31 March 2008
Does this food item resemble in any way our Lord and Saviour? No!
Does this food item resemble a penis with arms? Yes! Case settled.
...Take me out with the crowd,
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack,
Tell this wanker to never come back."
Feel the love as Captain Codpiece throws out the first ball in Washington.
If he's lost the baseball fan who has he got left?
Let us all bid a loving adieu to Secretary Jackson.
30 March 2008
Sorry - I must have been dreaming for a moment. What a stupid question.
29 March 2008
Meanwhile the battle against terrorist teats has moved on to the great state of Florida where advertisements in Orlando for the upcoming Wrestlemania XXIV feature post nipple-ectomy pugilists.
Things are not going so well however in the Green Mountain State though as the Vermont Human Rights Commission has found that an airline discriminated against Emily Gillette when they removed her from a flight for pornographically feeding her two month old child. What do we expect from a state with a French name?
Nice and cozy.
28 March 2008
Ten years ago today Viagra was first marketed for erectile dysfunction and the world will never be the same.
Welcome to the twenty first century.
Oh well. It doesn't matter who they used to be. Off to Gitmo with them!
Better than working for tips, eh?
Retribution - perhaps. Blind vengeance - yes. Justice - no.
Yank in London
Note also the conflation of al Qaeda and Iran, despite all evidence to the contrary. Do I hear the drums of war (again)?
27 March 2008
Am I the only one who is ashamed?
Yes - the world is a safer place now, innit it?
26 March 2008
A group of pub landlords are trying to engineer a campaign to see to it that Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, is barred from every pub in the land after he endangered that truly venerable British institution, a pint of real ale, with another crippling increase in beer duty in his latest budget. Well if I have to make a choice between Mr. Darling and a properly pulled pint of Britain's finest it really isn't a difficult choice!
I just love to watch participatory democracy at work
And there's some sort of something stirring up the tabloids re the most recent Mrs. Sarkozy as well. (Probably NSFW)
25 March 2008
*Answer: Jesus, Jesus, Virgin Mary, Jesus, Jesus, doughnut, Jesus, Virgin Mary.
"We know that there was never any danger to the aircraft or to the occupants on board."
How dare he? How fucking dare he? He, who demonstrated his lack of courage and patriotism through his priorities being elsewhere all throughout his five Vietnam era draft deferments, has neither the right nor the perspective to make such an offensive and incorrect statement. I am certain that the families of each and every one of the dead 4,000, irrespective of they attitude to the ware itself, will agree with me. Captain Codpiece does not bear the burden; "I'm a Big" Dick does not bear the burden; these families do!
24 March 2008
Today in infamy - "don't worry - in 20 years we'll own the Supreme Court - this won't cost us a dime" edition
22 March 2008
Perhaps the young Wallace does have a drop or two of his father's blood in him after all.
20 March 2008
In many ways this is a good thing because there is only a very small portion of the Philadelphia population, largely to be found at Penn, that speaks anything that could be confused with English. If Mr. Vento were to refuse service to anyone who did not speak English properly he would rather swiftly go out of business.
CHENEY: On the security front, I think there's a general consensus that we've made major progress, that the surge has worked. That's been a major success.
RADDATZ: Two-third of Americans say it's not worth fighting.
RADDATZ: So? You don't care what the American people think?
CHENEY: No. I think you cannot be blown off course by the fluctuations in the public opinion polls.
19 March 2008
There are, of course, those who that think McCain was right. After all, no one has ever accused the Weekly Standard with being a member of the reality based community.
A spokes-insect (arachnid?) for the bed bugs said that they were working to "rid the newsroom of these pests irrespective of the cost".
*Do you think I can make to 1000 by election day?
However, for me at least, it was probably enough that I will support him over Hillary even though neither fit well into my political philosophy and Obama's health care ideas require significant reworking. The right wingers will find plenty to pick at, largely out of context, including Senator Obama's failure to believe that America is perfect thereby proving that he is not a true patriot.
18 March 2008
So impressed were they by this miracle no one seems to have thought to ask why God destroyed the woman's house in the first place.
