Shooting fish in a barrel

Over at Global Politician one Professor Barry Rubin tries to demonstrate his in depth knowledge of the Middle East by dissecting an argument made by a "young man" about that critical Middle Eastern country, Afghanistan; a country separated from the "Middle East" by hundreds of miles, if not more.

Today in "you gotta be fucking kidding me"

Former British Premier St. Tony Blair has won a prestigious $1,000,000 dollar prize for global leadership. I am certain the fact that it is awarded by a university in Tel Aviv will do wonders for his status as an honest broker in the Middle East.

Well, at least we're fucking rid of him!

Is Iraq a sovereign country?

If so perhaps someone in the Iraqi government could tell us who in the government authorised the US to violate Syrian sovereignty from Iraqi soil with a raid that either killed some dangerous evil doers or some not so dangerous construction workers depending on who you believe. Perhaps Captain Codpiece just wanted to stick something into the hornet's nest one last time before he retires to his country estate.

Let them eat gefilte fish!

Things are hotting up in the Middle East again as the Lebanese demand that the Israelis stop stop trying to claim hummus and falafel as their own. The question on everyone's mind is whether the US will allow Israel to launch military strikes into Lebanon to stamp out this contagion.

Yet another terrorist attack on US soil

At least sixteen people have died in an attack on the US embassy in Sannaa, Yemen. As embassies are the sovereign territory of the US this represents yet another terrorist attack on US soil since 11 September 2001; as opposed to the "none" that American right wingers like to throw about.

You've been Condi-ed

It must be tough being the US Secretary of State, at least at the moment. It seems that Israeli announcers use Ms. Rice's name as a verb to describing going "endlessly around in circles, accomplishing nothing".

So why'd he go a begging then?

Captain Codpiece stopped in Riyadh the other day on his Legacy '08 Tour to beg the Saudis to increase their oil output so that Americans don't have to give up their Hummers. Despite some hand holding, genuflection and arse licking the Saudis said know. But Captain Codpiece knows how to spin these things, or at least his evil minions do. Now he says that the Saudis raising their output do any good. [Subliminal message: "Drill in ANWR! Drill in ANWR!"]

How do you say "no can do George" in Arabic?

Captain Codpiece's Legacy '08 Tour touched down in Riyadh yesterday where he planned to hold hands with some princes and to beg for oil. He left empty handed. So far this trip has failed to live up even the practically non-existent expectations that existed on his departure. So it's on to Cairo where the President is expected to ask to meet with Cleopatra.

We write letters

Dear Mr. President,

As an American who has lived in Europe for the past fifteen years I often find myself in the position of having to try to explain or defend either the policy of my government or the statements of its leaders to my friends and colleagues. Your comments yesterday before the Knesset in Israel, in your role as America’s head of state and the country’s chief diplomat, have led to a flurry of communications from those I know well ranging from simple requests for an explanation of your intent to expressions of outrage.

You and I are roughly of the same generation as are many of my European friends and acquaintances. As such they have lived through a period in which Europe was recovering from and rebuilding in the aftermath of the Second World War and therefore they understand, in a way neither of us can, the price paid for appeasement. Even though many of these people speak English as a second (or third or fourth) language they cannot understand your apparent confusion between the concept of negotiation and acts of appeasement.

It is not appeasement to talk to one’s enemies. It only becomes so if one one-sidedly accedes to their demands. If there is no conversation between sides in opposition there is only one means left to resolve their differences; violence and war. Certainly we all agree that in any and all circumstances acts of war must be a final and ultimately regrettable resort and that to engage in war is an expression of our failure as human beings.

In addition to the many concerns and queries of my friends and colleagues, which I find I am unable to adequately address, I find several other aspects of your remarks to be of great concern.

First of all it seems to many of us that your poorly worded statements appear to be a direct attack on Senator Obama, a Democratic candidate for President and the probable nominee of that party. In your remarks to the Knesset on the occasion of the sixtieth anniversary of the founding of the state of you were acting in your role as head of state and representing all of the American people. This attack, if it was intended as such, was inappropriate in that role and it was especially unbefitting as your were speaking on foreign soil; soil whose status is in dispute. There can be no adequate explanation for your misuse of such a forum. If you intended these comments to be directed at Senator Obama you must retract them forthwith and apology. If you did not intend the Senator as a target you must explain to whom your statement was directed and why.

Secondly choosing the occasion of a speech on the anniversary of the state of Israel to launch such an attack, whilst inexplicably failing to talk about peace and the painful concessions that will be required of all sides in order to achieve a lasting peace, will allow some parties to the conflict to legitimately dismiss you and your administration as honest brokers in the search for resolution and peace for all of the peoples in Israel and Palestine.

