31 October 2008

OK, so I'm down me local...

...having a pint and watching the Phillies celebration on the wireless. Too fucking cool, eh?

God I love Harry Kalas!!!!

Attention Philadelphia

Won't someone please send me some photos from the parade? Please?

I was at the last one!

She's no atheist....

...she's a decent human being. The ad is offensive and so is anyone who tries to defend it.

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 103: he seems to have been jilted by (not) Joe the (non-)Plumber. It is really just so sad. And I thought they made a lovely couple.

Just good old fashioned investigative journalism

The (slightly less than) eminent Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, owned by renowned wing nut Richard Mellon Scaife, has been working overtime on the election coverage demanded by its owner and has discovered that Pittsburgh's hookers just love Obama! Thanks Dick.

I wonder if Dylan gets royalties for this

The Washington Post has a rather strident opinion piece today about The Aged One's most recent desperate smear attack on Obama for daring to speak to a natural born American, well respected (except by Republi-cons) scholar Rashid Khalidi, entitled "An 'Idiot Wind'".

Apparently the Straight Talk Express is barred from the High Road.

All I want for Xmas...

...is one of these!

The gift that keeps on giving

It seems that on his way out the door Captain Codpiece intends to make things just that much nicer for a wide array of business interests and that much worse for Americans, human beings and the planet. The list of proposed new regulations would:
  • Allow federally funded health care workers to refuse to perform abortions
  • Impose mandatory drug testing on miners (whilst doing nothing to improve their abysmal and dangerous working conditions)
  • All the Interior Department to approve development projects without scientific input (they'd just ignore it anyway)
It's always Xmas for business interests in the Bush White House innit?

You may find this of interest

British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has quietly asked the Attorney General to investigate MI5 and the CIA for possible criminal wrong doing in the torture of UK resident Binyam Mohamed. Mr. Mohamed was "rendered" to Morocco where his "interrogation" alleged included incisions on his penis amongst other indignities and degradations.

Could this be the end of a beautiful friendship?

It will also be interesting to see if any of the US press pick up the story. In addition to The Guardian the story has been covered here by The Independent, The Times and, rather surprisingly the right wing Daily Mail, although they couldn't bring themselves to use the word "torture" without putting quotes around it.

30 October 2008

I just had to share Harry Kallas with you!

The economic climate sucks for almost everyone...

...but not everyone. 3rd quarter earnings are being announced in the energy sector and if you're Valero Energy (42% year on year), Murphy Oil (+190% year on year), Marathon Oil (+102% year on year) or Occidental Petroleum (+72% year on year) things are pretty good indeed. There there's Royal Dutch Shell, whose profit rose 71% to $10,900,000,000 for the quarter (or about $120,000,000 a day); British Petroleum whose profits rose 148% to $11,500,000,000 for the quarter (about $126,000,000 a day); and of course my old employer Exxon whose profits rose a mere 58% to $14,800,000,000 ($163,000,000 a day) to shatter its own quarterly profits record.

Life is good, eh?

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Exposed! Drunken British plot to destroy American democracy (or something like that)with about £150! Off to Gitmo with this insidious woman (one Claire Hazelgrove) I say!

Jeez - you'd think that they didn't trust us!

Now those contrarians at the heart of the Iraqi government are demanding that the forces agreement with the United States to given the Iraqis the power to veto any incursions into their neighbours' turf. Why do they hate freedom so?

Well what did we expect from a woman who thinks the planet is 6,000 years old??

Over on the Guardian website today Adam Rutherford, from Nature, explains to us why Ramb-ette's injudicious comments about research into Drosophila melanogaster, or more specifically Bactrocera oleae, has made her a laughing stock amongst scientists along with most folks who have a reasonably adequate education.

More on the endorsement front

This has got to really hurt. One of the unelected prophets of the neo-conservatives, and author of The End of History, the eminent Francis Fukuyama, has announced he's voting for Senator Obama. His reasons?

"I’m voting for Barack Obama this November for a very simple reason. It is hard to imagine a more disastrous presidency than that of George W. Bush. It was bad enough that he launched an unnecessary war and undermined the standing of the United States throughout the world in his first term. But in the waning days of his administration, he is presiding over a collapse of the American financial system and broader economy that will have consequences for years to come. As a general rule, democracies don’t work well if voters do not hold political parties accountable for failure. While John McCain is trying desperately to pretend that he never had anything to do with the Republican Party, I think it would a travesty to reward the Republicans for failure on such a grand scale."

Of course at least Mr. Fukuyama has admitted he might have been wrong unlike the host of lesser (and non-)thinkers who rely so heavily on his earlier work.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Senator Barack Obama admits to being a "secret communist"!

Live from Mudville!


Despite having to endure the longest match in World Series history, at some 50 hours and counting, the losingest team in professional sport history has managed to win the "World Championship" for only the second time, increasing their frequency of success to about once every 62.5 years.

