"Look at the size of his willy!"

Posh Spice waxes lyrical over the sight of her hubby in pants:

"I'm proud to see his penis 25ft tall...It's huge. It's enormous. Massive. If I looked like that I'd walk down the streets in my panties too."

I can only say how thankful I am that she doesn't look like that!

(Note to Americans: the headline as published in the Guardian is "Victoria Beckham and the 25ft penis". Don't you wish your newspapers would actually print that!)