You've been Condi-ed

It must be tough being the US Secretary of State, at least at the moment. It seems that Israeli announcers use Ms. Rice's name as a verb to describing going "endlessly around in circles, accomplishing nothing".

For fuck's sake people! Can't you see there's a legacy at stake here?

Increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conoco-leezza Rice has warned the Israelis and the Palestinians that time is running out for a peace deal. It is good to see that she is, finally, so concerned.

Well - he was warned

It can only be a matter of time before former US President and Nobel Peace Prize winner Jimmy Carter is "extraordinarily rendered" to somewhere unpleasant after yesterday's thinly veiled threat from increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conoco-leezza Rice. After all, talking to the party that the Palestinian people voted to represent them is certainly no way peace!

Department of unintentional irony

Increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conoco-leezza Rice called Iraqi cleric Muqtada al-Sadr a coward yesterday for calling for war against the Iraqi government unless attacks against his followers cease from a safe haven in Iran. Said Ms. Rice: "I guess that's the message; his followers can go too their deaths and he's in Iran." Ms. Rice made this statement whilst cowering in the relative safety of the Green Zone in Baghdad before returning to Washington and leaving the American troops to their fate.

Condi we hardly knew ye

Film maker Robert Greenwald has increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conoco-leezza Rice in his sights over torture.

John & Condie in a tree...

...no! I don't want to know what they are up to. Rumours that increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conoco-leezza Rice is pushing hard to be John McCain's running mate are circulating everywhere. Personally I don't see what she would bring to the ticket except association with all of the worst failures of the Bush administration. And she's hardly a dyed in the wool social conservative. I mean, what is she fifty something, and she hasn't spit out a pack of kids yet? Can I be the only one wondering if there isn't something in her life that these so-called "values" voters would be really, really, really unhappy with?

Not everyone is as put off as I am. Eugene Robinson for one would really this to happen. Maybe he's right.

A Freedom Agenda (TM)* update

After the legitimate, if unwelcome, victory by Hamas in the Palestinian elections Captain Codpiece, increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conoco-leezza Rice and Eliot Abrams backed an armed faction of Fatah hoping to overthrow the Hamas government. The plan backfired of course, given who organised it, and we are left with the complete cluster fuck that is illegally occupied Palestine today. Nice one, eh?

*Void where you elect anyone we don't like.

Where were the statistics?

Congressman Robert Wexler (D - FL) calls out increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleeza Rice over her lies, and damn lies, prior to the illegal invasion of Iraq. (And she loses her rag just a wee bit!)

Progress report

It is getting rather hard to find good news coming out of Afghanistan. Unless one asks increasingly irrelevant and realty-challenged US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice. What do they smoke at those White House prayer meetings anyway?

Here she comes

Increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice is due to fly into Britain for talks as NATO's Afghanistan mission hangs in the balance. The Afghan President Hamid Karzai has vetoed Lord Ashdown as the UN's super-ambassador to the country, possibly under pressure from the US ambassador to the UN. Canada is threatening to pull out of the multi-national force. Germany is resisting pressure to move its troops into trouble spots.

I am certain that Condi's great skills and powers of persuasion will save the day for all of us! (Why she's coming here rather than going to Canada or Germany is an interesting question though. Perhaps she doesn't speak either German or Canadian.)

Another crisis averted

Things were looking bad for Kenya what with the terrible outbreaks of violence after the quite possibly stolen election for President but now that increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice has told them to just cut it out peace will certainly be restored. On to the next crisis.

In related news out of Kenya a "growing appetite for Rice pushes prices".

Hold the Rice

Increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice has made a surprise trip to northern Iraq undoubtedly so that she can have the same pacific effect on the region that she has already had in Israel/Palestine and in Africa. However the President of Iraqi Kurdistan Massoud Barzani is refusing to meet with the great and powerful woman just because a few Turks (and their bombs) have accidentally crossed the border!

Rice smacked down - Israel to do what it wants

On Friday increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice had suggested to the Israeli government that its plans to build over 300 new homes in occupied East Jerusalem might not help the peace process along.

In response Israel's Housing Minister Ze'ev has told Ms. Rice to shut the fuck up and go away. (Note: this is my own unorthodox translation of the Hebrew.)

I thought that the US was supposed to be the senior partner in this relationship.

Rice to pursue Iran sanctions

Conocoleezza is still insisting that the UN Security Council must pass sanctions against Iran. I reckon they're now going to have to be for NOT HAVING a nuclear weapons programme.

Just in time for Xmas - peace on Earth!

Fresh from her stunning success in bringing total and lasting peace to the Middle East by personally resolving the Jewish-Palestinian conflict increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice is set to end all of the wars in Africa with a wave of her hand. I doubt she even knows how many there are at the moment. I know that I certainly don't.

Heart of darkness

In today's Guardian Candace Allen explores why she loathes increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleeza Rice despite Ms. Allen being an Afro-American woman herself. I suggest you read it.

How do you spell H-U-B-R-I-S?

Increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice has had the unmitigated gall to suggest that the Iranian government isn't as open as it should be. Whilst her allegation is undoubtedly true is Ms. Rice unaware of the American junta regime administration that she is a member of their attitude to secrecy? This bunch of obsessives has crushed lawsuits and prevented those charged with crimes (or just incarcerated without being charged with crimes) from seeing evidence against them using the if-we-told-you-we'd-have-to-kill-you defence.

Pot meet kettle.

Isn't this why the wing nuts attacked Carter and Tutu?

If I am reading this correctly isn't increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice comparing Israeli treatment of the Palestinians to apartheid?

Today in infamy

Fifty three years ago today increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice was born in Birmingham AL.

What is wrong with these people?

The chief legal advisor to increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice has refused to condemn water boarding even circumstances where it was used by other the intelligence services of nations on American citizens.

They really are getting frightened about war crimes prosecutions aren't they?