I didn't stay up to watch it although I do have it recorded and will probably watch it this evening; after a few celebratory pints down the pub. However I did receive a frantic phone call somewhere around 2 AM this morning from the 6 1/2 year old grandnephew with the news. I wonder if his Mum ever got him to sleep last night.

In any case the win was followed by the traditional mildly homo-erotic scene of about 30 writhing men in uniform in a pile pile on the floor which can be seen at the end of the clip below.

29 October 2008

Pretty scary stuff

Courtesy of the Las Vegas Sun footage of some of the love filled people leaving a Ramb-ette rally.

Step right up

Get your talking points right here!



Video found courtesy of Oliver Burkeman's election blog over at The Guardian. I hope it makes you smile!

Hero of the day

Rather surprisingly is Florida's Republican Governor Charlie Crist for extending the hours for early voting in the state.

Because ensuring that everyone gets the same chance to vote should not be a partisan issue!

Well what do you know?

Watch Faux News' Megyn (couldn't her parents spell?) Kelly melt down and then suggest that the Faux-workdoesn't tolerate sarcasm!

Once again...

...I'm not so proud to be a Pennsylvanian (although not all of the folks on the video are shameful).

Today in Schadenfreude

Don't everyone weep at once. On the German markets hedge funds, described by some as "asset-stripping locusts", bet on VW stock falling last week but were caught out by the announcement the Porsche was taking over and had cornered about 75% of its much larger rival. Suddenly these funds faced ruin as they were bidding against each other for the remaining 5% of shares (about 20% are owned by the German state of Lower Saxony) and the price soared to in excess of €1000, four times the price last week. According to this article from The Guardian "some fund managers were reportedly in tears as they realised the scale of their losses". I am trying very, very hard to be sympathetic to their terrible predicament but am failing miserably. Does this make me less of a decent human being?

World Series cluster fuck continues

Game 5 of the 2008 World Series is already the longest game in the history of baseball and is scheduled to get longer; they might try and finish it tonight weather permitting. Do they have any idea how bloody difficult this is to take from 5,700 km 3500 miles away?

And the answer to this question is "how can you be so stupid of course She does!"

28 October 2008

On the endorsement front

Obama has picked up the endorsements of the Benton County (Ark) Daily Record, the Wausau (Wis) Daily Herald, the Commercial Dispatch of Columbus Mississippi, the Chippewa Herald of Chippewa Wis,Britain's conservative Financial Times, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and the Anchorage Daily News.

McCain gets the endorsement of (not) Joe the (non-)plumber.

Damn liberal press.

How's that abstinence thing working out for you?

Not so well as it turns out. It seems that the offspring of American evangelicals like sex earlier and more often than the average American kid. Surprise! Surprise!

Curiouser and curiouser

As I noted earlier I was sure that the right wing nuts would not scream about an impending terror attack over the arrest of two good white, Christian Americans for planning a suicide attack that would have seen over 100 people killed because of their race, some of them mutilated, and the assassination of an extremely prominent American politician. However one would think that the main stream press should have the fucking cojones to call it what it is; a planned terror attack on the American mainland. I would be wrong! Shame, shame, shame!

Dear Mr. Monbiot -

I hope you are braced for the hate because once the American wing nuts get wind of your column in today's Guardian the sliming will begin. The column begins:

"How was it allowed to happen? How did politics in the US come to be dominated by people who make a virtue out of ignorance? Was it charity that has permitted mankind's closest living relative to spend two terms as president? How did Sarah Palin, Dan Quayle and other such gibbering numbskulls get to where they are? How could Republican rallies in 2008 be drowned out by screaming ignoramuses insisting that Barack Obama was a Muslim and a terrorist?

Like most people on my side of the Atlantic, I have for many years been mystified by American politics. The US has the world's best universities and attracts the world's finest minds. It dominates discoveries in science and medicine. Its wealth and power depend on the application of knowledge. Yet, uniquely among the developed nations (with the possible exception of Australia), learning is a grave political disadvantage."

And ends:

"Obama has a lot to offer the US, but none of this will stop if he wins. Until the great failures of the US education system are reversed or religious fundamentalism withers, there will be political opportunities for people, like Bush and Palin, who flaunt their ignorance."

I hope you're prepared George (and don't try to correct them on their spelling - that's like poking a hornets' nest).

And his number shall be six, thrice score and six

Watch this video clip from the Guardian web site. How did we ever get to this place where seemingly well educated people have so little knowledge of the world around them? There is something truly terrifying about this.

Today in Schadenfreude

It's been a long time coming but Alaskan slimeball (soon to be ex-) Senator Ted Stevens is is now a convicted felon. But before we feel too sorry for the ranting octogenarian there is always the possibility that he will get a pardon from Captain Codpiece and he is still eligible for his Congressional pension not to mention the tax payer funded socialised health care benefits he's in line for as well.

There is a special circle in Hell...

