Yank in London
occasional musings on politics, culture and life in general from an american in exile


"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

Tom Paine - Common Sense

"A republic, sir, if you can keep it."

Benjamin Franklin

"War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"

Norman Whitfield / Barrett Strong

30 September 2007
  A hiatus
After nearly fifteen years some of my family have finally decided to visit me. They arrive on Saturday, 22/9, for a week's visit and bit with their shiny new passports. So posting shall be light to non-existent through 30/9. Any new posts will appear below this in the interim.

Enjoy the silence!

Update: I've survived three days and, as I sent them off to the theatre tonight, had a few hours for a few posts (found below). Don't know if I'll be back before Sunday.
  17:45:00 3 comments links to this post
  The Freedom Agenda
Pakistanis demonstrating against the enlightened rule of President Pervez "The General" Musharraf strayed outside of the designated, if tiny, free speech zone and were quite rightly beaten by the police. Captain Codpiece is believed to have rung The General and offered his congratulations.

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  This isn't sporting!
But then we have a Vice President who likes hunting tame birds so I reckon that baiting Iraqis to their death probably isn't banned in the rules of engagement.

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  14:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Shareholder value! Shareholder value!
So where does the Burmese junta get the money to keep on going despite sanctions and global disapproval. Pick an oil company. Go on. Pick one!

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  Connecticut Bishops to go to Hell!
Agree to allow baby killing in their hospitals. Il Papa wants to know where the hell Connecticut is.

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  No Newts!
The Newtster will not run for the Presidential nomination of the Repugnican Party.

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  Let's bomb Iran
Before you disregard this story about Captain Codpiece's plans to bomb Iran before he leaves office remember that the Telegraph is a committed right wing newspaper.

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  12:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Just plain wrong
John McCain, playing to the Republican base, grossly misinterprets the thinking of the framers of the US Constitution.

"I would probably have to say yes, that the Constitution established the United States of America as a Christian nation."

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  All fall down
Yesterday at Sellafield...

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  12:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Oh dear
Another sign that the American economy is clearly cruising along effortless is to be found in the fact that one Canadian dollar is now worth more than one US dollar for the first time in over three decades.

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  "Hey Mahmoud we're right here!"
It turns out that there are gays in Iran after all. Ahmadinejad must not be hanging out in the right places.

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  12:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  A good question
In today's Observer Joanna Bourke asks "Can terrorism destroy democracy?" Personally I don't think that it can unaided but it can, and there is significant demonstrable evidence of this already, allow democracy to destroy itself.

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  12:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Tory double bluff
Fresh faced young Tory leader David Cameron has used the occasion of the opening of the party conference to call for a snap election. The problem with this of course is that, as the opposition leader, he actually cannot call for a snap election. Details, details.

The other problem is that his party is looking extremely vulnerable in the polls and, barring extraordinary events which cannot be ruled out, is likely to be defeated and lose ground as well should the Prime Minister decide that this is a propitious time to go to the people.

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  12:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Phighting Phils update
Well, it's not exactly 1964 but they still have immense potential to disappoint.

This isn't any easier from 3,000 miles away.

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29 September 2007
  Today in interior design
The Senator Larry (Still Not Gay - ID) Craig memorial gents toilets at Minneapolis airport are set to get a make over with new dividers to protect those not at all gay individuals with wide stances who use them from unwanted approaches by the local police.

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  The market has spoken
And Blackwater USA should be rewarded for its shooting of Iraqi civilians with a new 92 million USD contract by the Pentagon. Bubbly all around then!

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  Japan wants to eliminate ALL nuclear weapons
I assume that Captain Codpiece is not amused.

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  10:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  It works! We are saved!
The US finally managed to shoot something down in a "successful" text of the son-of-the-son-of-the-son-of-Star Wars missile defence system.

I assume this means that we don't have to invade Iran now!

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  10:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy
One year ago today US Representative Mark (Ex-Gay - FL) resigned from the House after news of his less than pure pursuit of underage, male Congressional pages came to light.

Where is he now?

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  10:41:00 0 comments links to this post
  Impeachment is too good for him
If this story is true, that there was a possibility before the illegal invasion of Iraq in 2003 that Saddam Hussein could have been allowed to go into exile with some of his money, then I don't know what punishment Captain Codpiece should receive but he should not be allowed to go quietly into his retirement and "make some money".

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  10:26:00 0 comments links to this post
  Attack of the killer amoeba
You may wish to think twice about swimming in an American lake. The Naegleria fowleri amoeba, which enters the human body and eats the brain, is becoming more common in American waters as water temperatures rise. So think before you swim.

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  10:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  Well as long as the bloody fish aren't gay
It appears that the fall from grace of Senator Larry (Not Now and Never Has Been Gay - ID) might mean good news for salmon in the Pacific Northwest. This assumes that the not at all gay Senator ever becomes a not at all ex-gay ex-Senator.

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  10:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  Captain Codpiece's bad parenting
Clearly President Bush and the missus have failed as good, Christian parents. How else can one explain that his daughter Jenna has written a book in which she says, and I quote, "the best way to protect yourself from HIV is to be faithful to your partner and use a condom". Whatever happened to the abstinence thing?

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  Phighting Phils update
Well what do you know? The Phillies are in first as of 29/9! What's the magic number?

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  10:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  Tory desperation?
David Cameron is obviously worried about the prospect of an early election. And what does a true Conservative do when he or she is behind in the polls? Get their middle class tax cuts out.

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  09:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  It's lonely at the top
Pity poor George W. Bush. The Chinese and the Indians want no part of his bizarre efforts to lead us boldly into a CO2-less future and Europeans have told him to fuck off. This is what happens when one comes late to the party.

And what exactly is the Decider's big idea on climate change? No limits, no targets. I think of it as the Woodstock solution. Maybe if we try real hard we can stop the CO2. He truly is a man of his generation, isn't he?

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28 September 2007
  Get your conspiracy theories right here!
Archbishop Francisco Chimoio is the head of the Roman Catholic Church in Mozambique. He also appears to be a bit, well, confused. He seems to think that condoms smothered in the HIV virus are being used to eliminate Africans.

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  Topsy turvy world
The US is officially a sectarian state, if you don't believe this to be true you should stop reading now and go brush up on the Constitution and the Federalist Papers, and yet the teaching of the Christian creation myth as science is making inroads across the country.

The UK is officially a Christian state and yet the teaching of creationism as science in banned in the country's schools.

WTF, over?

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  Mercenaries are a very bad idea
If you don't believe me, and I won't be hurt if you don't, read this.

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  The Curt Weldonmobile comes to Baghdad
The badly designed, poorly made, used V-22 Osprey is set to make its combat debut in Iraq. If Hollywood ever makes an Osprey Down feature film and it's a success there should be no shortage of sequels.

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  12:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  We report - you decide
Huntsville AL is planning nuclear fallout shelters for 300,000 people. The shelter space is required either because al Qaeda has Huntsville high on it list of target cities in America, probably due to faulty intelligence, or because of concerns over plans to build two new nuclear power plants nearby.

My vote is for the second option.

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  12:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  Is our childrens healing?
Not if Captain Codpiece gets his way.

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  11:43:00 0 comments links to this post
  Is our childrens learning?

Not in Florida! Or in Michigan for that matter as that is where the above photo is from.

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  11:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  No meaningless loyalty oath left behind
Around fifty students at Boulder (CO) High School are continuing their protests and boycott of the mechanical recitation of the pledge of allegiance during class time when they should be busy with rote learning in order to pass the tests that the Decider(TM) has imposed on schools thereby preventing any real teaching.

Oh, and they also don't like the (blatantly unconstitutional) "under God" bit. Before all of the traditionalists get pissed off at me for wanting to change our country's founders desires they should remember that "under God" bit in the pledge was slipped in during 1954 whilst the country was busy looking for commies under their beds.

I should also note that I, along with several others, was suspended from my alma mater, Unionville (PA) High School, for refusing to stand during the pledge; a punishment that was later lifted after a complicated comprimise agreement.
My congratulations and support to the Boulder protestors!

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  Progress report
Afghanistan this time. It looks as if hard won territory, taken by British troops this summer, is likely to be lost over the winter and will have to be fought over once again next year.

This is a damn shame as things seem to be going swimmingly elsewhere in the country!

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  Canadian currency crisis
The falling US dollar and rising Canadian dollar is having a severe and negative impact on exports of Cannabis sativa to the United States. Will the Bank of Canada intervene?

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  In memorium
Wolfgang Panofsky; physicist, Manhattan Project team member and peace activist; dead at 88.

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  10:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Jesus saves Jena!
He must be fond of the letter "J".

No word on why Jesus hung the nooses in the tree in the first place.



I assume that the calls for District Attorney Walters resignation in light of his clear disdain for the separation of church and state, as demonstrated by his allowing Jesus to do his job for him, are already deafening. Or, given that this is Louisiana, he will be running for Governor soon.

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  10:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  Lights out in Britain
High energy light bulbs to be phased out in the UK by 2012. Already phased out in my flat!

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  A case for intervention
What do you suppose would happen in Myanmar, which our President believes to called Burma, if the United States and the west told the junta "stop killing your people" or our military will be there in about six weeks time, they will kick your arse and deliver you to the ICC for trial? After all these are people, unlike the Iraqis before the illegal invasion and occupation, who are clearly demonstrating their desire for the removal of their undemocratic, illegal and repressive regime. I also hear that there are many lovely flowers in Myanmar.

Oh, wait a second. They haven't any oil. I'm just being silly.

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  Headline of the day
"Bush under the microscope at Washington climate talks".

Apparently they are looking for either his conscience or his brain. No word if they had any success in this regard.

