This Stella's for you!!

I wonder if the takeover of Anheuser Busch by Belgian brewers InBev will mean America's favourite beer will eventually become drinkable. In any case I think Americans should be prepared for the purchase of more of the country's crown jewels by Europeans and others as the value of the dollar slips away into oblivion. I wouldn't worry about any of the car manufacturers being gobbled up though. After all who would want them.

I don't suppose anyone notified you but...

...last weekend there was yet another terrorist attack on American soil, this time in the form of a firebomb attack on the US consulate in Okinawa. Fortunately no one was injured.

Even if it walks like a timetable...

...and talks like a timetable I wouldn't be worried that it is actually a timetable. It's probably just an election!

In related news....

...the headline most likely to be misinterpreted in Britain: "Fannie Plan a Disaster". If, as an American, you don't understand why this is likely to be misinterpreted I offer you this advice. Should you ever come to Britain on holiday and your four year old girl starts misbehaving in the airport whatever you do don't tell her "if you don't behave I'm going to spank your fanny". If you do you are likely to have a long, and potentially unpleasant, chat with the local constabulary.

America goes socialist....

...and the socialists approve. I wonder how the American taxpayer feels as the owner of two new banks!

Pro-life irony

The fervently pro-life Bush administration has materially lowered the value of a human life. I shit you not.

Things to do this afternoon

1) Pop round the bookies and put £50 on oil to hit $200 a barrel before Captain Codpiece checks out!

For those of you who still doubt that Captain Codpiece is nothing but an immature, spoiled, elitist frat boy...

...I give you his goodbye "joke" to the G8.

Please pay attention I'm only going to say this once!

Americans do not have a God given right to cheap petrol and praying to God for cheap petrol is a useless exercise. If She really is God She surely has more important things to do and if She isn't God She won't be able to do anything! Got it?

If Jesus was an ice cream what flavour would he be?

Spumoni apparently! I don't know about you but I really can't see this one at all.

R.I.P.

I was certainly never a fan of enabler par excellence Tony Snow but it is nonetheless sad that he has succumbed to cancer at the tender age of 53.

Are all Republi-cons ho-mo-sexual?

Here we go again the Internets are buzzing with the story that virulently anti-gay (and anti-sex toy) Alabama Attorney General Troy King was caught by his undoubtedly-soon-to-be-ex-wife in flagrante delicto with his male aid. There is no word as to whether there was a sex toy involved as well.

Someone ring Interpol!

International fugitive from justice Karl Rove has defied a Congressional subpoena and fled the country!

If it walks like a timetable...

...and talks like a timetable it's probably a timetable. The Iraqi government has indicated that they will not accept any security deal with the US without a timetable for cutting and running withdrawal! Why do they want the evil doers to win and why don't they want ExxonMobil to have their oil?

It can't happen here!!!

Or maybe it can. The American FBI is considering changes to its rules that would allow it to investigate Americans without any evidence of a crime solely on the basis of their religion or ethnicity. Of course since the religion in question isn't Christianity and the ethnicity isn't pasty and white I am certain that the American right will love the idea!

Hero of the day

L.F. Eason III of Raleigh NC gave up the only job that he had ever had rather than lower the US flag to "honour" racist pig Jesse Helms.

Show him some love!

So much for "no terrorist attacks on American soil"

Because embassies and consulates ARE AMERICAN SOIL. I thought you should know.

And the incompetence continues!

Let's get tough on Iran by ensuring that, during the reign of Captain Codpiece, US trade with Iran increased 10 fold! Well done everyone.

Finally after 7.5 years Captain Codpiece and his evil minions get something right!

And then fucking go and apologise for it! After the White House gave out a biographic sketch of Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi, lifted directly from the Encyclopedia of World Biography, that quite truthfully states, and I paraphrase here, that Berlusconi is a sleazy and corrupt opportunist (with a fetish for giving himself immunity from prosecution as soon as he gets into office).

Well I have a few words for deputy White House spokesmodel Tony Fratto the bio that you released may not reflect the opinion of Our Great Leader or the US government but they certainly reflect the opinion of any American who has any grasp of what is happening in the wider world! You, Mr. Fratto, do not speak for me!

Where are the statisticians?

Wolf Blitzer and CNN do an adequate job of showing us where the liars are (as if we didn't know)!

The angrier I get

The more I think about Captain Codpiece's latest little lie to us the angrier I get. This lie, and the consequences of his obfuscation will probably lead to more deaths than the illegal invasion of Iraq and orders of magnitudes more than the undoubtedly tragic attacks of 11 September 2001. The ever increasing price of food, which we now know is driven largely by America's shift to subsidised bio-fuels, is a global tragedy in the making. The poor are driven to desperation. The desperate are driven to starvation. The starving are driven to death. On his watch. Whilst he lies about and the World Bank swears to it. If he had a conscience one would wonder how he sleeps nights.

It all depends on what the meaning of "I don't know anything about economics" is

Despite copious video evidence to the contrary The Aged One is trying to claims that he has never said that he doesn't know anything about economics. I think we should given him the benefit of the doubt; at his age the first thing to go is short term memory!

Surprise! Surprise!

Captain Codpiece has been lying to us again; I assume that no one is surprised by this. Remember back when he made the specious claim that bio fuels only accounted for 3% or 4% of the rise in world food prices? Well even the World Bank knew he was lying. But as an American client, the term use of the word "world" in the bank's name is just about as appropriate as the use of the same word in "world series", the bank has been keeping it secret for Georgie doesn't get upset.

Today in Schadenfreude

The American Family Association informs us about the shameless infiltration of the US Olympic squad by ho-mo-sexuals!

We don't call it Faux News for nothing

Shame that the aren't very good with PhotoShop!

America's Christian heritage!

President Thomas Jefferson rewrote the Gospels. He essentially took out all the religion, including the resurrection, and leaving just the philosophy. I could almost live with that.

Gone but not forgiven

Former Senator and legendary racist Jesse Helms has died at the age of 86 and, no President Bush, he was not a great patriot!

Bad to worse

Whilst there is moderately good news from Iraq with continuing declines in violence the story from Afghanistan, the war the press forget, just keeps getting worse; especially if you are a Marine.

As if their skunk wasn't strong enough already

The recent Dutch smoking ban means that ones now has to smoke one's cannabis full strength rather than cut it with tobacco. I don't suppose this is going to make it any easier to get out of the coffee shop.

Goodbye and thanks for all the (ornamental) fish!*

Bureaucracy is not a science; it's an art. If you don't believe that I give you this quote from the introduction to the Intrastat Classification Nomenclature as thoughtfully provided by the UK Tariff and Statistical Office of Her Majesty's Customs and Excise:

"Another example is ornamental fish, which can, in theory, be classified under heading 0106 ('Other live animals') or heading 0301 ('Live fish'). However, on the basis of note 1a of Chapter 1 and the first sentence of general rule 3a, it is clear that ornamental fish are to be classified under heading 0301."

I am certain that you are all much relieved.

*With sincere apologies to the late, lamented and much missed Douglas Adams.