No Child Left Behind - Florida style

Some schools in Florida are counting the time it takes their students to walk to lunch against the state's requirement for two and half hours of physical exercise each week. I suspect this won't help the state reduce their overall level of obesity from 23%. Of course, once the kids get to lunch they can stuff themselves full of their favourite vegetable: ketchup!

I wonder how they broke this to Ann Widdicome

Tory health spokesperson Andrew Lansley tells us that there's not excuse for being fat although he provides no specifics as to how he will rid the UK of this heinous obesity! Eugenics anyone?

Christ they'll say anything!!

That long standing member of the elite, liberal America media, The Wall Street Journal puts forward the thoughtful argument that Senator Obama isn't fat enough to be President and that he's too fit.

Curiously they seem to have failed to make the same argument against the current illegitimate resident of the Oval Office.

Surely this can't be right, can it?

Is it possible that Australians are fatter than Americans?

Because you are mate!

From a real letter published in Massachusetts's South Coast Today:

"Everybody says I'm obese. I am 5 feet 7 inches and weigh 270 pounds. I am a 48-year-old male. I swim three to five times a week. I feel good. I recently had a stress test for my heart. I came out with flying colors. Why am I being told I am obese? I have a 52-inch chest and a 50-inch waist."

Just try and think back to the last time you saw your feet, mate. Just exactly how old were you?

God's diet

Because the Lord, should She in fact exist, has nothing better to do with Her time than tell the obese when to eat. Because the "faithful" are there to be preyed up.

Is scary fat the new black?

According to Eric Finkelstein, a health economist (whatever that is) and author of a new book America's obese, of which there are legion, are not suffering from an illness but are making an acceptable lifestyle choice; just like drug addicts, alcoholics, paedophiles and wife beaters presumably.

Spin of the day

Computer games to blame for childhood obesity say head of McDonald's UK. Fatty burgers, sugary sauces and drive through restaurants conspicuously absent from mention.

Quote of the day

"I ain't that fat, I only weigh 277*". This is how Ricky Labit reacted to being charged extra at his local buffet restaurant.

* 19.8 stone

I don't know about this

I'm far too lazy today to look up the statistics but I am certain that I am right when I say that these researchers would probably be more more useful if they were working on a vaccine for McDonalds rather than one for cocaine.

Why Americans make lousy engineers

They can't even tell when their own kids are so fat that their health is in danger for Christ's sake! 43% of parents of an extremely overweight or obese child, aged 6 - 11, said that they kid's weight was "about right". Another 37% thought their little angel was only "slightly overweight" and a few geniuses thought their child was underweight.

Just what America needs!

New and better ways to get scary fat. Meet Pizza Hut's new Double Deep Pizza - "double the toppings and 50 percent more cheese".

"Nutrition" information - 580 calories - 36g fat 31g carbohydrates. PER SLICE.

There's always a cynic, isn't there?

Just to make sure that no one gets too elated over this story that tells us that for the first time in a quarter of a century Americans aren't getting any fatter the story contains the following quote from Glenn Gaesser, a physiologist at the University of Virginia: "You can only get so fat".

He really knows how to ruin a mood doesn't he? I think I better have some Twinkies and think about it.

Not-exactly-news department

Who could possibly have guessed that being old AND obese was a health double whammy?

Not exactly health food

If you live in the states and are thinking about going out to dinner tonight you would do well to steer well clear of the country's chain faux Italian restaurants. Watch and learn.

Is our childrens gaining?

Disneyland is having to shut down the "It's a Small World" rides for nearly a year because your average American has become so obese that the boats are bottoming out.

Rumours that the ride will be renamed "It's a Scary Fat World" when the modifications have been completed cannot be confirmed at this time.

But won't all the fat people just move away?

The British government is planning to create a series of "fit towns", to house up to 200,000 people, as part of its plans to combat the creeping Americanisation of Britain's waistline. Somehow I don't think it's going to be quite that easy.

Eat less - skip Micky D's - live longer

In what can only be deemed bad news for a huge swathe of America's (and to a lesser extent Britain's) population we learn that body fat is linked to at least six different types of cancer. One of the key recommendations in the report from the American Institute for Cancer Research and the World Cancer Research Fund, in addition to the obvious "lose some bloody weight", is that red meat consumption be kept below 18 ounces (510 grams) per week.

The entire and entirely depressing report, all 500+ pages of it, can be found here.

I know it is not because they can't find any fat people in America

For some reason a new series of anti-obesity advertisements from the US Department of Health and Human Services don't actually show any obese people. One demands to know why not!

What's the matter with America?

I'm not sure I can answer that but that there is something terribly, terribly wrong in a country where marketing a 920 calorie fast food breakfast can be considered in anyway sane. I don't think we have to wait for global warming. If America gets any fatter the sheer weight of the population will shortly cause the country to sink beneath the waves.