"How many times do I have to tell you? I don't know where the handcuffs came from!"

19 year old David Griffin of Clinton Iowa was minding his own business and stealing stuff out of parked cars when he was nabbed by the local police. They handcuffed him and took him down to the police station from which he slipped away. He was subsequently recaptured and now, in addition to burglary charges, he is to be charged with theft for stealing the handcuffs he was wearing.

Sounds like he's one for the Army!