...reserved for parents who think it is ever a good idea to allow their eight year old children to fire assault weapons. I can only hope that an eternity in Hell is sufficient punishment for Charles Bizilj of Connecticut who saw his eight year old son kill himself whilst firing an Uzi at a gun show. One would hope that there will be prosecutions but I suspect that the police and prosecutors in Connecticut are too busy busting potheads to face up to the righteous anger (and deep pockets) of the NRA should they try and prosecute.

Heroes of the day

We should all be thankful for, and proud of, the dozens of call centre workers, men and women who probably really need the money, who walked away from their jobs in Indiana rather than recite some vulgar bile about Obama to Indiana voters at the behest of the straight-talking (irony intended) John "The Aged One" McCain and his lunatic sidekick Sarah "Ramb-ette" Palin.

Well done and thank you.

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be (and probably won't be) President

Number 102: suddenly, in addition to having to fight to win (and probably lose) traditional Republican strongholds such as Colorado and Virginia he suddenly finds himself in a street fight in his home state of Arizona. Could he be heading for McGovern territory? (Not that he is nearly as good or honest a man as George McGovern was.)

How do you say "Jihad" in Redneck?

Let us pause for a moment and imagine that 2 Muslim-American men are arrested by the FBI and it becomes public knowledge that these two Muslim-American men had plans, however confused or hopeless they might be, to kill over 100 American Christians, including decapitations, and then assassinate John McCain. Can you imagine the wave of righteous outrage and bile that would come spewing from the American radical right if these two men, instead of being sped off to Algeria to be tortured and then sent to the Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Club to languish outside of the reach on American or international law, they were merely charged with "with possession of firearms, threats against a presidential candidate running and conspiring to rob a gun store".

Yes - the spittle filled braying would be truly terrible to endure so I can hardly wait for the wave of outrage over the fact that these two Christian-American men, who were clearly planning an act of terror (which would make them terrorists), who indeed intended to be "suiciders", are being treated so fairly and charged with such low level crimes. Could it be that if one's plans are simply to decapitate some niggers and assassinate an American hating socialist it really isn't that big a deal?

I wait, with bated breath, to be proved wrong.

All I have to say...

...is what the fuck were they thinking? I had left instructions with my sister that it was OK to ring me in the middle of the night if the Phils won. When there was no call I assumed the worst but the worst was worse than I anticipated.

27 October 2008

Is Iraq a sovereign country?

If so perhaps someone in the Iraqi government could tell us who in the government authorised the US to violate Syrian sovereignty from Iraqi soil with a raid that either killed some dangerous evil doers or some not so dangerous construction workers depending on who you believe. Perhaps Captain Codpiece just wanted to stick something into the hornet's nest one last time before he retires to his country estate.

Aaaaaaaargh!!!

It's not even Halloween and already they've got fucking Xmas lights up on Bromley High Street. Another nine weeks of agony then

The end of British Summertime blues

The clocks went back on Saturday night (whilst I was watching the Phillies) and now it is 17:00 and nearly pitch black.

It sucks. It's time for four or five months of fighting off SAD.

Another fine day in Mudville


The Phighting Phils crushed the Rays in World Series game 4 last night and the Philadelphia sports writers prepare to get their hyperboles out!

Still dreaming.

26 October 2008

Oh the Faux-ness!



All credit to Joe Biden as he treats this "journalist" with the scorn and incredulity that she deserves. It would seem that Faux New has finally dropped any pretense of be a news channel.

Dear Melanie Phillips

In answer to your question: "almost certainly". Now just fuck off will you, you're annoying me (but that's my fault for actually reading your drivel).

For those of you planning to be in or about Cleveland next Sunday...

...this could be of real interest.

More joy, some mud


I managed to stay up and watch the Phillies last night; probably the only match I'll see live. And I must say it was well worth it if a bit tense.

A man can dream; even at my age.

25 October 2008

(Not so) proud to be Pennsylvanian

The New York Times reported yesterday that an email being sent to Jewish voters in Pennsylvania from the Republican Party's "Victory 2008" Committee and signed by prominent supporters of The Aged One likens voting for Obama to the rise of Hitler. Clearly the Republican GPS is set to send them rather permanently down the low road.

So like what will they have to do to get the merit badge?

Britain's Boy Scouts are to begin getting sex education AND free condoms. Things certainly were different in my day!

Just plain wrong

You know what? America's politicians (and pundits) don't get to refer to the US as the "greatest country in the world" as long as her citizens are having to skip taking rather important medications because there just isn't enough money to go around. I wonder how the "pro Life" people are going to fight back against this!

Heroine of the day

Meet Chaylee Cole, a university student from Weston WV, who lost her part time call centre job last week for refusing to call some of those "real Americans" down there and spew out hate against Senator Obama.

A bad idea on so many levels

Someone in the government's National Weights and Measures Laboratory thinks it might be a good idea if pubs should be able to serve up beer in 2/3's of pint. For starters what the hell would we call it? A two thirder?

And just a word of to the (ever helpful) bar staff at The Partridge if you try ever try to slip one of this by me it's heading straight back for topping up!