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  10:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  Communism infiltrates British business
The Cardiff Chamber of Commerce is calling for user fees on the roadways which would force motorists to pay their own way and surrender their God given right to drive anywhere they want, any time they want and be subsidised by the taxpayer.

Why does the Cardiff Chamber of Commerce hate freedom? (I've always been suspicious of those Welsh. I mean can you really trust rugby playing miners who can sing?)

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  10:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  The future's bright, the future's Brown
Sometime this weekend we should expect British Prime Minister Gordon Brown to wake up and say to the missus: "I love the smell of ballots in the morning, they smell like victory". Then the fun is on.

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  10:16:00 0 comments links to this post
  Captain Codpiece's new green suit
The Decider(TM) has convened his owned private party in which the rich nations would decide how to resolve the problem of global climate change without impacting the profits of multinational oil companies.

Is it just me or does he look like shit in green?

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  10:11:00 6 comments links to this post
  The phighting Phils...
...are now tied for first place in the NL East with the Mets.

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  10:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  He's back
Senator Larry Craig (No Gay - ID) remains a US Senator and has used the occasion of his vote in the Senate to prove he continues in his non-gayness but voting against a bill that would have protected gays, amongst others, from hate crimes.

Nice one Larry.

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  What do you mean other families are allowed to be President?
Is it time to break the family deadlock on the White House? 40% of Americans have never lived when there was anyone other than a Bush or Clinton as President.

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27 September 2007
  What does that look like to you?

The US Navy is to spend 600K USD to remodel a barracks in San Diego that looks exactly like a swastika when viewed on Google Earth.
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  We're number one!
Blackwater USA shoots more Iraqis than any other mercenary organisation in Iraq.

May I be the first to offer my heartfelt congratulations?

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  "Is our children learning?"
Yes - our "childrens" is!

What a fucking prat!

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  10:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Whadaya know?
We still got a pennant race. Quite an accomplishment without a functioning pitching staff.

Nonetheless as a third generation and long suffering Phillies fan I have no doubt that they will disappoint once again!

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  10:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bill-o doomed!
The fate of Faux News bigot talk show host Bill O'Reilly has been sealed. The story of his amazement over the fact that black folk have table manners has been picked up by the Guardian.

So long Bill-o; it ain't been good to know you.

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  Democrats to try to pass hate crime bill
Hope to confuse Republicans into thinking it is an opportunity to state clearly that they "hate crime".

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  10:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I fart in your general direction"
Watch Bill Donohue, the strident and irrational face of the American Catholic League, tell us that an argument is flatulent on Crooks and Liars.

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  You have been warned!
John Sawers, the British ambassador to the United Nations, said yesterday that "the age of impunity is dead and people will be held accountable for their actions they take". So I reckon this means that Captain Codpiece can expect prosecution for his war crimes.

Uh oh. Wait a minute. He was talking about Myanmar. Nevermind.

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  09:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  Show us the money
What's another 42 billion USD amongst friends? After all the future of western civilisation as we know it is at risk.

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26 September 2007
  My pet goat
The city of Seattle looks set to allow residents to keep goats as pets. Personally I believe this is a last minute attempt to lure the Captain Codpiece Presidential Library away from Texas.

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  I'm sure they were just harmless pranks
Two separate incidents in which nooses were left on the belongings of black cadets at the US Coast Guard Academy are finally under investigation after complaints from Congressman Elijah E. Cummings (D - MD). Rumours that the cadets in question are from Jena LA cannot be confirmed at this time.

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  An "I" country is looking to flout international rules on nuclear weapons
Let's invade!!

Oh, wait just a second buddy. The "I" country is Israel. Never mind.

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  12:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Just what do they think they are protecting?
The US's Environmental "Protection" Agency is set to approve the use of methyl iodide, a toxic fumigant, for use on crops despite opposition from the state of California, prominent scientists, environmental groups and farmworkers.

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  12:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  This week in infamy
It is fifty years since the federal government had to use the Army to force the city of Little Rock AR to allow black students to attend their public schools.

We've come a long way, haven't we?

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  12:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  In baseball news
Biggest steroid bust ever; Barry Bonds unable to play.

We report; you decide.

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  12:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Whilst we are on the subject...
...of things that Captain Codpiece isn't listening to 93%, that's 93%, of Americans say that they want a president who will address environmental issues. Why aren't you listening Georgie?

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  11:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  Do as we say not as we do
Amnesty International has taken the Decider(TM) to task for deciding to decide to call for a renewal of human rights across the globe in his speech at the United Nations whilst cleverly ignoring the fact that violations of human rights by the United States, in the name of the Eternal Global War on Terra, are ever increasing. Not that he or his minions will take any notice of either the criticism or the hypocrisy.

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  11:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why can't Captain Codpiece read?
Really. He's a middle aged man with a master's degree from a Ivy League university. So why oh why do the folks who run the teleprompter when he's speaking have to spell things phonetically?

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  Headline of the day
"Sex Pistols reunion is expanded"

Does this mean Sid is coming back?

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25 September 2007
  For your listening pleasure
A Philly (area) girl performing live in London. Pink with "Dear Mr. President".

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  19:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Let's face it - the rich are all bastards!
So this geezer should be honoured to be the Decider's Pater's pool boy and stop whinging.

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  19:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Sometimes the good guys win
Gordon Brown's government has been forced into a climbdown, although I'm sure that they will spin it so it is not a climbdown, and it would appear that the Remploy factories slated for closure will remain open, saving the jobs of thousands of disabled people.
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  Coming soon - a royal warrant with your gear!
Prince Chuck has declared Britain's first (legal) cannabis garden open. William and Harry promise to spend more time with Pater.

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  So why are there any kids in Liverpool?
Men with deep voices have more kids than men with high pitched voices.

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  19:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  I am just wondering
Do you think that Idaho Senator Larry "Not Now and Never Have Been Gay" Craig has any Persian blood in him? It sounds as if he would fit right in.

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  19:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I'm sorry Senator Craig...
...we agreed no mulligans.

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  18:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Frankly - God told us to sack you"
Steve Bitterman was an instructor at Southwestern Community College in Red Oak Iowa.
I say was because Mr. Bitterman claims that he was sacked after some of his (entirely reasonable) students threatened legal action after he said that he believed that the completely believable story of Adam and Eve should not be taken literally.

I would say that he has quite a good case for constructive dismissal. Unfortunately he lives in Iowa where I suspect the law will be less employee friendly.

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  18:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  We may have given them a democracy but who told them they could do what they want?
The Iraqi government is taking steps that could lead to mercenaries operating in the war torn country being stripped of their immunity from prosectuion. You will recall that the immunity these mercenaries were gifted this immunity under the reign of an American Viceroy who shall remain nameless.

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  18:26:00 7 comments links to this post
  In which I have a brilliant idea
Perhaps if we told people the vaccine was for bladder cancer it wouldn't make them go out and have wanton and illicit sex immediately after the injection like it does when we tell them the same shot is for a sexually transmitted disease.

What do you reckon?

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  What Bill-o learned this week
Black folks don't talk with their mouths full just like real people do and it found this knowledge very surprising.

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  18:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  What do Jesus and Hitler have in common?
Glenn Beck.

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  18:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  The up side of socialised medicine
Somehow I missed this during Rudy's visit last week but apparently he claimed, with no facts to back it up of course, that he probably would have died from his prostate cancer if he had to rely on the NHS.

In related news if you missed the piece in the Guardian yesterday where 16 NHS workers went to a screening of Sicko and then commented on the film, on American health care and the NHS then go read it. I think the Americans amongst will find it especially enlightening.

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  Compare and contrast
If you peacefully voice your opposition to President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad you are lauded by diplomats.

If you peacefully oppose the Decider(TM) you get arrested. They probably just strayed outside of the "free speech zone".

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  17:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  It must be the deep fried Mars bars!
Our Celtic friends to the north are nearly as fat as our friends across the great water and closing.

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  17:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Was that an earthquake or....
Is it really a good idea to build a storage facility for toxic nuclear waste on top of a fault line?

Just a question.

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  17:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Who says that Americans have no sense of irony?
According to the inestimable Evening Bulletin out of Philadelphia Captain Codpiece thinks that Democrats have no fiscal discipline.

I don't know about you but it brought a cynical smile to my face!

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  [Silence]
Marcel Marceau est mort.

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22 September 2007
  I'm going to miss the -
The hyphen is not yet dead but it's not feeling all that well if the Oxford English Dictionary is to be believed. And in all things English it is to be believed.

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  10:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  Has Bush finally slipped over the edge of sanity and delusion into cloud cuckoo land?
I just thought you should have another opportunity to watch Captain Codpiece once again lie about Saddam Hussein. Here he is from his press conference this week accusing the former Iraqi dictator of killing Nelson Mandela. Just a reminder George: Nelson's still alive. Even your propoganda arm says so!



Is this just the most recent and most obvious sign that the man is cracking up? I certainly think so.

Note: some idiot over at Townhall is claiming that the Decider(TM) is is being quoted out of context but fails to explain how.

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  10:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Give me your tired..."
America bids welcome to refugees from Africa. Nice eh?

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  10:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  Wing nut alert
Bill-o tells us that the ACLU is in league with al Qaeda. Why is this idiot still on the air? Crooks and Liars has the video.

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21 September 2007
  Don't blame China
It woz Mattel wot done it.

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  17:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I'll have the mushroom omelet please"
Monique DeLozier of Cape May NJ says that she can see angels AND Jesus on the doors of her business. But she is keeping an open mind.
"This is my interpretation. Everybody can think whatever they want."
And I shall, Ms. DeLozier, I shall.

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  17:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Won't you get the phone dear?"
America's national "do not call" listings expire next year. I hope you enjoyed your ever so brief peace and quiet.

