I think it only fair to do for (to?) the Republican Presidential candidates what I have already done for (to?) their Democratic counterparts and speculate as to where these candidates might fall on the British political spectrum. The Republicans are more difficult as so many of them take positions that either simply don't exist in British politics or exist only on the periphery. Well here goes anyway. The sequence is alphabetical.
Senator Sam Brownback (KS) - already a tricky one - if he were not Catholic one could fit his bizarre attitudes and positions into the Ulster Unionist Party. As he is a Catholic I can only suggest that he stay away for what would otherwise be a possible fit and instead hang about on the distant far right reaches of the Conservative Party; he will of course be lost on the back bench in David Cameron's new user friendly (practically socialist) Tories. Additionally any politician who holds his hand up when asked if he doesn't believe in evolution would be laughed off of the political stage.
Former Governor Jim Gilmore (VA) - I know very little about him but from what I have just read on the web he would seem fit as a right wing or far right wing Tory and firmly on the backbench.
Former Mayor of New York and America Rudolph Giuliani (NY) - Rudy presents difficulties fitting into British politics for a number of reasons. First there is virtually no platform from which a local politician can leap onto the national stage. The one exception to this might be the Mayor of London but this is "Red" Ken's territory and he is not likely to give it up. In any case Rudy's "No Tolerance" approach would never fly in London which according to the United Nations is the most ethnically diverse city in the world. We like tolerance. We want tolerance. We are not giving up on tolerance. The upside for Rudy in London would be that no one would give a shit about his penchant for transvestism and there should be no problem finding him a flat share with a couple of queers in Soho. Secondly his views, as you probably already know, are all over the place; running the gamut from mildly liberal to hard right. He could be on the far right of New Labour - sort of a David Blunkett without a guide dog on somewhere in the middle of the Tory party. In any case he would be considered well right of centre here.
Former Governor Mike Huckabee (AK) - again a relatively unknown quantity to me - my internet research tells me he would be an obscure backbencher on the right of the Tories. Like Brownback he has a fatal evolutionary flaw.
Congressman Duncan Hunter (CA) - again I don't know a whole lot about Congressman Hunter either but I am spotting a trend after a bit of internet research. I am afraid I must exile him to the right wing Tory back benches as well.
Senator John McCain (AZ) - like Rudy he can be all over the place but in British terms he is only all over the right. At his advanced age there would be no place for him in Young David's Nouveau Tories so off to the right wing back benches with him!
Congressman Ron Paul (TX) - Britain really hasn't got a libertarian party although there is a libertarian element in both the Tories and in the United Kingdom Independence Party, an anti-Europe, anti-immigration isolationist party. Mr. Paul would either be on the far right of the libertarian Tories or in the centre of UKIP.
Former Governor Milt Romney (MA) - it might be possible that Young David could find some minor front bench role for the Governor but he wouldn't be prominent and would be considered probably just to the right of centre within the Tory party.
Congressman Tom Tancredo (CO) - given his bizarre anti-immigrant bent, he is obviously not native American, there is only one place for Tom - UKIP - although it is possible that he has had a flirtation with the British National Party. His rightness is practically off the British scale. He also suffers from the aforementioned fatal evolutionary flaw.
Former Senator and former actor Fred Thompson (TN) - obviously Fred has been following the career of Coronation Street's wannabe-MP Adam Rickitt with great interest. He would probably make Young Dave's front bench if only for his booming voice. Even so he would be well to the right of his leader and most of the party.
Former Governor and former cabinet secretary Tommy Thompson (WI) - as I have grown tired of this plethora of Republicans I will only say he would be right wing Tory and too old and unattractive for the front bench.
Senator Sam Brownback (KS) - already a tricky one - if he were not Catholic one could fit his bizarre attitudes and positions into the Ulster Unionist Party. As he is a Catholic I can only suggest that he stay away for what would otherwise be a possible fit and instead hang about on the distant far right reaches of the Conservative Party; he will of course be lost on the back bench in David Cameron's new user friendly (practically socialist) Tories. Additionally any politician who holds his hand up when asked if he doesn't believe in evolution would be laughed off of the political stage.
Former Governor Jim Gilmore (VA) - I know very little about him but from what I have just read on the web he would seem fit as a right wing or far right wing Tory and firmly on the backbench.
Former Mayor of New York and America Rudolph Giuliani (NY) - Rudy presents difficulties fitting into British politics for a number of reasons. First there is virtually no platform from which a local politician can leap onto the national stage. The one exception to this might be the Mayor of London but this is "Red" Ken's territory and he is not likely to give it up. In any case Rudy's "No Tolerance" approach would never fly in London which according to the United Nations is the most ethnically diverse city in the world. We like tolerance. We want tolerance. We are not giving up on tolerance. The upside for Rudy in London would be that no one would give a shit about his penchant for transvestism and there should be no problem finding him a flat share with a couple of queers in Soho. Secondly his views, as you probably already know, are all over the place; running the gamut from mildly liberal to hard right. He could be on the far right of New Labour - sort of a David Blunkett without a guide dog on somewhere in the middle of the Tory party. In any case he would be considered well right of centre here.
Former Governor Mike Huckabee (AK) - again a relatively unknown quantity to me - my internet research tells me he would be an obscure backbencher on the right of the Tories. Like Brownback he has a fatal evolutionary flaw.
Congressman Duncan Hunter (CA) - again I don't know a whole lot about Congressman Hunter either but I am spotting a trend after a bit of internet research. I am afraid I must exile him to the right wing Tory back benches as well.
Senator John McCain (AZ) - like Rudy he can be all over the place but in British terms he is only all over the right. At his advanced age there would be no place for him in Young David's Nouveau Tories so off to the right wing back benches with him!
Congressman Ron Paul (TX) - Britain really hasn't got a libertarian party although there is a libertarian element in both the Tories and in the United Kingdom Independence Party, an anti-Europe, anti-immigration isolationist party. Mr. Paul would either be on the far right of the libertarian Tories or in the centre of UKIP.
Former Governor Milt Romney (MA) - it might be possible that Young David could find some minor front bench role for the Governor but he wouldn't be prominent and would be considered probably just to the right of centre within the Tory party.
Congressman Tom Tancredo (CO) - given his bizarre anti-immigrant bent, he is obviously not native American, there is only one place for Tom - UKIP - although it is possible that he has had a flirtation with the British National Party. His rightness is practically off the British scale. He also suffers from the aforementioned fatal evolutionary flaw.
Former Senator and former actor Fred Thompson (TN) - obviously Fred has been following the career of Coronation Street's wannabe-MP Adam Rickitt with great interest. He would probably make Young Dave's front bench if only for his booming voice. Even so he would be well to the right of his leader and most of the party.
Former Governor and former cabinet secretary Tommy Thompson (WI) - as I have grown tired of this plethora of Republicans I will only say he would be right wing Tory and too old and unattractive for the front bench.
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