Kids on pilgrimage against climate change

Ninety schoolchildren from Exeter, aged 10 to 14, are to embark on a ninety mile pilgrimage from Canterbury to Downing Street to lobby for more government action on global warming. The walkers are expected to arrive in London on 26 October and hope to hand a petition to the Prime Minister.

I do worry, however, that there are ninety Mums following along behind the inspired hikers in their Range Rovers.

"Weldon's troubles now officially big news" - 4th International

The Trotskyites are on the case. This unimpeachable news source suggests that Mr. Weldon is not being targeted by the FBI because he's a corrupt, sleazy, no good little shit but because he accused the goernment of a cover up about 9/11.

Frankly I don't care why we get rid of him as long as we get rid of him!

The End is Nigh!

I mean it! I'm serious this time.

The goods news is that we really don't have to worry about climate change or running out of oil.

The bad news is that Russian scientists believe that planet Earth may be hid by a kilometre wide asteroid in 2035. Unfortunately they won't know any better until 2028.

Do you think this leaves enough time for the Phillies to win the world series again and for Crystal Palace to make it back into the Premiership?

Establishing a precedent

US Secretary of State went out of her way to meet with the son of assassinated journalist Anna Politkovskaya, during a trip to Moscow. Among other things Ms. Rice said "The fate of journalists in Russia is a major concern".

So is the fate of journalists in Iraq. Perhaps, now that the Secretary of State has broken the ice, Donald Rumsfeld will see fit to meet the wife and daughter of ITN journalist who was "unlawfully killed" by American troops in Iraq. The US Army refused to allow the soldiers involved to testify and have done their best to obstruct the investigation in his death. I suspect that, behind the scenes, the US government is doing everything in their power to ensure that there is no indictment and trial.

A recipe!

Once a month the Observer includes a special, glossy food magazine. It is normally full of reviews, recipes et al. You know the drill.

Yesterday's edition included a recipe that I would like to share with you.

Hashish fudge

This is a classic recipe from the 1954 Alice B Toklas Cookery Book, which I came across in one of my Mum's cookbooks. It's a bit of a giggle and you're never quite sure how tongue-in-cheek she's being - in the intro Alice recommends it as 'an interesting refreshment for a Ladies' Bridge Club' - can she be serious? Nowadays, the medicinal qualities of marijuana are understood better and it is used as an effective, natural pain relief by people with arthritis, MS and IBS, as well as the less drastic symptoms of period pains. Very figgy, spicy and sticky.

Makes about 20 pieces

1 tsp black peppercorns
1 tsp coriander seeds
a scratch of nutmeg
¼ tsp ground cinnamon (I don't like cinnamon, so I substituted the seeds from a vanilla pod, which worked out really well)
a handful of stoned dates (ha ha)
a handful of dried figs
a handful of flaked almonds
a bunch of Cannabis sativa leaves (or you can just crumble in some hash or weed)
140g light brown sugar
125g butter

Toast the peppercorns and the coriander seeds in a small frying pan on a high heat until they start to smell wonderful. Put them with some nutmeg scrapings and the cinnamon (if you wish) into a pestle and mortar/coffee grinder and pulverise.

Chop the fruit and nuts and mix them in a bowl. Sprinkle on the spices and add the cannabis in whatever form you have - if it's leaves, they will have to be pounded first (i.e. in the pestle and mortar with the seeds and cinnamon), but hash or weed can be crumbled in with the other spices.

Dissolve the sugar and the butter in a heavy-based saucepan over a low heat. When the sugar has melted, the mixture will be separated: melted butter floating on top of a slightly bubbling brown sugary goo. Slowly bring to the boil - don't let it catch on the bottom of the pan - stirring briskly with a wooden spoon until the mixture starts to boil and come together. Keep stirring until it is a thicker, foamier texture. Mix in the fruity bits, take off the heat and beat thoroughly. The fruit will break down and make it even smoother. (If you are left with a little melted butter in the pan, drain it off, and use some kitchen paper to de-grease the fudge mix.)

Line a tray with a piece of buttered greaseproof paper and push the fudge into it, or Alice suggests rolling it into individual, walnut-sized pieces. Cool to room temperature in the larder overnight, in the fridge if you're in a hurry, or in the freezer if you're desperate.

Shelf life: weeks and weeks.

Best kept: in an airtight box in the larder or fridge.