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 101: his running mate clearly thinks that left wing bombers are "unrepentant terrorists" but Godly Christian right wing bombers are merely "unacceptable". I think that that clearly shows how unqualified she is, don/t you?


So what's with the extraneous exclamation point?


Photo shamelessly stolen from FiveThirtyEight.com and presented without additional comment.

Captain Codpiece reserves the right to lie

How much longer do we have to put up with these cunts?

"More tea vicar?"

It may be slightly anti-social (and certainly more noticeable now that smoking is banned in England's pubs) but it seems that smelly farts help to lower one's blood pressure. I apologise in advance but I've gotta think of my health!

The America I just don't know...

...but still the America I'm running away from.



All I can say is that if Tracy Kerlee truly has "Christian values" thank God I'm an atheist! (Irony intended.)

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 100 (I'm not going to make it to 1,000 am I?: he and his campaign will lie about anything. I can only hope that this woman gets a bit a jail time over this.

Why does Focus on the Family hate God?

Those lovely folks are having an anti-h*m*s*x**l anti-love in out in Denver where one of the speakers, one Joe ("Doesn't Do) Dallas, is on records as saying

:"Even if homosexuality is someday proven to be inborn, inborn does not necessarily mean normal, or divinely sanctioned."

So why does Mr. "Doesn't Do" Dallas think that God is so incompetent?

Now this is interesting

In today's Independent the eminent Middle East reporter Robert Fisk reports that the Iraqi police believed that Palestinian terrorist Abu Nidal was in the employ of the American "intelligence" services shortly before the illegal invasion of Iraq in yet another failed attempt to build a link between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda.

Question of the day

As posed by Michael Tomasky in today's Guardian: is it all over for The Aged One except for the recriminations?

24 October 2008

Can't someone please make it stop????

No really. I mean it this time. Over on one of Faux News' websites some geezer named James Pinkerton works out that there are less than six degrees of separation between Barack and Beelzebub. Really. I'm fairly certain he's not being ironic!

Go ahead, call me cynical

But I can't be the only one who is wondering whether this might not be in some way related to this, can I?

21st century Fascism

It turns out that the recently deceased extreme right wing Austrian hate-monger Jörg Haider, may have had a bit of a thing going on with the man who is his successor at the helm of the Bündnis Zukunft Österreich.
Stefan Petzner told Austrian radio that Mr Haider, whom he met five years ago, was "the man of my life".
The BZÖ claims the relationship between the two men was strictly platonic.

Hr. Haider was married with two kids.

If it walks like a mea culpa...

...and talks like a mea culpa it's probably a mea culpa. Former chairman of the US Federal Reserve, the revered and beloved Alan Greenspan, announces that he is shocked and appalled that the unregulated markets he so vociferously promoted just don't seem to work.

More mud - less joy


The (not so) Phighting Phils dropped game 2 of the World Series last night and therefore it is not too soon to panic!

23 October 2008

How's that trickle down thing working out for ya?

When I first moved here I used, half ironically, describe America to my British mates as a First World country and a Third World country sharing the same geography. Well I think this story goes a long way towards proving that if you wait long enough reality has a way of killing off all irony. American cities in particular are hotbeds of inequality on a par with such notable "cities on hills" as Abidjan and Nairobi and the life expectancy of black Americans is roughly the same as the life expectancy in China and parts of India.

The most egalitarian city in the world? (Prepare for wingnut heads exploding!)

Beijing. Thank heavens that communism has turned out to be such a failure and the unbridled free market such a success story, eh?

Dear Governor Palin,

The problem with your latest hare-brained scheme to put the election in God's hands is that I think you will find that She is not registered and, even if She tries to register, I am certain she will not have adequate federal government approved photo ID. (Of course, if I am proved wrong, this geezer might want to consider another appeal!)

Kind regards,

Yank in London

I need an American (resident) to do me a favour

Courtesy of Tampa Bay's Jason Bartlett stolen base last night American residents are entitled to a free Taco Bell taco. Would someone go claim mine and then tell me how it was?

Ta.

Come the revoluition...

...we have another fine candidate for first up against the wall in Alexandre Mouradian who is suing his employers for the incredibly precise sum of £92,571 for allegedly short changing him over the bonus he awarded himself (yes - you read that correctly) for the second half of 2006. The amount he is suing for represents about 5% of his total compensation of £1,632,000 for the second half of 2006. (Yes - you read that correctly - for the second half of 2006!) Mr. Mouradian had awarded himself 92% of the total bonus for that period and allocated absolutely nothing to about half his staff.

I think the "cunt" word is the only adequate description, don't you?

