Something for the weekend sir?

You'd best not tell President Bush about the new, British government promotional campaign to increase the use of condoms amongst the young. If he finds out Tony might be scratched off the White House Christmas card list.

Obviously by encouraging young Britons, both male and female, to make sure that they carry condoms on a night out it suggests that sex might actually acceptable and, well, fun! We cannot have this. Young women need to be encouraged to keep their legs crossed until at least after the "I do-s".

This is truly shameful behaviour from an American ally. I guess this means bad news for the Bush twins. The trip to London is surely off!