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  16:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  All Blackwater, all the time
This is a clip of Amy Goodman interviewing Jeremy Scahill, author of Blackwater: The Rise of the World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army, and Doug Brooks of the Orwellianly named International Peace Operations Association, a trade group for mercenary and "security" firms.

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  16:50:00 6 comments links to this post
  Reduce means "to make smaller" or "to lessen" doesn't it?
Perhaps it means the opposite in Hebrew.

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  16:37:00 0 comments links to this post
  Progress report
We have achieved another benchmark! The US Military Cemetery for Fort Riley KS is full. Fortunately the cemetery can bury bodies on top of other bodies if there is no objection from either family.

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  16:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  426 days later...
...we learn that Lancaster County's own Floyd Landis did not win the 2006 Tour de France.

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  16:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  Meanwhile in the City of Brotherly Death...
...the carnage continues unabated. I also wish to award an "Understatement of the Day" Award to Philadelphia's Deputy Police Commissioner Richard Ross who said, and I quote, "obviously, we have some serious concerns about the numbers".

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  16:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Won't someone please make it stop??!!
The greatest, and also the most frightening, Bushism of all time!

"Where's Mandela? Well Mandela's dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandela's."

Don't anyone tell Nelson. I think he is rather enjoying his retirement and hearing this would only fuck that up!

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  16:18:00 0 comments links to this post
  Hasn't anyone told the Phillies it's September?
We've got ourselves a pennant race!

Aside from almost the entire pitching staff I like what little I've seen of this team.

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  16:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  Whatever you do don't mention Kashmir!
Oops. The CIA did it once but I doubt that they'll get away with it!

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  16:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  Atheism not included
I find this self congratulatory news release from the US State Department, which lauds its efforts to promote religious freedom across the globe and outward into the known (6,000 year old) universe, rather droll in light of this lawsuit against the US Defense Department for suppressing the religious freedom of an atheist soldier.

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  16:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  Scientists discover that the neutron is like an Oreo
There is no suggestion that these same scientists have been caught twisting off the negative exterior and interior so that they can lick the yummy positive interior.

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  15:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  I will not allow this!
I will not allow a narrowly self-defined group to refer to themselves as "values voters" thereby inferring that no one else applies their own deeply held values to the process of deciding for whom they will vote.

I have been voting since 1974 and I have been basing my decisions on my philosophy, my knowledge and my values in every election since. How dare they have to hubris to demean me and every other American who does not subscribe to their theocratic "values"? How dare they?!

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  15:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  Coincidence? I think not
Today we hear the news that scientists have decided that the bones of a small human like creature found in Indonesia four years ago is indeed a distinct species. Named Homo floresiensis, after the island on which the bones were found the creature has been popularly dubbed "the Hobbit" after its diminutive size.

Today is also the 70th anniversary of the publication of Tolkien's The Hobbit.

Cue up the Twilight Zone music.

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  15:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  Well you can tell that the Bush's aren't in charge in Floriday anymore
Florida's Governor Crist has pardoned Richard Paey, an MS sufferer who has already spent three years in prison for trafficking in his own pain medication.

Congratulations Governor Crist. Well done!

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  15:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  Feds cut bait
A federal grand jury investigating corruption associated with Jack Abramoff has subpoenaed the payroll records of a senior aide to Tom Delay, Ed Buckham. Mr. Buckham was viewed as the "gateway to Delay" after he left the congressman's employ and went out on his own. This can only mean that the net is tightening on Mr. Delay. This can only be good!

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  15:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  Either very big hands or very big apples
Federal investigators are reviewing 6 billion (that's 6,000,000,000) USD of contracts related to Iraq and Afghanistan for possible criminal misconduct and corruption but we needn't worry according to witnesses from the military and the Pentagon who appeared before the House Armed Services Committee yesterday. They assure us that this teensy, wheensy problem has been caused by a handful of "bad apples" and is not indicative of systemic corruption and failure. And I believe them!

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  14:55:00 7 comments links to this post
  Strange bedfellows
It would surprise me (and I suspect them) if there was much overlap between the political and philosophical thoughts of myself and the International Association of Police Chiefs. There is one area where our opinions do broadly coincide and that is on the issue of gun crime. They has just released a report entitled "Taking a Stand: Reducing Gun Violence in Our Communities".

"Nearly 30,000 American lives are lost to gun violence each year—a number far higher than in any other developed country. Since 1963, more Americans died by gunfire than perished in combat in the whole of the 20th century.
The impact goes far beyond the dead and injured. Gun violence reaches across borders and jurisdictions and compromises the safety of everyone along the way. No other industrialized country suffers as many gun fatalities and injuries as the United States. And no community or person in America is immune.

Read the rest (PDF) here.

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  14:45:00 0 comments links to this post
  What's in a name?
If you are a tiny country in the Balkans quite a lot actually. Whilst the residents of Skopje are undoubtedly overjoyed with Canada's decision to refer to their country as the "Republic of Macedonia" the same cannot be said of the residents of Athens would insist that it be called the "Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonaa" as that is the name of a Greek province and they consider the name to belong to them. Greece has threatened to block Macedonia's bid to join the EU and NATO unless this issue is resolved (in Greece's favour).

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  14:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today's two for one offer
Two barrels of oil consumed for each barrel found. Is it any wonder that world oil prices are soaring?

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  14:17:00 0 comments links to this post
  "This is Florida...you never know"
I think that Al Gore would second the above opinion of Eugenia Zaki as regards her husbands ongoing battle with his homeowners' association in Sarasota County Florida. Mr. Zaki's statement that "this is America, still, is it not?" is more dubious. Mr. Zaki is originally from Egypt. I do not know if he is a Muslim or not but suspect that he could be mistaken for one. If he is he may run afoul of a Florida "homeowning whilst Muslim" statute and I feel obligated to remind Mr. Zaki that the lavish Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Resort is not all that far away.

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  14:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  It's official!
Captain Codpiece's lame duckness has been duly certified by the state of Israel in the form of Defence Minister Ehud Barak.

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  14:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  Don't look away
The state of Israel is often charged with violations of international law; sometimes with good cause and sometimes not. We cannot allow ourselves to look away as Israel embarks on collective punishment of the Gaza Strip, a practice that is clearly forbidden by the Geneva Conventions. Before anyone suggests that these do not apply in this case Convention IV clearly addresses the responsibilities of an "occupying power" and it cannot be argued that Israel is clearly such an entity in the Gaza, the West Bank and Jerusalem. The only question can be if whether such occupation is legal or illegal and I believe that the United Nations Security Council along with other international organisations has already resolved that.

Before anyone starts I will not accept any accusations of anti-Semitism or anti-Judaism over my position on this issue. Got it? (Anti-Zionism is acceptable and, in fact, I agree that I am anti-Zionist.

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  13:55:00 0 comments links to this post
  Captain Codpiece: "I'm still here".
Yank in London: "Just fuck off will ya?"

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  12:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  In which I scoop The Onion!
As far as I can tell they have not yet covered this important story out of Des Moines, IA.

Note: no root vegetables were harmed in the writing of this post.

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  12:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Meet the new Saddam, same as the old Saddam
Maclean's Magazine out of Canada has cover story in which they asset that Captain Codpiece is the new Saddam Hussein. When do we invade? I don't care if we have a plan for after the invasion! I want regime change and I want it now!
  12:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Blackwater not down!
Wow. That was quick. This administration can do things in a hurry when they want to. It was only yesterday that Captain Codpiece promised to get at the facts in the shootings of civilians in Baghdad that has been attributed mercenaries in the employ of Blackwater USA and already the company is back on the streets.

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  12:25:00 7 comments links to this post
  I'm a dog man not a cat man
Under duress I have lived with cats from time to time but give me a dog any day. However as far as I am concerned if he is guilty of what he has been charged with they can take Tye Hilmo of Dacula GA, lock him up and throw away the key. He is accused of capturing neighbourhood pet felines and feeding them to his pit bull.

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  12:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  I think my RSS Reader is broken
Every day for about the past fortnight I have been getting a story entitled "U.S. dollar at all-time low against euro" showing up. Can these things get stuck?

(Note: no one tell my sister and brother-in-law who are arriving from the states tomorrow for a week's visit.)

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  12:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  Don't they get C-Span in Iraq?
It is obvious that the Iraqi people didn't have the opportunity to watch the exemplary testimony of General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker last week. If they had watched these fine gentlemen speak they would know how well things are going in their country and they wouldn't be flooding into Syria.

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  12:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  When you are intellectually bankrupt...
...it stands to reason that you will lose the "war of ideas"; and lose badly.

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  12:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  An agent of a lesser, spiteful God
The unmarried and, hopefully, celibate man who is in charge of "family related policy" for the Roman Catholic Church, Cardinal Alfonso López Trujillo, has come out to say that scientists who engage in stem cell research should be excommunicated along with those evil women who have abortions. Well Cardinal Trujillo when the church starts excommunicating priests who abuse their power to rape children and political leaders who start or endorse wars and finance nuclear weapons I might start listening to you. Until then just stop rabbiting on will you?

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  11:55:00 0 comments links to this post
  Have shovel - will dig hole deeper
US Representative Peter King (R-N.Y.) is the senior Republican on the House Homeland Committee and Rudy Giuliani's national security adviser. So when he was quoted as saying that there were "too many" mosques in America you can imagine the stink kicked up by the freedom hating, traitorous lefties. Fortunately he has "clarified" his remarks by saying that what he really meant was that these mosques should be spending less time on spiritual matters and instead devoting their efforts to working for America's secret police. That's really much better don't you think?

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  11:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Don't forget your flu shots!
This has been an unpaid commercial announcement from the Flu Vaccine Manufacturers Benevolent Association!

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  11:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  "That was the good news Congressman"
The Chairman of the US Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke, stopped off at Capitol Hill yesterday to tell the House Financial Services Committee that everything isn't just fine. Curiously the headlines in the American press are much more upbeat than those from . I wonder why that could be.

