing up the rear of the medalling nations was India, forever ruing the exclusion of cricket as an Olympic sport!

(Sorry for the delay in reporting the results. Busy bank holiday what with barbies and carnivals to attend. At least I have had my annual dose of curried goat, jerk chicken, salt fish & ackee and rice and gungo peas!)

The penultimate medal table

The patented Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table methodology shows no change at the top of table and, barring another surprise medal from Bahrain, it looks as if Jamaica has a lock on the top spot with 6 golds, 3 silvers and bronze worth 40 points measured against a population of only 2.8 million. Bahrain is in second, Slovenia third, Estonia fourth and Australia has slipped into fifth, almost unnoticed.

No change

A quick review of the results utilising the patented Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table methodology reveals no change at the top of the table with Jamaica, Bahrain, Slovenia, Estonia and New Zealand still in the top five positions. Great Britain slips a bit to 20th and with the US sliding further down into 42nd.

Jamaica takes commanding leading!

As of earlier this morning, and not including the women's 200 metre final, the patented Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal analysis methodology saw Jamaica surge back into the lead with a truly extraordinary 10.34 points per million of population pushing those pesky Bahrainis back into second place (6.96 ppm) with Slovenia (6.47 ppm), Estonia (6.12 ppm) and antipodeans New Zealand (5.51 ppm) rounding out the top five. Team GB is still in a respectable 16th place (2.12 ppm) but America remains mired in mid-table obscurity at 39th (0.81 ppm)and India continue to bring up the rear due to the lack of cricket on the Olympic menu!

Wow, he is fast

Usain Bolt has done the sprint double with a second world record in the 200 metres; apparently without watching himself on telly. Only hours ago I predicted that he would win but without getting near Michael Johnson's record. (I can't pick horses either.)

Well I didn't see this coming!

Once again the patented Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal analysis methodology throws us a curve ball with Bahrain leaping ahead of Jamaica with 6.96 points per million over the Caribbean nation's 6.77. Slovenia and Estonia are third and fourth respectively with New Zealand pushing their antipodean neighbours Australia out of the top five. This is getting interesting.

The UK remains on the edge of respectability at 16th and US is mired in mid-table obscurity at 39th with 0.77 points per million. Better luck next time Yanks!

Jamaica widens the gap!!

Using the patented Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal analysis methodology we find that Jamaica continues to lead the medal table with 6.78 points per million of population. Slovenia, Estonia and those pesky antipodeans, Australia and New Zealand round out the top five. My adopted country has surged forward to 15th place, mostly whilst sitting down and the country of my birth continues to toil in mid table obscurity where they are now sure to finish. So no crowing after the Olympics Yanks; you won't have come first no matter how much you play with the rankings!

Jah loves Jamaica!

Thanks to the swiftness of their 100 metre runners Jamaica has built a possibly insurmountable lead at the top of the Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table with 6.77 points per million of population with Slovenia (a lovely little country by the way) surging into second with nearly 5 point per million. Australia is still not to be counted out in third and they are closely followed by their fellow antipodeans New Zealand. Slovakia rounds out the top five.

Following a brilliant performance at the weekend the United Kingdom have remained nearly stationary in 21st place whilst the US has fallen to 37th; behind such sporting notables as Kyrgyzstan, Zimbabwe, Armenia, Finland and Mongolia! India continues to have a lock on the first relegation place with a miserable 0.004 points per million! More later.

Damn Antipodeans!

Well it was inevitable wasn't it? Using the patented Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table methodology as of last night the Aussie have moved into first place with 3.35 points per million of population with the Slovaks still making a battle of it in second place with 3.30 PPM. Norway, Mongolia and Georgia round out the top five whilst my home country of the UK languishes in 20th position just ahead of my homeland, the US, in 22nd. Meanwhile India, on 0.004 PPM, is destined for relegation!

Steppe-ing out!!!

