Strange enough to be true

The Daily Mash imagines some advice from Il Papa to the residents of Africa on safe sex.

A message to all Italian women (and Italian men with a conscience)

I certainly hope that any of you who may have been so foolhardy as to vote for your current President, Silvio Berlusconi, will consider his comments as regards Eluana Englaro and demand his immediate resignation. Ms. Englaro has been in a vegetative state for over 16 years and her father has finally won a protracted court battle to allow her force feeding to be discontinued; thereby allowing his daughter to die with some dignity. Sr. Berlusconi has seen fit to pander to the Vatican, despite over 75% of the Italian population believing that she should be allowed to die, and has issued a fiat demanding that the order of the Italian Supreme Court not be honoured. The Italian President, Giorgio Napolitano, has refused to sign this imperial decree but Berlusconi is attempting to have the Italian Parliament ratify and nullify the court order.

However my outrage is not at Mr. Belusconi's blatant attempts to seize imperial power in Italy and go against the order of the court and the will of the electorate in order to placate Il Papa. My own position is in opposition to his. My outrage is at his comments to the effect that Ms. Englaro, despite having been in a coma for over 16 years, is "in the condition to have babies". Clearly any politician who holds the female citizens in such low esteem that he considers them little more than equipment for breeding deserves immediate retirement; and a shameful retirement at that.

I certainly hope that the women of Italy agree and see to it that he must leave his office; immediately and in disgrace.

Just not good enough

Former ex-Roman Catholic Bishop Richard Williamson who denies that the holocaust occurred has "agreed" to examine the evidence to see if there just might have been a few Jews, gypsies, homosexuals or communists killed by the Nazis and their allies before and during the Second World War. It would seem that former ex-Bishop Williamson wants to give this effort due diligence and has indicated that this will take some time.

I can only assume that until he gets his finger out ex-Hitler Youth member his Holiness and sole representative of (at least one of may) God(s) on Earth Pope Benedict XVI will re-excommunicate the former ex-Bishop.

I wait with bated breath.

Captain Codpiece meets Il Papa!

But what did the talk about?

Maybe they had a chat about the incredible success of the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq, or not.

Perhaps they discussed the Captain's illustrious record as the Great Helmsman of Texas and how he meted out Old Testament punishments, or not.

They might have then had a wee chat about Bush's economic philosophy centred on unfettered "free" market capitalism, or not.

Given what Our Great Leader planned to talk about later in the day they could have touched on the American crusade against action against climate change, or not.

At the very least they must have traded opinions on the New 7 Deadly Sins given Dubya's exemplary record combating pollution and ensuring that wealth creation does not create a new mega-rich elite at the expense of the poor, or not.

I reckon that just leaves abortion then.

It's a good thing that the Pope's a busy man and there wasn't much time to kill.

Is it cause she sorta black?

Last month Il Papa refused a request for an audience from increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice. That has got to hurt.