I have read Tom Payne and you sir are no Tom Payne

By happenstance I happen to be reading Tom Payne's Common Sense and The Rights of Man. I also, quite unfortunately for me, stumbled on a video of the right wing American commentator Glenn Beck comparing himself to the 18th century British radical.

I find it appalling that this narcissist has managed to get away with this extraordinary comparison. I can only imagine that it is that Americans are no longer taught about Payne because he thinking is far too dangerous to the corporatocracy that rules the states today and that he so well serves.

The two of them have one area of agreement; a contempt for government. Outside of that there is no common ground. Payne believed religion to be a force of oppression. He believed the concept of real property to be theft by force. He was a class warrior who opposed the power of the few wealthy to increase the suffering of the masses. He demanded revolution to rectify the imbalance.

Beck by contrast wishes simply to enrich himself; to placate his corporate masters.
He is without shame.

You may live in your own world, you own mind, Mr. Beck but you are not worthy of mention in the same sentence.

I shall leave you with a quote:

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead."

Ken Starr is (a) President

Perenial tormentor of the Clintons, extravegent waster of taxpayer money and all around good guy, Ken Starr, is now President of Baylor University.

Expect Baylor to launch a series of investigations into the whereabouts of that goddamn cigar in the morning.

Don't forget the Neeps; don't forget the Tatties; and bloody well don't forget the Whiskey

Happy Burns' Night

Address to a Haggis

1.
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.

2.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hudies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

3.
His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut ye up wi' ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reeking, rich!

4.
Then horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit!' hums.

5.
Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

6.
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As fecl;ess as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Tho' bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit.

7.
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whistle;
An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned
Like taps o' thrissle.

8.
Ye pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware,
That jaups in luggies;
But if ye wish her gratfu' prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!

Another beautiful voice silenced

Kate McGarrigle dead at 59. I first heard her, and her sister, at the Philly Folk Festival in '70 or '71. Enjoy her here with her incredibly talented children. The video is poor but the music extraordinary.

An object lesson?

Last Wednesday, the 13th, was the 168th anniversary of an event that should, but probably will not, serve as a not so gentle reminder to both the US and the UK that Afghanistan is a place where empires go to die.

On the 6th of January 1842 roughly 4500 British soldiers and around 12,000 of their camp followers left Kabul with the intent of retreating to Hindustan. On 13 January, seven days later, one man, an Irish Doctor by the name of William Brydon arrived in Jalahalabad. No other survivors were ever recorded.

Perhaps we shall learn but I suspect we will not.

Happy birthday to me

My New Year's resolution is to bring this blog back to life with two or three posts a week. We'll see how we do.

PS - today is my birthday and as I'm off on the piss today won't be the start.

Come the revolution

HAPPY MAY DAY!

About this quantitive easing thing....

...if HM's government has cranked up the printing presses how come one still can't find a reasonably new fiver for love nor money?

I'm just asking.

Note: I may or may not have spent several minutes trying to get a ticket machine to take an ancient and revered five pound note this morning before re-queuing for the machine that would actually take debit cards....

Because the internet is there to help...

...Google Maps is happy to provide a H1N1 Swine Flu Map; although they do seem to have forgotten New Zealand.

Note to Israelis: this is also known as a Mexican Flu map so you don't have to mention the S***E!

I don't think the Mexicans are going to like this

According to Israel's Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman, a member of fundamentalist United Torah Judaism party, no one in Israel we be allowed to contract or die of the Swine Flu. All Israeli citizens will have to contract or die of the lesser known "Mexican Flu" instead. Well at least this pandemic didn't happen during Passover!

Note: I can just imagine hordes of American wing nuts heaping scorn and worse on any Muslim who might have made the same declaration. I wait with bated breath....

Shooting fish in a barrel

Over at Global Politician one Professor Barry Rubin tries to demonstrate his in depth knowledge of the Middle East by dissecting an argument made by a "young man" about that critical Middle Eastern country, Afghanistan; a country separated from the "Middle East" by hundreds of miles, if not more.

Perhaps there is a God....

...as Newt Gingrich, serial divorcer and general scumbag, considers seeking the Republi-con Presidential nomination next time around. Should he run I confess I am conflicted as to whether Mr. Gingrich or Ms. Palin might do the party more damage. Perhaps she would settle for second fiddle again.

Going, going, gone

The great Phillies broadcaster, Harry Kallas, is dead at 73.

Why do Americans hate America

They want cap and trade, gays in the military and the end to the senseless embargo of Cuba. Thank God America's not a democracy or some of these terrible things might actually happen!