I am willing to bet that you won't be finding this in the Sunday Inquirrer anytime soon!

Propping up the family

You have to admire the considerable family loyalty of the Bush clan. When George W's business ventures ran into trouble, as they invariably did, Daddy's buddies where always there to lend a helping hand. This demonstration of the altruism of the rich is truly inspiring.

We know that Mum and Dad have helped to shore up brother Neil's enterprises as well. George and Babs invested money in Neil's educational software company, Ignite. Now we find out that funds from the No Child (of mine) Left Behind act are being used to purchase Neil's products. NCLB money, which is intended to be focused on literacy and numeracy skills in disadvantaged schools, is being used by some school systems to purchase software from Ignite which does not have a literacy product and whose maths programmes will not be available until 2007.

The family that sticks together runs the country!

Lighting up Lebanon

I am sure that the chorus of international condemnation of the Israeli use of phosphorus weapons in Lebanon, which they have now admitted, is already underway. I just can't here it. Israeli spokesmen said that the use of these weapons, severely restricted under international law, "did not contravene international norms".

Spinning like a top

What happens when a spin doctor stops spinning? We recently found out when Alberto Fernandez, director of public diplomacy for the US State Department's Bureau of Near Eastern Affairs, was interviewed, in Arabic, by al-Jazeera television. Mr. Fernandez was quoted as saying that we are "witnessing failure in Iraq...not the failure of the United States alone but...disaster for the region. I think there is great room for strong criticism, because without doubt, there was arrogance and stupidity by the United States in Iraq." The State Department later claimed that he had been misinterpreted but BBC Arabic experts disagree with a spokesman saying "I can only assume his remarks must have been mistranslated. Those comments obviously don't reflect our policy". (No - they just reflect your performance!)

Once the English language version became available and, one assumes, under less than subtle encouragement from his superiors he said that he had indeed used those words but had not meant them. At least he remains true to his chosen profession.

Gilad Atzmon - Jewish antisemite

Is it possible for a Jew to be anti-Semitic?

Pizza Express is getting stick for hosting a series of performances by Gilad Atzmon, an Israeli saxophonist. He is Jewish and he has served in the IDF but that doesn't stop some in Israel from accusing him of anti-Semitism. Jewish groups in Britain and Israel have called for the performances to be cancelled.

He is defiantly opposed to zionism and racism (against Arabs as against Jews). Many of his views are clearly controversial even if they didn't come from a Jewish source.

Is this just another case of opposition to zionism being equated with anti-Semitism? If we are asking (perhaps demanding) Muslims to be critical of Islam and the desire for a Muslim homeland (the caliphate) shouldn't we also ask (or at least tolerate) Jews and Christians to be critical of their religions and their states?

I report. You decide. A summary of his political thinking may be found here.

Department of creeping Americanism

Halloween in Britain used to be a bit of an afterthought. People would use it as an excuse to do themselves up in fancy dress and go on the piss but there wasn't much of a general celebration. The autumn holiday was always Guy Fawkes night (aka bonfire night) when people would gather in their back gardens around a bonfire, usually in the rain, and fail to set off fireworks while celebrating the gruesome execution of a Catholic insurrectionary centuries ago.

Retailers have however worked out that there is money to be made and Britain is likely to spend £120 million this year on sweets, costumes and decorations.

I'd still rather see kids dragging around an effigy of Guy Fawkes and asking for "a penny for the Guy" than have a bunch of strange kids show up at my door asking for candy.

Giving new meaning to the term "phone sex"

If your sex live isn't what it used to be and there's no sign of an office romance on the horizon perhaps you should consider a career change. Reports from India tell us that the call centre boom there has led to promiscuity and other sorts of fun. As usual the Catholic church is not amused.

And you were wondering why you spend so much time on hold when trying to ring your bank!

Will they throw away their TVs now?

When reports, now discredited, linked the MMR vaccination to autism there was a reduction in the rate of children getting the jab in the UK as parents, responding to the media hysteria, refused the combined injection. This has led to a subsequent increase in measles and mumps infection rates.

An American study now reports that increased rates of autism may actually be related to television viewing.

Somehow I suspect that the reaction won't be as extreme and that the study's findings may not be announced on Faux News.

Personally I don't know about autism but I'm sure that watching TV can make you stupid.

Divorce update: McCartney v. McCartney

Does anyone give a shit?

