White man wins nomination!

Apparently some guy named Osama Obama has claimed the Democratic nomination for President. Rumours that Hillary Clinton has hired Tonya Harding as a tactical advisor for her campaign cannot be confirmed at this time!

How times flies...

...whilst you're waiting for electricity. Iraq's Minister of Electricity expects that the country's electricity supply should be "nearly stable" in only three years time. Well done everyone.

Oh, how they suffer

If you think that America's obscenely rich haven't noticed the economic downturn you would be very, very wrong indeed. They're having to sell off their spare Rolexes and are only chartering private jets rather than buying them outright but they are determined to hang on to their Bentleys and Picassos. God I hope they make it!

And after everything we've done for them!

Let's face it Blackwater USA has gotten a pretty good deal from the American taxpayer. They have received tens of millions of US dollars in contracts for supplying mercenaries for Iraq and Afghanistan and the US government has seen to it that said mercenaries are exempt from all Iraqi, American and international law should they be naughty. And how do they pay us back for this largesse? By buying a fighter jet from Brazil rather than from America.

I also have this nagging question in the back of my head as to why Blackwater needs only one fighter jet. Won't they need more than one when we outsource (illegal) attacks against Iran to them?

Maybe America is building a fence on the wrong border

I know that America's wing nuts have their knickers all twisted up over the hordes of illegal visitors crossing into America from the south and justifiably so as these people are brown and they don't speak English American. But at least they are proper Christians unlike many of those up north. What if atheists suddenly start sneaking in? Won't that destroy America's status as a Christian nation blessed unto God?

"Stop it Dick, you're killing me here!"

US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney tries stand up. Fails. Offends West Virginians and incest lovers everywhere!

Save the phone box!

BT plans to destroy the country's heritage by close down a large proportion of its red phone boxes. If Britain loses these treasures where will prostitutes leave their calling cards? I am certain that there will uproar in the shires and question asked in Parliament.

Yet another traitor in our midst!

Can't these once loyal Americans just wait until Captain Codpiece shuffles off to Texas (or Paraguay) before embarking on the character assassination? First little Scottie McClellan had a treacherous and clearly deceitful go at Our Great Leader and now General Ricardo Sanchez thinks the President is fair game! Key quote (from Captain Codpiece's blessed lips):

"Kick ass!...If somebody tries to stop the march to democracy, we will seek them out and kill them! We must be tougher than hell! This Vietnam stuff, this is not even close. It is a mind-set. We can't send that message. It's an excuse to prepare us for withdrawal."

Is he taking advice from Ms. Coulter or does he think he's still a cheerleader?

All men are pigs...

...all men have always been pigs*. A new study from Durham University tells us that ancient man used kill his rivals and steal their women.

*All pigs are not, however, men.

Quote of the day

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

Mark Twain

Another day...

...another Republi-con pleads guilty to fraud and agrees to roll over on his mates. Life is good, innit?

Won't someone please do something?

Terrible news from Alaska where ammunition prices have soared to such ridiculous prices that gun owners can no longer afford to buy by the case! Fuck the $4.00 gasoline, Congress needs to act now before America's most important freedom is lost.

At least Chris Rock must think this a step in the right direction.

Yes - he really did say this!

Congress should "be very careful about running up enormous costs for future generations of Americans" according to Captain Codpiece. Somehow this sage advice only seems to apply to climate change legislation and not to an illegal invasion of a sovereign, if unsavoury, nation nor to unaffordable tax cuts for the extremely wealthy at the expense of the poor and middle class.

He really is a first class wanker.

Ya think?

New scourge of the rabid right Scott McClellan says that Captain Codpiece didn't keep his word as regards the sacking of anyone involved in the Valerie Plame affair. Well, consistency is the Captain's hallmark and he's never keep his word before has he?

BREAKING NEWS: Most Americans are appeasers and traitorous bastards!

Don't believe? Just ask them. They seem to freely admit it.