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  11:27:00 6 comments links to this post
  Surely a non-starter in America
Benjamin Sovacool of the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University has just concluded a study that says the best solutions for America's energy needs are "green, small and local". The chairmen of several multi-national energy firms are said to find this most amusing and have put out a contract on Mr. Sovalcol's life.

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  11:19:00 0 comments links to this post
20 September 2007
  How different from America is Sweden?
Very, very different indeed. In the US some joker is trying to pass a law that would find television stations about a billion dollars if someone says "shit" just once. Meanwhile in Sweden young women are fighting for their right by demanding that they be allowed to swim topless at the local public pool just like the blokes. Liberated man that I am I wholeheartedly support them in their brave struggle.

(Does Sweden have green cards?)

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  17:02:00 1 comments links to this post
  Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition
Following closely behind the American troops after the illegal invasion of Iraq came the radical Christians. Scary stuff.

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  16:08:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I reckon he'll do"
Snubbed by Il Papa increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice is now willing to meet with anyone who will have her.

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  16:02:00 0 comments links to this post
  On the fast track to (American style) democracy
The folks in Hong Kong seem to be getting the hang of this democracy thing if Alan Leong, defeated opponent to the region's leader, is to believed. He says that chief executive Donald Tsang only listens to the tycoons.

And rightly so.

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  15:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  What is it with Welsh butts?
Sian Lloyd has won the coveted "Rear of the Year" award. (Too bad Lembit!)

Didn't Charlotte Church win this about two days after her 16th birthday?

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  15:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  I hate to be the one to break it to you Eddie...
...but I don't think anyone overseas ever watched Leave It to Beaver!

Also - why are you older? The fact that you're not older makes me feel old and I don't like that!

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  15:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Does this seem odd to you?
It seems odd to me. Given O.J. Simpson extremely well documented history as a flight risk doesn't 175,000 USD for bail seem a bit low?

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  15:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  The unadvertised surge
There are more contractors hired by the US military in Iraq than the US has soldiers. Given the lowly wages that soldiers are paid this doesn't seem cost effective to me.

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  15:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  "What do you mean, am I packed yet?"
How lucky is the New Jersey National Guard? Pretty lucky I'd say. It looks like quite of few of their soldiers are going to get that free trip abroad two years early!

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  15:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  I must have forgotten!
Having spent 157 days charting the long and torturous road to the resignation of former US Attorney General Alberto "Gone-zo" Gonzales I somehow managed to overlook his last day at the office. Fortunately The Daily Show didn't. Crooks and Liars has the video.

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  15:16:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Because it's OK when we do it!"
American General accused of betrayal and failure! Curiously right wingers not upset. Oh, I get it, that's because it is the right wingers themselves who have spotted, and intelligently commented on, the betrayal and failure!

Never mind.

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  15:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  I am beyond words



Just who the hell is this Sherri Shepherd woman and how does someone who admits that she would have to go to the library if her child asked her if the world is round end up on the telly?

And people ask "what's wrong with America?". Well you need ask no longer.

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  15:07:00 0 comments links to this post
  It could happen
1) A prominent politician declares his unswerving opposition to same sex marriage.

2) A child of prominent politician announces that he or she is a homosexual

3) Prominent politician's opposition to same sex marriage suddenly swerves.

It happened to San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders. Could it happen to US Vice President "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney (and would I have to stop calling him a "big dick" if it did)?

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  14:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  Supporting the troops
In a superior demonstration of what can only be called tortured intensively interrogated logic Mel Martinez, chairman of the Republican National Committee, tells us that the defeated Webb Amendment, which would have set (not very restrictive) limits on the amount of time combat troops can be deployed overseas without time at home somehow "demeans the troops". I fear that his reasoning is too sophisticated for a poor lost soul like me to understand.

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  14:51:00 1 comments links to this post
  "Wow! Omaha was never like this!"
Congratulations to Diane Kholos-Wysocki, associate professor of sociology at the University of Nebraska at Kearney, for arranging the grandmother of all field trips and arranging for eight of her students to travel with her to Thailand in order that they could study Bangkok's red light district personally. Key quote:

"There are just some things you can’t teach out of books...Seeing it and feeling it is just so much more beneficial."

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  14:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Not all publicity is good publicity
If you are a country and western musician trying to pass yourself off as a great American patriot it is probably not a good idea to refuse to get on a stage at an event to honour policemen, firemen and the military until you get your 20,000 USD in cash. Lee Greenwood has tried it but I don't think it is going to work out for him.

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  14:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  The silence is deafening
I expected a great road of outrage from the Support the Troops Brigade and the 101st Keyboarders over the Republican Party's blatant refusal to support selfsame troops by ensuring that they get at least as much time on American soil as they do in combat zones.

I am terribly, terribly disappointed.

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  14:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I need more power!"
Captain Codpiece is trying to convince Congress that he needs even more powers to secretly spy on anyone he wishes; anywhere he wishes; anytime he wishes. I don't understand why he seems to believe that these powers are necessary. Normally if a law prohibits him from doing something he just ignores the law doesn't he?

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  14:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  Progress report
The target date for turning the security all eighteen Iraqi provinces over to local control has slipped once again and is now scheduled for the week immediately following the day on which Crystal Palace FC next wins the Champions' League. (For those of you who do not follow British football and are unaware just how shite my team are this is not going to happen anytime soon!)

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  14:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why is Conocoleezza Rice like Sleeping Beauty
Because she has just awoken from a two and a half year nap with the announcement that it is time to move the Middle East peace process forward. Well thank you very much for your insight Dr. Rice. May I call you Conocoleezza?

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  14:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  Germans have a different sort of über-conservative
Meet Gabriele Pauli, a candidate for the leadership the ultra-conservative Christian Social Union in the German state of Bavaria. She thinks that marriages should only be good for seven years and then you'd have to do it all over again. I don't think Fr.Pauli has thought this policy through though as she doesn't mention whether it would apply same sex marriages or whether an alteration of wedding gift protocols will have to be revised. She also fails to explain why this doesn't destroy traditional marriage. Nonetheless I wish her well and hope that she develops some more absurd policies that I will have the opportunity to thoughtfully discuss in the future!

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  13:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  Maybe but you're still a wanker!
During his triumphant tour of London yesterday America's ex-Mayor, Rudy Giuliani, humbly observed that he is "probably one of the four or five best-known Americans in the world". Numbers six and seven are said to be royally pissed off.

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  13:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Bill-o's brave stand
The ever thoughtful Bill O'Reilly calls the University of Florida student who was tasered during a session with Senator John Kerry the nation's biggest wimp. Mr. O'Reilly, who apparently had once bravely allowed himself to be tasered for a publicity stunt broadcast, says that is "just an electric shock". He also said that the student had been arrested and "just shocked" because he "refused to stop talking". Well, if one can and should be tasered for refusing to stop talking, and I am not taking a stance on this, I think that Bill-o would be so full of electricity that we could use him to light up a medium sized city. It also would be fun to watch.

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  13:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  "I am God and I approve this message"
According to Desde La Fe, the weekly outlet of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Mexico City, "a majority of the civil lawsuits brought in the United States are aimed at obtaining large sums of money, and 95 percent of these suits are won by the plaintiffs. It's a sure thing." The publication goes further, accusing Joaquín Aguilar, who is suing Mexican Cardinal Norberto Rivera over his protection of a paedophile priest, of using the suit to get his hands on "money that he could never hope to obtain in Mexico".

Sometimes I am overwhelmingly proud to be an atheist. This is one of those times.

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  13:21:00 0 comments links to this post
  Blackwater down but not yet out
Well surprise, surprise. Despite significant numbers of reported incidents involving shooting and other violence by US mercenaries Blackwater USA the company has almost never been investigated by the State Department.




I think that we can all rest easy now that it is rumoured that the legendary Sergeant Schultz has been put in charge of all future investigations. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will be allowed to slip by unnoticed with the ever vigilant sergeant in charge!
  13:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  Taser happy
The university kid who got tasered at a Q&A session with Sen. John Kerry is getting almost all of the nation's taser-use column inches but I think that this story, in which cops in Orange County CA used the high tech cattle prod on an autistic runaway fifteen year old deserves some discussion.

Perhaps we should just go back to bull whips.

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  13:07:00 6 comments links to this post
  I wonder if Bush has ever heard of H.L. Mencken
Because if he has this opinion piece that claims, accurately as far as I am concerned, that Captain Codpiece has finally Mencken's presidential prophecy is going to hurt. For those of you who have forgotten, or who are too lazy to click the link, the actual quote is this:
"...all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most easily (and) adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." (Emphasis mine.)
And it took less than a century to come true!

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  13:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Misunderestimating God
Do you think that the official Israeli rabbinate actually believes that God is not going to notice that they are not actually selling all of the Jewish farm land in Israel to the country's official shmita goy so that they can continue to harvest crops during what is a Biblically mandated fallow year? I think you will find that if God does indeed exist that She is much smarter than this. I mean if She really did create the universe and all that She is likely to see right through this little subterfuge, don't you think?

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  12:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  If this is the good news...
According to the US government's propaganda outlet, the Voice of America, the number internally displaced refugees in the country has risen to 2.25 million people. This does not count the millions of refugees outside of the country's borders. Much of the internal displaced is as a result of what is essentially ethnic cleansing that is occurring under the eyes, or perhaps with the complicity of the American forces, with formerly mixed neighbourhoods, towns and villages slowly becoming segregated by ethnicity and/or religion.
  12:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  In case you haven't noticed
As if there isn't enough misery to go around on the planet the number of victims of the recent and ongoing floods in sub-Saharan Africa has risen to around 1.5 million people. The situation is likely to grow much worse as the violent weather has come at harvest time and the crops are rotting in the fields.