Make way for the loutettes

The largest study of its kind has ranked British and Irish women as the world's biggest drinkers. According to the survey one out of three British women drinks four units of alcohol or more(a half pint of beer or a small wine equals one unit) at least once a fortnight.

A woman going out every other week and having two pints of beer doesn't seem that much to me. Have I lived here too long?

Tough on Iraq, tough on the causes of Iraq

If you have kids you must know how this is going to turn out.

You want your thirteen year old son to tidy up his room. First you wait for him to just recognise that it needs to be done and go ahead and sort it out. After a few days with no results you try just a gentle hint at breakfast time over porridge and tea. When that doesn't work you send his favourite uncle around to have a chat. By now his room resembles a toxic waste dump and you are worried that the council is about to send the environment officer round. It is time to get tough. You set a deadline for action and if nothing happens there will be consequences. No play station. No MTV. Home straight after school. (This is bound to work isn't it? I don't know - I haven't got kids.)

This is the approach that it appears that UK and American governments have decided to take to resolve the problems in Iraq. From this morning's Guardian:

Headline one - Blair gives Iraq 12 months to be ready for handover - that should do it don't you think? Blair is to meet the Iraqi deputy prime minister (does he have two Jags?), Barham Saleh, at Downing Street today. He plans to tell Mr. Saleh that Iraqi forces have less than a year to be able to take over from British forces.

Headline two - Disarm the militias and take control - White House issues demands to embattled PM - this story includes the suggestion that "if Iraq fails to meet the crucial milestones, then US officials hold open the possibility of sanctions". What are we going to do stop selling them guns? Ban the export of Coke? Shut the Pizza Huts and McDonalds?

Doesn't always seem that the simplest and best solutions to your problems are always right in front of you staring you in the face. It's a wonder we didn’t think of this two years ago.

Rancho del arbusto

Has George Bush given up on his plans to retire quietly to Crawford Texas and wait for history to anoint him America's greatest president? Rumours abound that Bush has bought 100,000 acres in Paraguay. While there are those who postulate that the purchase is related to gaining control over one of the planet's largest aquifers I prefer to take in account the fact that the US - Paraguay extradition treaty has appears to have an exception for political offences. Paraguay is also a major transit country for illegal narcotics especially cocaine so if he puts in an air strip perhaps he is just looking to set the twins up in business young young Jemma having recently made an appearance in the country.

Wasting technology

Scientists at Cornell have constructed a robotic chair that falls apart and then reassembles itself. Wouldn't it have been simpler to simply find a cabinetmaker whose work isn't shite?

Does Spam evolve?

I was just going through my Spam folder and I notice a subtle change in content. These cowboy marketeers no longer concerned with the length of my penis. (Is it longer now or have they simply given up?) However they now seem extremely worried about its girth.

What do you think this means? Is there an evolutionary advantage for girth over length?

No news is better than bad news!

How many civilians are dying in Iraq? Well the US doesn't count them but the UN is supposed to. Now the Iraqi government says that they can't have access to the data. This measure comes a week after the British publication the Lancet released figures suggesting that as many as 650,000 more civilians have died since the US invasion than would have died otherwise. They have been very explicit about their methodology.

The White House reaction has been that study's results are "not credible" but they fail to mention why. Given that the Iraqi government has now shut off the source of the raw data that has led many others to develop lower estimates what else do we have to rely on?

This sounds hauntingly familiar!

Headline in the Washington Post Israeli War Plan Had No Exit Strategy.

It must be catching.

Praying for cold

Faith based ecology? Don't sneer! It seems that it's the latests trend in the religiosphere.

The statement signed by sixty or so well known evangelists may be found here.

Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were weak

So says former Attorney General John Ashcroft on the Daily Show. He said (I paraphrase) "pacifism is weak you have to fight back".

So terrorists are strong because they fight back?

I imagine his favourite song must be Macho Man.

You can tell a macho, he has a funky walk
his western shirts and leather, always look so boss
Funky with his body, he's a king
call him Mister Eagle, dig his chains
You can best believe that, he's a macho man
likes to be the leader, he never dresses grand!

I am now officially old!

My youth is now to found in a museum. London's Science Museum is hosting an exhibition of early video games including Space Invaders and Pong. Oh dear.

Will she be weeping?

Next week sees the 120th anniversary of the Statue of Liberty in New York. This has not been a vintage year for Miss Liberty.