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

It certainly wasn't in the Alanis Morissette song but it certainly seems to be in real life. An assistant bank manager in Scotland has been jailed for a little over a year for stealing £31,000 from customer accounts. In today's environment this seems rather curious. Perhaps her real crime was stealing ONLY £31,000. Had she stolen £31,000,000 or better yet £31,000,000,000 she probably would have been made a Dame!

I guess that Carol Barclay will have to accept her fifteen minutes of fame coming from the fact that she will almost certainly be the only HBOS employee to be punished for stealing money from taxpayers.

The green shoots of recovery!

There is a shoe shop in Bromley that has, for roughly the past 24 months, been advertising its "Going Out Of Business Sale". This evening on the way home I noticed that the large placards have been taken down and they are advertising their new "spring range"; possibly circa 2007.

Has anyone seen Rush Limbaugh?

Ten beached whales have been refloated off the west coast of Oz.

Sad, sad, sad

Nicholas Hughes, the only son of the poets Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath, has committed suicide in London. His mother famously committed suicide when Nicholas and his sister Freida were both infants.

All singing, all dancing!

Should you be in Beijing soon you really must make an effort to see Das Kapital - The Musical. I shit you not.

They will be heroes

Today is the 175th anniversary of the sentencing of the Tolpuddle Martyrs for having the temerity to form an insidious trade union. Thank God that can never happen today!

Strange enough to be true

The Daily Mash imagines some advice from Il Papa to the residents of Africa on safe sex.

All hail Honkball

The Dutch have beaten the Dominicans at baseball. No word if they might have slipped the Latino side a few space cakes before the match!

Murder Inc - "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney style

Investigative reporter extraordinaire, Sy Hersh, tells us that former US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney was running a hit squad out of his office. One can only hope that if America won't prosecute this scum bag, and lock him away for the rest of his (un)natural life, that he will eventually make the mistake of leaving the country and a true democracy will do it for us!

Nancy Reagan...

...baby killer. Who'd have thunk it, eh?

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Noted American evangelist Billy Graham defines Christianity as a cult! I quote:

"One characteristic of cults is that they strongly believe they alone are right in their beliefs and everyone else is wrong"

I find the fact that he then goes on, in the very same paragraph, to suggest that this seemingly does not apply to Christianity ("thus they reject the central truths of the Bible that Christians have held in common for almost 2,000 years and substitute their own beliefs for the clear teaching of Scripture") I assume to be untended but hilarious irony!

Why the Pope and all his evil minions are going to Hell

A nine year old Brazilian girl was raped and fell pregnant. She had an abortion on Wednesday. All of the medical staff who assisted in the termination are about to be ex-communicated for their part in this heinous act. The rapist however is undoubtedly still allowed to receive communion.

My day so far

Before 0405 - wake up

0405 - look at clock and realise it is 0405

0425 - give up battle to return to sleep

0425 to 0630 - shower, eat, drink coffee, write emails, do some work

0630 - depart for Bromley South

0652 - arrive Bromley South - notice that ALL TRAINS are delayed or cancelled due to "very severe weather conditions in Kent" (this means it got a bit chilly last night)

0659 - my 0704 train to Ramsgate is cancelled but 0736 train to Canterbury West is listed as "on time"

0731 - 0736 train apparently goes missing and is listed as delayed

0736 - 0830 - wait outside the barriers, occasionally popping off for a double espresso, whilst getting buffeted around for 3,127 commuters who, despite the rucksacks strapped to their backs, the kit bags over their shoulder or their hand bags the size of Luxembourg, naively fail to realise that they take up more space their body without the luggage.

0831 - just before going through barriers hear the following announcement: "the train now standing on platform 1 is the 0614 Blackfriar's service.

0832 - share chuckle with woman standing next to me

0842 - board marginally delayed 0736 Canterbury West train

0944 - arrive Lenham where all evidence of "very severe weather" has magically vanished and it is a lovely sunny spring morning.

0958 - arrive work and warn colleagues that today is not a day to fuck with me.

0958 - 1718 - work (it doesn't go very well)

1908 - arrive at the Partridge and begin consuming London Pride. This will continue until morale improves (or chucking out time arrives)

I thought that you should know.

What is 8.426149773176359....

...and the other joys of Square Root Day.

Hint: the answer is the 20th prime number.

Happy birthday Dr. Seuss

He would have been 105 today. He is the source of many fond memories from my childhood!

They see them here, they see them there, they see them everywhere!

Socialists. Socialists. Socialists. Socialists. Socialists. And I could go on and on and on but all of this reminds me of a song....