Dick Cheney is set to personally lead an investigation into a friendly fire incident in Iraq in which US forces shot and killed a driver employed by Halliburton subsidiary Kellog, Brown and Root. Unnamed sources within the administration have reported that the Vice President and Prince of Darkness became enraged when told of the incident, threw a Girl Scout out of his office window and was foaming at the mouth. He is reported to have screamed:
"I couldn't give a fuck if we kill the fucking Brits but I won't stand for the killing of any Halliburton profiteers. Find the cunt who did this and bring him to me. I'll kill him with my bare hands then eat his heart."
The Vice President has been taken to Walter Reed Hospital for "routine tests" where he is said to be resting comfortably under heavy sedation.
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