How I spent my Thanksgiving

I spent the first hour and a half of the day testing fuzzy matching algorithms and then spent the next six hours reviewing a (not quite normalised) data model. I rounded this lovely day off by watching Portsmouth fail to beat AC Milan.

I hope yours was better.

There is no joy in Whoville...

...or in Louisville for that matter as Dr. Seuss's lawyers strike. Of course it probably serves them right for thinking that they could just have a "LouWhoVille" celebration without even asking.

Unfortunately looters will not be shot on sight

Wachovia Corporation which has seen losses of over $30,000,000,000 in the last half of a year and is fleeing to the hopefully safe arms of Wells Fargo in a "merger" that was forced upon it by its dire financial position looks set to award $98,000,000 in platinum parachutes to its top ten executives should the merger go through.

The first person to say that they "earned it" gets waterboarded.

Apparently the tips ARE good!

It seems as if your mohel might be making a quid or two from recycling your sons foreskin. Waste not, want not, eh?

Mr. Darling's stealth sin tax

Those of us with the character flaws that lead us to smoke and drink were left out in the cold yesterday by the Chancellor's reduction in VAT to 15% as he increased alcohol & tobacco duty by the 2.5 percentage points necessary to offset the reduction in VAT. Anyone want to guess whether this increase is reversed when VAT rates go back up in a year's time? To quote the immortal Damon Runyon:

"The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong -- but that's the way to bet it."

He came in just under the wire

According to the BBC...

"1555: Mr Darling says VAT will be cut from 17.5 to 15% until the end of next year, coming into effect next Monday."

Sometime in the next half hour or so...

...the Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling is set to announce a reduction in the standard VAT rate from 17.5% to 15%; an announcement that will send financial controllers up and down the country, often accompanied by their sales and marketing staff, in search of their IT support staff to ask the following two questions:

"Can we deal with this in the next 6 days?"

and

"Can we do it properly?"

The answers in virtually all cases will be "probably" and "probably not".

I await the approach of my local finance folks with bated breath.

The death knell for Islam?

Rumours have it that paler-than-pale rock legend and life long weirdo Michael (now Mikaeel) Jackson has converted to Islam in Los Angeles.

Welcome to the no fly list Wacko. I don't think you're going to like it there.

They make such a lovely couple

Former publisher of the pre-eminent right wing publications the Daily Torygraph and the Jerusalem Post, and convicted felon, Baron Black of Crossharbour is begging Captain Codpiece for a pardon. This is hardly the act of the innocent man the poor Peer claims to be but then who believes him?

Today in infamy

At least the day is infamous if you are one of those who, like former US Vice Presidential nominee Sarah "Ramb-ette" Palin", believes that the planet is about 6000 years old. On this day in 1859 The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin and an anti-scientific "scientific" industry is born!

The friends we keep

The Ottawa Convention to ban land mines is ban the use of land mines is ten years old and guess who hasn't ratified or signed it? Go on. I know you can.

"Evidence? We don't need no stinkin' evidence!"

US Federal Judge Richard Leon, a rock solid conservative judge, has upset the court of Captain Codpiece by ordering the release of five more innocent men, in this case Algerians, from the Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Resort. He demanded that they be released "forthwith" which I assume means sometime after President Obama's inauguration.

Happy Birthday!

Today is the 110th birthday of surrealist painter AND famous Belgian René Magritte. All is not what it appears to be.

Today in Schadenfreude

If this video from the G20 is any indication Captain Codpiece isn't one of the cool kids anymore.

Gone but not forgotten

With her usual tastefulness Ramb-ette pardons a turkey in Alaska whilst the pardonees friends and neighbours are slaughtered in the background. I'm surprised she didn't gut one for us whilst she was at it.

Obama's not even President yet...

...and already he's destroyed America. Curiously the dangerous and unabashedly leftist NY Times fails to mention the decline of American influence in it's headline preferring to highlight the waning appeal of al Qaeda instead and it's equally treasonous liberal counterpart the Washington Post decided to focus on nuclear proliferation and scarce natural resources. Why do they hate America so?

War crimes conference planned for February in London

Rumours that former US Defence Secretary Donald "The Unknown Unknown" Rumsfeld and by-then former US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney will be on hand to offer pointers cannot be confirmed at this time.

I may attend if my work schedule permits.

Terrorism spews forth from the occupied territories!

Lawless zealots in Hebron have desecrated a place of worship and vandalised a cemetery whilst elsewhere on the West Bank illegal squatters attacked peaceful farmers and Christians who accompanied them. Surely these vicious terrorists must be wiped out, possibly by an attack from an unmanned drone, and if innocent civilians were to die in such an attack that is the price that must be paid if these cowardly evildoers insist on sheltering themselves amongst the civilian population instead of standing up and fighting like men.

Hey, wait a second. These weren't evil acts of mindless and unprovoked aggression by Muslims but legal and legitimate acts of self defence by members of the heroic (if illegal) Jewish community in the (illegally) occupied territories.

We must salute them for their valour and their steadfastness, right?

It will almost certainly come to nothing...

...but for the moment the indictment of "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney and Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales in Texas allows a man to dream. I mean who wouldn't pay to see those two in chains!

A musical I would (and probably will) pay to see

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, of South Park fame, have created the Mormon Musical! When's it coming to the West End, eh?

If he does nothing else

Following through on this will make Barack Obama's Presidency a success.

My new hero

A toddler named Will at the Phillies World Series parade.

Today in Schadenfreude

A jury in Kentucky of all places has found the head of the Imperial Klans of America personally liable for $1,000,000 in damages in a suit brought by a Hispanic teenager savagely beaten by racist thugs on the orders of Imperial Wizard Ron Edwards. It is expected that the ruling, if upheld, will drive the poor man into bankruptcy. I don't think Mr. Edwards should expect a Federal bailout anytime soon.

And the truth shall set you free...

Lord Bingham, a highly respected former Lord Chief Justice, has broken the omertà surrounding Lord Goldsmith's advice to then PM St. Tony Blair over the (illegal) invasion of Iraq and made the rather bold statement that this act by the US and the UK was a "serious violation of international law"; a statement that, if true, would seem to mean that St. Tony, Captain Codpiece and any number of those around them could be considered war criminals.

A bad idea on so many levels

The Great State of South Carolina is planning a sales tax holiday to encourage the state's residents (and perhaps those of nearby states as well) to buy more firearms.

{sigh}

(Catholic) Ignorance is Strength!

According to the Right Reverend Patrick O'Donoghue, Catholic Bishop of Lancaster there are too many educated people amongst the laity and they are damaging the Church's holy mission to brainwash the ignorant. (I must admit that I have paraphrased him rather loosely but I think I am communicating rather accurately the gist of his message!)

I'm sure that good old Bill Donohue will agree wholeheartedly.

Quote of the day

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."------- Albert Camus

Certainly true in my case!

Already with the creeping socialism

Even before known Red sympathiser Barry Obama takes the oath of office some government agencies are getting ahead of the game and trying to help out real people rather than richly deserving billionaires.

"Well if you want us to count ALL the votes...

...maybe we won't send a convicted felon back to the Senate.

"I thought you said you'd bring the salt!"

It looks as if you Yanks will have to drive more carefully this winter as there doesn't seem to be enough salt to go around.