Meanwhile in the UK the British government has taken stern action and is suggesting to its citizens that they ought not travel to the Himilayan ex-country. There goes my weekend break in Lhasa.
He's at it again claiming an association between pre-(illegal)-invasion Iraq and al Qaeda despite all of the evidence from his own bloody government to the contrary.
Is there a twelve step programme for this? Shouldn't there be?
Oh, if SCOTUS does allow the regulations to go forward, the rest of the world, with the exception of Riyadh, Tehran and Vatican City, will be laughing.
17 March 2008
But the surge is working, right?
I reckon it all hinges on what the meaning of "everything" is.
16 March 2008
15 March 2008
I just read it again and, unless Auntie is lying, that is indeed what he said.
For (possibly fictitious) examples of the newspapers journalistic excellence click this link!
For those of you who don't have access to the Times here are his theses:
1. The West is much more violent than the Muslim world. Millions of Arab civilians have been killed since colonialism began.
2. Faced with the warmongering of the West, it is really not surprising that support for Muslim extremists continues to grow.
3. Terrorists in Islamic disguise are murderers. The same holds true for the ringleaders disguised as Christians who wage wars of aggression in contravention of international law.
4. Muslims were and are at least as tolerant as Jews and Christians. They have made a major contribution to Western civilization.
5. Love of God and love of one's neighbor are the central commandments not only in the Bible but also in the Qur'an.
6. Western policies towards the Muslim world suffer from a shocking ignorance of even the simplest facts.
7. The West must treat the Muslim world just as fairly as it treats Israel. Muslims are worth as much as Jews and Christians.
8. The Muslims must champion a progressive and tolerant Islam, as did their prophet Muhammad. They must strip terrorism of its religious mask.
9. Nothing fosters terrorism more than the West's "war on terror". Muslim countries must resolve their problems with radical Islamism themselves.
10. What is needed now is the art of statesmanship, not the art of war - in the Iran conflict, the Iraq conflict and the Palestine conflict.
I think not.
And Iraq is a clusterfuck after Captain Codpiece listened to the voices in his head.
I can only assume that the EU leaders proposing this are frightened of losing out to India and China as they have nothing to fear from the US where freedom from knowledge seems to be the current vogue.
Unfortunately the answer is a resounding "no".
14 March 2008
For those of you who didn't pay attention at school the following is the first bit: 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209
7494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651 3282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102 7019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461 2847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432 6648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920 9628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841. The balance of the first million positions are to be found here.
13 March 2008
For reasons I do not understand Senator Vitter did not resign and was not forced to resign after admitting to availing himself of the services of prostitutes in Washington and back home in Louisiana. Perhaps ex-Governor Spitzer can explain.
So does this mean that Christianity kills?
12 March 2008
One, two, three: "Let's bomb Iran"
I am afraid. Are you?
11 March 2008
I think the best solution would be to award the contract to no one and to send every American a cheque for 117 US dollars!
Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch in my estimation but one suspects that if they end up unemployed their life will still be many order of magnitude easier than most of those that they put on the dole.
I wonder if she remembers that Jesus was a "transient" (aka lesser human being). Probably not is my guess.
The cries from the right have been deafening all day. For some reason they're not so concerned with this guy or even this guy but I am sure that is not hypocrisy so it must be anti-Judaism!
10 March 2008
Disclaimer: this post can in no way be construed as either anti-Judaic or supportive of terrorism so don't even try, OK?
There is only one caveat. He has to take his sidekick the undead "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney with him!
If you're looking for a city to move to North Jersey looks a good bet as they are the only area reporting codeine in the water.
09 March 2008
By the way I can't help decide who will win PA as I have already voted in the Democrats Abroad primary on Super Tuesday. Damn!
Ah, life is good.
(Isn't it great to see America leading the way in the fight against climate change by extending daylight savings time by 3 weeks? No sacrifice too small, I say!)
08 March 2008
Perhaps Pennsylvania's Governor Rendell should consider this new product line as a revenue enhancers for the state's State Liquor Stores.