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  12:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Rudy's ego lands in London (it only just fits)
Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani descended on London yesterday to raise money from the well heeled Republican expats working in the City. Apparently they wouldn't let him bring his humility as carry on baggage and he had to leave it at home.
  12:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Nós dizemos adeus ao especial
The head coach of Chelsea FC, Jose Mourinho, has suddenly and unexpectedly resigned from the club citing irreconcilable differences with the side's multi-billionaire megalomaniacal Russian owner Roman Abramovich. There will be tears all over west London over this I suspect.

Personally I just think that he misses his dog.

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  12:34:00 0 comments links to this post
19 September 2007
  I don't know where I stand on this
Deer porn. (Very safe for work!)
  17:49:00 1 comments links to this post
  This couldn't be politically motivated could it?
For the third straight year the United States has put Venezuela on the list of countries that have "failed demonstrably" to curb drug trafficking. It shares the honour with Burma but not Colombia, Pakistan or Afghanistan. Curious innit?

I also defy anyone to spend a hour or so walking through any American city and then be able to logically argue that the good old US of A doesn't also belong on a list of countries that have "failed demonstrably" to curb drug trafficking.

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  16:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  "If you need me I'll be by the pool"
American diplomats are trapped in Baghdad's Green Zone; where the power is always on, the water always runs and the Pizza Hut is usually open; because the Yank's preferred mercenaries from Blackwater USA can no longer operate in the country.

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  16:30:00 0 comments links to this post
  EGWOT* over!
The world's largest Internet evangelist, one Bill Keller, has called on Osama bin Laden to "repent and turn his life over to Jesus Christ". Now why did no one else think of this?

*Eternal Global War on Terra
  16:26:00 0 comments links to this post
  Don't let me stop you
Today is Talk-Like-a-Pirate-Day. Get at it!

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  16:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  Happy birthday Ötzi!
Well it's not actually his birthday as far as we know but Ötzi, the alpine ice man, was discovered on this day in 1991 and that's good enough for me.

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  16:19:00 6 comments links to this post
  "A lot, we think"
USAID hasn't a clue as to how many contractors it has in its employ in Iraq.

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  16:16:00 0 comments links to this post
  Ask questions later
A preliminary report for the Iraq government into the incident that has seen the hired guns of Blackwater be banned from operating in the country has said that the mercenaries fired first. The report also says that 20 Iraqis died in the gunfight, a higher number than previously reported. Good thing the Blackwater guys have immunity from prosecution under any law, anywhere, any time.

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  16:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  The universe strikes back
Apparently fed up with what we are doing to the planet the universe has expressed its disgust with our woeful behaviour by sending us a toxic meteor. Unfortunately the aim was bad and the object struck Peru instead of its intended target in Crawford TX.

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  16:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  We report, you decide
From Robert Greenwald an assessment of Faux New's slight tilt when covering the Petreaus testimony.

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  15:59:00 0 comments links to this post
  If you can't trust the tofu...
...then what the hell can you trust?

I really would like to know.

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  15:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  Is it cause she sorta black?
Last month Il Papa refused a request for an audience from increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice. That has got to hurt.

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  15:42:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Is that a dildo in your sausage or are you just glad to see me?"
I guess this means that Dubai must be a lot like Alabama.

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  15:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  How did this happen?
It is received wisdom that there are no atheists in foxholes. Are there no foxholes at Ft. Riley in Kansas then? If there are I am at a loss to explain the lawsuit filed by Specialist Jeremy Hall against the US Armed Forces alleging that the Army has suppressed his religious freedom by preventing him from forming an atheist group on the base. Does this mean there is more than one?

I thought that the Founding Fathers wanted us to have a Christians-only army, didn't they?

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  15:04:00 0 comments links to this post
  That's a relief
Anyone who has been concerned about the state of the Zimbabwean economy will undoubtedly be happy to hear that the African state's inflation fell to a mere 6,592.8% last month. Good to see everything is under control then.

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  15:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Who's watching you?
The ACLU has sued the FBI for refusing to turn over records on the Bureau's surveillance of a number of California Muslim groups. The FBI continues to claim that there are no or very limited records. The admission that there are four pages of records, after months of denial of the existence of anything, seems to be a chink in the FBI's armour.

Meanwhile J. Stephen Tidwell, the FBI's assistant director in charge for Los Angeles, released a statement that said in part: "The FBI does not investigate individuals or groups based on their lawful activities, religious or political beliefs".

So there you have it. If the FBI is investigating you it is because they already know that you have engaged in unlawful activities, religious or political beliefs.

I wonder if they can pick horses as well.

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  14:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Not likely in the next 488 days
Some folks think it would be a good idea for the United States to ratify the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty. It's not going to happen, is it?

Look at the list of states that have signed but not ratified the treaty: China, Colombia, Egypt, Indonesia, the Islamic Republic of Iran, Israel, Pakistan and the United States of America . Three other States - the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, India and Pakistan haven't even signed the treaty. Can you spot the trend? Note: Russia is the exception that proves the rule.

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  14:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Cloud cuckoo land
A 70 year old woman has pleaded not guilty to charges related to attempts by police in Orem UT to ticket her for having a brown lawn. Given the state of the planet and the generally availability of water in the American west shouldn't they be arresting people with green lawns rather than those without them?
  14:35:00 0 comments links to this post
  Heading the wrong way
Americans are already the most profligate users of private transportation and hence fossil fuels amongst the world's largest nations. Nonetheless the distances and times involved in the country's commutes continue to increase. Perhaps someone should look into this!
  14:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Look away now
The Inspector General for the US State Department, Howard Krongard, is under investigation by Congress* after whistle blowers at the State Department alleged that he had interfered with fraud investigations for political purposes. One of the investigations he is accused of quashing is an investigation that First Kuwaiti had abused its foreign workers and possibly engaged in human trafficking as part of its contract to build the palatial, fortified US Embassy in Baghdad.

*Is there a list of senior Bush administration officials who are not under investigation for some kind of political interference in the functioning of the gonverment? Are there enough of them to make a list?
  14:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  The good ideas just keep coming
Australia already suffers from drought and desertification that only promises to get worse as the planet warms. In order to make them feel better about themselves and ignore what is going on the country is in the process of building the world's longest golf course through a desert. The course is about 1200 km long and will require golfers to drive in a car between holes thereby creating more CO2 which will create more desert so the course can be made longer.
  14:07:00 0 comments links to this post
  Is thing anything like an "enemy combatant"?
Israel has rather comically named the Gaza Strip as an "enemy entity" which it seems to think will make it OK for them to shut off the power and water to the region. Well I think that they will find that, irrespective of what they call it, their plans still amount to collective punishment which is a violation of international law.

How are the planning to get Gaza to the Guantánamo Bay Beach and Leisure Resort anyway? Are they building a new, Gaza-sized ark?
  13:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  Conocoleeza gets stroppy
Increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleeza Rice has blasted the head of the UN's International Atomic Energy Agency Mohamed ElBaradei for his comments on the situation as regards Iran. Ms. Rice basically has told Mr. ElBaradei to keep his trap shut and leave diplomacy to the diplomats.

I have one question for Ms. Rice. Where the hell do you expect us to find a diplomat in the Bush administration? You've got to admit I've got you on that one!
  13:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  Because dropped stiches can kill!
Congleton War Memorial Hospital in Cheshire has banned patients from knitting on health and safety grounds. So all of those kids expecting a brand new jumper for Xmas better hope that Gran gets out of hospital soon!
  13:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  Spoiled for choice
More than any one else it was the neo-con clique in Washington that drove us to the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq. More recently they have been beating the drums over Iran. And now there is something stirring in their pants over Syria. What are they to do? Some many targets and so little military to address them. Perhaps they can convince some of the 101st Keyboarders to give up their PJs and enlist.
  13:29:00 6 comments links to this post
  What did you say?
Human languages are dying out at the rate of one a fortnight according to the Living Tongues Institute for Endangered Languages. The rate seems implausibly high but who am I to argue? The five worst affected areas are an area including bits of Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico (Native American languages), northern Australia, (Aboriginal languages), central South America (Native American languages), parts of the Pacific Northwest and eastern Siberia. So get out there and learn Amurdag, will ya?

A map of the affected regions and other information is to be found here.
  13:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  Who goes to Electoral College anyway?
M. Colbert lets us know what the "nefarious" Republicans in California are up to. You have been warned.

  13:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today's gala pseudo-science and wing nuttery showcase
James Dobson's Focus on the Family has latched onto a decidedly unscientific study that purports to prove that one can change one's sexual orientation through religious meditation. The claims are contained in a book entitled Ex—Gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation by two researchers from Christian institutions. According to the "study" a whopping 67% of participants experienced "a change toward heterosexual orientation or ... successfully continuing to work towards that goal". Truly amazing.

I hope that Focus on the Family realise that, in believing that "science" can be used to straighten out these long suffering perverts, they are keeping illustrious company.

An admonition for US Senator Larry Craig (Still Not Gay - ID). I do not want to find out that you have utilised these techniques to make yourself gay. OK? You need to remain firmly in the "no now nor ever have been gay" camp without actually becoming camp.
  11:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  The future's bright; the future's Brown
So a new poll of the British electorate from ICM would have us believe in any case. Despite the "crisis" and sense of financial panic brought on by the threats to Northern Rock the Prime Minister has substantially widened his party's lead over both the Tories and the Lib Dems. Maybe dropping the idea of any early poll, because of the financial situation, was premature.
  11:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Imperial immunity
An American Federal court has thrown out a lawsuit against Caterpillar, Inc by the family of Rachel Corrie over Ms. Corrie's death beneath an armoured bulldozer manufactured by the company and operated by Israeli security forces because, as the equipment was primarily paid for by the American government under military aid to Israel the court would be intruding on Executive Branch powers to conduct foreign policy. The court argued that they could not hear the case, which alleged that the company had aided and abetted "war crimes and other serious human rights violations" through the provision of equipment that they knew would be used for illegal activities, "without implicitly questioning, and even condemning, United States foreign policy towards Israel".

