15 September 2007

Why international football is not like primary school

Because it is extremely unlikely that you are going to get away with lying about the death of your grandmother in order to get out of an international match and have your country's FA fly you back, in a charted jet, home so you can shag your girlfriend.

I have so more, regrettably late, advice for Stephen Ireland. Once caught it is incredibly stupid to then claim it was your other grandmother who died who then threatens to sue the paper that says she is dead. And don't even think about switching the fatality to your divorced grandfather's new girlfriend either. Newspapers have resources and once they get the scent of blood (or in this case perhaps formaldahyde) they can be incredibly tenacious.

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