Rest in Peace

The great South African singer and activist Miriam Makeba has died at the age of 76.

Today in Schadenfreude

Swift boater and habitual liar Jerome Corsi has been deported from Kenya for failing to have the visas required for promoting his most recent slime.

Kenya moves back up my list of places I'd like to holiday!

Today in war crimes

Somehow I had always imagined that on the day that a Thatcher was named as a probable war criminal in a court of law, (even if the court is a dodgy one), that it would have been the mother and not the son. That said, Mark Thatcher is one irritating toss pot and I am certain he is guilty of something!

It's not that I wish Mark Thatcher ill...

...oh shit, I may as well be honest. I probably do wish Mark Thatcher ill if only for being such a useless and annoying twat. Ergo I confess to taking some guilty pleasure in the news that Equatorial Guinea has sent a request to Interpol for an international arrest warrant for the Milk Snatcher's wayward son over his role in a coup plot to overthrow the country's dictator Obiang Nguema. President Nguema has no special place in my heart and certainly richly deserves to be ousted but it wouldn't hurt young Mr. Thatcher to finally do a little hard time and I am sure that time served in Equatorial Guinea is hard time indeed.

War is Peace! Black is White!

Down is Up!. Bush trumpets increase in African aid to fight disease when spending will actually be down year on year. "You don’t want to pile up money" said Captain Codpiece, undoubtedly with that smug, annoying chuckle of his.

Now why didn't I think of this?

Well this goes to show why he's "The Most Powerful Man on the Planet" and I am not. I would never have thought that the way to end the long standing humanitarian disaster in Darfur is simply to say that it must end. Captain Codpiece can leap large crises in a single bound.

Bush to Mugabe: "I expect to see a fair election"

Mugabe to Bush: "Florida. Ohio. Now fuck off will you?"

Haven't they suffered enough?

The African Great Lakes country of Rwanda is still trying to rebuild itself following the genocidal civil war of the the 90's that saw roundabout a million deaths. Now they have St. Tony to contend with.

Another crisis averted

Things were looking bad for Kenya what with the terrible outbreaks of violence after the quite possibly stolen election for President but now that increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice has told them to just cut it out peace will certainly be restored. On to the next crisis.

In related news out of Kenya a "growing appetite for Rice pushes prices".

Nairobi on the brink?

There was a time when Kenya could be counted as one of Africa's few success stories with a stable, democratic government and a reasonably prosperous economy; not anymore. To their credit at least they get upset when their election is stolen. Americans just sit there and take it.

Destroying the traditional family - one pachyderm at a time

I certainly hope that no American government aid is being used to fund putting South African elephants on birth control. Why can't we just send them an elephant whisperer who will instruct them in the Christian principles of abstinence only?

Just in time for Xmas - peace on Earth!

Fresh from her stunning success in bringing total and lasting peace to the Middle East by personally resolving the Jewish-Palestinian conflict increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice is set to end all of the wars in Africa with a wave of her hand. I doubt she even knows how many there are at the moment. I know that I certainly don't.

Thanks but no thanks

Yet another African country, this time Nigeria, has inexplicably rejected the opportunity to be the host country for the America's neo-colonial AFRICOM.

The lucky troops assigned to AFRICOM remain headquartered in Stuttgart Germany, the obvious second choice!

"My Clan is Refugee"

McClatchy has a story about a newly opened photo exhibition in Nairobi entitled Qaxooti, the Somali word for refugee. The show, put together by CARE International, chronicles life in the refugee camps in Dadaab Kenyawhich are now home to some 160,000 people, mostly displaced Somalis.

Perhaps it will help us not forget!

Not in our country you don't

Kudos are due to the African nation of Namibia which has deported two representatives of American mercenary company Special Operations Consulting - Security Management Group and shut down their business. The two Americans were in the south west African company hoping to recruit up to 4,000 Namibian nationals for "security" jobs in Iraq and Afghanistan. SOC-SMG will sadly now have to look elsewhere.

18 billion USD per annum

That is the cost of the various wars in Africa according to a new joint study from Oxfam International, the International Action Network on Small Arms (IANSA) and Saferworld.

Since these wars are largely uncovered by the western media don't forget to look away now!

Oh you're THAT Bill Gates!

I think we can excuse the concerns of the Nigerian government after they initially denied his visa application over fears that he might create a burden on local social services. After all the application probably was in the name of William.

Today in the occult

German Chancellor Angela Merkel met a dead person in South Africa today. The Decider(TM) is said to be shocked and horrified by the news.

Good news from South Africa

Not only is Nelson Mandela still alive, despite the firm convictions of Captain Codpiece to the contrary, but so are all of the 3,200 gold miners who had been trapped up to a mile down in Elandsrand after a failure in the lift system.

Reuters gets to cover the really big story though; gold prices were unaffected by the near tragedy.

Halfway back

Over 1600 of the 3000 miners trapped up to a mile underground at the Elandsrand gold mine in South Africa have been rescued so far. Recriminations over lift maintenance to follow.