Elsewhere in good news...

...the unelected House of Lords has come to the aid of the British people by forcing Gordo to abandon his plans for 42 day detention without charge. One small step for freedom...

"Don't even think about it! Gordo"

The European leg of Captain Codpiece's Legacy '08 Tour ends in London tomorrow and he's come will all guns blazing as he warns our beleaguered Prime Minister againstwithdrawing troops from Iraq. He also paints himself as a Simón Bolívar for the 21st century as he claims that he has liberated "50 million people from the clutches of barbaric regimes", possibly single-handed. He also threatens to write a book.

He is clearly a man capable of extraordinary self-delusion.

Gordo makes some new friends

Gordon Brown may have to rely on Tory support to resist reopening the SFO inquiry into the fraudulent arms deal between merchants of death, BAE Systems, and the Saudi government. Many Labour backbenchers and the Lib Dems are calling for the investigation to move forward following the High Court ruling that the cancellation of the inquiry was not legal.

Gee - this didn't take long

With no apparent sense of irony British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has warned Zimbabwean "President" Robert Mugabe that his patience in running out. In reply "President" Mugabe noted that PM Brown is just "a little tiny dot on this planet". Back to you Gordo.

God 1 - Gordon 0

The Prime Minister has backed down, at least at bit, and will allow MPs a "free vote" over parts of the proposed embryo bill. This "free vote" will of course be nothing of the kind as Labour back benchers will simply trade the New Labour whip for the whip of their church and will vote as ordered or risk damnation. Fortunately as the UK is not the US in all likelihood the bill will pass anyway. If not it will be a loss for Britain and a win for a dead and decaying God.

A pat on the back for Gordo

Cabinet ministers have been ordered to cease and desist externalising the greenhouse effects of government projects and will have to calculate and consider the carbon cost of all government initiatives. This will have the effect of favouring renewal ables over the use of fossil fuels but will also add some impetus to nuclear efforts.

Interim report card - Must Poodle Better

Captain Codpiece and his minions are decidedly unhappy with Prime Minister Gordon Brown's refusal to be as good as St. Tony was at grabbing his ankles and enjoying the ride.

"We're still mates, right?"

Our Prime Minister will spend sometime kissing the arse of my President tonight when he gives the annual Mansion House foreign policy speech and will promise to try to be a better poodle even if he will never be able to live up to the poodling standard set by his predecessor, St. Tony Blair.

I'm sure it was just an oversight

Our bold and serious Prime Minister accidentally forgot to mention human rights when he had a wee chat with Saudi King Abdullah. I would imagine that bribery in arms sales didn't come up either. What did they talk about then? Horses? Women? Their plans for the weekend?

The future's bright, the future's Brown

Sometime this weekend we should expect British Prime Minister Gordon Brown to wake up and say to the missus: "I love the smell of ballots in the morning, they smell like victory". Then the fun is on.