Friends like these

The British High Court has strongly (and quite rightly) criticising the American government for refusing to disclose evidence related to the alleged torture of Binyam Mohamed. Mr. Mohamed is a British resident who has been (illegally) held at Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Resort for nearly six years. Prior to his incarceration at Gitmo American "intelligence" services has (illegally) "rendered" him to Morocco where Mr. Mohamed's attorneys argue the torture took place; the treatment included (blokes should take a deep breath before reading further) slicing his penis. The Guardian article goes on to say

In a particularly damning passage, Lord Justice Thomas and Mr Justice Lloyd Jones said claims by Mohamed's lawyers that the US was refusing to release the papers because "torturers do not readily hand over evidence of their conduct" could not be dismissed and required an answer.

The British government is bravely siding with the Yanks because the American government is essentially threatening to take its ball and go home by withholding intelligence data.

Once again I am reminded that it is not only possible, but often necessary, to be ashamed of the actions of one's government.

The joy of Mudville!


I shall be a happy camper all day thanks to the Phighting Phils success in game 1 of the World Series. I would celebrate with a pint but it is a bit early; I'll have to settle for a coffee.

22 October 2008

Suffer the Phillies fan....

As a third generation Phillies fan, whose family has supported the hapless lot as long as they've existed, I would like to say I couldn't have said it better.

Say it ain't so Joe Barack!!

If these latest aspersions from The Aged One about Barack Obama are true I think I need to fly to the states and see if I can retract my absentee vote! Clearly I cannot in good conscience support someone who supports Tampa Bay.

You will note that the article states that McCain "mistakenly" used the team's old name but I doubt that it was accidental. It is nearly certain that, as the Antichrist, Senator Obama would indeed be supporting the DEVIL Rays!

Just a good cuppa Joe?

The Starbucks on Bromley High Street has a sign posted in their window offering 87,000 varieties of coffee. My evil twin wants to go in and demand that they recite the list before I make up my mind as to what to purchase. Should I let him have his way?

21 October 2008

Captain Codpiece sorts out his retirement home

Against the odds he decides to keep the Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Club open even in the face of the financial downturn which mucst be crippling next year's bookings.

For Spurs fans everywhere

I wouldn't want you to miss these (courtesy of The Guardian).

In praise of Colin Powell

Yes - Secretary Powell does have a lot to answer for but at least, in process of endorsing Barack Obama this past Sunday, he said out loud what everyone else inside the beltway has lacked to courage to say and that is, in response to The Aged One's off the cuff "defense" of Senator Obama:

"Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country?' The answer is 'No.
That's not America
."

And a message to those merchants of hate, who I can only hope did not see him on Sunday morning or read what he said, attest that the endorsement is not based on thought or philosophy but simply "because the brothers hand together: isn't it time you found somewhere else to live?

18 October 2008

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 99: just because he's running for President and his wife is stinking rich it seems that Verizon is giving them very special treatment indeed; although a man with a history of cancer might want to think twice about living just so close to a mobile phone mast!

Discrimination in the name of God

Even in his (hopefully) final days Captain Codpiece continues to push the boundaries of his Imperial power as the White House says that it has the power to bypass laws that should prohibit public money from going to religious organisations that have employment policies that prevent them from employing anyone who does not belong to their sect.

The next time I talk to God I am going to ask Her if She thinks that is right.

I'm worried....

...that Ramb-ette might have to cancel her acting debut on Saturday Night Live tonight now that she admits that she only travels to pro-American places and we all know that New York City doesn't fit into that category what with all the commies and homosexuals and Muslims!

Will I awaken feeling refreshed?

Thanks to that ever useful website EXPOSEOBAMA.COM I now know that the junior Senator from Illinois Barack Obama has us all hypnotised and now we have this 60 page document (PDF) that tells us how he does it (and how you can use the same techniques to seduce women/men/sheep)!

Meanwhile in Cloud Cuckoo Land

The American Taxpayer is poised to pour $700,000,000,000 or more into the country's failing banking industry but the news of the failure of the banking industry hasn't yet reached the payroll departments of said banks as somewhere around 10% of that money is going to be immediately siphoned off into the bank accounts (probably off shore) of the banks' top staff. Money well spent I'd say.

Of course before we get to high and mighty about this on my side of the Big Water we should probably note that the bonuses are still bubbling up in The City.

I think I gotta get me one of these "jobs".

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 98: (stolen shameless from Simon Hoggart's column in today's Guardian. Mr. Hoggart met up with a long time British resident Yank* this week who told him:

"People keep telling me that John McCain spent five years in a Vietnamese prison," he said. "Well, so did Gary Glitter, and I'm not voting for him either."

*Not me.

When they came for our chocolate sex toys...

...I did nothing because I was not a chocolate sex toy and look what happens. Ann Summers has had to pull all of it's chocolate sex toys and "spreads" from their shelves due to contamination with melamine. Clearly abstinence is the only response!

I smell an invasion comin'!

At the very least, if the discovery of up to 20,000,000,000 barrels of oil off the coast of Cuba will see the end of the Helms-Burton Act as American oil executives clamber to get their hands on the money.

If the figure is roughly correct the find will put Cuba's reserves at nearly 70% of those in the US. (What's the Spanish for "drill, baby, drill?)

