Immediately after learning of a British study that says that robots could soon claim human rights the American government announced plans to form an Android Division within the Department of Homeland Security.
The new division will be responsible for the profiling of all domestic, industrial and experimental robots. Those found to have suspicious contacts, such as an assembly robot at a GM factory which was responsible for welds in a car in which Osama bin Laden once travelled, will be declared "enemy combatants" and may be permanently detained at Guantánamo Bay or other, invisible, American facilities or delivered against their will to the governments of allies in the "War on Terra" (TM). The division will also be responsible for illegally monitoring all robotic software on the planet for terrorist influenced code.
An unnamed DHS spokesman was quoted as saying:
The new division will be responsible for the profiling of all domestic, industrial and experimental robots. Those found to have suspicious contacts, such as an assembly robot at a GM factory which was responsible for welds in a car in which Osama bin Laden once travelled, will be declared "enemy combatants" and may be permanently detained at Guantánamo Bay or other, invisible, American facilities or delivered against their will to the governments of allies in the "War on Terra" (TM). The division will also be responsible for illegally monitoring all robotic software on the planet for terrorist influenced code.
An unnamed DHS spokesman was quoted as saying:
"Go ahead give them human rights. Like we would pay any attention to that!"
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