In my day notches on the bed post were more of the norm

But today you can mount your shotgun on your bed! This will make it so much easier for fat-arse Americans to kill people without having to get out of bed; thereby reducing the terrible inconvenience that a fatal shooting in your home can cause.



Key phrase - "The smartest money you'll spend in your life."

Their website is here.

From their extremely entertaining FAQs:

3. I already have a shotgun handy. Why not keep it where I have it?

Because you would have to get up and find it, losing valuable time.

6. I sleep on the right side of the bed. Can I use it there?

Because of the our unique patented design, you can adjust (sic) to fit on either side of the bed and place it where it is handy for you. If fact, we suggest you have Back-Ups on both sides of the bed.

7. I travel a lot for business or hunting. Is it portable?

Yes it is very light and portable. The unique patented design and construction gives you the ability to collapse it easily for travel, and place it where you need it. (They forgot to ask if you can take it as carry-on.)

9. Will I keep bumping my knees?

The Back-Ups (sic) unique patented design keeps your shotgun close the bed, well out of the way when getting in and out of bed. Not only that, it is hidden by your blanket and covers.

No will someone please tell this is a piss take? The address is in Newark DE far too close to where my sister and nieces live for comfort.