17 October 2008

Why does the Supreme Court...

...hate America so much that they want cheaters to be able to vote?

Will they be called BASBOs?

Harry Fletcher of the Probation Officers' Union thinks that discredited bankers should be given ASBOs. I think that just forcing them to wear hoodies and shop at Primark would probably be punishment enough!

Not just any old amendment!!

Ramb-ette's consort, the First Dude of Alaska, has said that the Second Amendment to the US Constitution "isn't just another amendment"; you know like the First Amendment, the Fourth Amendment, the Eighth Amendment, the Thirteenth Amendment, the Fifteenth Amendment or even the Nineteenth Amendment. I should like to thank Todd for clearing that up for me.

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 97: he has some rather dubious friends who have made rather a lot of money whilst (not exactly) "supporting the troops".

It must have been all that free checking

The US Federal Bureau of Investigation is having a wee look at now defunct Washington Mutual.

16 October 2008

Is it all over but the collecting?

Irish bookmaker Paddy Power is already paying out to punters who bet on an Obama victory. The total bill is expected to be in excess of €1,000,000.

Come the revoluition...

...these cunts are first up against the wall (and I mean that)!

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't (and probably won't) be President

Number 96: as you will note in the video below he seems to have developed 1,000 facial tics and other expressions; all of them unpleasant. If these are not the result of a nascent drug habit I would suggest he get out on the street and develop one! (I would recommend Seconal, Valium or Quaaludes.

From the department for hubristic cojones

Lloyds TSB Bank may yet scupper the British bail out deal as it negotiates for easier repayment terms for the tax payer money it is begging for. I am certain that there are tens of thousands of Lloyds TSB customers out there who are eager to share their pleasant and satisfying experiences in obtaining "easier repayment terms" on their mortgages, credit cards and overdrafts. Right?

On the letters page of The Guardian...

...a right wing libetarian explains the causes of the current financial crisis. If I may paraphrase Mr. Holcbert of the Ayn Rand Center: "too much regulation". I feel obligated to share the letter with you in it's lunatic entirety below.

"President Bush said the US government will 'aggressively' use a 'wide range of tools' to resolve the financial crisis. Apparently, Bush's 'wide range of tools'" is not wide enough to contain a single free market policy. All the 'tools' our government has aggressively used to date - bail-outs, takeovers, bans on short selling, manipulation of interest rates, creation of fiat money out of thin air, increased spending - have been yanked right out of the socialist and fascist toolkits.

We will only get out of the mess created by our government if it cans all of those 'tools' that got us where we are and starts freeing the market from its statist policies."

David Holcberg

Ayn Rand Center for Individual Rights, Washington DC

Quote(s) of the day

"Straight onto the tax attack, and a strong start for McCain, though he's blinking madly, it has to be said."

"McCain gets very cross indeed when Obama accuses him of negative campaigning. 'Let me just say categorically, I'm proud of the people who come to our rallies,' he says, and adds something completely confusing about people wearing hats."

"John McCain is a very strange chap. I'm sorry, but there it is."p>

All from Oliver Burkeman's live blogging of last night's debate over on the Guardian website.

More middle east madness

A middle eastern man has been placed under house arrest for causing an offense to religion. This is why we must fight on the middle east to bring democracy and religious freedom to these oppressed people. Is there a nobler cause for which America and all Americans should work? I say we should invade - I am sure that we will be greeted as liberators!

Hey - wait a minute the incident took place in Israel and the man is charged with offending the Jews. That IS very different isn't it?

Today in infamy

10 years ago today, at the behest of a Spanish judge, British police arrested alleged war criminal Augusto Pinochet in a London hospital. I would think that "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney should consider his future movements carefully!

Ecstasy in Mudville!!

Phighting Phils 5 - Dreaded Dodgers 1!

I think the picture speaks for itself!

Oh, and England won too (Belarus 1 - England 3).

15 October 2008

It's all happening tonight, innit?

We have England v Belarus; Philadelphia v Los Angeles; and a doddering old man v an illegal immigrant, communistic Muslim. I just can't decide what to do but I think it starts (and probably ends) with a pint!

Nice

Until recently the GOP website in Sacramento CA had postings that sought to link Barack Obama to Osama bin Laden and to waterboard the Democratic candidate. But it's OK; they've taken it down so "no harm no foul".

In the news

Apparently the heart of US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney has started beating and he's been admitted to hospital to sort it out before he returns to his coffin an undisclosed location.

As usual...

...the best coverage of the American election comes from abroad. You may read the third instalment of Oliver Burkeman's "Important questions to which the answer is 'no'" on the Guardian website. You just have to laugh don't you? (Except for the "fact" that 25% of the American population probably believes the actual answer is "YES".

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

"To Ayers or not to Ayers, that is the question"

Number 95: The Aged One is threatening to raise the "issue" of Obama's alleged close association with William Ayers in tonight's debate. If he does I predict that there will be blood. After all the (very) senior Senator from Arizona has spent two and a half centuries decades in Washington and the list of his dubious association is lengthy and its exposure will be unpleasant, for him at least. I would assume that the Obama campaign has done their homework.

