As the election draws nearer and magically, after having remained steady since the midterm elections, the terror alert level drifts up from Bert through Ernie into Elmo terror-tory there will once again be a mad rush to Home Depot to stock up on plastic sheeting, duct tape and nail guns. But no one wants to the fight the crowds even so supplies as urgent as this. What's a sensible but lazy and borderline obese citizen to do. I have the solution: SurvivorMall.com! So sit back, pop another Belgian Budweiser and click your way to safety!
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