Hands off our Jesus amigo!

Hugo Chavez is trying to pre-empt Jesus as a model for his socialist revolution.

Well I've got a word or two for you pal. I grew up in America and the American Jesus is a pork eating capitalist who is on America's side. He believes in war and thinks nuclear weapons are a good idea. He is all in favour of Star Wars. He thinks that poverty is evil and therefore the poor should be avoided at all costs. He knows the world will be a much nicer place once it heats up a little. Even though he never experienced a woman (hear that Dan Brown?) he knows that homosexuality is wrong and will destroy marriage as we know it if it is given free rein. Lastly he believes socialism, Communism and the Democratic Party are all the work of the Antichrist and must be opposed at all costs by all right thinking Christians.

So just cut it out. Ok, Hugo?

Clang!

Disgraced former US Congressman Bob Ney, once a Republican Representative from Ohio, began serving his 2½ year sentence for corruption today. I trust that you will enjoy the up close and personal time you will get to spend with some of your former constituents Bob.

Things to do in Dublin

If you are looking for something interesting to do in Dublin over the weekend the second annual Anarchist Bookfair is happening at the Club na Múinteorí on Parnell Square tomorrow.

Go, have fun, meet people, support lefties of all sorts.

I am the Antichrist!

Taking a leaf out of Jerry Falwell's book an Italian Cardinal has told the Pope that the Antichrist will present himself as a "pacifist, ecologist and ecumenist". In other words - he's a lefty. Little chance of finding him in America these days then.

There is no word as yet as to the Pope's own position on the topic.

You're Fjuckbied!

The small Swedish village of Fjuckby has had their plea to change their name to "Fjuckeby" denied by the country's Institute for Language and Folklore. Only fifteen of the village's sixty residents seemed to care. I would imagine that they do have a bit of problem with theft of the "Welcome to Fjuckby" road signs.

Is it just me or would people still steal the signs even if they changed their name?

"But that's socialism ain't it Pa?"

Are Americans becoming stealth socialists or are they just worried that they can't care of their own anymore? A new survey conducted for the New York Times and CBS shows that a majority, I repeat a majority, of Americans feel that the federal government should guarantee health insurance for all Americans and would be willing to pay higher taxes to pay for it. If they're not careful they'll end up like those evil, lazy Europeans.

Full poll results (PDF) may be found here.

Supporting the troops

In a move that is atypical of the Bush administration attitude towards incompetence the officer in charge of the Walter Reed Medical Center, Maj. Gen. George Weightman, has has been sacked. He has been replaced on a temporary basis by Lt. Gen. Kevin Kiley who had been in charge before Weightman. However patients and their families are not happy with the interim appointment because they contend that Kiley was "long aware of problems at Walter Reed and did nothing to improve outpatient care". So no change there then.

The Limbaugh effect

The abuse of prescription medications is about to overtake the abuse of illegal street drugs worldwide. In the United States the abuse of otherwise legal medications already exceeds the use of all illegal drugs with the exception of cannabis.

Should this abuse be eliminated what will the impact on Big Pharma be? Perhaps we should just leave the problem alone as it just represents the market at work.

To HPV or not to HPV

There has been, and will continue to be, a great deal controversy in the United States over plans to require adolescent women to be vaccinated against the human papillomavirus (HPV). In some cases infection with HPV can lead to cervical cancer. The existing vaccine is most effective when administered to young women in their early teens but critics feel that, since the virus is sexually transmitted, that sexual abstinence is the most appropriate means of avoiding infection. These opponents somehow believe that inoculating young women against HPV will encourage them to have sex an argument that I can only say I find to be a load of bollocks. Am I encouraged to ride my bike into a tree because I am wearing a helmet? Do cops stand in front of armed robbers encouraging them to shoot them just because they are encased in Kevlar?

To make matters worse it now seems that the rate of infection in America is at least 50% higher than formerly believed with over 7 million women between the ages of 14 and 24 infected.

Why do they call it intelligence?

Is North Korea going to have to prove that it has dismantled a large scale uranium enrichment plant that was never built but which US Intelligence insisted existed in order to heighten the anxiety over the communist state's progress toward nuclear armaments?

Will we ever be able to trust this folks again? (Did I ever trust these folks at all?)

Getting carried away

Suddenly, it seems, everyone is going gaga over the "New Bush" and his great skill as a diplomat. Let us be reasonable here folks. Just because his administration goes and does one sensible thing does not immediately make him a genius. After all, despite the spin put on it by the White House, this was a previously arranged meeting, to which the United States was not initially invited, that Bush&Co have now horned in on. No matter how hard they try to make it seem as if this were their idea it simply wasn't.

