Today in infamy - why Captain Codpiece won't count to four

On this day in 1941 Franklin D. Roosevelt made his Four Freedoms address. I hereby present them to you, as redacted by the Bush administration, purely for the sake of the country's security.

The firstThe first is freedom of speech and expression -- everywhere in the world.

The second is freedom of every person to worship (a Protestant Christian) God in his own way -- everywhere in the world.

The third is freedom from want -- which, translated into world terms, means economic understandings which will secure to every nation a healthy peacetime life for its inhabitants -- everywhere in the world.

The fourth second is freedom from fear -- which, translated into world terms, means a world-wide reduction of armaments to such a point and in such a thorough fashion that no nation, with the exception of the United States when ruled by a Republican, will be in a position to commit an act of physical aggression against any neighbor-- anywhere in the world.