According the official Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table Mongolia is the new Georgia and now lead this most important of all Olympic rating systems with 2.67 points per million narrowly edging out Wednesday's leader Georgia whose team is probably otherwise engaged! Still midtable obscurity for the Yanks in 18th place with 0.3 points per million as well as the ultimate ignominy of trailing Britain in 17th place!

Go, go Georgia

The official Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table continues and today sees the state nation of Georgia, militarily defeated as it may be, surge into a potentially insurmountable lead with a score of 2.38 points per million of population! Australia is anchoring its position in second at 1.55, Slovenia is third at 1.49, Slovakia fourth at 1.47 and Azerbaijan fifth at 1.35. The UK is slipping down the table and now ranks 25th and midtable obscurity beckons for the US in 26th. India at a meagre 0.004 points per million still brings up the rear!

Those surging Slovaks!

The second edition of the official Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table sees the Slovak Republic surge into a commanding lead thanks to gold medal from Michal Martikan in Men's canoeing. The Slovaks now have 1.47 points per million of population making it nearly impossible, already, to the US to ever take the lead. Azerbaijan has moved up to second and the Aussies into third forcing yesterday's leader Finland into fourth. The US did move up to 15th place; still behind Britain in 11th. Hosts China remain mired in 27th and India, being an incredibly populous country that isn't much good at anything beside cricket, sadly not an Olympic event, bring up the rear of the medal winning nations with a pathetic 0.004 points per million!

More to come!

And now, for the first time anywhere....

....the official Yank in London modified Beijing Olympics medal table (rules below):

In first place at 1.144 is Finland (one gold - one bronze)

In second place at 0.978 is the Czech Republic

In third place at 0.650 is South Korea

Great Britian is 19th, the US a lowly 24th and China 32nd!

Further updates to follow over the next fortnight.

The rules: (5 x golds + 3 x silvers + bronzes) / population in millions

Say it ain't so!

The Canadian Broadcasting Company is dropping the theme music for Hockey Night in Canada. Yet another great institution sadly abandoned.

Meanwhile back at the ranch

Whilst the war in Iraq continues (with moderate recent success) and the war in Afghanistan continues (with increasing failure); whilst the price of energy soars and America's (and western Europe's) conspicuous consumption drives global climate change perhaps beyond the tipping point; whilst poverty in America and the world spirals upwards and more and more go hungry my senior Senator, Arlen "Single Bullet" Specter remains convinced that the US Senate should be spending more of its valuable(?) time investigating what the Americans call football. [Sigh]

"Single Bullet" Specter loses the plot (again)

I have had Arlen Specter as one of my Senators for a very long time and we have had a difficult relationship. At times he seems almost like a normal human being in possession of a spinal column only to disappoint; time and time again.

Now he has decided that there is a problem in American so severe that it requires that an independent Federal investigation is required. "What is this problem?" you ask. Is it high gas prices? The firing of US Attorneys for political reasons? The politically motivated prosecution of a southern Democrat to prevent him regaining the governor's mansion in his state? The suppression of science for political gain and the profit of huge multi-national businesses?

None of these?

What then? I don't know how I overlooked the scandal that is how the New England Patriots used video cameras to cheat at American football!

In other excellent sporting news...

In case you missed the fact that Crystal Palace FC beat Burnley 5 - 0 this afternoon to take a place in the Premiership promotion playoffs (or don't care) it seems that at least one Philadelphia team is surprising the pundits as the Flyers make the Stanley Cup semi-finals by beating Les Habitants in five games. Well done lads!

Now I'm definitely off down the pub for a jar or ten.

I'm sure he'll do the right thing

Someone has got to be kidding me. After receiving several hundred thousand US dollars worth of education, at the taxpayers' expense, from the US Military Academy is one Caleb Campbell going to be able to avoid serving just because he got drafted into the NFL?

If he comes out with a statement to the effect that he wants to do his duty just like the President did you'll know which way he's leaning.