Does this tell us that the Executive Branch is immune from any investigation of violations of American or international law in the conduct of foreign policy by any American court? Good thing the International Criminal Court exists! Wait a minute. We never signed up for that did we? I think I now understad why not.
  11:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  Action man on EGWOT*
Former Lib Dem leader Paddy Ashdown, who is also the chairman of a new commission on terrorism, has come out to say, most explicitly, that the current western strategy to combat terrorism is just plain wrong. In Lord Ashdown's words:

"Our problem is that we have chosen the wrong mindset, the wrong battlefield, the wrong weapons and the wrong strategies to win this campaign. We have chosen to fight an idea, primarily with force."

Rather succinct and to the point I would say but I don't think that Captain Codpiece is going to approve of the analysis.

*Eternal Global War on Terra
  11:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  The victory of consumerism
44% of Britain's children believe that not having a mobile means you are poor.

I think this means all is lost.
  11:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  All quiet on the (not) "solid as a Rock" front
Britain's most photogenic Northern Rock branch, right here in Bromley on Market Square, was queueless this morning after the government promised to guarantee savings. It is a bit surprising that the residents of solid Tory Bromley should trust a Labour government but it appears that they have.
  11:19:00 0 comments links to this post
18 September 2007
  I don't care who did it...
..but whoever is responsible for Vietnam memorial in Washington was wrong and deserves to be punished.
  19:53:00 1 comments links to this post
  Does this make McCain a "flip flopper"?
I mean both Baptists and Episcopalians are protestant sects. What harm could it do?
  19:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  Ideas don't come much worse than this
Allowing school teachers to carry weapons is just so incredibly asinine I don't know where to begin.

And why is the woman in the suit allowed to remain anonymous? Don't we have a right to know?
  19:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  "It's his war."
That is how White House aides describe Captain Codpiece's relationship with the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq according to Time Magazine.

Well why doesn't he go bloody well fight it then?
  19:40:00 0 comments links to this post
  Destination: Seattle
Where I shall ride SLUT over and over and over again. (Will there be a SLUT card to make paying my fares simpler?)
  19:36:00 0 comments links to this post
  Attention all women younger than me*
When I am chatting you up I am only doing it for the good of man(and woman)kind. You should take this into consideration before sending me away!

*I believe this is most of you!
  19:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  Who is going to serve the papers?
Nebraska State Sen. Ernie Chambers is suing God. I certainly hope that Senator Chambers realises that this is likely to count heavily against him when he meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
  19:27:00 0 comments links to this post
  Man continues to evolve!!
The numbers of left handed people have tripled in the past century; obviously an incredibly good sign for the human race. Can we have left handed school desks now please?

(Note: this change in the population of naturally superior left handed people might have something to do with the fact that nuns can't beat us for this anymore. Right?)
  19:23:00 0 comments links to this post
  Lazy AND uninformed
I think Fred Thompson is looking more and more like the perfect replacement for Captain Codpiece everyday!
  19:19:00 1 comments links to this post
  Happy birthday to you!


The emoticon is 25 years young today!
  19:13:00 0 comments links to this post
  When God speaks we should listen
At the good folks at Newman United Methodist Church in Grants Pass Oregon have good reason to pay attention to Her now I should think.
  19:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  Ssh. Don't tell Michelle Malkin...
...but it looks as if plans for an amnesty for illegal immigrants may have illegally immigrated to Brighton on the south coast of the UK.
  19:06:00 0 comments links to this post
  Today's "solid as a Rock" news
The queue at Bromley's branch of Northern Rock has remained steady, orderly and oh so middle class yesterday and today.

Clearly our branch is Britain's most photogenic as photos of it appeared in the Guardian on Saturday, on the front page of the Observer on Sunday and the front page of the Guardian today. (Alright. I admit that we did have to share the front page with three other less attractive branches today.) The other possible explanation is that the Guardian/Observer financial section photographer lives in Bromley but I am sticking with my first explanation until it is explicitly proven incorrect.
  19:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  This is just for us westerners
In case we have forgotten how truly lucky we are that what I like to call the "Great Accident of Sperm" put us in the west and not somewhere else.

If you believe in God this would be an appropriate time to thank Him, Her, It or Them.
  18:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  Tear down the wall
Is this midnight my time or theirs?

Good to see that they finally realised they had taken the wrong path.
  18:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Won't someone please just make it stop?
Mike McConnell, the relatively new Director of National Intelligence, has gone before Congress to argue that he needs more and greater super secret spying powers if he is to fight the Eternal Global War on Terra all alone. He would also like some x-ray glasses if that's not too much of a problem.

Just in case you've forgotten!



  18:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  It will probably be a National Park by Xmas
The men's room at the Minneapolis Airport where Senator Larry Craig (Still Not Gay - ID) spent a few restful minutes not being gay during what was undoubtedly a very harrowing day has become a tourist attraction.

How sad is America? (And how sad is Auntie for covering America's sadness?)

I am concerned however for Sally Westby of Minneapolis who stopped by on her way to Guatemala. It was Ms. Westby's first visit but according to Ms. Westby her husband had already been: "In fact, it's Jon's second time - he was here last week already."

I think it may be time for the Westbys to have a long chat about their marriage don't you think?
  18:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Because thinking is hard
When Americans have to make a choice, even an informed choice, between a position backed up by scientific research and years of study, thought and discussion and a position based on "because you should believe this because we have always believed this" most pick, well, I suppose you realise the answer already.

Sad isn't it?

Who died and left America boss anyway? God perhaps?
  18:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  How can you tell that the Bush adminstration is doing something incredibly badly?
(Other than the obvious "they are doing something" response.) How about when one of the chief minions, in this case US Ambassador to the American Imperial Province of Iraq Ryan Crocker, admits that the US government is doing something incredibly badly?

The prosecution rests.
  18:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  A traitor in their midst
Retiring Senator Chuck Hagel (Turncoat Republican - NE) is so not invited to any more Republican parties, weddings or barbecues. He might get invited to a funeral but only if it's his.

  18:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  What is pissing me off today!!!
Why does any credible media outfit, assuming that there are any credible media outlets remaining, allow itself to fall into the trap of the Christian right wingers who self define themselves as "values voters" as if most of us did not make political decisions on the basis of our own individual sets of values?

Well guess what you wankers! I have values too! And my values can beat up your values anytime! So there!

I think I need to sit down for a spell.
  18:14:00 0 comments links to this post
  Hired, sacked, hired again - freedom wins!
After much to-ing and fro-ing Erwin Chemerinsky has finally been confirmed as the dean of UC Irvine's new law school. Professor Chermerinsky was originally offered the job but the offer was retracted after serious political pressure from conservatives and right wingers who did not want to see him get the job; ostensibly for his dangerous left wing beliefs. Ultimately UC Irvine decided to stand forthrightly against this extremist political pressure and hire Professor Chermerinsky anyway.

No doubt David Horowitz is overjoyed at this victory for his campaign for an academic environment free of political litmus tests. Or perhaps not.
  18:06:00 1 comments links to this post
  This may seem like a small thing to you...
...but people in Yorkshire take their accents seriously. William McCartney- Moore is an eight year old who had to undergo brain surgery after contracting a rare strand of meningitis. After the surgery his mental state had regressed to that of a two year old. When he finally recovered it was found that he had dropped his hard, northern accent for something a bit more posh. This may not go down well with his mates.

The husband of a friend of mine was originally from Wakefield. Despite having lived in London and the Southeast for about fifteen years now he still sounds to me like the hard Northerner that I first met. However when he's back home his mates always make fun of his (indiscernible to me) London accent with "don't Rob talk posh now?"

I hope young William's mates are more understanding.
  18:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Man in the White Suit who single handedly liberated Kabul speaks..
...and we should listen.

Not that I would expect a government who looks away as BAE Systems bribes its way to billions of pounds worth of weapons contracts to care just because a few women and children are being killed.
  17:57:00 0 comments links to this post
  If they didn't want to suffer they shouldn't have been born poor or in Africa or poor AND in Africa
Poor people, especially those living in poor countries, must be relieved to know that global climate change is just a big lie thought up by Al Gore and people who want to bankrupt American automobile manufacturers and multinational oil companies. Because if climate change were real they would be well and truly fucked.
  17:53:00 0 comments links to this post
  Oh dear
Those pesky Democrats are now investigating the Inspector General of the US State Department for blocking investigations into corruption in Iraq and other offences.

But aren't these the same people who have promised the Iraqi's a "transparent investigation" into Blackwater Down?
  17:47:00 0 comments links to this post
  Didn't we (illegally) invade Iraq because they were violating UN resolutions?*
Because if we did I can think of another "I" country that qualifies on that score. The US troops could stop there on the way home as well.

*I believe the "violating UN resolutions" explanation was justification 8 out of 14.
  17:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Well he did ask about Skull and Bones without doing the secret handshake first
Is Florida still part of the United States? If so, why?

  17:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Oh. My. God. It's a Muslim with a gun!
But nothing that a little bureaucracy can't make go away.

In any case I am certain that the Israeli government would be just as intransigent with a Jew performing the same task.
  17:34:00 0 comments links to this post
  How hopeless is modern man?
I mean really. Do we really have to buy pre-packaged lettuce, whether or not it is infected with vermin? Come on. This cannot even count as "convenience food" can it? How fucking hard is it to peel a couple of leaves off of a head of lettuce, rinse it off at the sink and tear it into appropriately sized pieces? Are we really this bloody lazy?