So Senator McCain, should you choose to take this path, I can only recommend that you sling your mud and then brace yourself for a ton or so of mud coming back!

A memo to Ramb-ette

Dear Governor Ramb-ette,

I do think that it might behove you to get your dictionary out, there must be one in the Governor's office somewhere, and investigate the meaning of the word "vindicate".

It is likely that you will find the result your minmal effort enlightening.

That is all.

Kind regards

Yank in London

"But the truth is so limiting!"

Over at the home of super plus good untruth, the execrable Washington Times, the execrable Frank Gaffney continues to allege that Barack Obama was born in Kenya without a fact, a citation or a shred of evidence to support his slander. But what the heck? That's (un)investigative journalism for you!

Surely this qualifies as child abuse*

A clearly troubled man from Tennessee, one Mark Ciptak, snuck off and named his new-born daughter Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak whilst his wife was otherwise engaged. Of course I am certain all will turn out for the best as Mr. Cipak told some friends and members of his family BEFORE TELLING HIS WIFE so that they could pray for him or her or them or it. One wonders if Mr. Ciptak ever read Catch-22, or indeed any book.

*Or at least as grounds for divorce as Mr. Ciptak made the decision without his wife's input or knowledge.

Finally we find out what doner kebab meat is made from...

...and, for fans of the tasty post chucking out time treat at least, it isn't good news. So, if you're ever unlucky enough to be in Wolverhampton, I would stay away from Pappu Sweet Centre and Catering.

Somehow this seems appropriate

I stumbled on this quote from Lily Tomlin the other day:
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
Somehow it seems right in the current economic climate and we shouldn't forget this about the few that will come out of this on top.

I love Ms. Tomlin but I've still never really forgiven her for this unprovoked attack on Philadelphia some 30 odd years ago.

So where's the Secret Service then?

Imagine, if you will, that an attendee at an Obama rally calls for the assassination of Captain Codpiece. Surely said attendee would be hauled off by the Secret Service for an "intensive interrogation" and a cavity search at the very least. Yet it seems that it is perfectly acceptable for attendees at an appearance of Ramb-ette, this time in lovely Scranton PA, to call for the assassination of Senator Obama without the security forces batting an eye.

I believe that this is generally known as a "double standard" but I can't be sure.

11 October 2008

Hero of the day

Meet Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart who has refused to continue to carry out evictions under the current rules. Sheriff Dart found his staff often being ordered to evict tenants from rented accommodation, even though they had been faithfully paying their rent, when the owner's mortgage was foreclosed. The banks in general made no attempt to notify the tenants when repossession procedures were undertaken and left that to Sheriff Dart and his employees.

The awkward squad

Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki is still holding up a deal with the US over the continuation of their illegal occupation over such meaningless details as American demands for immunity for US soldiers and mercenaries. One has to admit he has a point. If Iraqi justice was good enough for Saddam Hussein why isn't it good enough for Yanks?

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 94: his lovely and wealthy Missus seems to think that those veterans who suffer from PTSD from the experiences in Vietnam (or Iraq) were just poorly trained unlike her brave (and doddering) husband. Not a million miles away from the accepted view during World War I when her husband was just a young pup!

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 93: despite all of his earlier lies promises he has definitely decided that he is definitely not taking the high road. Whether he'll be in Scotland before ye is any one's guess.

Let them eat gefilte fish!

Things are hotting up in the Middle East again as the Lebanese demand that the Israelis stop stop trying to claim hummus and falafel as their own. The question on everyone's mind is whether the US will allow Israel to launch military strikes into Lebanon to stamp out this contagion.

Dear Senator McCain

Now that the Alaskan investigation into the (missing) ethics of your running mate Sarah "Ramb-ette" Palin has concluded that she violated Alaskan law and I can only assume that you will respond to my previous challenge by doing the honest thing and resigning from your candidacy; right?
And don't even think about point to your own "in depth" and undoubtedly unbiased investigation into the matter. None of us, including you I presume, actually take that seriously!

More joy in Mudville

A man can still live and dream as the Phighting Phils take game two from the dreaded Dodgers. Six more wins....

09 October 2008

In which I announce....


....that I'm going to have to burn my Flyers sweater if Ed Snider goes ahead with his plans and allows Ramb-ette to drop the first puck on opening night.

Middle eastern religious extremists run riot...

...after man is spotted driving a car on a holy day! Once again these dangerous and unbalance religious extremists are Jewish! The rioters cause "extensive damage" to property. Well no one has ever accused Israel of multi-culturalism.

If you think things are bad in the Western world...

...it could be worse you could be in Zimbabwe where the annual inflation rate hit 231,000,000% in July; up sharply from a mere 11,200,000% in June.

08 October 2008

Would this be a good time to privatise Social Security?

