How more British taches could return us to the glory of the empire

No less an authority than the Daily Mail tells us that it was the great British moustache that ensured that the sun never set on the British Empire. These days, in England at least, such facial hair is the exclusive reserve of coppers, northerners and those-alternative-people-who-Senator-Larry-Craig-might-have-been-looking-for-if-he-was-what-he-is-alleged-to-be-(but-isn't) all we have left is Hong Kong Malta the Falklands and Gibraltar. So I want to see lots of new hair by this time next week.

We can rule the world again!