Please help Larry "Not-Now-and-Never-Have-Been-Gay-but-Am-Willing-to-Consider-It-in-the-Future" Craig

He's writing an tell much less than all book and probably doesn't have a title for it yet. These folks have a few ideas. His contact details are to be found here.

Personally, I like Toe Tapping: My Struggle with My Sexual Identify.

He seems to have forgotten "Democratic" and "Spanish speaking"

Radical cleric, and former John McCain endorser John Hagee has a thing or two to say about the Anti-Christ; including "Jewish" and "ho-mo-sexual"!

R.I.P.

Bo Diddley - 1928 - 2008.



The saddest thing is that he probably made more money from those Nike adverts than from his music. As he once said:

"I am owed. I've never got paid...A dude with a pencil is worse than a cat with a machine gun."

Busy day

Off to an all day (second) job interview in the wilds of Kent. Probably won't be back on line until tomorrow afternoon. (Wish me luck!)

How many left?

Australia is finally cutting and running as a member of the coalition-of-the-now-nearly-as-willing-as-they-used-to-be. At least Singapore is still on the side of the angels!

Quote of the day

"It's nice to be here tonight to see how you poor people live." - Richard Barnes, one of Boris "The Buffon" Johnson's deputy mayors speaking to the hoi polloi in Ealing. It just goes to show you can't keep a good toff down!

How terribly middle class

Queen Liz wants Prince William's girlfriend to get a proper job before they get engaged. That should help her fit in with the rest of the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha clan no end.

"Not if you were the last Yangtze soft shell turtle on Earth!"

Scientists have their fingers crossed that an 80 year old female turtle just might be able to save a species. No word as yet if they've had to resort to turtle porn.

Shorter Captain Codpiece

"Don't end up like me!" Speaking to graduated at Furman University, (he does get all the premier schools doesn't he?), he urged them to be responsible.

Twisted knickers in West Chester

West Chester PA isn't exactly my home town but I did live in RD4 West Chester for seventeen years. How things (haven't) changed. Apparently a woman has opened a shop on Church Street that sells (Shock! Horror!) lingerie and sex toys. The usual assemblage of ring wing Christian nuts is horrified!

You have to remember that West Chester (previously Turk's Head) is a town where you can "come in High and go out Gay", or the reverse if you prefer.

Perhaps progress

I don't want any wing nuts to accuse me of not noting that last month's combat deaths in Iraq were the lowest since the illegal invasion. Let us hope it continues and that it is not just a blip. Civilian deaths apparently declined dramatically as well.

Not progress

Leila Hussein, an Iraqi woman who spoke out in condemnation after her teenage daughter was murdered by her husband for befriending a British soldier in Basra, has been gunned down in Iraq. Ms. Hussein had been living in hiding and had been planning to emigrate to Jordan but was murdered before she could do so. Her husband has never been charged or punished for the "honour" killing despite freely admitting his participation in the crime (or non-crime). Some aspects of Iraqi live may now be better than under the Ba'athists but the condition of women is certainly much, much worse.

Bill-O loses (what was left of) his mind

I think Mr. O'Reilly has stopped taking his medication. I imagine that you will agree with me after watching this clip from Crooks and Liars where he rants on and on about the "hard left" NBC. (I suspect that Mr. O'Reilly has never met anyone from the "hard left" or even the "soft left" or the centre if he thinks NBC is anything but right of centre!) He also says that he would resign from any network that "went in the tank" for one candidate. Bill I hope you spent the weekend working on your resignation. You're going to need it and soon I should think.

I don't think this is what they had in mind

The US government is giving taxpayers around $100 billion in tax rebates so that they can go out an buy IPhones, flat screen TVs and Hummers. It seems that instead the taxpayers are using it to pay bills. Now how are you going to stimulate the economy that way?

Today in infamy - "how far we haven't come" edition

On this day in 1869, one hundred and thirty nine years ago, Thomas Edison received a patent for a electric voting machine. I'll bet it had a paper trail!