My hero!!!!

You may have noticed, or perhaps not, that I have still not dropped my endorsement of Dennis Kucinich for President in 2008. I have two reasons for this. One, he is the candidate who consistently came closest to my own thinking and two, he is, unlike many of America's craven politicians, a man of courage. He has officially entered into the House 35 counts of impeachment against Our Great Leader George W. Bush, aka Captain Codpiece.

Now it is up to Pelosi and I reckon we all know what that means. Nonetheless it had to be down.

In case you missed any of it

The Democratic primary process in eight minutes courtesy of Slate.

Does this make me gay?

I love Ute Lemper, especially when she sings Kurt Weil. Unfortunately I'm unlikely to be in New York in October.

Dear Captain Codpiece,

I have some summer reading for you. It's only a magazine article so it will still leave you time to read More of My Pet Goat. This weekend's Guardian included a little primer from Jimmy Carter on how to be an ex-President. I thought it might prove useful for you. Maybe you'll manage one of those Nobel thingies!

Shorter Grant Swank

Atheists (and agnostics and Muslims and Hindus and Buddhists and Sikhs and Taoists and Confucians and Bahá'ís and animists) aren't real Americans.

Sorry Grant but you're wrong. I reckon you must be used to that by now.

Let me preface this by saying...

...that as a man I do not know, and will never know, what it is like to give birth to a baby but I think I can state with great certainly that giving birth to a sumo baby would not be a walk in the park. That is all.

Why they hate us for our freedoms

There is no doubt that the Islamofacistbastards hate America and I can clearly demonstrate why using this simple but persuasive example from, (where else?), Texas. In the city of Dallas there is a rundown thoroughfare known as Industrial Boulevard. The city council would like to rename it as part of redevelopment plans so the city council sponsors a poll to find out what the people of Dallas would like to call it. The people of Dallas firmly and unequivocally say "César Chávez Boulevard".

The city council responds by saying "you didn't think that was a real poll, did you". It's just we have some friends in the polling business and we wanted to throw some money their way.

Why does no one ever answer me?

I ask and ask and ask and yet no one can explain to me who these 28% of Americans are who still approve of the performance of Captain Codpiece nor does anyone bother to tell me what is wrong with them. I beg of you please. I need answers!

Is Laura Bush a terrorist or just trying to sell doughnuts?

The soon to be ex-First Lady is visiting Afghanistan to let us know how well things aren't going there. But what is that around her neck? I, for one, am suspicious but I shall let others claim the credit!

Holidaying in America?

Whatever you do don't eat tomatoes. It really is slipping into the third world and not too slowly either.

Uh oh, I don't think he cleared this with the neo-cons!

Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al Maliki has displayed incredible hubris by daring to act as the head of government of a sovereign nation and assured Iran that Iraqi territory would never be used to attack Iran. At best he's going to get a stern talking to and at worst...

It's not such a problem if you live on a hill...

...but there are literally billions of people world wide, living in low lying areas, who are at great risk from climate change and rising sea levels. The residents of the Oceanic nation Kiribati are perhaps foremost amongst them. The country's president, Anote Tong, believes that his nation will soon disappear and has asked for assistance in evacuation and resettlement. I have no doubt that American immigration will treat them fairly after deciding that they are economic refugees who are just using the fact that their country now longer exists to gain access to the wide range of minimum wage jobs available in America's service industry.

I thought I might share this with you

Yesterday's Independent on Sunday carried an opinion piece by Sarah Churchwell about Barack Obama and his chances for victory in November. It is thoughtful and well worth a read but I don't mention it for that. I mention it because the following quote highlights the much more sensible policies of all of the major British papers towards the use of obscenity in print. Ms. Churchwell, in discussing Senator McCain's character has the following to say:

"I would put nothing past a man who, it has been alleged and not denied, has called his own wife a cunt."

The use of the justifiably reviled "C" word in this case is not gratuitous. How can one possibly discuss the (alleged) incident without using the word? The American press would simply report, had they not already chosen to ignore the accusation, that "McCain cursed his wife" or "McCain called his wife an expletive". Neither of those does justice to what may, or may not, have occurred between the two. If it is duty of the press to report then they must report, and report truthfully, including the use of often offensive language when it is necessary and germane to the story.

Well what the hell else are they good for?

Evel's kid Robbie jumped over 21 apparently abandoned Hummers in Texas at the weekend. I reckon that counts as news somewhere.