She has been witness to the continuing tragedy that is Iraq.

She has seen then enactment of the Military Commissions Act of 2006 which legitimises torture and suspends (or eliminates) habeas corpus.

She has seen forty five executions in her homeland.

Perhaps most ironically she has seen a bid to build a wall across the US Mexican border progress in the Congress.

I will leave Emma Lazarus to speak for her.

The New Colossus
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
with conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
a mighty woman with a torch
whose flame is imprisoned lightning,
and her name Mother of Exiles.

From her beacon-hand glows
world-wide welcome;
her mild eyes command the air-bridged harbor
that twin cities frame.
"Keep ancient lands your storied pomp!"
cries she with silent lips.

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

I think next Saturday at noon I shall observe two minutes of silence in her honour. Feel free to join me. It is, I hope, not too late.

What exactly did Bush see in Putin's soul?

Russian President Vladimir Putin thought the mikes were off. He was wrong. This is the result."

Say hi to your president. He turned out to be quite a powerful person. He raped 10 women. We’re all amazed. We all envy him."

This is the man about whom President Bush said:

"I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straight forward and trustworthy and we had a very good dialogue.

I was able to get a sense of his soul."

Now that his buddy has endorsed him perhaps it will facilitate a state visit to Washington for Israeli President Moshe Katsav.

White kids and racial / ethnic attitudes

It would be interesting to see this research repeated in America. I'm of two minds as to how it might turn out.

The British government has been telling the Asian community, especially its Muslim component, that is has to do more to fit in but this research shows that white youths view themselves as racially superior and have little interest in learning about other religions. In general the attitude of white kids has more to gain from mixed school than that of children of other communities.

Any ideas how this would turn out in the states?

Is this the beginning of the end?

Baghdad is a state of anarchy and the battle to control it may be lost. Amarah, recently vacated or perhaps abandoned by British troops is slipping or has already slipped out of coalition control into that of Moqtada al-Sadr's Shia militia.

The country as a whole is in a state of mayhem and both the British and Americans are looking for a way out although I'm not certain that leaving Albania, Azerbaijan, El Salvador, Estonia, Kazakhstan, FYR Macedonia, and Mongolia in charge is a such a good idea. It can only be a matter of time before someone revives that old chestnut "peace with honor". The cowardly and traitorous liberal media continue the President's vision.

Meanwhile George W. Bush does what he has done throughout his life when his own efforts have caused things to go tits up; he goes running to Daddy's friends.

Somehow I doubt that history will be kind.

More do as we say

I can only ask who they believe the enemy to be who warrants these.

We accuse and attack Iran and North Korea for violations of the Non-proliferation treaty (the later certainly is guilty) but wouldn’t this new generation of weapons violate American obligation under that selfsame same treaty?

I cite Article VI in full (my empahsis):

Each of the Parties to the Treaty undertakes to pursue negotiations in good faith on effective measures relating to cessation of the nuclear arms race at an early date and to nuclear disarmament, and on a treaty on general and complete disarmament under strict and effective international control.

How many billions of dollars of corporate welfare will this represent and who will benefit? You can bet that you will find most of them on the Republican donor rolls.

Carnivorous christians

That's who Kurt Weldon (R - PA) is going to have end up relying on; meat eating Catholics and Protestants. His devotion to pork is so extreme that he is going to have to give up on the Jewish, Muslim, vegetarian and vegan vote. He also stands to lose much of the Hindu and Buddhist vote as well. This is not such a good thing in what is proving to be a very tight race.

It seems as if he can't even rely on his own staff.

Note: If Joe Sestak wins it would be the first time that I would actually be represented by someone I voted for!

If you aren't with us - you're against us!

It is now time to welcome the newest member of the axis of evil. A quick reminder of existing members:

• Iran
• North Korea
• Cuba
• Syria
• Iraq ("Hey. No. They're good guys now." - "Sorry.")
• Libya ("Good guys.")
• Pakistan ("Where the hell your head at homes? They're good guys too. Just cut to the new guys willya?")

So say hello the newest of our enemies (drum roll) -the International Committee of the Red Cross. Why don't those damn Swiss just stick to cheese, watches and chocolate and leave the politicking to the big boys?

I say let's welcome them to the list of our foes. Unlike those damn terrorists who like to hide and are hard to find the ICRC drive about in well marked vehicles and are easy to hit.