It has finally been officially announced that, despite considerable opposition for the student body and faculty, Southern Methodist University has been the unlucky winner of the Captain Codpiece Library Sweepstakes. I reckon SMU can consider itself lucky that, as the library will house both every book the Captain has read and details of his accomplishments that the venerable institution is to be housed in an unused toilet cubicle in the Junior Varsity cheerleaders' locker room!
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