05 October 2006

A phone call

Unidentified man 1 (the voice is very similar in tone to a famous, obese, irascible, drug abusing radio talk show host): "Hey. I just heard the good news."

Unidentified man 2 (believed to be the attorney of UM1): "What good news?"

UM1: "My intern here, Shelia, tells me that the government is going stop seizing prescription drug shipments from Canada."

UM2: "Why is that good news?"

UM1: "You know. my little, heh, heh, problem. You know the one you had to take care of."

UM2: "Would that be little problem number one or little problem number two?"

UM1: "LP1. LP2 wasn't really a problem. Know what I mean? Heh. And not so little either. Heh. Heh."

UM2: "I don't think the ruling applies to oxycontin. And besides you don't have a prescription anymore."

UM1: "Why the hell not! That's damn un-American! I'll rip their balls off! You must know a doctor that will give me script don't you? I mean my damn back is killing me."

UM2: "I don't know a doctor that would touch you with a ten foot pole now. They think you're more trouble than you're worth."

UM1: "Sumovabitch!" (off phone) "Shelia, honey, come out from under there. You've been telling Big Daddy some little white lies haven't you? You've been very naughty."

UM2: "Listen. I've got to go. I've got a call coming in from a referral named Foley. Know him?"

UM1: "I used to. He's a lying bastard. Whatever you do don't turn your back on him."

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