"Man on Dog" Ricky sends me a letter!

Via my good friends at News Max (you have to sign up for their alerts if you want to be able to log in and annoy them occasionally) I received an email today from US Senator Rick Santorum (R - I don't live in PA anymore). I reproduce it in its entirety (with snarky comments slipped in when I can't resist) as I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

Dear Fellow Conservative (he doesn't know any better!),

I have to ask you a very important question that affects you and your family: Why on earth is a U.S. Senate race in Pennsylvania so important to you and families across America?

Here's why. If you want to keep your taxes low, defeat the terrorist threat to our freedom, and restore sanity to our judicial system (he's going to do all this single handed after not having done it in the past six years?) by appointing judges who won’t re-write the Constitution every chance they get then my victory in Pennsylvania will help protect you and your family from the radical left seeking to seize control of the United States Senate this November.

Contribute Today! (Aha! Now we really know why he wants to talk to us!)

I have to ask for your support today because the radical left (Hey! He mentioned me! I'm famous!), more than anything, wants to control the Senate and they know my race holds the key(What race is he? I thought he was white? Maybe I won't vote for him after all.).

Is that important to you? I believe it is. If you think that four years of steady economic growth hasn't been important to our country if you don't want a repeat of Bill Clinton’s massive tax hikes (or his eight years of unprecedented growth)and you don't like the idea of any of our troops in harms way, but you know in your heart that we cannot cut and run from Iraq then you understand fully why I must be re-elected in November (Sorry Ricky - I still don't get it!). All of this, plus the Supreme Court nominees and other judicial nominees are at stake, truly at risk if Republicans lose our Senate Majority.

Contribute Today! (In case you forgot!)

There is little argument that we've got to put the breaks on spending. Even given the war or terror, the horrific hurricane season we experienced, and homeland security costs, the buck needs to stop (and the buck WILL STOP when you're unemployed!).

And we will - without sacrificing our national security or your economic well-being. We can and must keep our economy growing and continue to create more jobs. I assure you, that won't happen if the Democrats takeover Congress. Fiscal restraint (I'll bet he had to look that up first!) or winning the war on terror simply isn’t on their agenda. In fact, I don't really think they have an agenda. My opponent - under the direction of the liberals who control his party - simply attacks me (please - make him stop!).

Look, I can take it when they attack me. I chose a life of public service and I know that sometimes it comes with the territory. But believe me, it's not easy to see your family subjected to hateful accusations and ridicule, all because the Democratic Party wants to defeat me by whatever means it can. Through it all I've maintained my dignity (Ha! Ha! Good one Rick.). My only response has been to ask my opponent for his positions on the war, homeland security, Social Security reform, tax reform, tax cuts, tax hikes, economic growth, Medicare reform and his answer? Silence. No plans. No solutions. No answers. Just more attacks, through such characters as Al Gore, John Edwards, John Kerry and, of course, Howard Dean.
It couldn't be any plainer. The Democrats on the left want a rubber-stamp (Can't we just have yours when you're done with it?)for the ultra-liberal policies they want to inflict on you and your family.

And the only sure, true way I have of countering the left’s onslaught is to take my message straight to the voters and by-pass the media. Only by using television, radio, newspapers, websites, billboards - every media possible, really - will I be able to win this election.

Will you help me today (I'm broke and the party won't give me any money!)? I'm asking you for a contribution of $25, $35, $50, $100, or even $1,000 if possible to Santorum 2006.

I truly appreciate all you've done for our party because it does make a difference. Thank you and may God bless you and your family.
Sincerely,

Rick Santorum
United States Senator

P.S. I hope you see how my Senate race really will have an impact on the direction our precious America takes. Your taxes, your security, the sovereignty of our nation all are at stake. So I'm asking you, a dedicated Republican, to help me today. If you can make a contribution of $25, $35, $50, $100 or even $1,000 today it would be a tremendous lift for us. Thank you

I'm sure you are all rushing off to find your cheque books even as we speak. Help us save this great American hero from the ignominy of having to work for living (as a lobbyist). Give now!