My day so far

Before 0405 - wake up

0405 - look at clock and realise it is 0405

0425 - give up battle to return to sleep

0425 to 0630 - shower, eat, drink coffee, write emails, do some work

0630 - depart for Bromley South

0652 - arrive Bromley South - notice that ALL TRAINS are delayed or cancelled due to "very severe weather conditions in Kent" (this means it got a bit chilly last night)

0659 - my 0704 train to Ramsgate is cancelled but 0736 train to Canterbury West is listed as "on time"

0731 - 0736 train apparently goes missing and is listed as delayed

0736 - 0830 - wait outside the barriers, occasionally popping off for a double espresso, whilst getting buffeted around for 3,127 commuters who, despite the rucksacks strapped to their backs, the kit bags over their shoulder or their hand bags the size of Luxembourg, naively fail to realise that they take up more space their body without the luggage.

0831 - just before going through barriers hear the following announcement: "the train now standing on platform 1 is the 0614 Blackfriar's service.

0832 - share chuckle with woman standing next to me

0842 - board marginally delayed 0736 Canterbury West train

0944 - arrive Lenham where all evidence of "very severe weather" has magically vanished and it is a lovely sunny spring morning.

0958 - arrive work and warn colleagues that today is not a day to fuck with me.

0958 - 1718 - work (it doesn't go very well)

1908 - arrive at the Partridge and begin consuming London Pride. This will continue until morale improves (or chucking out time arrives)

I thought that you should know.

R.I.P.

Frank Blackmore; traffic engineer, inventor of the mini-roundabout and designer of Swindon's famous (infamous?) Magic Roundabout (see below); 1916 - 2008.

Just occasionally I find that I agree with the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient yet invisible "hand of the market"

Finally, with gasoline prices continuing to rise, the American commuter is rediscovering public transit. Of course they are driving to the station but it's a start!

This is another reason why the McCain-Clinton idea of a "gas tax holiday" is such a bad idea. As I have suggested before if anything the tax rate should be raised progressively over time to perhaps a dollar a gallon or more and the additional funds ring fenced for mass transit projects and alternative, renewable energy research.

"I SAID I'M ON THE PLANE!"

The airplane's position as the last refuge from the intrusion of the ubiquitous mobile phone is lost, in the EU at least.

What a relief!

Having sent all of your bags to a warehouse in Milano, irrespective of your destination, British Airways expects the chaos surrounding the opening of Heathrow's terminal 5 to be resolved by Saturday when normal chaos will be resumed.

Have you just flown out of Heathrow Terminal 5?

Are you still looking for your bags?

You want to check out this warehouse in Milano. (What a complete and utter fuck up.)

Kudos where kudos are (is?) due

A virtual tip of the Yank in London hat to BAA and its new, shiny yet controversial Terminal 5 at Heathrow. They have managed to arrange for a serious baggage delay almost before they had any bags to delay! Well done everyone. I think you should head off for an overpriced pint in one of the terminal's ersatz pubs before actually working on resolving the problem.

Another brilliant idea

Guns on planes. I particularly like the in depth analysis by Greg Alter of the US Air Marshall Service:

"We know that there was never any danger to the aircraft or to the occupants on board."

Dear Mr. Alter if you do not know that statement to be completely and utterly false you are clearly unqualified for whatever position you hold at FAMS and if you know the statement to be clearly and utterly false are clearly unqualified to hold that position, although you might wish to seek out a position in the White House press office. A gun went off in a plane carrying 124 passengers, possibly at altitude. Of course there was danger to both the aircraft and the passengers. The fact that this danger was not realised does not mead it did not exist, got it?

Why commercial pilots shouldn't have a sense of adventure

(Or in this case ex-pilot.) It is not a good idea to buzz an airport's control tower in a passenger jet, especially if the airline's chairman is safely tucked away in first class.

Schadenfreude alert

There is nothing more ridiculous than the sight of an enormous 4x4 (aka "Chelsea tractor") attempting to navigate its way through the streets of inner, or even outer, London. So "Red" Ken Livingstone has my whole-hearted support in his plans for £25 (50 USD) a day congestion charge on these extravagant behemoths.

Note to Americans: you will see that he is running on his record of "a popular left-wing, reforming administration that has pursued groundbreaking policies in major areas such as equalities, the congestion charge, aiding the less well-off with cheap transport [and] climate change". What are the chances of that happening in America anymore?

I take back all the bad things I ever said about British Rail*

I have lived here long enough to constantly whinge about the state of the rail service; a service that I first thought was brilliant when I first moved here. I have subsequently experienced proper rail service in France, Germany, the Netherlands and even Italy. Despite the inadequacies that we have to live with every day I don't think British Rail has ever stranded a half a million passengers in one station!

*Note: British Rail hasn't existed for years but the term is still used to generically complain about the privatised chaos that is the "system" of railways left behind by Maggie.

What will they think of next?

Has this ever been done before? A ship crossing the Atlantic powered solely by a sail kite?

From the Department of "Did Anyone Notice"

An actual headline from the International Herald Tribune: "Heathrow airport temporarily paralyzed after crash landing".

Well so long as it is only temporary!

Today in infamy - special British commuters Hell edition

On this day in 1863 the first section of London's Underground, Paddington to Farrington, opened. By this date in 2063 all of these first travellers are expected to have reached their destination.

Quelle surprise!

NASA has finally released the data related to its airline safety survey that it has previously withheld because it believed that actually knowing how unsafe the American airline industry is would make Americans unwilling to fly thereby endangering the bloated salaries and obscene bonuses of airline executives damaging the American economy. There is one wee detail that you should know however. NASA has heavily redacted the release and the data are not in a format that is conducive to analysis. A true, blue Bush administration performance that they should be proud of don't you think?

Your attention please!

A completely fair and balanced study from the American Beverage Institute has concluded that sobriety checkpoints are bad for your and make for a boring Xmas. I hope that helps but take the train anyway.

In praise of the House of Lords

I generally don't have much good to say about Britain's upper house but I think even libertarians will agree with me that it is an appropriate role of government to ensure that budget airlines provide adequate leg room for passengers and the Lords is trying to use its powers to do just that!

This probably wouldn't have happened if Ryanair didn't charge 2 Euros to use the loo!

Two Irish teenagers are under arrest in Dublin after been taken off a Ryanair flight to Brussels after one of them walked to the back off the plane and took a piss whilst the plane was taxing for takeoff. The teenagers were not Muslim and therefore are not to be charged with "travelling whilst Muslim".

Please form an orderly queue

Planning on travelling over the Xmas holidays? This list of America's slowest airport security might provide some assistance when make that ever difficult airport choice.

It's hard to believe that Philly only managed a tie for 10th. The nine ahead of it must be truly awful.

To think that I remember when it was all shiny and new!

Philly can't help but get bad press can it? The latest thing to be blamed on the city is any air traffic delay anywhere in America.