The Daily Mail calls out Labour for declaring class war on Posh Boy. (Special bonus Richard Littlejohn edition: the Shadow Home Secretary may think that gay boys shouldn't stay at B&Bs but it's the damn lefties' fault. Mr. Littlejohn shall hereafter be known as the "Voice of Reason".
The Torygraph informs us that politicians lie. This is what passes as scintillating political analysis at the paper these days apparently.
The Indie hints that El Gordo is counting on a hung parliament and is already chatting up Nick Clegg.
Rupert's Times tells us that El Gordo has declared war on business and the source for this allegation is, of course, the Tory Party!
Rupert's other, less cerebral publication, the must esteemed Sun announces the arrival of D-Dave. As of yet no cape and his pants are still on the inside.
The Grauniad explores in some depth El Gordo's roots as a typical middle class nearly English working class Presbyterian Scot.
Last but not least The Daily Star metaphorically asks: "Election? What election? Tits on Page 3!"