I think that we should hardly consider this the equivalent of Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus. Perhaps he will turn into a great diplomat in his last 18 months in office. On the other hand I might suddenly grow 6 inches taller at the age of 51.

Hand in the cookie jar

How grievous and obvious must the crimes be if, under the Bush administration, the Security and Exchange Commission had no choice but to file insider trading charges against 11 Wall Street traders as well as three companies? Perhaps they were just upset because they didn't get in on the deals.

I'll bet he does!

John McCain now says that he regrets using the word wasted to describe the loss of American lives in Iraq.

And to think I was just starting to consider him as presidential. Sorry John. See you around mate.

What does George Bush really, really care about?

One sure-fire measure of a President's real sensitivities is to review the legislation that he vetoes.

The Decider (TM) as yet hasn't given us a great deal to work with in this regard but as far as I can tell, based on his one veto, his is extremely concerned that excess embryos from IVF processes will continue to be flushed down the drain rather than used for much need medical research.

There are rumours however that he also is extremely concerned that the "War on Terra" remain free from any meddling by those pesky unions.

Fighting them there

Since the illegal invasion of Iraq acts of terrorism around the globe have increased sevenfold. Since none of those attacks have occurred in the United States the Bush administration will probably still consider this a success. As long as it's foreigners dying (preferably brown people) in foreign places who cares, right?

Everything's political

One of the US Attorneys recently sacked by the Bush administration, David Iglesias of New Mexico, has spoken about pressure he received from two members of Congress, presumably Republican, to accelerate a probe into alleged corruption by local Democratic officials prior to the November election. According to Iglesias

"I didn't give them what they wanted. That was probably a political problem that caused them to go to the White House or whomever and complain that I wasn't a team player."

Do I sense the all powerful hand of Karl Rove acting behind the scenes here?

But Ann - I like tofu!

The anorexic one, the unlovely Ann Coulter, has now decided that she is an expert on global warming even as she ironically suggests the Al Gore hasn't any credentials as a climatologist. She fears that those of us who are concerned about global warming want to shut off the fossil fuel supplies entirely which will force the Chinese sweatshops at which her "I wear them 24/7" little, black cocktail dresses are manufacturing thereby cheating American males of something or other. Frankly I lost interest very quickly.

Welcome to America - haven of terrorist symphatisers

Americans are far more likely to believe that acts of terrorism against civilians can be justified than residents of predominately Muslim countries such as Indonesia or Pakistan. A survey executed by the Program on International Public Attitudes at the University of Maryland found that "only 46 percent of Americans think that 'bombing and other attacks intentionally aimed at civilians' are 'never justified', while 24 percent believe these attacks are 'often or sometimes justified'."

Who's the evil empire now? I have met some of these people. They are the ones who abuse me when I dare to suggest that the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by the United States in World War II could, and perhaps should, be interpreted as terrorist acts.

A good soldier is neither seen nor heard

In the wake of the scandal over their care, or lack thereof, patients at Walter Reed Medical Center are now forbidden to speak to journalists and some patients believe that they are being punished for speaking to the Washington Post.

Not to worry though. Rep. Louise Slaughter (D - NY) is on the case.

Time to reform the bankruptcy law reform?

The Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego has filed for bankruptcy in order to avoid payment of settlements awarded in law suits against the church for the sexual abuses committed by priests in their employ. Fortunately for them legal changes passed by the last Congress to tighten up the rules in bankruptcy will not prevent them from this method of escape from their obligations. You will note that they have filed for protection before even the first case goes to trial.

Of course ordinary people, with ordinary debts caused by things medical bills and mortgages are much less protected, if at all. Well done Congressmen and Congresswomen. I'll bet that the changes didn't impact on anyone you know.

Yum. Listeria monocytogenes.

Could someone please explain to me just exactly what a "chicken breast strip" is and why one would want to eat it, with or without Listeria monocytogenes?

1-800-RENTAGUN

I really, really want this to be a piss take. There are oh so many reasons why a gun rental shop isn't a good idea. Need I list them?



Unfortunately it seems that it isn't. Don's actual yet scary web site may be found here.

I drove through Indianapolis once but I'm pretty sure I didn't stop.

An armed office is a safe office (as long as you're alone and not suicidal)

Remember when you were little and your father's workplace had a "Take Your Kid to Work Day"? (I don't actually but I knew kids whose fathers did have them.)

Well the great state of Utah wants to go one better. They want to make every day "Take Your Guns to Work Day"!

