Only Jesus can save those Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys now!

Without further ado I direct you to PrayforFrance.org. One can never be certain these days but I don't think this is a piss take.

Today in Schadenfreude

The mindless cult of "Church" of Scientology is facing fraud charges in France. Now if this would only happen in the UK so that I wouldn't have to run the gauntlet of "free stress tests" every Saturday on Bromley High Street!

What's the French word for "pander"?

French President Nicholas Sarkosy, fast overtaking Captain Codpiece as to the percentage of the population of his country that thinks he is shite, is heading down the McCain/Clinton petrol tax holiday road. Not a good idea; in any language, in any country.

I'll bet they haven't even got a word for "appeaser"!

Those damn fromage eating surrender monkeys are at it again! Didn't they listen to Captain Codpiece's brave and instructive speech before the Knesset last week?

In which I hope Mitch McConnell is right (for once)

He thinks that the Democratic Party wants to turn America into France. What a shame this would be; the food would be better, the coffee would be drinkable et les femmes, les femmes!

Today in infamy - "how many kilos in a stone again" edition

On this date in 1790 the metric system was born. Brilliant to those raised on it but to those of us who weren't (and who live in a country strangely stuck halfway) it's not so simple.

"C’est magnifique, mais...

...ce n’est pas le Camembert."

(Apologies to Marshal Bosquet)

Damn cheese eating free trade haters!

The right wing President of France, Nicholas Sarkozy, has raised the prospect of a French boycott of the Olympic opening ceremonies over the violence and oppression by the Chinese government in Tibet. Don't they realise that there's business at stake here?

And there's some sort of something stirring up the tabloids re the most recent Mrs. Sarkozy as well. (Probably NSFW)

Would this be so bad?

On his way out of the 2008 door on his way to the 2012 door failed Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney warned that America could "turn into the France of the 21st century".

And he views this as a bad thing?

When I hitch upon a falling star

What is to blame for Nicolas Sarkozy's plummeting approval ratings in France; his close association with Captain Codpiece or the new bride? Personally I blame M. Bush because the new bride is just too lovely.

And it's just a week away!

Don't worry. I've notified le Général of this important, if perhaps ill-fated, attempt to save the heathen French.

How do you say "buyer's remorse" in French?

Captain Codpiece has told the world that French President Nicolas Sarkozy "is like me". The sounds of 60,000,000 Frenchmen and women pounding their heads against the wall immediately followed this announcement.

Whilst we are on the subject of M. le Président he was invited to speak before Congress, for reasons that are indecipherable to me, and by all accounts he was greeted with a "raptorous" welcome. One wonders why. So far his chief accomplishments in his as yet brief tenure at the helm of his country have been to:

• Go jogging in an NYPD t-shirt
• Get divorced (for the second time)
• Host a Rugby Union World Cup tournament in which his country's side, despite being at home, performed miserably.

That's really not much to write home about.