In which I thank the Heritage Foundation...

...for their helpful article "Twelve Principles to Guide U.S. Energy Policy" by Stuart M. Butler, Ph.D., who has worked for the Heritage Foundation for nearly thirty years and therefore has a balanced view of life in general and energy in particular, and Kim R. Holmes, Ph.D., who used to work for the Decider(TM) and therefore has a balanced view of life in general and energy in particular. These twelve principles, with my interpretations in italics are as follows:

1) Avoid costly environmental regulatory mandates that will achieve little environmental gain. In other words avoid all environmental mandates.

2) Rely on the private sector's research and development capabilities. This helps your mates make money and avoids the complications involved in gagging government scientists who refuse to see the truth.

3) Urge government agencies to learn from the private sector. This can be accomplished by top bureaucrats and other officials by leaving the government for highly paid private sector positions as lobbyists.

4) Make all sources of energy within U.S. borders accessible. Fuck the trees, the animals, the forests, the tundra and anything else that gets in the bloody way.

5) Remove artificial constraints on the domestic energy infrastructure, including unnecessarily severe environmental regulations See number 1).

6) Ensure that any effort to reduce reliance on foreign oil is grounded in policies that are best for the economy. Your friends at ExxonMobil have already determined what is best for the economy so that you don't have to bother working this out for yourself. "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney has all of the appropriate phone numbers.

7) Manage risks to critical energy infrastructure as a responsibility shared jointly by the government and the private sector. In other words anything related to energy infrastructure that generates profit is shared by the private sector and anything in the same realm that generates loss is shared by the taxpayers.

8) Establish effective risk communications for energy issues. Make sure you have friends on the inside who can provide you with the appropriate information to allow you to maximise your portfolio through the purchase of energy futures at just the right time.

9) Develop foreign policies that thwart the capacity of coercive regimes to employ energy supplies as an economic weapon. If they won't do your bidding invade their countries, convert them to Christianity and execute anyone in the government who knows to much.

10) Sustain access to the global marketplace. See number 8).

11) Discourage restrictive international regimes See number 8).

12) Recognize that not all trading partners are equal. See number 8).

I hope that this helps!