It's not really what I expect from IHoP

They sure know how to have a good time down in Louisiana so no one should be surprised that the International House of Pancakes Prayer in Shreveport celebrated the coming of summer with a good old fashioned book burning. After throwing Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and, for good measure, some porn into the conflagration one Adriane Banks is quoted as saying:

"As I tore the pages, I felt a generational curse of immorality and perversion breaking off my family...I felt it."

Like I said they sure know how to have a good time down there.

You had better get used to it

As the US dollar's value plummets the United States is no longer the market of first choice for multi-nationals as Nintendo's decision to send four times as many Wii Fit units to Europe as compared to American in order to maximise profits.

Now repeat after me - "shareholder value, shareholder value, shareholder value". See. I' certain that you feel better already.

All Bill Moyers, all the time

At forty minutes it is rather long for our sound bite age but I think you will enjoy Bill Moyers's speech to the National Conference on Media Reform at the weekend.

Should I cancel my haircut appointment?

According to Texas prophet Yisrayl "Buffalo Bill" Hawkins doomsday will happen next Thursday or sooner in the form of a nuclear war starting in the region of the Euphrates River. Please don't tell Captain Codpiece. I'd rather he didn't start getting any ideas.

So who the hell wants it then?

Parliament is due to debate and vote on the proposed new 42 day internment detention limit this week. Yesterday Home Secretary Jacqui Smith admitted that MI5 has not asked for these new powers simply saying that the ghostly security service has said that the "scale of the threat" is growing. Today The Guardian also reports that at least four of the nations top police executives are attacking the plans saying that it will damage the reputation of the police, damage the police forces' relations with the Muslim community that is clearly the target and lead to pressures to manufacture evidence against those held without charge.

Gordon, I think you're hanging your hat on the wrong peg.

Have you heard about it yet, Numb Nuts?

Remember that press conference about three months ago when Captain Codpiece was surprised when a reporter suggested that gasoline could shortly be hitting $4 a gallon?

"That's interesting. I hadn't heard that."

Well it seems that it happened yesterday.

Note to Americans: 4 USD a US gallon still sounds terribly cheap to me.

Isn't there a crime here or are we no longer a "nation of laws"?

The Pentagon explicitly urged interrogators at the Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Resort to destroy any and all notes relating to the interrogation and treatment of prisoners in case they were called to testify. I'm sure that the Department of Justice will get right on this.

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 41: he seems to think he's Baldrick. At least he seems to think that he has a "cunning plan" that will seem him winning 25% of the black vote and sprinting to victory in November.

It's good to laugh, innit?

Goodbye and good riddance

Captain Codpiece's extended Legacy '08 Tour visits Europe this week and there doesn't seem to be anyone who is sad to see him go. Bless.

Out-Fauxed!

A producer from Bill-O O'Reilly's show tries, and fails, to ambush Bill Moyers. The young, eager and annoying Porter Barry* was trying to fight well out of his class.



*Is it just me or does "Porter Barry" sound like a name that could only come from a family deeply immersed in the East Coast, old money, intellectual elite that Bill-o and those of his despicable ilk so like to scorn?

Whose oil do they think it is anyway?

The Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries has found no reason to pump more oil despite the hardships being encountered by God-fearing, Hummer driving, McMansion living Americans. Do we have to invade them all?

Note: towards the end of the article you will find a quote from the head of Libya's National Oil Corporation, Shokri Ghanem:

"The easy, cheap oil is over...Peak oil is looming."

Is this first time an OPEC member has publicly used the term "peak oil"?

This can only be good news

The McCain campaign is, so far at least, failing miserably with Ohio Republicans and it doesn't take a genius to know that whichever candidate wins at least two of Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania is probably going to win the Presidency.

But we stole it fair and square!

I think Captain Codpiece is going soft in his (thankfully) final months in office. The US Park Service is considering returning half of the Badlands National Park to the Ogala Sioux. Clearly there is no oil there. Just don't anyone start thinking that this is any kind of precedent, OK?

Well it is an interesting conceit

It seems that The Aged One's campaign has decided that an Obama presidency would represent a third Bush term. Well given that 10% of Americans think Obama is a Muslim means that anything might work.

Gone-zo goes temping!

Former US Attorney General Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales hasn't found a real job since his resignation in disgrace sometime ago. He has however found a part time, temporary job that should tide him over until some wealthy "friend" takes pity on him.

For your listening pleasure

Somehow this Jackson Browne tune still seems oddly topical.