The stupidest quote justification award goes to State Sen. Mark Madsen who is unsurprisingly a member of the Republic Party. He said:

"What happens if they (a gun owner) have employers that have policies that ban guns in the parking lot? That impacts employees beyond the workplace. It impacts them after work when the want to get a bite to eat at a Trolley Square."

How exactly does not being allowed to take your AK47 to work impact on your ability to have a meal out afterwards? There are two clear choices other than not going at all.

Choice 1: Go to Trolley Square without being armed. It seems like a reasonably non-threatening place as long as there aren't people with guns there! This is the choice of reasonably sane human beings.

Choice 2: Drive your hummer all the way home, get your AK47, put on your camouflage outfit and drive back to Trolley Square for a bite to eat. Don't forget to take your medication whilst you're at home. This would seem to be the preferred choice of Sen. Madsen.

What would you ask?

Over at Black Agenda Report you will find an interesting set of ten questions that every Democratic Presidential candidate should have to answer. They are:

1. Will you end the occupation of Iraq?
2. Will Jose Padilla still be in prison? Will you close Guantanamo?
3. Will you enact a plan for universal health care?
4. Will your administration demand that Israel cease committing human rights abuses and waging war against its neighbors?
5. Will you keep abortion legal?
6. Will you reverse the Patriot Act and other attacks on civil liberties?
7. Will you rebuild New Orleans and the Gulf Coast?
8. Will you decrease the prison population?
9. Will you expose the criminal acts of the Bush administration?
10. Will you protect voting rights?

I think that I might add:

11: Will you reform the tax system and restore it to a progressive basis and ensure that the wealthy and businesses pay their fair share?

nb - I also agree with Ms. Kimberley as to Dennis Kunich. Whenever I have taken one of those quizzes to see which candidate my views are most in line with he had always come out on the top with Dubya on the bottom.

I thought one craved ice cream AFTER one was pregnant

I expect a wave of attacks from the American Christian right that will suggest that health experts are trying to bring stealth contraception into America by suggesting that people should eat low or non fat dairy products in order to reduce the risk of heart disease.

Personally I think this could all be nonsense. The Italians eat lots and lots of gelato, as far as a can tell none of it non fat, and we all know what the current Italian birth rate is like.

"I'd like a stomboli please. Extra hot."

Back where I grew up, outside of Philly, a stromboli was a fattening delight available at the local pizza joints which was essentially mozzarella and Italian cold cuts (pepperoni, hard salami) wrapped up in pizza dough with sauce and baked. It is similar to, but not to be confused with, a calzone.

To the rest of the world however Stromboli is a volcanic island just off of Sicily which is currently acting up. Adjust your holiday plans accordingly.

Perhaps we can't save the children

The last remaining major British charity working in Iraq, Save the Children, has been forced to pull out of the country after fifteen years due to a lack of security. The organisation has done considerable work in the repair and refit of schools and hospitals. Paul Roberts, programme director for Iraq said:

"It was not an easy decision but it became more and more difficult for staff to get around all parts of the country...It's been hard to keep track of local partners' day to day work and their safety has been jeopardised. In practical terms it just became impossible...The main focus in Iraq is around conflict and 'terrorism' but sadly that masks a huge humanitarian issue that's arising. Children can't go to school, there are problems accessing clean water."

Sometimes it is enough to make one just want to weep.

A constitution for Israel?

One of the "accomplishments" in Iraq that Bush&Co like to trumpet when they are looking for something positive to talk about is the writing and adoption of the new Iraqi constitution. Perhaps it is time that America's biggest Middle Eastern ally, Israel, gets one of those. Some Israeli citizens think so too and they have some suggestions although I have a feeling that their proposals will be viewed as non-starters by the "real" Israelis.

While we're at it. It wouldn't a bad idea for the UK either. The British are always bragging about their "constitutional government" but when I ask to see it at the library it seems that someone has always just checked it out!

Turn out the lights

Advisers to the new American commander in Iraq, General David Petraeus, believe that the "coalition of the leaving" now has only six months to win the war, however one defines that, or the Americans will be faced with a situation like Vietnam where political and public support will crumble and an ignoble retreat will be the only option.

It's a good thing the Decider (TM) doesn't read the newspapers.

In the world without oil

Before moving on to lighter things, such as Iraq, I thought it might be a good idea the remind everyone that there are other places in the world which deserve our attention. Places where the virtually limitless funds that are being poured into Iraq would be of significant value. Places that are virtually calling out for freedom and self determination.

Places like Zimbabwe which is now described by the governor of its central bank as "broke and hungry".

Places like Darfur where the killing and suffering continues whilst the world's powers dither, chat and equivocate.