It is apparent that few of us have the skills necessary to survive after the revolution/onset of global anarchy/worldwide pandemic/nuclear war. Perhaps that is a good thing.
  17:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  In which I admit I am not perfect (but better than this guy)
I confess I have, in the past, kicked a man or woman when he or she is down. But to kick a soldier when he's dead takes real class.

This real class guy is former Montana State Senator David Guy. Not only does he attack the dead but he in effect insults all serving men and women by stating, quite explicitly, that he believes that they, at least the enlisted men and NCOs, are all to stupid and uneducated to use the word "recalcitrant" without help.

I eagerly await the vicious attacks from the "support the troops" brigade; as soon as they get their pajama bottoms untwisted!
  17:17:00 7 comments links to this post
  It's 11:54 do you know where your freedoms are?




Go here for more info.
  17:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  Attack of the North Korea-cons
It is entirely possible that the recent Israeli air assault on Syria was related to a Syrian nuclear programme. It is also possible there is a North Korean connection.

However we cannot allow ourselves to be misled as long as the only people saying that this is so is a bunch of Bush-connected, completely discredited neo-cons. These people have no credibility; none; zero; zilch; nil.
  17:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  Apparently no wing nuts have ever worked in advertising...
...because they seem to believe that it is scandalous, SCANDALOUS that MoveOn.Org got a discount for their recent ad in the New York Times. If you ever place an ad in any major newspaper and you end up paying the rate card tariff you'd best hire yourself a new media agency. Really. Trust me on this.

UPDATE: US VP "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney has never worked in advertising either!
  16:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Well he wasn't hugged to death
An autopsy is to be performed on a Georgia man who died after he was head butted by an armless man to determine the cause of his death.
  16:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  Saying no to religious schools
There are all sorts of problems with the British reliance on religious organisations (i.e. churches) to provide public education but we need to take steps that these providers cannot use public moneys to suppress the rights to free speech and free expression as Northern Ireland's Catholic schools look set to ban Amnesty International support organisations over Amnesty's reluctant change of its stance on abortion.

If these schools which to impose this thinking that is fine with their own money in their own institutions even though I respectfully disagree. But these schools are public schools; they do not belong to the church they belong to the state and British people; they are funded entirely by the taxpayer.

No, no, a thousand times no!
  16:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  Corruption pays
Hopelessly corrupt British Merchant of death BAE Systems, whose use of illegal tactics to curry favour with the Saudi government has been consistently ignored by the Blair/Brown regime, has finally got what it has been looking for; a £4.4 billion deal to flog advanced Eurofighters to that Mideast haven of democracy and human rights the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

The champagne corks must be popping at BAE headquarters even as we speak!
  16:24:00 0 comments links to this post
  Justice delayed?
So if OJ is charged, tried and convicted of armed robbery does that make us even?
  16:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  A small price to pay I think
British surfers are expressing their concern that there will be smaller waves in Cornwall if a wave farm goes ahead ten miles off the coast. Sorry dudes but if there is smaller swell you will just have to live with it. After all it looks as if the skiers are going to have to make significant sacrifices too!
  16:11:00 0 comments links to this post
  Being Secretary of State means sometimes having to say you are sorry
Increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleezza Rice has has expressed her "regret"* over the killings by American hired mercenaries in Iraq that has caused the Iraqi government to revoke the licence of the firm of hired thugs. I thought that, on the order of Viceroy Jerry Bremmer, the Iraqi government made these folks immune from all prosecution. If they did it doesn't seem as if the current Iraqi government is aware of this as they are threatening prosecution, possibly for murder.

Shame.

*Do you think that her press office had to look up the meaning of the word "regret"?
  16:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  In by the back door?
I have very mixed emotions about genetically modified food and other organisms. I dropped my membership in Greenpeace sometime ago over their absolute rejection of genetic modification. I am also convinced that some forms of intensive farming will be required to feed the over nine billion hungry mouths that the planet will have in about forty years. I also think that GM technology has a place. Increased drought tolerance, vitamin content etc are all aspects of GM crops that will almost certainly be required. However appropriate testing of environmental impact and effects on human health is required. There also need to be strictly enforced and designed control protocols to ensure that these crops are controlled in the testing process and afterwards. These protocols clearly do not exist in the US and other countries.

However until all of these are in place we need to ensure that the British government doesn't sneak GM into the country whilst our attention is elsewhere.
  15:50:00 0 comments links to this post
16 September 2007
  Quote of the day
"The Iraq war is largely about oil" - Alan Greenspan.

How in the hell are they going to spin this away?
  14:10:00 0 comments links to this post
  In John McCain's not reality based world...
...dissent is not permitted.
  14:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  They could be made of Kevlar®
The Australian government is under fire for paying for larger breasts for some (female) members of the military. They deny that the operations were performed for cosmetic reasons citing "medical, dental or compelling psychological or psychiatric reasons". Dental? Things really are different in the antipodes!
  13:59:00 1 comments links to this post
  Today in infamy
Twenty five years ago today the Israeli army stood aside and allowed Christian Lebanese militias/freedom fighters/terrorists into the Sabra and Shatila Palestinian refugee camps where they raped, tortured and massacred hundreds of innocent human beings.

Ariel Sharon where are you now?
  13:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  Was one million a benchmark? How about two?
ORB, a British pollster, has done a household survey in Iraq that indicates that more than 1.2 million Iraqi civilians have died as a result of the war. The US will angrily dispute this of course but as the American forces have long made a point of telling us that they can't be bothered to keep track of the figure they will have no statistical evidence to provide. As I have long said "never let facts get in the way of a really good plan".
  13:44:00 0 comments links to this post
  Maggie the turncoat
In today's Observer Malcolm Rifkind, a former Cabinet Secretary under the Iron Lady, takes Maggie to task today for visiting Gordon Brown's Number 10 attired in a red dress when she has a "perfectly good blue dress at home". That's telling her Malcolm.
  13:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Keeping one's priorities in order
Matt Hennesy, head coach of the Muskogee (OK) High School (American) football side hit a 7 year old kid with his car breaking his collarbone and inflicting other injuries. Mr. Hennesy stopped and notified one of the kid's parents but then left the scene and did not notify police. When contacted by the local newspaper he provided the following quotes which prove beyond a doubt that this is a man who knows how to maintain his focus on the important things.

"I ought to be dealing with tomorrow night’s game — not this crap."

"I was leaving the stadium when this kid ran into the front of my car...It was the kid’s fault."

"I’m not going to file a report against a little kid, even though my car was damaged...It was the kid’s fault."

Good luck in the big match coach. I hope the kid's thoughtlessness hasn't upset your game plans!
  13:32:00 0 comments links to this post
  How one knows the jig is up
When the rabidly right wing Daily Mail publishes an opinion piece entitled "Bush the Jihadist: How the world was plunged into an apocalyptic war" it is well and truly over.
  13:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why the AMerican people are more honest than Bush and other American politicians
Because they will say what none of them will. Iraq is a quagmire and we will be there for years irrespective of who wins then election next year. (Unless it's me of course!)
  13:20:00 0 comments links to this post
  Show me the guns!
During his stellar career in Hollywoodland Republican presidential Fred Thompson saw a lot of guns in use and never saw an innocent person hurt. So this weekend he went to Florida and spread some gun love. He promised "no limits" to gun ownership. I suspect that under a Thompson administration even convicted felons like I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby would be able to pack heat. And what America wants America gets!
  13:11:00 0 comments links to this post
15 September 2007
  US to let terror supporters off scot free
Three US citizens who knowingly provided over 1.5 million USD to a proscribed terrorist organisation will not be charged by the Justice Department. Well they did do it in the name of shareholder value so I reckon it's OK!
  16:24:00 1 comments links to this post
  It's not as if this never crossed our minds
Could increasingly irrelevant US Secretary of State Conocoleeza Rice be gay? I really couldn't care although I do have a mate who fancies her and will be broken hearted. How it would play with the Republican religous right base would be a different matter.
  16:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  The Bush legacy, already in tatters, takes another blow
Captain Codpiece is savaged by Alan Greenspan in the former Fed Chief's memoirs. Key quote:

"I am saddened that it is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what everyone knows: the Iraq war is largely about oil."

  15:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Who says exercise is good for you?
If you want to compete in the Orlando triathlon you have to sign a waiver first that says you know you might die if you swim in Lake Underhill. You also opt out of the swimming bit with sort of takes the tri- out of triathlon, doesn't it?
  15:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas
Now OJ is a suspect in an attempted robbery of some of his own sports memorabilia. He has reportedly told the police that there were no guns involved. This is hardly a surprise as he is really a knife man.
  15:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  Supporting the troops
The US Department of Veteran's Affairs has suspended all surgery at the Marion VA Medical Center in Illinois after an increase in the mortality rate and an inspection by the Surgical Quality Review team. Both the director and the chief of staff at the hospital have been "reassigned".
  15:22:00 0 comments links to this post
  This couldn't be intentional could it?
Neither the US Department of Defense nor the US Department of Homeland Security is capable of producing auditable financial accounts even though, in the case of the DoD at least, they have had a decade to work on it. The DoD has never passed an audit and DHS is only passing with very strong stipulations. If they had to operate in the reality based community they would have been shut down by now.
  15:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why now?
Water boarding is no longer a CIA approved method of torture enhanced interrogation. I imagine there will be any number of outraged wingnuts once the decision becomes widely known. After all they all haven't had a turn yet!
  15:09:00 0 comments links to this post
  Paging "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney
My dear I'm a Big Dick,

I have just received word that "hunters" are to be allowed kill a large number of bison in the National Elk Refuge in Wyoming; a state that I believe you to be familiar with. As these "wild" creatures are acclimated to the presence of humans hunting these animals will be "like hunting parked cars". Sounds right up your alley. I'm sure you could manage to get yourself a permit although finding a hunting companion for yourself might prove more difficult.