I hope that you have already taken the opportunity to reconsider your remarks. If not, I hope that this missive may prod you to do so. I am certain that you will, given time to reflect, realise that damage has been done by these statements; damage to the peace process between the state of Isreal and the Palestinian people, damage to America’s stature in the world and damage to the American political process. I trust once you recognise this that you will urgently take steps to undo this damage to the extent that it is still possible.

Sincerely,

Yank in London

Crossing the line

One would think with all of that fancy-dancy elitist Ivy League education behind him that Captain Codpiece would at least be aware of the difference between appeasement and negotiation. One would be wrong! I guess G.H.W. Bush pissed all that money down the drain.

This thinly veiled attack on Senator Obama also ignores the fact that his own Secretary of Defense has called for talks between the US and Iran and that his own government has spent considerable time negotiating with appeasing state sponsors of terror in Tripoli and Pyongyang.

Despite the clear inaccuracy of his intended point it is also well beyond the pale to use the forum of a speech, in his role as head of state, to a foreign parliament to embark on issues related to domestic politics. It also makes clear that he has no intent to act as an honest broker in the middle east thereby eliminating any slim chance that there might have been to see any progress towards peace during the thankfully short remainder of his term.

Somehow I doubt that will bother him much. After all peacemakers don't wear codpieces!

"Cause he's got low hopes" (♬)

Captain Codpiece's Legacy '08 Tour is off and running after a brief hiatus. This time he's headed back to the Middle East where hopes are low that his presence will be of any use (other than to make other unpopular politicians look better).

King Abdullah's big surprise!

Largely unnoticed by the western media Saudi monarch King Abdullah has recently stated that he has ordered some new oil discoveries to remain unexplored and unexploited in order to retain some wealth for future generations of Saudi princes!

He doesn't really believe that it is actually HIS oil, does he?

We shall be greeted as liberators!

80% of the population of the Arab world have a negative view of the United States according to a Zogby/University of Maryland poll. This negative view extends to Arab governments that have American support.

Just like we planned it, eh?

Will all roads lead to Bandar?

The British High Court has ruled that the Serious Fraud Office (and the government of Tony Blair) was negligent in halting a corruption inquiry into dealings between British merchant of death BAE Systems and the Saudis. Gordon Brown is now under heavy pressure to re-institute the investigation in which Captain Codpiece's good buddy Saudi Prince Bandar is likely to figure prominently. Let's hope it gets underway soon. In the meantime BAE's shares are taking a pounding.

Prepare for the Rapture!

The Anti-Christ US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney is headed for the Middle East. I reckon that on its own that ought to do it but apparently he wants to talk about attacking Iran whilst he's there.

The Captain hits the crack pipe!

I forgot to mention this the other day: A unkempt and clearly disoriented Captain Codpiece emerged from a boarded up house in the worst part of the nation's capital to announce the middle east peace is just around the corner. Following this surprising statement he quickly scored a couple of rocks and disappeared inside.

The words we choose

There is little doubt that Imad Mougnieh, murdered by a car bomb in Damascus yesterday, was not a good man or an upstanding human being but to suggest, as US State Department spokesman Sean McCormack has, that Mougnieh has been "brought to justice", tells us that Mr. McCormack, and his supervisors need to spend some time curled up with an English dictionary. Let us review the various definitions of justice to see if we can determine which of these finds appropriate for an act of murder, shall we?

1. "the maintenance or administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments b: judge c: the administration of law; especially : the establishment or determination of rights according to the rules of law or equity" - clearly this is a NO
2. "the quality of being just, impartial, or fair b (1): the principle or ideal of just dealing or right action (2): conformity to this principle or ideal : righteousness c: the quality of conforming to law" - once again a big NO
3. "conformity to truth, fact, or reason" - probably NO (although it is clear that Mr. McCormack and his superiors are absolutely convinced of their own rightness)

Whatever may be said about the end of Mougnieh, (murder, terrorism, retribution, vengeance), it was not an act of justice.

Why did she do it? (For Phil-del-phuns only)

Why did Philly's former "glamorous" news anchor try to isolate the Middle East off from the internet?

Actual headline: "Abandoned Anchor Cut Gulf Internet Cable"

He has a gift

Captain Codpiece's ever so brief visit to Egypt during his recent Legacy 08 Tour has served to worsen relations between Washington and Cairo. Can someone help me? I can't think of anything that he has touched, at least recently, that hasn't turned into a complete pile of shite. Is there anything I've forgotten?

But the taps ARE open

Has Captain Codpiece let the cat out of the bag re OPEC's lack of additional capacity?

Remember you heard it hear first.