In a word "NO" as news reaches us that retirement accounts have lost $2,000,000,000,000 over the past 5 quarters.

Today in Schadenfreude

There must be wing nut heads exploding all across America today as a federal judge orders Captain Codpiece and his evil minions to release 17 evil doers completely innocent men from the Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Club. And not just release them either; release them INTO AMERICA where they will be able to wreak their innocence on unsuspecting loyal Americans. The worst of the worst indeed.

I suggest that they be given government housing somewhere in the heart of America; I think Crawford Texas would fit the bill admirably.

07 October 2008

Today in Schadenfreude

Swift boater and habitual liar Jerome Corsi has been deported from Kenya for failing to have the visas required for promoting his most recent slime.

Kenya moves back up my list of places I'd like to holiday!

Don't worry your $700,000,000,000 is in safe hands...

...because if you can't trust a former executive of a company that couldn't make it as an investment bank with your money, who the hell can you trust?

In which I prove the existence of God...

...or at least Jesus and Mo do. I hope it makes you smile; it worked for me!

No Child Left Behind - Florida style

Some schools in Florida are counting the time it takes their students to walk to lunch against the state's requirement for two and half hours of physical exercise each week. I suspect this won't help the state reduce their overall level of obesity from 23%. Of course, once the kids get to lunch they can stuff themselves full of their favourite vegetable: ketchup!

06 October 2008

Stop making sense....

...apparently the First Amendment does provide a Pennsylvania high school kid with the right to wear a T shirt promoting gun violence; thank heavens. Expect Donald Miller III and his exemplary parents to be back with a suit based on the Second Amendment!

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 92: he believes in income redistribution; unfortunately in the wrong direction. A McCain aide has admitted that the Aged One plans cuts in Medicare and, obscenely, Medicaid to fund his loser of a health care plan. You have been warned.

Well this is rich from someone whose husband is a traitor (at least to "America firsters")!!

Idiot queen Sarah Palin is accusing Senator Obama of "palling around with terrorists" over the tenuous connection between the Senator and former member of the Weather Underground William Ayers. Given that Ms. Palin's husband hated America so much he wanted Alaska to leave it this takes rather a great deal of chutzpah.

Religious zealots on the loose in the Middle East!

And they stand accused of beating a woman for "consorting" with men, burning down a shop that sells MP4 players lest they be used to download pornography and stoning a woman for wearing a red blouse.

Oh, did I forget to tell you? They're God loving Jews!

So, which history will repeat itself?

Having clinically finished off Milwaukee the Phighting Phils have made it to the National League Championship Series to meet their nemesis of the 1970's, the LA Dodgers. We lost to them twice in '77 and '78 only to get our revenge a quarter of a century ago in that glorious year of 1983. The back to back losses in the seventies were made worse by the fact that I often used to drink in a bar run by Tommy Lasorda's brothers; who were not bashful about gloating.

04 October 2008

OK - I finally got around to watching the debate...

...and if I hear that bloody woman say the word "also" one more bloody time my head is going to explode. On a more serious note given that no one expected anything of her she almost delivered!

"How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways."

Republi-dent Senator Holy Joe Lieberman opines that passing the "bail out" is important because it will help John McCain! Whatever happened to country first?

"So, how they bitin''?"

A man in Tokyo has been arrested for using fishing tackle to steal a pair of women's knickers off of washing line. A subsequent search of Akira Hino's turned up a further 500 pairs of lovely, frilly pants. Well everyone should have a hobby.

Does this mean I'm on the "no fly list" now?

Nutcake Turkish creationist Adnan Oktar, who has offered a trillion dollars he doesn't have to anyone who can "prove" evolution to his satisfaction, a feat that is undoubtedly impossible, has now linked Darwinists to terrorism because Muslims couldn't possibly do these things!

Darwin akbar!!!!

Oh dear!

Ramb-ette and her husband have released their tax returns for the past two years and, low and behold, they are just a typical American working class family with an income of around $200,000 last year with a net worth of around $1,000,000; just like you an me! It also appears that there may be some income missing and yet, ah shucks, she just doesn't seem like the sort to cheat on her taxes...

The good news is that she'll still get a tax cut from President Obama.

IF he did it

Well it looks like former American footballer and B list actor O. J. Simpson is finally going down for something. Of course it was an all white jury so undoubtedly he is a victim of racial oppression.

I almost missed it!

Today is the final day of the American Library Association's Banned Book Week.

Sarah Palin - eliltist!

Why did she insist on using such high faluting language when ignoring the questions she was being asked and speaking directly to the American people on Thursday?

1,000 reasons John McCain shouldn't be President

Number 91: he promised a return to civility in politics and, boy, has he failed to deliver as almost all of his ad spend is devoted to attack and negative ads. Nice one John.

Even The Guardian has noticed...

...that Bill-o O'Reilly has lost his mind.



Having watched this again I am starting to wonder if Bill-o didn't lose a bit of money on Fanny Mae and her brother....

03 October 2008