Kind regards,

Yank in London
  15:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  In which I have a great idea!
I think that we should expand Captain Codpiece's new sound bite policy, "return on success" to the President. Under this new policy he will never get to return to Texas or indeed have one of his beloved and seemingly infinite in number days off until his presidency is a success.

Wait a second. This is a ridiculous idea. He'll be in the White House forever. Allow me to amend it. He has to move to Baghdad, outside of the Green Zone, and stay there without returning to Texas or having a day off until Iraq is a success.

That's much better. I'd brush up on my Arabic if I were you George.
  14:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  I should like to sincerely thank the good people of Connecticut...
...for finally realising the huge fucking mistake they make last year but it's too bloody late now, innit? Try not to forget in five years' time OK?

Oh, Ned thanks you too!
  14:46:00 0 comments links to this post
  Progress report or war in a time of cholera
A cholera epidemic is sweeping northern Iraq, with 16,000 or more people affected, and there are grave concerns that it could spread to Baghdad shortly. Access to clean drinking water is severely limited in many areas and poor to non-existent sanitation is widespread.

Curiously this doesn't seem to be getting much play in the US.
  14:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Has Joe got his grove back?
Democratic (not very much of a) presidential contender and Senator from the great state of Delaware, where I was born, has come out swinging and has called Bush and his minions "phonies" for claiming planned troop reductions are a result of "progress" in Iraq and are not occurring because the military has no other choice. Well done Joe!

In case you missed it Crooks and Liars has video of an obviously emotional Senator Biden essentially admitting what one is never allowed to admit, especially if it is true, and that is that American soldiers are dying in vain in Iraq.
  14:31:00 0 comments links to this post
  I have an invasion and occupation candidate
There is no doubt that this country has weapons of mass destruction. It is run by a military dictator and there is broad support amongst the civilian population for regime change. We might even be greeted as liberators if we invaded Pakistan.

It's alright George. You can go back and invade Iran later. I promise!
  14:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  We bid "Adieu"
Tony "You Don't Expect Me to Live on 168K Do Your?" Snow, the Decider's loyal mouthpiece has left the building. I do wish him well re his health despite his penchant for obfuscation and untruth.
  14:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  An awful lot of change!
Cool Hand Luke is going to be jealous of this guy. He managed to nick £130K from parking meters he was supposed to be emptying, and technically he was emptying them, before getting caught after two years!
  14:12:00 0 comments links to this post
  Minority rule
The bloc of MPs loyal to Shi'a cleric Moqtada al-Sadr is set to withdraw from the Shi'a coalition currently leading the Iraqi government. With the group no longer in the United Iraqi Alliance the UIA will have only 98 of the total of 275. Time for elections perhaps?
  14:03:00 0 comments links to this post
  Dear Fred
I am afraid that it is considered bad form to try and pull a Reagan before getting elected (or even the nomination) and claiming that you can't recall. For Christ's sake, how did you ever remember your lines. Did you have one of those ear piece thing that the Decider(TM) uses?
  14:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  Why international football is not like primary school
Because it is extremely unlikely that you are going to get away with lying about the death of your grandmother in order to get out of an international match and have your country's FA fly you back, in a charted jet, home so you can shag your girlfriend.

I have so more, regrettably late, advice for Stephen Ireland. Once caught it is incredibly stupid to then claim it was your other grandmother who died who then threatens to sue the paper that says she is dead. And don't even think about switching the fatality to your divorced grandfather's new girlfriend either. Newspapers have resources and once they get the scent of blood (or in this case perhaps formaldahyde) they can be incredibly tenacious.
  13:54:00 0 comments links to this post
  A low swinging chariot indeed
It would appear that England's days as reigning rugby union World champions are indeed numbered after last night's thirty three to nil spanking at the hands of South Africa. It was good whilst it lasted, eh?
  13:52:00 0 comments links to this post
  Queue-date
Today's queue in Bromley to take money out of the Northern Rock branch there is slightly shorter than yesterday's. In inimitable English style it is extremely orderly and the young coppers on hand to maintain order have little to do other than to chat up the even younger girls at the bus stop.
  13:49:00 0 comments links to this post
  "Damn it Earl - I forgot my glasses again!"
Given the demographics of population of Florida is it really necessary for there to be a six foot gap between strippers and their observers? One would think that half of the audience will be unable to make out the important bits from such a distance.
  12:14:00 0 comments links to this post
  Cardinal becomes art critic; rues choice of words
Personally I think it is a bit harsh to accuse Cardinal Joachim Meisner, Roman Catholic Archbishop of Köln, of Nazi sympathies just because he referred to some modern art as "degenerate". Now if the man had ever said anything else controversial perhaps the cumulative effect would condemn him.
  12:05:00 0 comments links to this post
  I got your 36 countries right here!
Where in the hell did Captain Codpiece's speech writers come up with the "36 nations who have troops on the ground in Iraq" figure from. By my reckoning there are currently 22 nations, including the US, in the coalition of the less and less willing. 11 of these (Armenia, Bosnia Herzegovina, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Kazakhstan, Latvia, Lithuania, Macedonia, Moldova and Mongolia) currently have 100 or fewer troops on deployment. There are 3 other nations (Fiji, Canada and Denmark) who have a small number of troops as part of the UN mission; not under American command and control. There are another 9 countries (the Netherlands, Hungary, Slovakia, Portugal, Norway, Italy, Slovenia, Turkey and Iceland) who have a handful of troops as part of the NATO mission that is training the Iraqi police force. None of these countries have more than 15 nationals in Iraq.

By my reckoning that comes to 33 nations. Maybe he is counting Blackwater and a couple of the other providers of mercenaries as countries as well.

Is they intentionally trying to make him look like a complete tosser or what?
  11:48:00 0 comments links to this post
  We cannot allow him to get away with it!
More and more it seems certain that the Decider(TM), with the incessant prodding of the Devil incarnate (aka VP "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney) has decided to decide to have one last go at war before he leaves office by dragging Iran into the conflict in Iraq and/or through a massive set of air strikes against "nuclear" targets.

We cannot allow this to happen. He must be made to know that we, the people of the US and of the world, would consider this a war crime and that he will pay and pay severely.
  11:39:00 0 comments links to this post
  Book out? Knives out!
The book by John Mearsheimer and Stephen Walt, The Israel Lobby and US Foreign Policy, is out and so are the charges of anti-Judaism. I am sure that there will be no ad hominem attacks and that the discourse will be civilised
  11:33:00 0 comments links to this post
  Photo op time!
Was your speech Thursday night not well received? Devote Friday to photo ops! Simple.

Note the photo accompanying this White House transcript in which Captain Codpiece, sans codpiece, is shown hugging his sole remaining imaginary friend.
  11:29:00 0 comments links to this post
  A big week for Peruvian refugee
First it seems that Paddington Bear has switched his allegiance from marmalade to Marmite and now he's off to Hollywood.
  11:25:00 0 comments links to this post
  Solid as a rock (not)
So there I was walking through Bromley yesterday afternoon when, coming out of Market Square, I was about to cross Widmore Road only to be confronted by a rather large queue on the pavement. My first reaction was that there had been a wildcat bus strike and this was the queue for the bus stop. I was wrong as I didn't recall that there was a Northern Rock branch just behind the bus stop and this was the queue to get one's money out.

There was panic in the streets but, it being Bromley, it was a nice, calm, middle class panic.

Curiously the picture on the front page of the Guardian this morning was that very same queue (I wasn't in the shot for some reason) but I can't find the photo on the website.
  11:11:00 0 comments links to this post
14 September 2007
  In which I deliver my seriously considered critique of President Bush's address to the nation
Lying sanctimonious twat!

That is all.
  14:56:00 0 comments links to this post
  Coming soon to an Ebay near you!
I'm not quite sure how they'll manage to flog the Sistine Chapel Ceiling on Ebay but I'm sure someone can work it out. After all it contains encoded images, thankful decoded by the eminent Philip E. Dayvault of Raleigh NC, of the Shroud of Turin. Clearly Ebay is the only possible outlet for a find of this magnitude!
  14:38:00 0 comments links to this post
  Read all about it!
Neil Bush's Federally funded cash COW. Good to see they are keeping it in the family!
  14:01:00 0 comments links to this post
  10,000 men wanted
The Philadelphia Police Chief wants to recruit 10,000 men to help reduce crime in the City of [the Missing] Brotherly Love. Rumours that each of these men will be awarded one of the Phillies' 10,000 losses to keep as a souvenir of their service cannot be confirmed at this time!
  13:28:00 0 comments links to this post
  So long it's been good to know you
John Marburger, Captain Codpiece's chief science advisor, has admitted that there is a 90% chance that global warming is caused by man. If I would you Professor Marburger I would expect my P45 come Monday.
  13:19:00 0 comments links to this post
  When is John Boehner (R - OH) going to enlist?
After all, in his words, it is a "small price to pay"! Go on John. I'm sure they'll waive the age limit just for you.

  13:15:00 0 comments links to this post
  Indigenous rights - not in my country damn it!
The United Nations General Assembly has overwhelmingly passed the Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples. Four countries opposed it; Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the United States. Now what could possibly connect these four countries? (Hint: it starts with geno-...)

If only the Native Americans, Australian Aborigines and the Maoris had taken a stronger, anti-illegal immigrant stanch sooner, well things sure would have been different. Perhaps they should have built a fence or something.
  13:00:00 0 comments links to this post
  The end?
The dollar is in free fall. Is this just a correction or does it mark the end of the planet's other country's willingness to finance American profligacy?

Only time will tell.
  12:53:00 0 comments