Well we all knew he was a scumbag

I just didn't realise that being a scumbag would be quite so lucrative for poor old Tony. This goes past champagne socialism to pure-Peruvian-flake socialism.

Today in "you gotta be fucking kidding me"

Former British Premier St. Tony Blair has won a prestigious $1,000,000 dollar prize for global leadership. I am certain the fact that it is awarded by a university in Tel Aviv will do wonders for his status as an honest broker in the Middle East.

Well, at least we're fucking rid of him!

And the truth shall set you free...

Lord Bingham, a highly respected former Lord Chief Justice, has broken the omertà surrounding Lord Goldsmith's advice to then PM St. Tony Blair over the (illegal) invasion of Iraq and made the rather bold statement that this act by the US and the UK was a "serious violation of international law"; a statement that, if true, would seem to mean that St. Tony, Captain Codpiece and any number of those around them could be considered war criminals.

Then they're not worth saving

According to a poll conducted for The Independent only the return of St. Tony Blair as leader could save the Labour Party from defeat at the next election.

In that case "so long it's been good to know you" as far as I am concerned.

Follow the Blair

Now this is weird. The Independent is reporting rumours surfacing in Rome that Captain Codpiece might convert to Catholicism just like his ex-poodle St. Tony Blair. I don't think the right wing fundamentalists will be too happy with the idea.

The Republican case for impeachment now!

Clearly Captain Codpiece is a Red agent determined to bring down America (and doing a bang up job so far)! How do I know this? There is an interview with St. Tony Blair's wife Cherie in today's Guardian in which she states quite clearly that both she and her husband, the former British PM and Bush bum buddy, ARE SOCIALISTS. How many times did they sleep in the White House? How many times were this treacherous pair lauded in the right wing American press and broadcast media? How deep does the rot go?

Clearly Bush must be impeached now before he succeeds in turning America into Cuba!

(It should be noted that St. Tony and Cherie are champagne drinking, country estate owning socialists.)

Cherie we hardly knew ye!

The British press this week has been full of utter rubbish startling revelations mined from Cherie Blair's forthcoming memoirs. These include her husband's shameful use of her miscarriage to avoid speculation about Iraq, the fact that someone (either her or her husband) forgot to bring the condoms (which she, as a devout Catholic, should not have been using anyway) along to a weekend at Balmoral and they ended up with Leo and that her husband just couldn't believe that Di was dead.

Her apparent disdain for confidentiality in her intimate recollections has lead to calls for her to be sacked as a judge by prominent members of the legal profession including a former senior judge and a senior barrister.

I hope she isn't counting on her judgely earnings to finance her families burgeoning real estate empire.

"How I Got Preggers" by Cherie Blair

At issue is the critical question: "Did the Prime Minister forget the condoms and when did he forget them?".

Living beyond all their means?

Yesterday's papers were full of quotes from Cherie Blair's new book (due out in October) which is being serialised in The Times. The one I found most interesting talked about her anger at Gordon Brown over his refusal to accept a pay rise when first taking office as Chancellor of the Exchequer thereby forcing Mrs. Blair's hubby St. Tony to refuse his as well. The Blairs, despite St. Tony's £110K salary as PM and the missus's around £200K (not to mention the free house and other considerable perks), seemed to be unable to survive on the mere £300 grand they had incoming.

"At the first cabinet meeting of the new Labour government, the new Chancellor announced he was not going to take the salary increase and he put pressure on the others not to accept it either ... I couldn't believe it. All my calculations were based on that increase.

"I remember sitting in the kitchen at Number 10, putting my head in my hands and staring at the now completely redundant financial breakdown, as Tony tried to calm me down. I wouldn't be calmed down. How dare Gordon do that? He was a bachelor living on his own in a flat with a small mortgage."

How dare he indeed!

And speaking of how dare he-s. Today's Times reports that St. Tony rather cynically immediately announced the news of his wife's miscarriage as cover for their delayed holiday plans and to eliminate speculation that the illegal invasion of Iraq was to be pulled forward. What a bastard! But then I believe we all knew that he was, didn't we?

He must have one hell of a pension

As if they didn't own enough real estate already former British Prime Minister St. Tony Blair and his barrister wife are shelling out a neat 4 million quid to John Gielgud's old country house. I hope it makes them very unhappy.

Jail all ticket cheats!

Start with this one!

I think I'll just sit back a while and let the Schadenfreude flow over me.

Those Yalies have all the luck

St. Tony is going to start teaching them how religion can aid reconciliation and bring peace. The start of the course will be delayed until 2020 thereby giving the former British Prime Minister time to work out how religion can aid reconciliation and bring peace.

What's a lap dog to do?

His Great Eminence, former British Prime Minister and continuing Captain Codpiece succubus, St. Tony Blair is facing fierce criticism from the side that doesn't count over his failure to confront the Israelis over their illegal occupation and crimes against humanity. One wonders why they expected more.

Haven't they suffered enough?

The African Great Lakes country of Rwanda is still trying to rebuild itself following the genocidal civil war of the the 90's that saw roundabout a million deaths. Now they have St. Tony to contend with.

Calling all quid pro quos

In recompense for his six loyal years as Captain Codpiece's ever so loyal arse licker St. Tony Blair is starting to see the money roll in. Unfortunately for St. Tony given the US dollar's near total collapse the money won;t go as far as it would have done just a year ago.

Good poodle!

Less than a day after the voices in Captain Codpiece's head convinced him that there would be a lasting Middle East peace not just someday but before the end of the year up pops the head of St. Tony Blair with an enthusiastic "I think so to"!

Can beatification be far behind?

Speaking of St. Tony he has, as has been long anticipated, taken his first baby steps towards sainthood by converting to Roman Catholicism.

It ain't necessarily so

Is it possible that St. Tony lied to us (once again)? When the government quashed an investigation into BAE Systems and allegations of widespread bribery and corruption in its dealings with the Saudi government they swore to us that this was done for security purposes and not for commercial reasons. Now a previously unreleased letter between then Prime Minister St. Tony Blair and the Attorney General Lord Goldsmith rather explicitly shows that statement to be a complete and utter falsehood. And he seemed like such a nice boy.

So what's St. Tony been up to lately?

So has our former Prime Minister and Captain Codpiece's second favourite lap dog, St. Tony Blair, brought peace to the middle east as he settles into his role as a peace envoy. Well, sadly, no. He has however managed to arrange for a special express lane to Bethlehem for Christians so that they do not have to suffer the indignities that the unfortunate but sub-human Palestinians have to in order to pass from the illegally occupied territories into Israel. This is especially important at this time of year as the Christmases of these wealthy and predominately white "pilgrims" should not have to be ruined by their have to look on the suffering of others. This approach will obviously be effective as we all know that in order to be truly evil one must be either Muslim or brown; preferably Muslim and brown.

Clearly St. Tony is thinking inside the box.

Arise St. Tony

Former British PM Tony Blair is to convert to Roman Catholicism in time for the holidays! His change of faith has been long rumoured but he avoided the switch whilst premier as there is a lot of bad Catholic history in Britain. It is legal for the PM to be a Catholic but not for the Monarch or anyone in the royal succession including their spouses.