An object lesson?

Last Wednesday, the 13th, was the 168th anniversary of an event that should, but probably will not, serve as a not so gentle reminder to both the US and the UK that Afghanistan is a place where empires go to die.

On the 6th of January 1842 roughly 4500 British soldiers and around 12,000 of their camp followers left Kabul with the intent of retreating to Hindustan. On 13 January, seven days later, one man, an Irish Doctor by the name of William Brydon arrived in Jalahalabad. No other survivors were ever recorded.

Perhaps we shall learn but I suspect we will not.

Shooting fish in a barrel

Over at Global Politician one Professor Barry Rubin tries to demonstrate his in depth knowledge of the Middle East by dissecting an argument made by a "young man" about that critical Middle Eastern country, Afghanistan; a country separated from the "Middle East" by hundreds of miles, if not more.

Now that Governor Palin has...

....declared victory in Iraq one can only assume that we need a new war to keep us occupied and, by Jove, it seems we might have one. Perhaps this trouble is on the Iraq - Pakistan border. Maybe we should ask Senator McCain.

First came the surge...

...now comes the (Sssh)urge as Captain Codpiece slips an additional handful of troops into Afghanistan.

"Running for the shelter of a mother's little helpful"

Despite record opium crops in Afghanistan, thanks to the Eternal Global War on Terra, there seems to be a shortage of heroin on Britain's streets and junkies are increasingly turning to diazepam (aka Valium) to get by. The question I want to know the answer to is "where the hell is all the opium going?". Have they found a way to turn into to Oxycontin to feedc to Rush Limbaugh or something?

Godless UN attempting to destroy America

Officials from the United Nations Assistance Mission for Afghanistan say they have convincing evidence that at least 90 Afghan civilians, including 60 children, were killed in a US bombing run which, from the cozy confines of Crawford (TX) Middle School, highly paid prevaricator deputy sub-assistant Presidential spokesmodel Tony Fratto described as a "good strike". Mr. Fratto went on to say that "NATO forces...take every precaution to try to avoid innocent civilian casualties" so one can only imagine the carnage if we weren't so bloody careful.

Back to hearts and minds

There are reports out of Afghanistan, although you would hardly know it if you rely on US news sources, that a US air strike has killed over 70 civilians, many of them children, in Herat province. Afghan President Hamid Karzai has condemned the attacks by his American masters allies claiming that the strikes had led to nothing but civilian death and destruction.

Bad to worse

Whilst there is moderately good news from Iraq with continuing declines in violence the story from Afghanistan, the war the press forget, just keeps getting worse; especially if you are a Marine.

Now this could prove more than a wee bit tricky

Should Afghanistan launch military strikes against Afghanistan, as threatened by the Afghan President, whose side will the US be on. Afghanistan's? Pakistan's? Neither? Both?

Is Laura Bush a terrorist or just trying to sell doughnuts?

The soon to be ex-First Lady is visiting Afghanistan to let us know how well things aren't going there. But what is that around her neck? I, for one, am suspicious but I shall let others claim the credit!

Brace yourselves

There is a tsunami of righteous outrage headed our just as soon as certain people find out that single American soldiers are to be allowed to sex in Afghanistan AND are to be provided with condoms to make it only slightly less unsafe (if you believe the administrations "statistics" on condom use).

Well no one said no permanent prisons, did they?

The US is planning to build a huge new prison at Bagram (Afghanistan) to accommodate between 600 and 1,100 American prisoners. Some of the prisoners at the current facility, where there have been many unresolved accusations of mistreatment and torture, have been held without charge for over five years.

Perhaps this is the "double Guantánamo" that Gov. Romney got so excited about.

In which I reluctantly admit that Captain Codpiece is a genius

How else to explain the sequence of events that begins with Our Great Leader, instead of urging Americans to conserve energy, suggests that growing energy is this answers to fuel shortages and climate change. This then leads to rapidly rising food prices; they are also driven by increasing population and poor weather. The price of food skyrockets so rapidly that Afghan farmers switch from opium to wheat thereby solving both the problems of the narco-economy in Afghanistan and driving many addicts to give up their drugs! We still have to work out how these millions of ex-junkies will be able to afford to eat but I'm sure he has a plan for that up his sleeves!

Feeling safer yet?

The US government's General Accounting Office does think you should. The title of their report?

"The United States Lacks a Comprehensive Plan to Destroy the Terrorist Threat and Close the Safe Haven in Pakistan's Federally Administered Tribal Areas."

I don't think I'll even bother reading it!

Is our "allies" learning?

Clearly the mentoring process that sees the mature, free and beyond criticism democracy that is the United States of America assisting the young "democracies" in Iraq and Afghanistan in moving toward true freedom is working. Former detainees of US forces are now meeting "justice" in the form of secret trials conducted by the Afghan government some of them lasting only 10 minutes.

It is a thing of beauty when a plan comes together.

Perhaps they should issue these to journalists (or non-US members of the UN Security Council)

The Pentagon is planning to issue hand held lie detectors to US troops in Iraq and Afghanistan so that they will be able to tell when the duplicitous Muslims are taking the piss.

Uh oh, the Captain isn't going to like this!

British Defence Secretary Des Browne quite sensibly notes that there is benefit in talking to the Taliban. One suspects that his undoubtedly less sensible US counterpart doesn't agree.

Praise the Lord and sell the ammunition!

It's good to see that Captain Codpiece is still running the government like a poorly run business; after all consistency is important. Last year the Pentagon awarded a 300 million USD contract to supply ammunition to Afghanistan to a 22 year old masseur with a criminal record. Said masseur subsequently provided 40 year old ammunition in decomposed packaging.

Better than working for tips, eh?

You're welcome!

If you are looking for coverage of last week's Winter Soldier and having trouble finding it on America's corporate media maybe you should look to the BBC. Auntie, thanks to the British television licence fee payer (me!), is covering the event. You can thank me later.

Progress report

I shall note without comment that Sudanese officials are predicting that the conflict in Darfur will become "another Iraq or Afghanistan disaster" if talks between the government and the rebels remain deadlocked.