Conflict in the Irish Isles

Forget Ulster. The latest conflict to stir up the passions of the Irish is the battle between Inis Mor and Inis Oirr, both of the Aran Islands, to claim the right to be recognised as the real Craggy Island. Rumours that Peter Hain was on his inestimable way to mediate the dispute has encouraged the islanders to come up with their own novel solution. They are considering using an "All-Priests Five-a-Side Over-75s Indoor Challenge Football Match" to decide the matter with the winner getting to be Craggy Island for the year and the loser having to suffer the ignominy of being Rugged Island.

In the immortal words of Father Jack: "That would be an ecumenical matter!" so tell Peter Hain to just feck off then!