In a mad rush to clear up the diary before they rush off to do their real jobs (getting re-elected) the members of the US Senate approved a bill authorising the construction of 700 miles of fencing along the US-Mexican border.
It is only a matter of time before it all goes pear shaped.
Scene: a fine summer's afternoon. The youngest son of the Mexican President is wandering along the border, admiring his work having just finished mowing the lawn, when he notices that the fence just put up by the grumpy family next door seems to be on his family's property. He runs inside and tells his father.
El presidente walks over to the neighbour's front door and rings the bell. His new neighbour a slightly bow legged, graying and grumpy man swaggers to the door and opens it.
The neighbour: "Heh. I'm sorry buddy but we've already got somebody to clean the pool. Have a nice day."
El presidente: "Buenos días señor. I don't wish to bother you but I live next door."
The neighbour: "Hey Laura! You didn't tell me there were spics next door!"
El presidente: "Señor. I see you have built this nice new fence since you've moved in. It even has this nice sign on it saying 'No entrar. Propiedad privada'. It is polite of you to have written it in my language but believe me all of my children understand 'keep out' in English."
The neighbour: "Hey Laura. He speaks spic. Call the nephew will you. I think he understands that shit."
El presidente: "As I said, I don't wish to bother you but I was just noticing that the section of the fence over there, by the river, seems to have been built on my property. I am sure it is just an innocent mistake and that you will be happy to correct it."
The neighbour: Listen here hombre. I don't know who told you I make mistakes because I don't, alright. I'm The Decider(TM) and I decided that's where the fence goes and that's where it stays! Entienda?"
El presidente: "But señor it is only a matter of a few meters. I am sure you had no intention to cheat me. Surely it was just an honest mistake. To be fair I will share the cost with you even though you are much richer than I am. You live in this fine mansion and I only have this humble little shack."
The neighbour: "Yeah. I was meaning to talk to you about that. Your run down little shack is depressing the property values around here. You need to do something about that pronto. And another thing you're kids are always climbing over the fence to come play in my yard. I don't like my little girls being exposed to you kids, OK? They're just innocent young girls. I think your kids have been selling them tequila."
El presidente: "Please señor. There is no need to be rude. I'd hate to have get lawyers involved in all this. We should be able to settle this like gentlemen, no?"
The neighbour: "Lawyers. You want to get lawyers involved. Wait till you meet my lawyer amigo! She was almost on the Supreme Court you know that? Just missed by a whisker. And she's got a friend Alberto. He speaks your language buddy so you won't be able to try any spic shit on me."
El presidente: "I hate to see it come to this. Despedida señor."
The neighbour: "Hasta la vista, baby"
El presidente: "Bastardo de gringo."
The neighbour: "Grease ball! Asshola! Think it's your country? It's my fucking country, damn it! I'm the king of the world!"
El presidente: "Cabrón!" (Exeunt chased by Minuteman)
It is only a matter of time before it all goes pear shaped.
Scene: a fine summer's afternoon. The youngest son of the Mexican President is wandering along the border, admiring his work having just finished mowing the lawn, when he notices that the fence just put up by the grumpy family next door seems to be on his family's property. He runs inside and tells his father.
El presidente walks over to the neighbour's front door and rings the bell. His new neighbour a slightly bow legged, graying and grumpy man swaggers to the door and opens it.
The neighbour: "Heh. I'm sorry buddy but we've already got somebody to clean the pool. Have a nice day."
El presidente: "Buenos días señor. I don't wish to bother you but I live next door."
The neighbour: "Hey Laura! You didn't tell me there were spics next door!"
El presidente: "Señor. I see you have built this nice new fence since you've moved in. It even has this nice sign on it saying 'No entrar. Propiedad privada'. It is polite of you to have written it in my language but believe me all of my children understand 'keep out' in English."
The neighbour: "Hey Laura. He speaks spic. Call the nephew will you. I think he understands that shit."
El presidente: "As I said, I don't wish to bother you but I was just noticing that the section of the fence over there, by the river, seems to have been built on my property. I am sure it is just an innocent mistake and that you will be happy to correct it."
The neighbour: Listen here hombre. I don't know who told you I make mistakes because I don't, alright. I'm The Decider(TM) and I decided that's where the fence goes and that's where it stays! Entienda?"
El presidente: "But señor it is only a matter of a few meters. I am sure you had no intention to cheat me. Surely it was just an honest mistake. To be fair I will share the cost with you even though you are much richer than I am. You live in this fine mansion and I only have this humble little shack."
The neighbour: "Yeah. I was meaning to talk to you about that. Your run down little shack is depressing the property values around here. You need to do something about that pronto. And another thing you're kids are always climbing over the fence to come play in my yard. I don't like my little girls being exposed to you kids, OK? They're just innocent young girls. I think your kids have been selling them tequila."
El presidente: "Please señor. There is no need to be rude. I'd hate to have get lawyers involved in all this. We should be able to settle this like gentlemen, no?"
The neighbour: "Lawyers. You want to get lawyers involved. Wait till you meet my lawyer amigo! She was almost on the Supreme Court you know that? Just missed by a whisker. And she's got a friend Alberto. He speaks your language buddy so you won't be able to try any spic shit on me."
El presidente: "I hate to see it come to this. Despedida señor."
The neighbour: "Hasta la vista, baby"
El presidente: "Bastardo de gringo."
The neighbour: "Grease ball! Asshola! Think it's your country? It's my fucking country, damn it! I'm the king of the world!"
El presidente: "Cabrón!" (Exeunt chased by Minuteman)
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